You Can Never Go Home Again

I wonder if most people find their 20th high school reunion anticlimactic? To this point, I certainly have. Last night, STK and I joined many of my former classmates from the class of 1986 for an informal happy hour/meet and greet type thing. While it was nice to catch up with a handful of folks--a former college roomate, a Knowledge Bowl comrade, a fellow jazz band member, and a couple others with whom I really didn't associate--it was not so nice to bump into some others. Some people have changed dramatically; many haven't. The nice folk are still nice and the assholes are still assholes.

The most amusing aspect of the evening had to be people looking at me and trying to match my face with dated high school identity. Throughout the evening, STK and I glimpsed people pointing and whispering as they looked in my direction. A couple of times, I caught wind of the conversation:

Classmate 1: That's D.
Classmate 2: No fucking way.
Classmate 1: Yep.
Classmate 2: Holy shit.

I'm pretty sure that if the class presented someone with the "Most Changed" award, I'd be the recipient. That's two reunions in a row. Score! I'll have to come up with a mighty significant change for the 30 year reunion. I'm open to any and all suggestions.

The saddest moment of the evening occured when I reunited with a longtime friend and drinking buddy. We did almost everything together during high school. It was a safe bet that whatever we were doing--fishing, listening to the Celtics on the radio, roadin'--there'd be plenty of Old Milwaukee Light, Wild Turkey, and Snowshoe Grog (a vile brandy and peppermint schnapps concoction). Sadly, T still hammers away liquor like water . . . and it's taking a toll. We talked for about 15 minutes and I found myself pulling back as the conversation progressed. When I looked at him, I saw a reflection of myself had I not quit drinking and drugging 13 years ago: deep wrinkles around the eyes, slurred speech, spotty memory, and twitchy/lurching movement. He's drinking himself to death.

The rest of the evening consisted of typical reunion chit chat, I suppose. Where are you now? What do you do? Married? Family? How are your brothers, sisters, parents? Not a lot of substance to the discussions, really.

In all, I felt like an outsider most of the night. With all the major changes in my life over the last 20 years, I'm not the same person. Not even close. I felt like a stranger at a dinner party where everyone knows one another (many of those in attendance keep in contact and some still live in the same town). I never felt like I fit in with my classmates during high school and I feel even more alienated today. Is it possible I really don't have anything in common with these folks or am I focusing too much on our differences and not enough on our commonalities? I'm not sure. I've always been one to do a bit of self-alienation and maybe that process has skewed my perception of my place within the cohort of 1986. Many at last night's gathering implied that I was part of the popular crowd in our school. I commented to STK later, "I sure don't remember high school like that." The truth, I suspect, is somewhere in the middle.

Sold!

At around 4:30 PM Mountain Standard Time, STK signed the paperwork to unload The Albatross. When we walked out of the Cherry Creek title office, I let out a WHOOP that echoed off of Nordstroms and caused many of the snotty Cherry Creek types to roll their eyes.* We celebrated our freedom with dinner at Gunther Toody's.

I had a most excellent mug of Kaladi Bros coffee this morning; a most excellent cranberry bagel complimented that most excellent mug of coffee. It was a most excellent morning. Tomorrow AM, I hope to get up early and go for a most excellent run in Washington Park before procuring another most excellent mug of coffee and bagel (I might get crazy and go for blueberry).

*When I lived in Denver proper, I used to get gothed out and walk through the Cherry Creek Mall just to watch the reactions of the shoppers. During one of my strolls through the mall, a security guard followed me into the bathroom and stood, watching, while I relieved myself.

Bleh

I had a really horrible mug of coffee at the end-of-year faculty meeting. The banana bread wasn't bad, though.

We're Colorado bound in less than an hour. Condo closing on Thursday. There will be much rejoicing when that whole affair is concluded. Time with Denver friends and family over the weekend. We'll be heading north to Loveland early next week to frolic with Northern Colorado friends and family. My 20th high school is reunion is a week from Saturday. Where has the time gone? We'll make our return to SMT on June 4th or 5th. If you're in the Colorado area and want to reach me, call my folks--they're in the book.

I'm not sure how often I'll be able to post, but I'll try to keep up. Have a safe Memorial Day, everyone.

Fleeting Existence

When a lute is played, there is no previous store of playing that it comes from. When the music stops, it does not go anywhere else. It came into existence by way of the structure of the lute and the playing of the performer. When the playing ceases, the music goes out of existence.

In the same way all the components of being, both material and nonmaterial, come into existence, play their part, and pass away.

That which we call a person is the bringing together of components and their actions with each other. It is impossible to find a permanent self there. And yet there is a paradox. For there is a path to follow and there is walking to be done, and yet there is no walker. There are actions but there is no actor. The air moves but there is no wind. The idea of a specific self is a mistake. Existence is clarity and emptiness.

-Visuddhi Magga

House Call

Friends and family are under strict orders not to call our house before 9 AM. As someone who has difficulties sleeping, it's not uncommon for me to stay up until 3 AM. I'm usually in bed reading by 2 or 2:30, but I can't seem to find my way to the Land of Zzzzz until a bit later. I'm not sure what that's about and I've given up trying to discover an answer. Now that TLO has arrived in our family, I rarely get to sleep beyond 7:30 but there are days when he allows us to sleep late. So, no phone calls before 9 AM.

Given all that, I wasn't all that surprised to receive a phone call this morning at 8:45 AM. It was our realtor. Yesterday afternoon, after having a local contractor poke, prod, and climb in and about Possibility v2.0 , we made an offer. Our realtor called early this morning to let us know the sellers accepted. While it wasn't an emergency, per se, I can live with a pre-9 AM good news phone call. Provided there isn't some major snafu in the sale of The Albatross (buyer loan is approved, they've already been measuring the condo for window treatments, and our realtor says the deal is 99.9% done) or in our financing (we're pre-approved and the bank assures me there won't be any problem), we should close on our new place June 19. Yikes. I was planning on a nice, relaxing summer. I'm guessing I'll probably be moving and doing a bit of landscaping.

We walked by the place this evening and took a few exterior pictures. Here's a shot looking SW.

One looking NW.

NE

Almost directly North.


We're excited about the new adventure, of course. I'm a little freaked out by the whole affair. As a friend recently reminded me, I once made a commitment to avoid any legal contracts starting with an "M"--I signed a marriage license a couple years back and I'm about to sign a mortgage. Ooops.

Return of the The Feast From 20,000 Fathoms

Friday's Feast, May 19, 2006

Appetizer--What is the last thing you had to have repaired?
I had to replace the windshield wiper blades on the Civic. Does that count as repairing? I actually replaced the blades myself.

Soup--If someone gave you $2,000 with the stipulation that you had to spend half of it on yourself and give the rest to charity, where would you spend the $1,000 and which charity would receive your remaining $1,000?
$1000 would go to a new Honda scooter for scooting around town.

$1000 would go a local Buddhist monastery.

Salad--What is one of your favorite songs from the 1980s?
Arabian Knights--Siouxsie and the Banshees

Main Course--You enter a pet store. Which section do you go to first?
Small pets. I usually pic up foood for Oz, the bunny, then make my way to pick up necessities for the cats. I complete the circuit by cruising to the dog food area.

Dessert--On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how athletic are you?
7. I'm not very graceful but can hold my own on a long run. As my runner's knee flared up a few weeks back, I'm also putting a few miles on the exercise bike. Run one day, bike the next, then a day off.

Pop Culture Travel

This article offers some interesting thoughts about popular culture and the phenomenon of popular culture related travel. I've heard of people following the wine-tasting tour of the two companions from Sideways, of people visiting the Field of Dreams, and Lord of the Rings fans treking to New Zealand to visit the faux Shire. I've developed my own list of potential pop culture tours. My top five popular culture travel destinations include the following.

Hardangerjøkulen Glacier, Norway.
Devils Tower National Monument.
The Empire State Building*
Ferris Bueller's Chicago Tour.
1776 History Tour (historical sites of Philadelphia).
The location where Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring was filmed. The location of the lake battle in Hero would be a close second.
Smallville. Wait, I think I live there. Okay, wrong state but similar size and geography.

*I visited NYC several years ago and didn't manage to visit the Empire State Building. WTF?

The Walls Have Ears

More will be revealed:

Watching. Always Watching.

This smacks of the various Sedition Acts the government has instituted from time to time. Are those acts still in force? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Regardless, I find it very disturbing that the government is cataloging phone numbers used by the press.

Perhaps it's time to revisit Robert M. La Follette's Free Speech in Wartime. It's an abridged version, but the only one I could locate quickly. I find the following passage poignant.

Rather, in time of war, the citizen must be more alert to the preservation of his right to control his Government. He must be most watchful of the encroachment of the military upon the civil power. He must beware of those precedents in support of arbitrary action by administration officials which, excused on the pleas of necessity in war time, become the fixed rule when the necessity has passed and normal conditions have been restored.

I suspect this phone number stuff is the tip of the iceberg. Is it time to start worrying about our rights?

Possibilities v2.0

STK talked me into looking at a house she's been admiring for a couple months. From the outside it really isn't all that special and I always responded with a, "meh."



Today, she called our realtor and set up a showing. I, believing the place to be an average fixerupper, consented to go along for what I knew was going to be a waste of time. Was I ever wrong. The place is amazing! Built in 1878, the place has undergone substantial additions and remodelings over the years. The latest remodel occured with the last year. The house has three bedrooms (we're talking huge rooms--one of the bedrooms is 15x14), a tremendous kitchen (with an island), a formal dining room, living room, sitting room, four bathrooms (2 half baths; 2 full), and a 2 car attached garage. New paint (in colors STK loves), windows, full insulation, and carpet add to the attractiveness of the place. The only quirky part about the place is that the basement can only be entered from an exterior door. During one of the various remodels, a narrow stairway leading to the basement was sealed shut. Accessing the water heater, boiler, and water softener requires a quick jaunt outside (a walk that will be much colder in the middle of the winter).

Before even leaving the place, we asked our realtor to check on average utility costs for the last couple years. He checked and called back with a reasonable number--a little less than what we paid in our current place over the winter. Since we liked the place so much, we're having a local contractor give the place an informal inspection on Thursday afternoon. If everything checks out, we'll probably make an offer over the weekend.

Bits & Pieces

WTF are television executives thinking? Must everything be about the almighty dollar? There are rumblings that Everwood will not make the transition from the WB to the CW (the combined UPN/WB network that premieres this fall). Everwood is one of the few programs out there that actually deals with serious issues in complex ways; there are no easy answers for the characters on this program. They make tons of mistakes (don't we all), but eventually get where they're going and manage to learn a few life lessons along the way. It's also one of the few programs that treats seniors in high school for what they are: young adults. With the way that Smallville has le sucked this year, Everwood is the only remaining major network program we watch on a regular basis . . . and it looks like it's getting the axe. Figures.

The President is sending 6,000 troops to secure our borders from those dastardly Mexican immigrants. With the NSA collecting phone records, the continuing effort to bring democracy to Iraq, and National Guard troops protecting us from southern marauders, I feel safer slipping into my bed at night. A few weeks ago I thought V for Vendetta was a bit over-the-top; today, not so much.

I must have one of these shirts. In black, of course. While you're at that particular site, you should listen to MP3s by Hank Piece, Merrick Foundation, and Farmers Almanac. That's my cousin singing and playing guitar. He's a rock star!

One section of final exams/grades completed. Two sections to go. I'm hoping to be finished with final grades by Wednesday night.

Possibilities

With STK's recent employment news and the pending sale of The Albatross, we've started looking at potential permanent housing prospects. Unlike the overinflated market of Colorado, the local market is extremely reasonable. While there are a number of older homes we really like that are on the market, each needs some kind of significant modification. One needs new floors as a result of cats with poor litter training and another needs insulation from top to bottom (and all the appliances replaced). Each of these older homes has a great deal of character and would be a wonderful place to establish roots . . . at the cost of a mortgage + $20,000. We're just not keen on spending all that time and energy to make a place liveable.

There's another place, one that doesn't have nearly the character of the other two, but is reasonably priced. The place recently went through a major remodel and everything, I mean everything, was replaced or redone. From appliances, to bathroom tile, insulation (full attic and wall), to Central Air, to the wiring, everything has been replaced within the last five years. Three bedrooms, two full baths, an insulated garage, a decent yard, and an awesome location (10 minute walk from school; 15 minutes from downtown; 2 minutes from my regular running path) make the place incredibly attractive. One of the bedrooms would become a guest room and there's a loft like area that would serve well as a home office. We don't love the exterior (vinyl siding that can't be painted) and we'd need to strip some wallpaper and do some painting inside (all tasks within our ability), but that would be the extent of the work. Here's a pic:

We made an extrememly low offer a few weeks back and got a feel for where the price is likely to fall. It's well within our budget, even moreso now that STK has a position starting in the Fall. The sellers weren't thrilled about our "The CO Condo Must Sell" contingency and wanted a very flexible agreement that would essentially allow them to back out at almost any moment. We decided that wasn't for us and backed off the deal. Today, the realtor with whom we were working called and asked if we'd be interested in reopening negotiations on the place. The sellers apparently haven't found any other takers and would like to move the place by June 15. As STK stated earlier, "The ball is in our court."

Feastivus

Friday's Feast Ninety-Three

Appetizer--What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Pistachio Almond Fudge.

Soup--What are 3 things you would like to put in a time capsule?
My dissertation, my latest AA medallion (#13 on June 2), and a picture of STK, TLO, and myself.

Salad--Name something you are 100% sure of.
I am 100% sure that I am still learning.

Main Course--What is something you do to calm yourself when you're stressed or upset?
A long run does wonders.

Dessert--If you could receive an invitation to any important event, what would you like it to be?
The Skywalker Ranch holiday party.

Recommends

I was going to write something really profound on my blog tonight and now I can't remember what I was going to write. Really profound, eh? I guess I'll go with a couple quick movie suggestions. Both films slipped beneath the mainstream radar. Nevertheless, I found them entertaining.

Danny Deckchair.
Saved!.

Enjoy.

Consequences

Dangerous consequences will follow when politicians and rulers forget moral principles. Whether we believe in God or karma, ethics is the foundation of every religion.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Buy this car to drive to work; Drive to work to pay for this car

At approximately 12:30 PM, STK was offered the K-6 art teacher position at a kind-of-local school district. She accepted the position. Provided everything goes okay with state licensing and the school board, STK will return to the teaching fold in August.

Nice work STK. You're one of the best art teachers out there and it obviously shows. You go on one interview and get a job. For the baseball fans out there, that's what you call batting 1.000.

Reboot & Retool

By this time next week, another semester of classroom time will be complete. Yes, I'll still have finals to give, but the majority of my work for the semester will be done. This hasn't been an easy semester by any stretch. Teaching a new course is extremely time consuming; teaching two new courses is doubly so. Still, I weathered the storm and I'm mostly intact.

Generally, I consider myself an excellent teacher. I know my material, I'm prepared for class each and every day, I provide a good mix of lecture/discussion/artifact analysis, and I'd like to think I'm entertaining. Most of the time. One of the new classes I'm teaching landed with a resounding "thud." About half way through the semester, I could feel myself and my students getting bored, bored, bored with the format. Unfortunately, as the syllabus and related work had already been assigned, there wasn't a lot I could do. The course turned into lecture, lecture, lecture, and more lecture. Boring. Boring. Boring. It's boring for the students and it's boring for me. There's nothing worse than a boring class.

I take my teaching very seriously. When a class doesn't go well, I think about it. A lot. All the time, actually. I don't ever want to be the professor about whom students say, "Ugh. Avoid that guy. Boring." So, I had a chat with my students today, took responsibility for the boring end to the semester, threw out some ideas for retooling the course, and solicited suggestions. In the course of about 5-10 minutes, we came up with some excellent ideas for making the course more interactive and scintillating. When I unveil the revamped version of the course next spring, I think the students will be pleasantly surprised. One of the major changes will be the amount of teaching done by the students themselves. Each day, for about 10 minutes or so, pairs of students will be responsible for setting up the context for the following lecture/discussion. I'll still prepare as if the students weren't teaching the class--you never know when students will simply drop the ball and put together a terrible presentation/discussion. The students also asked that we do more in class analyses. No problem there, either. I like hearing what students think about material I've perused dozens of times. I'm generally suprised by how many things my students see that I've somehow missed.

A fizzled course becomes an opportunity to learn and grow as a teacher. That can't be all bad, I think. That doesn't help the students who struggled through the class with me, but future classes should benefit from the experience.

Feast!

Friday's Feast, May 05, 2006

Appetizer--From which country(s) are some (or all) of your ancestors?
UK, Germany, Native America

Soup--How would you describe your sneeze?
Howard Deanish. Eaaaarrrrgggghhhh.

Salad--What is the last thing you cleaned?
Dinner plates. I rinsed them and popped them in the dishwasher.

Main Course--Who made the strongest first impression on you?
My wife. The first time I saw her dancing, it stopped me in my tracks. I crushed on her from afar for several years. How I wish I had approached her that first night. It all worked out in the end, but we both would have avoided a lot of grief had I screwed up the courage to talk to her.

Dessert--Name one thing you want to accomplish in your lifetime.
You know, I'm pretty darn pleased with all the things I've accomplished to this point. As far as I'm concerned, everything else is bonus material.

More Odds and Ends

In preparation for the official sendoff of The Albatross, we needed to do a handful of minor repairs. That's difficult to do when you're 900+ miles away from the former residence in question. Thankfully, we have the most excellent friends on the planet. Or is that in the solar system? Maybe even the entire galaxy? A quick shout out to J & C and they jumped on the job. We called the Handy Boys Sunday evening and asked if they'd take a look at the minor repairs. Two days later, the repairs are complete. We owe them. Big time.

STK reports that her Monday interview went as well as it could have possibly gone. She had no problem with any of the posed questions and feels like she connected with all three interviewers. She also reports that everyone at the school exudes Midwest "nice". The district is interviewing additional candidates over the next couple days and should make a decision by the end of the week. According the Prinicipal, STK should hear something, one way or the other, by the end of the upcoming weekend.

I checked my upcoming final exam schedule earlier tonight. Small Midwest College has an odd testing schedule: Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. I've taught at five different schools and this is the only one where I've encountered Saturday testing. As luck would have it, all three of my final exams fall on Saturday. If I put my nose to the grindstone, I should have all tests graded and final grades calculated by Tuesday, May 16. Wouldn't that be nice?

Salmagundi

STK has a job interview Monday afternoon at a school district that's fairly close (within an hour commute). Send postive interviewing vibes at 3:30 CST.

Nuggets finally won a playoff game against the Clippers. The game was one of the ugliest games I've seen this year. Absolutely painful to watch, especially the 3rd quarter.

We're spending the evening with Aunt J and Uncle G on Saturday. Cousin S will be in town from the Northwest and we really want to see him. So, we're piling in the Element and making the 3.5 hour drive to The Big City. It will be good to get out of town for a day or so.

The Two Week buzzer sounded today at 4 PM. That's right, the semester finally ends in two weeks. I think I'm done giving finals three or four days later. The finals schedule around here is kind of screwy. Better check on that. Regardless, I should have final grades calculated no later than May 18. I can't wait.

DenverEnvy

I really miss Denver.

Friday's Feast. Friday, April 21, 2006

Appetizer--List 3 things you keep putting off.
Mailing a package to A.
Cleaning my desk.
Scanning an essay for students.

Soup--What do you feel is your greatest responsibility?
I would have said being kind/compassionate up until about 10 months ago. Now, my greatest responsibility is teaching my son to be gentle, compassionate, and kind.

Salad--If you could have starred in any movie, which one would you have wanted to be in and why?
Napolean Dynamite. I look cool in moon boots.

Main Course--What is an expectation you had as a child about being an adult and, now that you are grown up, you realize you were wrong?
I guess I probably felt that adults have more freedom. Boy, was that ever wrong. All the responsibilities we have in our lives actually curtails our freedoms quite a bit. Oh, we can make just about any old decision, but the consequences are amplified significantly as an adult.

Dessert--When was the last time you had your car serviced?
Monday.

Denied!

A few weeks ago, I submitted a chapter proposal for an upcoming Science Fiction book. Today, I received a very nicely worded email informing me that my proposal wasn't right for the book.

Putting work out there and having it critiqued, and possibly rejected, is one of the few hazards of my profession. Even the best scholars typically receive several rejections a year. As a relatively new scholar, I'm always told the same thing: "don't take the rejections personally." I have a difficult time with that, I'm afraid. There's that part of me that always asks, "Why wasn't my work good enough?" Silly, I know, but that's my initial reaction. So, I spent the better part of today bummed that my proposal didn't make the cut. I'll give myself the rest of tonight to feel disappointed and then it's time to suck it up and move on. As I've been asked to participate on a panel at the upcoming national convention, some form of the essay will likely see the light of day (we're still waiting on acceptances for national convention panels). If the panel doesn't make the cut, I'll sit down and decide how much time and energy I want to put into submitting the essay to a journal.

Blowing Smoke

"I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."

There you have it. Exhibit A regarding the President's inability to admit he made a bad decision. Hearing voices is right. This President needs a good therapist as much, if not more, then he needs a new Secretary of Defense.

The Elusive Academic Americano

Are you kidding me? This is my dream research. Why didn't I think of this as a research project?!

His research has taken him to 300 Starbucks in six countries for a caffeine-fueled opus titled "Consuming Starbucks" that's due for publication in 2008. He is one of several academics studying a type of 21st century cafe culture — Italian coffee in an American package — that has spread rapidly around the world.

I'm open to any and all suggestions regarding the intersection of coffee, popular culture, and rhetoric. Something about conspicuous consumption, perhaps?

Scooby Dooby Doo, Where Are You?

I received a jury summons for U.S. District Court today . . . in Denver. Apparently, nobody in the District Court system is aware that my official residence changed eight months ago. Honest. I updated my address with the local DMV, the IRS, and everything. Thinking I should try and avoid the potential arrest warrant that comes from bailing out of jury duty, I made a quick call to the Clerk of the Denver U.S. District Court. The conversation went something like this.

Clerk: US District Court. May I help you.
Me: Yes. I received a jury summons for the Denver District Court. Unfortunately, I no longer live in the Denver area. I now live in the Midwest. Is there a way I can be excused from serving in Denver?
Clerk: You'll need to fill out the potential juror form and send it back. Indicate your new address and a request to be excused on the back.
Me: Uh, can't I just give you that information. My address officially changed eight months ago. I updated everything with the local DMV months ago.
Clerk: No. You need to fill out the potential juror form and mail it back.
Me: Uh, I'm not really a potential juror. I live 900 miles away.
Clerk: You still need to return the form. That's how we handle requests to be excused. Fill out the form and use the postage paid envelope.
Me: Okay. I guess I'll fill out the form.
Clerk: Thanks for calling.
Me: Sure

So, I spent 10 minutes filling out the silly bubble sheet form with my trusty No. 2 pencil. Mind you, this is a form that WILL NOT BE USED by lawyers when forming a jury pool BECAUSE I'M 900 MILES AWAY.

This goofy experience has shed a ton of insight into why our nation can't find such elusives as Osama bin Laden. If the U.S. District Court can't keep tabs on someone who voluntarily updates his legal residence information, then how on earth can we expect the federal government to track down someone who tries to evade detection?* Sheesh.

*I bet that last paragraph triggered some government internet tracking program.
Osama + evade detection = trigger. Count on it.

Proceed with Guarded Optimism

I'm not sure if it's a result of all the thoughts, energy, prayers, or magick spells being directed our way, but we've received some very good news. STK spent early Friday afternoon seeking legal advice regarding the condo; STK spent late Friday afternoon going over the details of a real estate contract. We finally received on offer on The Albatross. It took until Saturday afternoon to get the formal contract faxed* and returned but, as of last evening, all parties had a signed contract in hand.

While we're relieved, we understand that it's not a done deal. According to our realtor, however, the loan won't be a problem with the lender (she already called to make sure the buyers are approved and ready to go)and the appraisal and inspection are nothing more than formalities. So, we cross our fingers and toes and proceed with guarded optimism. Since the buyers are in a lease through the end of May, the closing date is scheduled for May 25. As luck would have it, we're making another trip westward at the end of May for my 20th high school reunion. If all goes well, there will be much we-finally-sold-the-place celebrating before returning to the Midwest corn oven**.

Continued thoughts, energy, prayers, and magick spells would be much appreciated.

*Would you believe someone gave us a printer/copier/fax machine combo during our recent trip to Colorado. Weird.

**Mad props to my cousin S for coining the term "corn oven." If you haven't spent a summer in the Midwest, you probably won't understand the appropriateness of that term.

Feastivus

Appetizer--Name a trait you share with your parents or your children.
My son and I seem to share an inability to sleep. We'll both sleep, but we have to be absolutely exhausted to do so.

Soup--List 3 qualities of a good leader, in your opinion.
Compassion, passion, organization.

Salad--Who is your favorite television chef?
Jeff Smith, The Frugal Gourmet. He taught me how to cook, actually.

Main Course--Share a story about a gift you received from someone you love.
For our first anniversary, STK took us for an overnight visit to Gold Lake Spa. Heated marble floors in the cabin bathroom, gourmet meals, massage, lakeside hot pools? Are you kidding? I'd never experienced anything like that trip. Talk about rest and relaxation.

Dessert--How do you react under pressure?
I generally get very stressed out, have a meltdown or two, then get my act together and rise to the occasion.

Krakatoa

Earlier today, I had a complete and utter meltdown regarding the condo situation. I'm not talking a profanity laced tirade--my normal meltdown--but a throwing things (thankfully, it was a piece of cardboard and plastic bag), screaming at the top of my lungs, shaking my fist at the sky, profanity laced eruption. STK talked with an attorney and he said she'll probably have to look at the B-word as an option if we want to protect our assets and income. If there's a deficiency judgment, and that's a regular occurance with a foreclosure, the bank will come after her for the remaining balance. Bankruptcy apparently forces the lender to look at other options (e.g. Deed in Lieu of Foreclosure). The condo is entirely in her name and she's going to be the one who takes the hit on the deal. I feel like a total schmuck for having asked her to move away from a decade long career and a situation in which we were having no problem making payments on the condo. Yes, I would have been an adjunct professor for the rest of my higher education career had we stayed in Colorado. Today, that doesn't seem like it would have been such a bad choice. Don't get me wrong, I love my present job. At the end of the day, however, I'm not sure it's worth the sacrifices.

Maybe the amazing will happen and the condo will sell in the next month. I'm not holding my breath.

Beginner's Mind

In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few.

-Shunryu Suzuki, "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind"

Reality Bites

The trip home was long, but uneventful, and we finally collapsed in an exhausted heap around 4 AM Sunday. After a few hours sleep, it was back to reality for me. School, school, and more school. Three days later and I'm almost caught up. I should know better than to take a vacation during Spring Break. Despite the stress of falling behind, I'm glad we made the trip as I really needed a city fix. Most of the time, we're okay living in a small community. Once in a while, however, we long for the hustle and bustle.

Unfortunately, school isn't the only source of stress in our lives. Since returning, we've had to face a few situations we wish we could avoid. M called last night and asked if I'd be able to attend the wedding at the end of the month. With a great deal of regret, I informed him that we just can't afford the trip. Skipping the celebration is killing me, actually. M and I have been friends for over 25 years; we've seen one another through extreme highs and dreadful lows. I would love nothing more than to be in SLC come April 21, but that just won't happen. Dammit.

Which brings me to the ugliest of the various reality checks: the condo. After a year on the market and thousands of mortgage dollars paid, the condo still hasn't sold. We've totally gutted one of our retirement accounts and have no additional $$$ from which to draw. The "F" word, and not the profane term that seems to upset the older generation, has been flowing freely in our home. That's right--foreclosure. If the condo doesn't sell by June 30, we'll have to let it go. STK and I aren't used to being in this situation as we both have perfect credit. We really don't have that much debt and while things are tight from time to time, paying the bills isn't a problem. Paying for two living spaces, one we occupy and one we don't, isn't feasible. We've considered everything possible to keep the place up-to-date until it sells which, given the poor state of the market, could be a good long time. We've considered walking away from my position and moving back: STK could land a job fairly easily. Unfortunately, college teaching positions aren't easy to come by--that's why we moved in the 1st place. We've thought about STK & TLO moving back, STK taking a teaching position, and me staying at my present position.* We'd commute back and forth on weekends once a month, maybe twice. We'd be able to spend all the various breaks together, too. That's one of the benefits of two teachers hookin' up. That arrangement would no doubt save the condo but I'd miss watching my son grow up and STK and I would have to learn how to negotiate a long-distance relationship. Ick. Losing the place isn't the end of the world. A condo is a material possession and in the long run those don't count for much. I think it's a matter of our pride more than anything else. When we make a commitment, we both like to fulfill our obligations.

When we accepted the position and made the move last summer, we thought we were doing the right thing for our family. A slower way of life, a safer place for our child, and a lower cost of living all seemed incredibly attractive. The only drawback we saw, and we did see this possibility, was the sale of our place. We convinced ourselves, however, that the place would sell. This was the perfect position for me. The stars aligned! Of course the condo would sell. Ooops. Today, I question whether we made the right decision. Yes, I love my job. In fact, I think it's safe to say there isn't another job out there that's more perfect. The students and administration seem to feel the same way about me, too. Yes, TLO is being raised in a way that wouldn't have been possible last year. He spends about six hours a month in the care of someone other than STK or myself. From almost every angle (lack of Kaladi Coffee and good bagels is another serious shortfall of our present location), this has been a good move. Financially, it's been a freakin' disaster. It will literally take us a decade or more to recoup the retirement $$$ through which we've burned. The only thing that keeps from totally losing my shit over all of this is that I know things could be much, much worse. Food could be difficult to come by, someone could be ill, etc. I keep repeating over and over: it's just a condo, it's just a condo, it's just a condo.

Can I take another vacation? For a week we were able to get away, play with friends and family, drink good coffee, eat terrific bagels, and relax. A few days later and reality returns. Reality is overrated.

*Family and friends in the area would help with TLO, no doubt. If he stayed with me, we'd be dealing with daycare 5 days a week. Another expense. Great.

Midwest or Bust

After several fun filled days in the Rocky Mountain region, STK, TLO, and I are packing our bags and heading back to the Midwest tomorrow AM. To say this has been a busy trip would be an understatement. Thankfully, the business of it all has been offset by the thrill of spending time with friends and family. We managed to see J & T (who just happened to be back visiting T's daughter), all our Goth friends (J, C, M, TLR [the newest gothling], S, K, K's new boi, G, M), STK's family, and my family. We also managed to hit most of our favorite restaurants, coffee houses, CD stores, and a couple of used bookstores. Tattoos were inked, V for Vendetta consumed, and two flavors of taffy, banana & black licorice, procured.* I managed to finish my chapter proposal and even graded a handful of papers. Alas, I have many, many papers to grade in the Element during our long drive back tomorrow. Sunday afternoon and evening have already been designated official catch-up-on-school/grading hours. That's the price for traveling, I suppose. I think it's a price well worth paying.

We've decided that we'll give the entire drive a shot--it's about 15 hours with all the stopping required by the dogs and TLO. Fortunately, I have relatives about 11 hours or so into the trip. If we're tired, we've made arrangements to crash for the night. So, I should be back to my regular sporadic posts early in the coming week.

*More proof that Natalie Portman can act and that George Lucas somehow managed to suck the acting life of her.

Community

Because we all share this planet earth, we have to learn to live in harmony and peace with each other and with nature. That is not just a dream, but a necessity. We are dependent on each other in so many ways that we can no longer live in isolated communities and ignore what is happening outside those communities.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Temporality

Until about a week ago, this semester was killing me. I couldn't get into a groove in terms of class prep, grading, and research; no matter how hard I tried, I was always a few steps behind. There just wasn't enough time in the day for school, family, personal time, and sleep. Last week, however, I had one of those Eureka! moments. Rather than trying to sleep my regular 1-7 routine, I decided to break up my sleep pattern. My new schedule looks something like the following.

0230-0700 Sleep
0700-0900 TLO/AM Routine
0900-1130 Nap w/TLO
1130-1230 TLO/Lunch
1230-1700 School
1700-1830 TLO Time
1830-2000 Exercise
2000-2200 Eat/STK Time
2200-0000 School
0000-0200 Surf/Read/work
0200-0230 Leisure Read
Repeat

Believe it or not, the routine seems to work for me. I'm not a terribly heavy sleeper and I used to spend much of every night in bed, but awake. By the time I make it to bed between 2-3 AM, I'm asleep within about 10 minutes of turning out the light and I don't wake up until the alarm screeches at 7:10 AM.

I still don't have enough time in the day (I had a "How am I going to get all this done?" moment a couple nights back), but the situation is improving. I'm working on a proposal for a book chapter and that means more school/research time than usual. When that's done, however, I should have time to spare.

Taming of the Brew

For those in search of a good cappuccino in a Starbucks-on-every-corner world (and sometimes two Starbucks on opposite corners), give their short cappuccino a try. I'm afraid I can't offer a review. I don't drink anything other than coffee, espresso, and an occasional Americano (espresso shots with water).

The Short Cappuccino

And some not so great news for those of us trying to be socially conscious coffee drinkers:

Not So Fair Trade Coffee?

I love the paragraph regarding the way the meaning of coffee has changed in the last decade.

In the mid-?90s, as Starbucks stores popped up in rapid succession and the image of the overworked exec lost some of its appeal, coffee became associated with epicureans rather than workaholics. The luxury item of a leisure class, coffee was suddenly less speed than valium. "Almost overnight, coffee switched its meaning," comments Scott Hamrah, a semiotics consultant and expert in the field of brand identity. "It became the opposite of what it meant before. First it was this stuff that you drank that allows you to be a machine. Then it became this moment of serene contemplation."

Oddly enough, coffee means both for me. I find a good cup of coffee one of the most soothing things on the planet. Similarly, it's a great jolt of get up and go about 1 or 2 PM. Given my intake of coffee and caffeine, I think any physical effects are largely a result of psychological expectations.

headache

Here's the incomprehensible thought of the evening.

Potentiality (in its double appearance as potentiality to and as potentiality not to) is that through which Being founds itself sovereignly, which is to say, without anything preceding or dtermining it other than its own ability not to be. And an act is sovereign when it realizes itself by simply taking away its own potentiality not to be, letting itself be, giving itself to itself.

If you're thinking, "huh?", I'm with you.

He Keeps Going, and Going, and Going . . .

If at first you don't succeed, keep reiterating the same message that presently has you facing record low numbers in the polls.

President Bush plans to issue a new national security strategy today reaffirming his doctrine of preemptive war against terrorists and hostile states with chemical, biological or nuclear weapons, despite the troubled experience in Iraq.

How many more years do have to put up with hearing the same thing again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again . . . ?

Isn't there an election soon or something?

HuhWha?

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I'm part of an academic reading group. After a long hiatus, we're resuming our gatherings and beginning with the first couple chapters of Giorgio Agamben's Homo Sacer: Sovereign Power and Bare Life. Have I mentioned that I'm the only non-philosopher in the reading group? This puts me at a serious disadvantage when it comes to getting up to speed with the concepts presented in almost very text we tackle. Rather than reading straight through the first couple chapters of Homo Sacer, I had to stop and spend some time educating myself on "the state of exception" concept. Thanks to the magic of the Internets, I think I understand the basics of the idea. "Think" is the operative term.

I don't feel very smart tonight. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's not my usual territory.

Huh?

I had one of those days in the classroom where odd vocabulary words were flying out of my mouth. This unnamed phenomenon occurs once in a great while and there doesn't appear to be any rhyme or reason to it. I don't know if I get bored with my regular vocabulary or what, but it usually perplexes a few of my students. Here are some of the words I used today:

foliage
deftly
besmirched
hullabaloo
juxtaposition

Anyone want to take a guess as to how I used each?

Ufda

As of yesterday, the prospect of seeing more of J & T was just that: a prospect. Today, it's more than a possibility or probability--they're moving to our corner of the Midwest! For those keeping score, T & J are the friends with whom we spent our November Boston trip. One of my colleagues is going on sabbatical during the 06-07 school year and T applied as her one year replacement. Last week, T visited the college as a guest lecturer, met my departmental colleagues, and interviewed with the Dean. Today, T received a job offer and she accepted. J has already been practicing his Norwegian.

STK, TLO, and I are thrilled they'll be joining us!

Birthday Boy

Yesterday was my birthday. Although it doesn't seem remotely possible, I'm now officially 38 years old. Mentally, I still feel like I'm in my 20s; physically, my body tells me I'm 38.

I had what I'd consider an almost perfect birthday celebration. T was in town as a visiting scholar and stayed through the weekend to help celebrate my 38th; it would have been nice to see J, the Alabama Hick, but he was otherwise disposed.* With the temperature soaring into the 50s, I went for a long run along the river before dinner. That's the first time I've been able to run outside since the onset of winter. The birthday dinner consisted of whole wheat linguini tossed in a light olive oil and garlic saute, green beans (I love them and we never eat them), and a lovely spinach, fresh greens, and feta salad. After dinner, STK, TLO, T, and I enjoyed a brisk evening walk down to a local coffee house where I consumed chocolate covered espresso beans and an Americano with an extra shot. Bbbbzzzzzz. We trekked our way back home and settled in for a dessert feast to be remembered. STK surprised me with a homemade cheesecake and whopper tornado (cheesecake, whoppers, and vanilla ice cream blended together like a DQ blizzard), followed by dark chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting. Yes, folks, I can still put away desserts like crazy. I ate sweets until I couldn't eat any more. I'm happy to report that this 38 year old's stomach can still tolerate all the caffeine and sweets he can consume.

Did I mention T came bearing gifts? I'm now the owner of a bright red stapler shaped like a dog.** The dog "bites" the papers in the stapling process. How funny is that? The stapler will enjoy a place on my school desk with the rest of my quirky pop culture artifacts. She also brought a half dozen cinnamon raisin bagels. We're talking excellent bagels, not the exceedingly lame ones to which I've grown accustomed. My mouth did the happy dance this morning as I enjoyed a delicious bagel with my morning Kaladi Coffee. Four more days of bagely goodness await!


*There's a possibility we'll be seeing plenty of J & T in a few months. More on that as/if/when the situation warrants.

**Funny but true. During kindergarten orientation, a school psychologist suggested my parents hold me back from entering kindergarten for a year. The reason? I drew and colored a dog with red ears. To the psychologist, this was a sign of aggressive behavior. My parents laughed and told him/her to take a leap: my real-life dog had reddish brown ears. The psychologist also said I was too comfortable in the school setting, whatever that means. Naturally, we want our children to be uncomfortable in the school setting. Imagine that--my dad was an elementary school prinicipal and I'd been visiting school on an almost weekly basis since the moment I entered the world. Schools have always been a second home for me.

Crazy Train

I'm still alive, although the lack of posts on my blog would suggest otherwise. Actually, all the lack of posts means is that I'm busy, busy, busy. Every time I sit down to blog, something comes up: a student email, TLO needs attention, or I realize I need to get to bed or survive on four hours of sleep. What the heck is cutting into my precious time? Teaching and parenting, mostly. I'm teaching a couple of new courses this semester and that means about 2-3 times as much prep as usual. From 10-1 AM, my prime blogging time, I'm usually outlining a journal article or two for class discussion the following day. Tonight, for example, I spent a couple hours tightening up my lecture on individual and collective subjectivities. The book we're using for the class is generaly decent, but the chapter on subjectivity is puresuckage. So, I generated a lecture from scratch. Did I mention the department Chair is observing my lecture tomorrow? She tells me its a regular part of my review but I think she's been ordered by the Bush Administration to see if I'm subverting the minds of college students. The answer: of course I am. I'm just doing it in a way so insidious that even the watchdogs won't ferret me out.

Speaking of reviews, I already heard from the school that I'll be promoted up one step as Assistant Prof and will be receiving a corresponding 6.5% raise for the upcoming school year. Considering I haven't had a real raise in years, 6.5% sounds good. Now, if the damn condo would sell our financial situation would be all roses.

Despite all the school hustle and bustle, STK and I managed to engage in some recent leisure activities. Last week we attended a lecture by a Norse mythology scholar/storyteller; despite my familiarity with the Norse pantheon via the Thor comic, he did tell some stories with which I wasn't familiar. With our interest in all things spiritual, we picked up a copy of his book. We also engaged in something of a mini Asian film festival this weekend. Saturday night we took in 2046, an artsy film featuring nonlinear storytelling. The film follows the life of a writer and jumps back and forth between his real life relationships and the setting of a science fiction story he's writing. Add in a time shift or two and you have a film that requires some concentration to follow. STK and I both offer our recommendation. Tonight, we went with a change of pace and viewed Godzilla: Final Wars. I'm not sure I've mentioned it here before or not, but I'm a huge Godzilla fan. The film doesn't disappoint. Terrible acting, mediocre special effects, and a man in a rubber monster suit! What a great way to close out the weekend.

I'll try to improve the frequency with which I'm blogging but no promises. This week, T arrives in town for her visiting scholar presentation at school. STK, TLO, and I can't wait to spend three days with her. The only bummer is that her partner, J, won't be traveling with her. He has to work or something, I guess. Since the trip to Boston, we've come to realize how much we enjoy having T & J in our lives and regret not spending more time with them while we all resided in Denver. With any luck, future events will bring them closer to our little corner of the Midwest. ::crosses fingers::

Oh, and to all our Denver compatriots who still read my blog: we're thinking of making a trip back during spring break (March 25-31). After six months of small town living, I'm ready for a few days of Goth clubs, coffee houses, delicious bagels, and everything else the city has to offer.* Add in the fact that we have babysitters galore in Colorado (aka TLO's grandparents) and we're looking at a fun trip. I wish my spring break occured in April as that seems to be about the only way we'll make it to the M and N toga party on the 21st. Flying is proving too costly and I can't get away for more than a three day weekend. Seeing as the drive to SLC would entail two 12 hour days in the car, we just don't have the time. The fact we're traveling with an infant doesn't help matters, either.

*Would you believe I even miss city traffic? I had a really bizarre moment of homesickness a couple weeks back while listening to a Denver radio station via the internet. I heard the traffic report for an area I used to drive several times a week, a week with nightmarish congestion, and I really missed Colorado for the first time since leaving. This was a "Wow, I really miss Colorado" moment with the sinking feeling in the stomach and everything.

Feast On

Friday, February 24, 2006
Feast Eighty-Two

Appetizer--Choose one: moving to another state, having triplets, or never being able to eat chocolate again.
Never being able to eat chocolate again. I just moved and I'm not strong enough for that nightmarish experience anytime soon. With one little one in the house, I know I'd lose my sanity with three.

Soup--Name a news story that truly shocked you.
People Freak Out Over Dubai Port Authority Deal. Seriously, this is about as big a non-issue as one could possibly imagine. The idea that any involvement by an entity even remotely associated with a Middle Eastern nation means that security is somehow jeopardized has an obvious racial/ethnic tone. Regardless of who runs the damn place, security won't change. Port security is handled by an outside entity, not the ports themselves. Yes, folks, I'm siding with President Bush on this one. I'll give everyone a moment to lift their stunned selves off the floor before continuing the feast. ::waits patiently:: Everyone okay?

Salad--What was your very first job?
At 11 years old I started mowing lawns. I mowed several lawns, including the lawn of a senior citizens complex, on a weekly basis.

Main Course--If you had the chance to read the diary of someone you're really close to, would you? Why or why not?
Absolutely not. If a diary is private, it's private. That includes a child's diary, regardless of circumstances. Think your child is doing drugs, sleeping around, etc? Talk to them.

Dessert--What's something you're looking forward to?
Summer break. We're planning on heading back to Colorado for a couple weeks, probably in June. I need to spend some time in a city.

Conversation Realities: maitre d

Tonight was one of those "show up and act like a faculty member" nights. Our department admitted seven students into the national communication studies honor society and we held a little soirre for the students and their parents. The affair was an intimate dinner in one of the campus dining rooms (which actually serve some very above average fare--nothing like that mediocre bagel from a couple days back) and, as faculty, we were asked to position ourselves strategically around the tables. When I arrived, the salads had already been placed on the table. I located a table devoid of any other faculty and joined a student and her parents. As I approached the table, the following conversation occured.

Mom: Excuse me, sir. My husband is allergic to almonds. Could we possibly get a salad that doesn't have almonds?
Me ::glances around and realizes Mom is talking to me:: Uhhh
Student ::embarrassed:: Mom! He's a professor!
Mom ::mortified:: Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry.
Me ::laughs:: Think nothing of it.

Meh

I had an exceedingly mediocre bagel for breakfast.

Self

Having realized his own self as the Self a person becomes selfless.

-Maitrayana Upanishad

Reprinted with permission from "The Wisdom of the Hindu Gurus," edited by Timothy Freke, published by Godsfield Press.

I Can't See Him!

After 25 years of the same eye doctor, I finally had to make a change. Okay, I didn't have to make a change, but I decided the 900 mile drive to an appointment was a real killer. So, I pulled out my benefits information and chose a doc in a nearby city we frequent.

To most people this process probably isn't a big deal. You go, read a few charts, get your prescription (or not), and move on with your day. That's the way I view the dentist. Beyond an occasional cavity every five years or so, my teeth issues are virtually nonexistent. I could care less who works on my mouth, really. My eyes, however, are another story. My eyesight is terrible. We're not talking "The road signs are a little blurry," we're talking "What road signs?" Without my contacts or glasses, I can't see a damn thing. I once asked my old opthalmologist for a reference point regarding my bad eyesight. The conversation went something like this.

Doc: Can you read the letters up there?
Me: What letters?
Doc: Exactly. That's the big "E".
Me: Ugh.

I am grateful, however, that contacts (-7.50 in both eyes. w00t!) and glasses correct my vision 100%.

My visit to the new doc went okay. His various and sundry equipment didn't measure up to the supremely high tech office of Dr. Adams, but it seemed to do the trick. New Doc is a high energy, likeable fellow who appears competent. He suggested a change to one of the latest brands of contacts (lighter and more gas permeable than ever!). We got along just fine . . . with one exception. In addition to having rotten sight, my eyes are extremely sensitive to light. So sensitive, in fact, that I haven't ventured into daylight sans sunglasses in 20+ years; I even wear sunglasses on a cloudy day. Put simply: bright light hurts. Knowing the pain I experience in the presence of bright light, good Doc Adams always skipped the "let's dilate your eyes" part of the exam. Maybe it was the high tech equipment he used, but he never needed to chemically dilate my eyes when peering inside. The new Doc all but insisted on dilating my eyes. I objected originally, but relented eventually. I shouldn't have.

With my eyes dilated, Doc I'm-Going-To-Burn-Your-Eyes-Out-Of-Their- Sockets-With-This-Nova-Powered-Lamp proceeded with the exam. He focused the lamp on my left eye. Pain pierced my skull. Within seconds, the headache induced stomach churning nausea. Bleh. "The light is on the low setting," he explained. While I'm sure the exam took less than 30 seconds, it felt like several minutes. As we left the office, Doc Nova's assistant handed me a pair of those goofy plastic sunglasses. I had to wear them. At night. Headlights blurred and my head continued to ache. I closed my eyes for the hour-long trip home. Thank goodness STK came along for the ride. Arriving in our dimly lit home, I still couldn't function. SIX HOURS after the exam and even the dimmest light induced a headache and nausea. I finally gave up and went to bed.

Five days later, my eyes are back to normal. The new contacts seem to be working just fine and I'm no worse for wear. That said, I'm thinking I might schedule any future eye appointments in conjunction with a trip back to Colorado. Today, A 900 mile trip to the eye doctor doesn't seem all that ridiculous.

See This

I'm having some problems with images on another blog. Let me know if you can see this image.

Brokeback Heartbreak

STK and I finally managed to see Brokeback Mountain tonight. Believe it or not, the controversial film played at the local theater, the same theater that opted out of playing Farenheit 9/11. Given the content of Brokeback, I assumed the owners would pass on the film. My thanks to them for bringing it to our little neck of the woods. Even though it made my heart hurt, on many different levels, I adored this film. When it comes out on DVD, this will be added to our collection.

X3

Okay, so I submitted my formal request for the Battlestar Galactica DVD sets. While composing the request I thought to myself, "I wonder if I could get the school to spring for an academic version of the new WordPerfect Office Suite?* Since I'm more familiar with WP, I'm more academically productive when using that application. I write lecture notes, conference proposals, and journal articles using WordPerfect. Heck, it's worth a try." So I add the request to the DVD sets (which had already been informally approved by TPTB).

Two hours later, both expenses . . . approved. Guess what I'm ordering tomorrow?

*The tech folks at the school only support Word. I'm sorry, but I REALLY don't get what's so special about Word. I've been using WordPerfect since 1992 and find it a far better word processor application. The "reveal codes" function itself makes WP a superior product. I have to use Word on an almost daily basis and it's far more difficult to make formatting adjustments. Wordperfect rules!

Huh?

Just before retiring around 5 AM this morning,* I checked CNN.com and discovered the following headline.

Games open with flaming Rollerbladers

Flaming rollerbladers? That just cracked me up. An image of several of my gay friends, in drag, rollerblading through the opening ceremonies immediately came to mind. I'll have to share that image the next time I see them.

*Ssee what happens when I'm left to my own devices? No STK and TLO and I immediately revert back nocturnal living.

All Quiet on the Midwestern Front

Silence. Now there's something I haven't experienced in quite a while. The last two days, however, have been exceedingly silent. Why? Thanks to the generosity of a family member who purchased an airline ticket, STK and TLO flew back to Denver for a long weekend. I talked to STK for an hour or two late last night and it sounds like they're having a wonderful trip; Almost every second of every day has been scheduled chock full of friends and family. STK said TLO was his usual champ of a travelling partner--he charmed anyone with eye contact on the plane, apparently.

While STK and TLO have been catching up with friends and family, I've been in full academic mode. The deadline for NCA 2006 submissions is on Wednesday and several of us have been trying to pull together a panel submission regarding rhetoric and the intersection of virtual/"real" identity. I spent the better part of last night and this morning writing the formal proposal and sent it off this afternoon for feedback and proofreading. Provided the rewrites aren't too substantial, I plan on submitting the final version tomorrow night. As I've already been asked to participate on another panel regarding science fiction television, I could have two different obligations at the convention. Here's the absract for my contribution to the science fiction television panel.

We are All Cylons: Battlestar Galactica and Fandom’s Fitting Response.

This essay positions Ron Moore’s contemporary reconceptualization of Battlestar Galactica as part of an on-going public dialogue concerning ethics and human rights. Touching on such thought-provoking issues as terrorism, torture, and rape, Battlestar Galactica offers a dialogic hail that requires a fitting response. Message board posts provide an opportunity to examine the way in which fans acknowledge the hail and participate in the dynamic moment of communal discernment

As luck would have it, I also discovered the following call.

A Long-Time Ago . . . : Modern Mythology in the New Millennium
Call for Chapters
Deadline: April 1, 2006
Featured as an NCA Town-Hall forum in 2004, this collection seeks to bring together scholars and cultural critics from the fields of rhetoric, media, cultural studies, and communication studies, among others, to examine science fiction and/or modern fantasy texts from mythic and rhetorical perspectives. Applications of methodology to science fiction and/or fantasy literature, film, and texts (with the goal of contributing to communication theory and practice) are especially encouraged. Chapters could feature an application of methods (including but not limited to feminist, ideological, metaphoric, narrative, generative) to a wide variety of texts (Orwell’s 1984; Lewis’ Narnia; Lucas’ Star Wars galaxy; Star Trek; Stargate; Battlestar Galactica; etc). Proposals should include (1) title page with contact information for authors, (2) biographical page (a brief biographical statement for all authors), (3) a proposal (maximum of 5 pages excluding references) following the current APA Publication Manual. Final chapters will be limited to 30 pages. First drafts of chapters selected for inclusion must be submitted by August 30th, 2006.

I believe I'll pull together a proposal and submit my NCA paper as a book chapter, too. Heck, if I get selected I'll have to write the paper by August 30, a full three months before the convention. I've already checked with The Powers That Be at school and they've given me the green light to use some of my faculty research funds to purchase the DVDs of the first two seasons of Battlestar Galactica. I love my job.

Tomorrow morning I'll probably join our Unitarian Universalist friends for a bit of spiritual centering. It will be weird to attend without STK and TLO. In fact, the last three days have been very weird without their respective presences. Everything seems just a little off. Have I mentioned how quiet it's been?

Bush Sucks

Just so people don't think I'm growing soft in my old age, I still think the President and his cronies are the most unethical bunch of pretenders to ever reign in the White House. The latest bit of appalling chicanery occured during the State of the Union address. Cindy Sheehan, the well known peace protestor, was arrested for wearing a t-shirt reading, "2245 Dead. How many more?" An excellent question, don't you think? She wasn't raising a ruckus, she wasn't shouting down the President. To make a long story short, she was arrested and removed from the premises. Unclaimed Territory-By Glen Greenwald has an excellent discussion of the entire affair.

2245 Dead. How many more?

I love his point about confusing dissent and protest. When did it become illegal to voice a differing opinion in this country? Oh, I'd say it happened about the time "the people" elected a leader who can't handle and respond to criticism. As Greenwald's article points out, the Bush folks go to great lengths, legal and otherwise, to keep protestors clear of the President.

Miracle of Mindfulness

I like to walk alone on country paths, rice plants and wild grasses on both sides, putting each foot down on the earth in mindfulness, knowing that I walk on the wondrous earth. In such moments, existence is a miraculous and mysterious reality.

People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child--our own two eyes. All is a miracle.

-Thich Nhat Hanh, "Miracle of Mindfulness"

I've kind of been in that "bleh" place the last couple days. I needed this reminder, as well as that of a friend who recommended I do some meditation, to clear my head. Life is good when you keep it simple.

Feastorama

Appetizer--On a scale of 1 to 10 (10=highest), how sociable are you?
6 or 7. That said, most people would probably rate me a 9 or even 10. I can REALLY turn on the charm when necessary.

Soup--Name 3 DVDs you currently own.
The Station Agent
Clone Wars Animated I/II
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

Salad--If you were to win a superlative award now (such as most talented, class clown, most likely to succeed), what would it be?
The Geek Cool Award.

Main Course--What is your favorite radio station?
Radio? What's that? Okay, I'll pick KKFN out of Denver. They provide the Nuggets radio broadcasts, which I have to PAY to access thru NBA.com.

Dessert--Complete this sentence: I believe __________ because __________.
I believe we're not alone in the universe because Carl Sagan said so.

The Feast

I should be in bed. With the funky January semester coming to a close on Thursday and the spring semester starting on Wednesday, and my significant underestimation regarding the time it would take to pull together a couple new class, I've been going to bed between 3:30-4 AM. That's late, even for me. There was a time when going to bed between 5-6 AM wasn't unusual, but I have places to be these days. Ah, well. It all comes out in the wash, eh? I'll catch up on sleep this weekend.

Check out the new look Friday's Feast. Snazzy.

January 27, 2006

Appetizer--Choose one: Popcorn, Pizza, Pretzels, Peanuts, or Pasta.
Rold Gold Tiny Twist Cheese pretzels to be precise. I eat some kind of pretzel--regular, cheese, or honey mustard--almost every day.

Soup--Describe your personality in terms of a particular vehicle.
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Reliable auto with quirks in all the right places!

Salad--If you won a shopping spree, from which store would you want it to be?
Computer Microcenter. I need some new gear.

Main Course--Which television show re-runs do you enjoy watching?
DS9, STTNG, Farscape, Firefly, M*A*S*H* (Henry Blake era is exceptional; Potter era is still excellent), Dick Van Dyke Show, Gilligan's Island, Cheers.

Dessert--If you could look into the future, how far down the road would you like to see? 10 years? 100 years? A million?
100 years. If humanity makes it through this century, I'm hoping we have a chance.

Tech Geeks Needed

We have a friend who needs a web design application, preferably open source or freeware. I'm completey out-of-the-loop when it comes to web design goodies. Any ideas? What application would you purchase if you decided to spend a bit of $$$? I'll forward any and all suggestions his way.

Oddities

Last weekend, while feeding TLO and channel surfing, I stumbled across Shakespeare In Love. I adore that movie! It's easily in my Top Ten Favorite Movies list, possibly in the top five. I watched the last 20 minutes or so while TLO finished a bottle quite leisurely. A couple hours later, TLO was playing in his exersaucer when I noticed a DVD on the floor. We placed the exersaucer too close to the DVD storage space and TLO snagged one off the shelf. We're still learning this whole parenting thing--we're amazed by a baby's ability to snag almost anything from anywhere. Mr Fantastic would be proud. Of the several dozen DVDs within reach, guess which one he pulled off the shelf? If you said Shakespeare in Love, give yourself a No Prize. A little too weird, don't you think?

STK and I have a new DVD obsession: Farscape! How did I manage to miss this series the first time around? Thank the Maker for Netflix. We're working our way through season two and loving every episode.

Remember the wicked cold I groaned about in December? While we're not in the balmy range like Colorado, the average temperature for January has been 15 degrees above normal. How about a blistering 33 degrees rather than 18? Tonight, we bundled up TLO and went for a one hour evening walk. If it's above 28, we're taking advantage of the "nice" weather.

The Denver Nuggets have won seven games in a row. Unbelievable. I'd given up hope of anything more than a .500 season, which isn't really all that bad considering the atrocious records posted by the Nuggets throughout the 90s and early 00s.

Krispy Kreme Sucks

I'm not big on doughnuts. What's so great about a deep fried ball of dough? Ick. If I lived in Portland, however, I think I'd have to rethink my doughnut apathy.

VoodooDoughnut

Is that a Captain Crunchberry doughnut on the menu? Now THAT'S doughnut heaven. I think I'll pass on the I'm-getting-a-stomach-ache-just- from-looking-at-it bacon doughnut ::gags::

The Feast!

Friday's Feast, January 20, 2006

Appetizer--About how many times per day do you check your email?
183. I'm not kidding. I keep my email application running from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed. If I'm near a computer, the email is being checked. Oddly enough, about 90 percent of my email is work related. I get very little personal email.

Soup--If you had the money to collect something really valuable, what would it be?
Comic books, comic books, and more comic books. I'd collect every comic published by Marvel & DC.

Salad--Write a sentence using the letters of your favorite beverage. (Example: The egret admires.)
Can otters feel frisky every evening?

Main Course--If you could be on a game show, which one would you want it to be?
I'd say Jeopardy, but Mike and Curtis would kill me. How about The Match Game? I used to be pretty good at that when I was kid.

Dessert--Name 3 computer programs or web sites you would hate to be without.
WordPerfect.
Alvaro's Comicboards.com.
Netflix.

Nightmare

My stepson called a couple days ago. I don't write about TPO (the prodigal one) very often as our contact over the last couple years has been extremely sporadic. Lately, however, we've been talking more and more frequently and that's pretty darn cool. Anyway, TPO called to give me some significant news.

TPO: I called to tell you something.
Me: Oh, yeah? What?
TPO: I got accepted into the Air Force. I leave . . .
Me: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
TPO: I knew you'd freak out! I knew you'd think I'm making a horrible decision.
Me: ::regains composure:: Listen to me. I'm not mad. I don't think you've made a bad decision. Given the circumstances, this might be a good thing for you. I'm freaked out because I don't want anything to happen to you. I love you and can't stand the thought of you winding up in Iraq or something. That terrifies me.
TPO: Yeah, that's a possibility. I hope it doesn't happen either. I don't know what else to do and this is a way I can try and get my shit together.
Me: You've made the decision that's right for you. I'm proud of you and I love you.

The military. Fuck.

Yuck

The following quote, uttered by former CIA official Michael Scheuer, should be replayed and reprinted until every single U.S. American citizen has it memorized.

U.S. officials continue to describe these people (al Qaeda) as a small bunch of gangsters and crazy people. They have no apparent conception that so much of the Islamic world is angry with America, not because of our freedoms or liberties but because of our foreign policies.

Why is it so difficult for people to realize that our past foreign policy decisions have contributed to the current state of affairs?

Actually, I do know why. If most people can't fathom that their personal problems are at least partially a result of their own making, why on earth would they hold the government to the same level of accountability?

"My last three relationships have been a disaster. I keep hooking up with crazy people!"
Uh, you might want to consider the common denominator.

"My friends are real jerks!"
You picked well, eh?

"I'm so in debt. Damn credit card companies!"
And you just couldn't stop yourself from making those charges.

"My life sucks! I'm so unloveable!"
If you believe that, then that's your reality. Your life does suck and you're unloveable.

Now, before I come across as completely unsympathetic to the suffering of others, I acknowledge that some people do hurt others for no apparent reason and bad things do happen to good people. Still, the way we react to those events is our responsibility. It's also been my experience that there isn't a single situation in my own life when I haven't been at least partially responsible for the sad state of affairs. And I think our current foreign policy mess falls in this same category. Our country incurred the wrath of many around the globe, at least in part, as a result of irresponsible policy. Once we acknowledge that fact, we'll be on the road to discovering a real solution to the problem. Until that time, and I think it will be a cold day in Hell before anyone steps up and takes any responsibility, prepare for more of the same. Yuck.

The Late Feast

The Feast, Friday, January 13, 2006

Appetizer--Name one chore you don't really mind doing.
Shovelling snow. I used to hate it but I find I enjoy the early morning exercise. Ask me if I feel the same after we get a good blizzard.

Soup--How many times have you moved homes in your life?
Too many times to remember. 7 times with the folks and I don't know how many times as an adult. Let's hope the moving is about finished.

Salad--How old were you when you had your very first kiss?
12? 13? Somewhere in there.

Main Course--What time of day do you usually feel your best?
Between 11 PM and 3 AM.

Dessert--Using three words or less, describe your current local weather.
Clear. Brisk. Calm.

Potpourri

I tried reading Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell but only made it half way through. I'm not sure exactly what to say about the book other than that it didn't capture my attention. Maybe I'll revisit it in a few months. I'm presently reading one of the recent Star Wars novels, Dark Nest: Unseen Queen.

My science fiction/fantasy media class is going well. At the halfway point we've watched and analyzed:

The Thing From Another World
The Day the Earth Stood Still
War of the Worlds
Forbidden Planet
T2: Judgment Day
The Matrix
Ghost in the Shell
Ella Enchanted

The students seem to enjoy the class. I think I already have a title for next year's class: Kryptonite, Cowls, and Caped Crusaders: Superheroes & Superheroines as Equipment for Living. The entire class will focus on various incarnations, and the critique of, superpowered characters in television & film. Who knows, maybe I'll have them read a graphic novel, too.

Anyone who hasn't been living under a rock now knows that James Frey's substance abuse/recovery memoir, A Million Little Pieces, isn't really an authentic piece of non-fiction. Frey took a bit of artistic license and exaggerated key components in his story.* From what I've read, and I haven't spent a ton of time following this story, he spiced up a handful of his drinking stories and made his bottom look lower than it really was. If his book helps other people get and stay sober, who cares if Frey took a bit of artistic license. I sure don't. What I am concerned about is Frey's personal program of recovery. When I first started down the road to recovery, my sponsor demanded honesty. By his way of thinking, we told half-truths and lies for most of our drinking/drugging careers. When we decided to get sober, we made the decision to not only quit drinking but to start being truthful with ourselves and others. This is one of the fundamental principles of most recovery programs. Maybe Frey's program of recovery doesn't require rigorous honesty. To each their own. Still, since learning of Frey's exaggerations I've wondered how many other parts of his story he doctored. I've even asked myself, "Is he really sober?" I hope he is.

*In recovery talk, your "story" is the series of events leading up to your decision to get sober. A good story talks about a person's bottom but, more importantly, tells the tale of getting and living sober. All too often, people get wrapped up in their "drunkalog" and forget to share about staying sober. That's the important part, folks. Drinking/drugging is the easy part; getting sober and staying that way is the part that takes courage, strength, and determination.

WTF Dept: Brown Sugar?

The following email, sent to STK, is so strange I couldn't NOT post it.

I had the weirdest/funniest dream about you the other night. I dreamt that we flew out to visit you and you had this pet turkey named Brown Sugar. You took him everywhere you went. We even went to a swimming pool and you took him down the waterslide! Isn't that strange? I have NO idea why I dreamt that....

A turkey named Brown Sugar going down a waterslide? WTF?

Conversation Realities: Pants!

Me: I like those pants.*
Him: Thanks.
Me: Do you mind if I ask where you got them? I've been looking for pants that color?
Him: These? ::points to pants::
Me: Yes.
Him: Uh, no. My mother buys most of my clothes.**
Me: Shoot. Well, I'll keep looking!

*Corduroy pants somewhere between olive green and kelly green. A moss green, maybe?


**This is 30ish man, married and two kids. His mother buys most of his clothes? Granted, my folks drop an item of clothing my way a couple times a year but its usually something simple like a flannel shirt or thermal underwear. Oh, and my mother is awesome about always including a gift receipt. My family is under strict order to not attempt to buy any everyday work or non-work clothes for me. Why the hell doesn't he know where his mom got those pants. I REALLY liked the color and style.

King of the Feasts

I haven't participated in Friday's Feast for a bit and thought I'd get back in the groove.

Appetizer--Have you ever seen a ghost or an angel?
I'm not sure. I've seen/heard some odd things happen that don't appear to have a direct explanation, the mysterious closing door in our new place comes to mind, but I've never observed anything directly. I'd love run into a ghost someday.

Soup--What is your favorite board game?
Although I haven't played in years, I've always been a big fan of Axis and Allies.

Salad--What was the last movie you saw that made you cry?
King Kong. I'm a sucker for the big ape.

Main Course--What would you do if you had 3 months off from your job?
The same thing I do every summer. Stay up late, sleep late, and do a lot of fun reading.

Dessert--What kind of shoes are you wearing today?
Doc Marten combat boots, of course.

You Say You Want a Resolution

It's January 2 and the blogosphere is filled with all sorts of "resolution" posts. Over the years, I've never been one to make New Year's resolutions. After making a couple during my 20s, and learning how quickly I'm willing to throw that kind of thing to the side, I stopped the madness. I made a resolution, caved after a couple days, and felt guilty for caving. Ish. So, I made a resolution to never make another resolution and I've managed to stay true to my word.

While I haven't rescinded my resolution to not make resolutions, I am trying to make some minor adjustments in my life. Since the great move of 2005, STK and I haven't made much of an effort to establish a new circle of friends. We really liked the group of people we left in Denver (and Utah, and Alabama, and Michigan) and manage to stay in touch with most, mainly through phone, email, and blogs. Thank The Maker for unlimited long distance and the internets. Still, we both understand the need to develop a local cohort. Easier said than done, right? A month ago, we re-established contact with the Unitarian Universalists. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that in another post. A couple days ago we enjoyed another Sunday morning with the local UUAers. The group meets every other Sunday--it's a small congregation of 40 or so regular attendees. I suspect this group of spiritually minded, socially conscious folk might work their way into our regular routine. Actually, they seem to have taken to us (especially TLO) and have already welcomed us into their fold.

We also reached out to another spiritual community on Sunday afternoon. Thanks to a contact at work, STK suggested we visit a local Buddhist monastery. We live in a very isolated part of the midwest; the closest city of more than 8500 folks is 60 miles away. Imagine our suprise when we discovered a new Buddhist monastery less than 20 minutes from our home. The monastery started the New Year with an open house and invited any and all to stop by for an informal tour and refreshments. We arrived about a 1/2 hour before the end of the open house and received a personal tour from the attending monk. TLO was absolutely fascinated by the altar, milled from trees removed from the monastery's site, and wouldn't allow anyone to distract him from gazing at the Buddha. He stared, and stared, and stared. When it was time to leave the monastery and retreat to the on-site farmhouse for refreshments, STK and I started the complicated task of passing TLO back and forth as we tried to put on our shoes (shoes are always removed when entering a Buddhist holy space). The monk gently lifted TLO from our arms and talked to him quietyly as the two glided about the monastery shutting off lights and locking doors. TLO loved the attention and his parents loved the fact that he experienced the calm, peaceful presence of a spiritual leader. Open meditation practice occurs at the monastery every Thursday night; STK and I talked about arranging for a regular sitter every Thursday. We'll see if we're able to pull that off.

Later this week the local co-op holds its monthly potluck. The members of the co-op gather, share food, and affirm the uniqueness of the cooperative community. Several people have mentioned we should attend. What better place to meet a few freaks and geeks, eh?

I've also discovered a new AA meeting, a meeting that seems to focus more on the solution than the problem. That's always a potential issue with recovery groups. All too often, the group becomes about wallowing in the misery of not drinking or the wreckage incurred from heavy drinking. Been there, done that. Once you've been sober for a while, you learn that not drinking is wonderful thing; there's little misery to be had in that regard. AA meetings are supposed to focus on the steps of recovery, on the way to stay sober, repair the mess created by alcoholism, and learn a new way of living life. Discussion of specific problems ("My wife hates me!") should occur outside the group meeting context. My first sponsor used to refer to this as the meeting after the meeting. Anyway, personal problems should be discussed over coffee, with your sponsor, etc. I was thrilled to see this particular meeting emphasize the 12 steps, the 12 traditions, and the solution. When someone started drifting into personal problems, they were gently reminded to take these issues to a sponsor. As it's a weekly meeting, I'm going to try and make this a regular part of my routine. While I stay in touch with people in recovery via phone and email, it's probably a good idea to make some local contacts. And, to be honest, I had two with significant sobriety remind me that I need to give back what was so freely given to me. Unfortunately, people with my length of sobriety aren't all that common. By simply attending meetings and sharing my experience, strength, and hope, I'm helping others see that long term sobriety is possible. Who knows, mabye someone will ask me to be their sponsor. I haven't done that kind of recovery work in quite some time.

As if all these other attempts to broaden our contacts weren't enough, STK received a call earlier today from a couple just a couple doors down who have an infant a month younger than TLO. So, STK and TLO journeyed down the street for a play date. I'm in an academic reading group with the Dad, another professor at my school, and Mom is a former high school teacher. I think they're roughly our age, too. See any parallels? How funny is that? It turns out the couple also like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and want to check out Firefly and Serenity. STK are going to invite them over for an introduction to the expanded worlds of The Whedonverse. Everyone on the planet should bow before the brilliance of Joss Whedon. All your base are belong to us.

We turn our energy toward meeting new people and what do we get? A full social calendar. Imagine that.

2006

First, my fundamental belief is that human nature lies in gentleness. Human nature is compassionate, is affectionate. Therefore using violence is against human nature. Secondly, because of this factor, violence creates a lot of hurt in the human mind.

The Dalai Lama

Happy New Year, everyone. May your 2006 be filled with gentleness, compassion, and affection.