I Can't See Him!

After 25 years of the same eye doctor, I finally had to make a change. Okay, I didn't have to make a change, but I decided the 900 mile drive to an appointment was a real killer. So, I pulled out my benefits information and chose a doc in a nearby city we frequent.

To most people this process probably isn't a big deal. You go, read a few charts, get your prescription (or not), and move on with your day. That's the way I view the dentist. Beyond an occasional cavity every five years or so, my teeth issues are virtually nonexistent. I could care less who works on my mouth, really. My eyes, however, are another story. My eyesight is terrible. We're not talking "The road signs are a little blurry," we're talking "What road signs?" Without my contacts or glasses, I can't see a damn thing. I once asked my old opthalmologist for a reference point regarding my bad eyesight. The conversation went something like this.

Doc: Can you read the letters up there?
Me: What letters?
Doc: Exactly. That's the big "E".
Me: Ugh.

I am grateful, however, that contacts (-7.50 in both eyes. w00t!) and glasses correct my vision 100%.

My visit to the new doc went okay. His various and sundry equipment didn't measure up to the supremely high tech office of Dr. Adams, but it seemed to do the trick. New Doc is a high energy, likeable fellow who appears competent. He suggested a change to one of the latest brands of contacts (lighter and more gas permeable than ever!). We got along just fine . . . with one exception. In addition to having rotten sight, my eyes are extremely sensitive to light. So sensitive, in fact, that I haven't ventured into daylight sans sunglasses in 20+ years; I even wear sunglasses on a cloudy day. Put simply: bright light hurts. Knowing the pain I experience in the presence of bright light, good Doc Adams always skipped the "let's dilate your eyes" part of the exam. Maybe it was the high tech equipment he used, but he never needed to chemically dilate my eyes when peering inside. The new Doc all but insisted on dilating my eyes. I objected originally, but relented eventually. I shouldn't have.

With my eyes dilated, Doc I'm-Going-To-Burn-Your-Eyes-Out-Of-Their- Sockets-With-This-Nova-Powered-Lamp proceeded with the exam. He focused the lamp on my left eye. Pain pierced my skull. Within seconds, the headache induced stomach churning nausea. Bleh. "The light is on the low setting," he explained. While I'm sure the exam took less than 30 seconds, it felt like several minutes. As we left the office, Doc Nova's assistant handed me a pair of those goofy plastic sunglasses. I had to wear them. At night. Headlights blurred and my head continued to ache. I closed my eyes for the hour-long trip home. Thank goodness STK came along for the ride. Arriving in our dimly lit home, I still couldn't function. SIX HOURS after the exam and even the dimmest light induced a headache and nausea. I finally gave up and went to bed.

Five days later, my eyes are back to normal. The new contacts seem to be working just fine and I'm no worse for wear. That said, I'm thinking I might schedule any future eye appointments in conjunction with a trip back to Colorado. Today, A 900 mile trip to the eye doctor doesn't seem all that ridiculous.