Friday, April 29, 2005

Wildefeast

Appetizer--Which keys do you have on your key chain?
Condo, car, office, and storage unit. There are also a couple mystery keys that I haven't used for year. I'm afraid to remove them for fear I'll eventually discover the appropriate lock.

Soup--What is the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?
My MA degree. One evening, I decided it was time to pursue my MA. I drove to the school, talked to the graduate advisor (who advised me the deadline for application was the following day), filled out the paperwork overnight, and was accepted into the program, with a teaching assistantship, a few weeks later.

There was also the time when I dove into a hotel swimming pool wearing a suit & tie. Seeing my silliness, several people ran from the hotel bar (the bar opened directly to the pool area) and took the plunge. We exited the pool and entered the hot tub, fully clothed. Minutes later, hotel security asked that we vacate the pool area. Sad that my fun was over, I left the pool area (still soaking wet) and tromped through the ballroom searching for my friends.

Salad--Who is the best cook in your family?
Me, of course.

Main Course--If you were to write a "how-to" book, what would the title be?
Geek Cool: How to Read Comic Books, Dress Like a Jedi, and Exude Social Charisma.

Dessert--Name a recent fad you've tried.
Does watching The Apprentice count?

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Booked!

STK and I were reminding each other of upcoming obligations tonight and, after a couple minutes of trading events, we realized we have a damn busy week ahead.

  • Saturday--Help J move in the afternoon. Surprise birthday party for STK's mom in the evening.
  • Sunday--Baby Shower II (I'm not invited to this one).
  • Monday--Nuggets vs Spurs at the Pepsi Center.
  • Wednesday--Baby Shower III (thrown by STK's school colleagues).

All right in the middle of grading silly season at school (semester ends in two weeks--that means an avalanche of grading for Dr. D). Ah, at least it looks to be a fun couple of weeks!

Busted!

Just nabbed my first plagiarized paper of the semester. When will students learn that someone who has spent the last 12 years in higher education can recognize a student written paper that incorporates passages from an academic journal article? Seriously, it's like the writing equivalent of a speed bump. I'm reading student prose when WHAM! 12 dollar words abound. It's quite jarring, actually.

I take a preverse amount of pleasure from entering a "0" in the grade book.

Monday, April 25, 2005

April Showers . . .

Bring gas masks, punk and goth t-shirts, musical mobiles, and diapers. Huh? Saturday afternoon my mother, father, and sister hosted a baby shower for STK and I. The first of what looks to be four different showers, this event was attended by our way cool alternative friends, grad school colleagues, and a handful of other friends we didn't know how to classify. Almost every person invited, both women and men, attended. The entire day far exceeded my own expectations. I laughed so hard I triggered my asthma.

The highlight of the day had to be the gifts presented by our friends from the local goth scene. I should have known they'd come up with some very original, and very sorely needed, shower gifts. S & K surprised us with their own line of baby fashions. They dyed white onesies and infant shirts black, then attached a variety of punk and goth patches. We now have an assortment of baby clothes displaying such diverse acts as NIN, The Cure, the Ramones, Bauhaus, and The Sex Pistols. Too cool for school. M & C followed up with a handmade Green Lantern onesie that matches my leather jacket! Like father, like son: In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape our sight! M & C also gave us a onesie with a patch from our favorite band, theStart, a pair of red plaid punk baby bondage pants, and a "P is for Punk" t-shirt. The most unusual gift, and the one most likely to land our child in therapy, came from J. J presented me with what he called, "Derek's diaper bag." Opening the camoflage duffel, I discovered a cuddly Tigger blanket, a working gas mask, metal tongs, a turkey baster, and elbow length industrial rubber gloves. Bring on the soiled knappies! Years from now our child will reminisce on his childhood and ask, "Did Darth Vader change my diapers? I have this vague recollection of some masked guy standing above me. I still have nightmares about it today." Do we have the coolest friends or what?

We also received a number of more typical gifts from various guests. T & J gave us an awesome metallic red diaper bag dotted with iridescent dragonflies (stk loves dragonflies). My folks gave us a hand crafted changing table (courtesy of my father and his most excellente woodworking skills). A conglomerate of my family members presented the most crucial Play N Pak, and STKs familial federation presented us with a Baby Bouncer and High Chair. If TLO was to arrive today, we have all the basics ready. Way to go folks!

One shower down, three to go. Where are we going to store all this shit?

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Dance to a Different Feast

Appetizer--Name something that helps you fall asleep.
If I'm having a tough time sleeping, very little will change that. I usually get up for a couple hours, goof around on the computer, then crawl back into bed.

Soup--Who brings out the best in you?
The Army, or so their commercial says. Be all that you can be!

Salad--What do you like to do on a rainy day?
Breathe deep. I love the smell of rain.

Main Course--Complete this sentence: In our home, we never have enough...
Episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Why did that show have to end? What a travesty.

Dessert--Which shoe do you put on first?
The left, I think.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Present Action

We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. If what we are now has been the result of our own past actions, it certainly follows that whatever we wish to be in the future can be produced by our present actions; so we have to know how to act.


-Swami Vivekananda

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Forwarded to the Who Cares Department

Over the course of 24 hours, I've received several emails from students begging for a due date change on their final paper. Are you kidding? They've known about this assignment since the beginning of the semester and have had explicit directions in their hands for well over a month. It's not like this is a 10-15 page paper, either; we're talking 3-5 pages of your own opinion! There's absolutely no research involved! On top of that, I had them submit what amounts to a shortened, practice version of the paper in the form of a think piece. Yesterday, I returned the think piece with what I thought would be helpful comments they could apply to the paper that's due Thursday. In fact, there's about 1/2 page or so from the think piece that can be copied directly to the the final paper. Getting feedback on a think piece that relates to a final paper is far more than students get from most teachers. Most professors would simply have them turn in the final paper without a trial run.

Here's a message to all those students who think it's a good idea to email a teacher and ask for an extension. Had you written a draft of your paper over the weekend, as I suggested, you wouldn't be scrambling to throw something together at the last second. In the time it took you to email me, you probably could have written another paragraph of your paper. Another suggestion: telling a professor that you're writing your paper the day before it's due isn't such a good idea. While we all assume that's what you're doing, we like it when you keep that to yourself. Finally, whining doesn't get you anywhere. We've all been stressed out during the college experience. We've all waited until the last second to write that paper. The one experience we don't share is complaining directly to our professor. Had I done that to Dr. B, he would have laughed me out of school. Complain to your friends, complain to your family, and complain to your co-workers. Your professor is the last person to whom you should complain.

So, there will be no due date changes. The date has been on the syllabus since the 1st day of class. See you Thursday!

Monday, April 18, 2005

Everybody's Working On the Weekend

Whew. What a busy weekend. STK had the annual school district art show which, as always, turned out to be a smashing success. The art show involved a full day of visual, musical, and theater arts presented at one of the district high schools. Given that STK's district is comprised of 45+ schools, you can imagine the time and planning that goes into a show of this size. Well done, STK!

While STK was busy with the art show, I spent the weekend sitting in front of a HUGE stack of papers: 150 think pieces. Grading for several hours Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I wrapped everything up at about 11 PM tonight. I receive an additional 190 papers during the upcoming week ::bangs head on desk:: Thankfully, this is the last semester that will involve this kind of grading. From here on out, my grading load should be approximately 2/3 less.

STK and I also spent four hours this evening getting our condo prepped to go on the real estate market. Our agent, someone who's very familiar with this area, gave us a lengthy list of things that needed to be removed from sight before we list the place (I think our listing goes active a week from tomorrow).

1. All personal effects, including family/wedding pictures.
2. CDs. People stop to look at your CD collection rather than the condo.
3. Gargoyles. People might think we're Satanists ::rolls eyes::
4. Star Wars/Green Lantern/Teen Titan/Iron Man figures. People will stop to play with toys rather than focus on the condo.
5. Meditation space. Again, people apparently find a small meditation area kind of "freaky." As opposed to what, a Jesus shrine in your yard or house? This kind of stuff drives me nuts.

The list goes on and on, but you get the idea. The goal, from what I understand, is creating a space that's well-decorated but not personal. You want the people visiting to be able to envision their own personal touches, not yours. The end result is that we get to live in a place that doesn't feel like us. Yuck. Bring on the move and let me decorate our new home office space with action figures! Tomorrow, I need to go to our self storage company and inquire about renting another small space for 2-3 months. We're just plain out of space. If it helps move the condo faster, it'll be a good investment.

I'm nearing the bottom of my chai tea, my signal for bedtime. I'm up early tomorrow to run a few errands. I'm hoping for a couple relaxing hours tomorrow evening.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Feasts, Shoots, and Leaves

Appetizer--What was your first "real" job?
Lifeguard swimming lessons instructor at the local municipal pool.

Soup--Where would you go if you wanted to spark your creativity?
I'd sit down in my meditation space, light some incense, turn on some meditation friendly music, and clear my mind. That usually does the trick.

Salad--Complete this sentence: I am embarrassed when...
I am embarrassed. This is tough one for me. I really don't embarrass all that easily.

Main Course--What values did your parents instill in you?
The value of an education is the most obvious choice. In our house we never heard, "If you go to college" but "when you go to college."

Dessert--Name 3 fads from your teenage years.
Acid washed denim (yuck!), mullets, side pony tails (I still think these are cute).

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

The Responsible Self

We are responsible for what we are, and whatever we wish ourselves to be, we have the power to make ourselves. If what we are now has been the result of our own past actions, it certainly follows that whatever we wish to be in the future can be produced by our present actions; so we have to know how to act.

-Swami Vivekananda

Monday, April 11, 2005

The Apprentice: Hoosegow Edition!

I'm not much for reality television. In fact, I think most reality television sucks. Still, I've managed to get seduced to the dark side by a couple of reality series: Blowout, Project Runway, and The Apprentice. The Apprentice, which is in its 3rd incarnation, has grown increasingly tedious. I loved the first season, enjoyed the 2nd, and find myself annoyed by the 3rd. While there have always been irritating individuals among the cast, there seems to be an abundance in this group.

Since the beginning of the 3rd season, I've disliked one "candidate" more than any of the others. I give you Chris, the biggest asshole to ever grace the halls of Trump Towers. I'm not kidding. I think this guy is the most abrasive, rude, foul-mouthed, and hot-tempered person I may have ever encountered. Thankfully, I only know him from television. If I met him in person, I'd probably be rethinking my commitment to non-violence within minutes of our initial encounter. The guy regularly screams at colleagues, blows up in the boardroom, and carries himself with a total lack of class. His greatest television moment came when the weekly task required him to dress up as a clown and work with kids. The loser put a "dip" of tobacco in--dip is right--before interacting kids. Hey, everyone loves a clown with brown spittle! The guy chewed tobacco while working with little kids and Trump didn't fire him. Trump ripped him a new one but DID. NOT. FIRE. HIM. I'm not sure how Trump ignored my exhortations to "Fire that fucking loser!"--which I'm sure he could hear all the way in New York City--but he tuned me out. Bastard.

Imagine my anguish when I fired up Firefox this evening and the loser's mug appeared on CNN.com.

Apprentice Chris Arrested.

He was apparently being too loud and abrasive in a hotel lobby. When asked to quiet down, he refused. According to a police officer, "He was loud and he just wouldn't calm down." The poster boy for anger management wouldn't calm down? Imagine that. I hope he had that dip in because I doubt they allow tobacco products in the local detention center.

Justice is served.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Snow Day!

Just when you think winter has left Colorado for good, a little snow rolls into town. I was running outside sans shirt on Saturday afternoon; today, I'm mucking through slush wrapped in the cold-resistent layers of long underwear, fleece jacket, scarf, hat, and bulky pea coat. Okay, a little snow is a gross understatement; area meteorologists are reporting anywhere from 10-20 inches of the white stuff. Schools throughout the city have cancelled class and that means STK has an unexpected day off tomorrow! We were talking earlier this evening about a blizzard a couple years back that resulted in three consecutive snow days and she said, "Remember how excited we'd get as kids when we found out about a snow day? I get that same excitement as an adult." Even though we've checked the school district website and confirmed school is cancelled tomorrow, she keeps checking all the various school closure listings.

The fact that this storm brought the entire city to a halt is kind of silly. While people were freaking out about horrible road conditions, I dug out my faithful little 1995 Honda Civic and STK and I managed to run several errands AND drive across town to meet some friends for dinner. Who needs an SUV when you have my car? Actually, my car is fantastic in snow. I'm not sure why, but my car cruises through icky road conditions with the greatest of ease. Some would say it's the tires, the front wheel drive, or maybe a combination of both. Personally, I think it's the outstanding driver behind the wheel.

Let is snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Friday, April 08, 2005

Superfeast

Appetizer - What is a symbol that inspires you?

A triskele.
Having had several "rebirths" in my life, a symbol for life, death, and rebirth resonates with me. When I see a triskele, it reminds me that life is always in a constant state of change.

Soup - Name something (either serious or funny) that has happened in your life that you would consider a miracle.

I'm sober.

Salad - How do you handle criticism?

Who is it from? For the most part, I think I handle criticism fairly well. No matter the source, criticism usually stings a little. I'm adept at keeping my reactions hidden, however; I might be disappointed on the inside, but I won't allow that emotion to show.

Main Course - Complete this sentence: I feel alone when...

I'm in a crowd of people.

Dessert - Name one TV show you wouldn't want to be caught dead watching.

Extreme Makeover. The message behind this program, that people should undergo extensive plastic surgery to feel better about themselves, is the most deplorable message presently put forth by television.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Sacred Happiness

I ran across this earlier today and really like it.

May all be free from sorrow,
and the causes of sorrow,
May all never be separated
from the sacred happiness
which is sorrowless.

-Buddhist prayer

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Fell Feast

Appetizer - Describe your week in one word.

Mundane.

Soup - Tell about a funny practical joke that you've played on someone (or that was played on you!).

I'm not really much of a practical joker, but I tried to reach my folks yesterday to tell them STK had gone into laber two months early. They weren't home. Drat. That would have been a good one.

Salad - Name someone you had a crush on when you were a kid.

Jody Godwin. As elementary school goes, she was way out of my league.

Main Course - If you were a member of royalty, what would your title be?

Royalty? Who needs royalty? I'm a doctor! That title is enough for me.

Dessert - What colors are the clothes you are wearing today?

Black t-shirt, blue denim, and black Chuck Taylors.