That Marvelous Mr. Monk
If you don't watch the USA Network's Monk, start immediately. I've watched this series from the start and I think it's one of the few television shows worth watching.
Friday, January 30, 2004
Friends Don't Let Friends Post Drunk
This is too funny NOT to post. The source and poster shall remain safely anonymous.
Alcoho,l is so fucking great. I mean ,really. I'm all brokenhearted and shizznitty too like our man *****,, only this chickie, not the same same chickie mentoined above, is probably wayt less deserving than his. But anyway, back to alcohol. I went happy houring right after work because the alternatve (not going to haopy hour) didn't sound so fucking greaZt. Two numbers that I have no fuckjing intention of calling, many ass clowns beat down at the foosball table, and I even got to subject some drunmk hippies to some really pointless stories that they were way too involved in, probably cause they smoke ditch weed and that shit just really messes with your contextual sensory receptor thingies. Shit, I think I was making ha;lf the shit up but maybve I wasn't. Does it matter? The question is so fucking moot, because the trick is too make sure you drink enough to get home, pet your dog, and then pass out happylike. Well, right after I butcher a couple songs on geetar and wake my yuppie fuck neighbors. So to summarize...the aerosmith thing was a jojke dammit, and ****, and make sure you drink enough that you can't use a phone. Phones suck and are a sure way to misery. SO are microwaves and reality tv but that's a converation for later. But they are kinda the same.
Don't drink and post. Ever.
This is too funny NOT to post. The source and poster shall remain safely anonymous.
Alcoho,l is so fucking great. I mean ,really. I'm all brokenhearted and shizznitty too like our man *****,, only this chickie, not the same same chickie mentoined above, is probably wayt less deserving than his. But anyway, back to alcohol. I went happy houring right after work because the alternatve (not going to haopy hour) didn't sound so fucking greaZt. Two numbers that I have no fuckjing intention of calling, many ass clowns beat down at the foosball table, and I even got to subject some drunmk hippies to some really pointless stories that they were way too involved in, probably cause they smoke ditch weed and that shit just really messes with your contextual sensory receptor thingies. Shit, I think I was making ha;lf the shit up but maybve I wasn't. Does it matter? The question is so fucking moot, because the trick is too make sure you drink enough to get home, pet your dog, and then pass out happylike. Well, right after I butcher a couple songs on geetar and wake my yuppie fuck neighbors. So to summarize...the aerosmith thing was a jojke dammit, and ****, and make sure you drink enough that you can't use a phone. Phones suck and are a sure way to misery. SO are microwaves and reality tv but that's a converation for later. But they are kinda the same.
Don't drink and post. Ever.
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
When overused, terms of endearment such as "precious" lose their meaning
There's a lot of sensible advice in this article. If nothing else, the author offers a unique list of observations about the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
LOTR Dating Manual
There's a lot of sensible advice in this article. If nothing else, the author offers a unique list of observations about the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
LOTR Dating Manual
Monday, January 26, 2004
tergiversation
Word of the Day for Tuesday January 13, 2004
tergiversation \tuhr-jiv-uhr-SAY-shuhn\, noun:
1. The act of practicing evasion or of being deliberately
ambiguous.
2. The act of abandoning a party or cause.
No doubt if I worked on it, I could evolve some kind of
double-talk that would get around the offensive phrase, and
make the, to me, face-saving implication; but to hell with
that, I have too much respect for the English language, and
for your understanding of it, to go in for tergiversation
and weasely circumlocution.
--Richard Gillman, "Standing Up to Ezra Pound," [1]New York
Times, August 25, 1991
Like most writers, I have always championed thrift....
Not long ago, however, I experienced an extraordinary
tergiversation. Now I'm an ally of excess, a proponent of
redundancy.
--Michael Norman, "When an Author's Words Are Sold by the
Pound," [2]New York Times, September 15, 1991
_________________________________________________________
Tergiversation comes from Latin tergiversatus, past participle
of tergiversari, "to turn one's back, to shift," from tergum,
"back" + versare, frequentative of vertere, "to turn." The
verb form is tergiversate.
Wordoftheday
Word of the Day for Tuesday January 13, 2004
tergiversation \tuhr-jiv-uhr-SAY-shuhn\, noun:
1. The act of practicing evasion or of being deliberately
ambiguous.
2. The act of abandoning a party or cause.
No doubt if I worked on it, I could evolve some kind of
double-talk that would get around the offensive phrase, and
make the, to me, face-saving implication; but to hell with
that, I have too much respect for the English language, and
for your understanding of it, to go in for tergiversation
and weasely circumlocution.
--Richard Gillman, "Standing Up to Ezra Pound," [1]New York
Times, August 25, 1991
Like most writers, I have always championed thrift....
Not long ago, however, I experienced an extraordinary
tergiversation. Now I'm an ally of excess, a proponent of
redundancy.
--Michael Norman, "When an Author's Words Are Sold by the
Pound," [2]New York Times, September 15, 1991
_________________________________________________________
Tergiversation comes from Latin tergiversatus, past participle
of tergiversari, "to turn one's back, to shift," from tergum,
"back" + versare, frequentative of vertere, "to turn." The
verb form is tergiversate.
Wordoftheday
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Mars: Take Two
Opportunity, the second of two rovers sent to Mars, has now landed and a steam of pictures have already been sent back to Earth.
Opportunity Pics
I'm particularly intrigued by the pictures that depict the soil disturbance, presumably from airbag bounce and retraction. What is going on with the soil? Is it just me or does it look muddy? As Mars is a desert planet, mud probably isn't the right call. Good thing I'm not a geologist.
Opportunity, the second of two rovers sent to Mars, has now landed and a steam of pictures have already been sent back to Earth.
Opportunity Pics
I'm particularly intrigued by the pictures that depict the soil disturbance, presumably from airbag bounce and retraction. What is going on with the soil? Is it just me or does it look muddy? As Mars is a desert planet, mud probably isn't the right call. Good thing I'm not a geologist.
Saturday, January 24, 2004
John Kerry: Member of the Intergalactic Banking Clan
This seals the deal. Anyone who appears in a Star Wars movie gets my vote.
Senator Kerry as San Hill
This seals the deal. Anyone who appears in a Star Wars movie gets my vote.
Senator Kerry as San Hill
Friday, January 23, 2004
Farewell, Captain
Captain Kangaroo died today. One of my earliest memories revolves around my attempts to get a coat out of a closet. Captain Kangaroo was on a TV playing in the background. I kept jumping up, trying to dislodge the coat from the hanger. All the while, Captain Kangaroo was shouting, "help!" His shouts of help led to an increased level of frustration. Damn right I needed help. I was a 2-year-old trying to get my coat out of the closet!
Rest well, Captain.
Captain Kangaroo died today. One of my earliest memories revolves around my attempts to get a coat out of a closet. Captain Kangaroo was on a TV playing in the background. I kept jumping up, trying to dislodge the coat from the hanger. All the while, Captain Kangaroo was shouting, "help!" His shouts of help led to an increased level of frustration. Damn right I needed help. I was a 2-year-old trying to get my coat out of the closet!
Rest well, Captain.
Random Conversation: Impeccable Shoes
Stranger: You have impeccable taste in footwear.
Me: Thank you.
The impeccable shoes are the black and white wingtips (5 Eyelet B/W Wing Tip X). Oddly enough, comments about my dress happen on an almost daily basis (five of seven days, probably). Kathleen says it's one of the oddest things she's seen. People will walk across a parking lot to stop me, holler across a street, or offer a drive-by comment as I'm passing by. The most common comment, by far: "Is that the Green Lantern symobl on the back of your jacket? Cool. How did you do that?" Second most common comment: "Cool hair."
I don't know what it is, but random comments just seem to come my way. Strangers must find me approachable or something. Here are two odd conversations from the last couple weeks. The first happend at our local recreation center, the second in a movie theater restroom.
Scene I
::I'm laying on the floor doing ab crunches with my eyes closed::
Stranger: Hey!
Derek (startled, my eyes open): What?!
Stranger: Are you exercising or sleeping down there?
Derek (responds while crunching): Uh, exercising?
Stranger: Keep up the good work!
Derek (still crunching): Uh, okay.
Stranger (gives thumbs up).
Scene II
::I'm standing at a urinal, a stranger stands to my right::
Stranger (turns to look at me): Man, I could give a shit about the Lord of the Rings! For the last 20 minutes of that movie, all I could think about was the Lord of the Porcelain.
Me: Uh, yeah. That's a long movie. Good, though.
Stranger: Woooeeeh!
Me (scurries away as quickly as possible).
I really have no idea why these things happen to me. Regardless, I find the incidents more than a little amusing.
Stranger: You have impeccable taste in footwear.
Me: Thank you.
The impeccable shoes are the black and white wingtips (5 Eyelet B/W Wing Tip X). Oddly enough, comments about my dress happen on an almost daily basis (five of seven days, probably). Kathleen says it's one of the oddest things she's seen. People will walk across a parking lot to stop me, holler across a street, or offer a drive-by comment as I'm passing by. The most common comment, by far: "Is that the Green Lantern symobl on the back of your jacket? Cool. How did you do that?" Second most common comment: "Cool hair."
I don't know what it is, but random comments just seem to come my way. Strangers must find me approachable or something. Here are two odd conversations from the last couple weeks. The first happend at our local recreation center, the second in a movie theater restroom.
Scene I
::I'm laying on the floor doing ab crunches with my eyes closed::
Stranger: Hey!
Derek (startled, my eyes open): What?!
Stranger: Are you exercising or sleeping down there?
Derek (responds while crunching): Uh, exercising?
Stranger: Keep up the good work!
Derek (still crunching): Uh, okay.
Stranger (gives thumbs up).
Scene II
::I'm standing at a urinal, a stranger stands to my right::
Stranger (turns to look at me): Man, I could give a shit about the Lord of the Rings! For the last 20 minutes of that movie, all I could think about was the Lord of the Porcelain.
Me: Uh, yeah. That's a long movie. Good, though.
Stranger: Woooeeeh!
Me (scurries away as quickly as possible).
I really have no idea why these things happen to me. Regardless, I find the incidents more than a little amusing.
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Geek Alert: The Importance of Being Gollum
Andy Serkis, the actor who provided the voice and basic motions for Gollum, has pulled 18 months worth of journal entries and published a book on the LOTR film experience.
Question: How exciting or interesting can a book about MAKING a film really be? I'm a HUGE Star Wars fan, but I've never read a book on the making of the movies. In fact, I think reading such a book would take away some of the magic of the movies. Give me the finished product. Thanks.
BTW--16 months prior to the release of SW: Episode III and I'm still spoiler free.
Andy Serkis, the actor who provided the voice and basic motions for Gollum, has pulled 18 months worth of journal entries and published a book on the LOTR film experience.
Question: How exciting or interesting can a book about MAKING a film really be? I'm a HUGE Star Wars fan, but I've never read a book on the making of the movies. In fact, I think reading such a book would take away some of the magic of the movies. Give me the finished product. Thanks.
BTW--16 months prior to the release of SW: Episode III and I'm still spoiler free.
My I have some lime pork skin, cattle bones, and cattle hide product, please?
How many people know what's REALLY in Jello? This always comes up around the holidays when I have to explain that, as a vegetarian, I don't eat Jello. Actually, I didn't like Jello before I decided to avoid meat. There's something about it that just never worked for me.
How many people know what's REALLY in Jello? This always comes up around the holidays when I have to explain that, as a vegetarian, I don't eat Jello. Actually, I didn't like Jello before I decided to avoid meat. There's something about it that just never worked for me.
a guide to integrating yourself into the visigoth scene, for normals and nongoths
Check out Gene's Guide to the Visigoth Scene. I'm going out to procure some cured hide armor later this afternoon. I'm thinking a visigoth research project may be in order.
Check out Gene's Guide to the Visigoth Scene. I'm going out to procure some cured hide armor later this afternoon. I'm thinking a visigoth research project may be in order.
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Roosevelt High School
My former high school is featured in today's Denver Post. You'll notice that much of the article focuses on sports, particularly wrestling. Unfortunately, that's an accurate reflection of the value system in Johnstown, Colorado. If you weren't into sports, you were pretty low on the pecking order.
Roosevelt High School
Just to clarify: high school sucked.
My former high school is featured in today's Denver Post. You'll notice that much of the article focuses on sports, particularly wrestling. Unfortunately, that's an accurate reflection of the value system in Johnstown, Colorado. If you weren't into sports, you were pretty low on the pecking order.
Roosevelt High School
Just to clarify: high school sucked.
Saturday, January 17, 2004
A Guide To Integrating Yourself Into The Denver Goth Scene, For Normals and Nongoths
This piece appeared on the local Colorado Goth email list. Very amusing and right on the money.
As a long time member of the Denver Gothic Community (Goth Scene or
"The Scene"is sufficient for conversations between members of said group,
while "Gothic Community" is reserved for organizing public events,
interacting with the media, and flyers for bake sales) I have noticed a curious
phenomena.While most members of our subculture first began to identify
with it in High School or College, with some particularly precocious
individuals pointing out that they first starting writing bad poetry about
loneliness and graveyards in elementary school, there is a small but steady influx
of adults that "Get Turned" or "Go Goth". This can be observed at Onyx or
The Church, where careful observation will reveal, on occasion, a face you
have never seen before, dressed in unconscionably nongoth attire, looking
around fascinatedly with a kind of bewildered but thoughtful expression on
their face, only to appear the next week completely dressed in black, pale
makeup, and a corset or silver ankh thrown in for good measure, possibly both.
It is to these individuals that I provide this introductory set of
guidelines.
1.When in doubt of your attire, wear black. You may be confused by some
of the longtime members of the scene in good standing that wear other
colors or no black at all, but they have seniority. Your peach prom dress, while
perhaps sceaming "Look at me!" in a way often associated with Goth
fashion, will probably not have people looking at you the way you would like.
2.Hold no musical opinions until you have listened to about 10,000 CDs.
For the proper selection, got to Black&Read, Wax Trax, or another
independent record store, and ask for "Gothic", "Deathrock", "Industrial", and hope
the clerk knows what they're doing. Never admit that you have not heard of
a band or do not know the name of a song. (Note: this can be tricky, as
paticularily vicious Goths will invent nonexistent bands or songs to
see if you're bullshitting, in hope that you are so they can laugh at you
behind your back. Laughing Behind Other's Backs is a favorite pastime for
Goths.) If the subject of music comes up, Learn a few names like Peter Murphy,
Dead Can Dance, Skinny Puppy, and mention them, then excuse yourself for a
drink before you are caught out.
3.Dancing. If you feel the need to dance at a club, a look around you
at the dance floor will give you a selection of moves to practice at home
before you attempt them in public. You should take care to do this, as nothing
looks more pathetic than someone who tries the Jeff Low Bend and Twirl
and falls on their face.
4.Much to the dismay of many straight men that go slumming to Goth
night at a club, most Goth Women are not sluts. Your chances of getting laid at
Goth Night by someone you just met are exponentially less than, say,
anywhere in LoDo. Goth Men, however, are sluts.
5.Many Goths hate to be called Goth. They prefer Deathrocker, or
Rivithead, or say "Don't label me." Keep in mind that Goth pride themselves on
their individuality, so they hate being categorized. This can be said of
approxamately 99.92 percent of them.
6. Be Artistic. You must be creative in some form to be of any interest
to most Goths. Take up Origami, or reproducing famous paintings with
crayolas. If you have no talent whatsoever, write poetry.
7.Never say the name "Bijan" three times out loud. Trust me on this.
8.Have fond memories of Muddy's, Ground Zero, and the Wreck Room, even
if you were never there.The mention of any of these will cause such a
miasma of sentimental reminiscing that it will occur to no one that they never
saw you there.
I hope these tenets will aid in some small fashion those who might be
in need of them.
-Gabriel
This piece appeared on the local Colorado Goth email list. Very amusing and right on the money.
As a long time member of the Denver Gothic Community (Goth Scene or
"The Scene"is sufficient for conversations between members of said group,
while "Gothic Community" is reserved for organizing public events,
interacting with the media, and flyers for bake sales) I have noticed a curious
phenomena.While most members of our subculture first began to identify
with it in High School or College, with some particularly precocious
individuals pointing out that they first starting writing bad poetry about
loneliness and graveyards in elementary school, there is a small but steady influx
of adults that "Get Turned" or "Go Goth". This can be observed at Onyx or
The Church, where careful observation will reveal, on occasion, a face you
have never seen before, dressed in unconscionably nongoth attire, looking
around fascinatedly with a kind of bewildered but thoughtful expression on
their face, only to appear the next week completely dressed in black, pale
makeup, and a corset or silver ankh thrown in for good measure, possibly both.
It is to these individuals that I provide this introductory set of
guidelines.
1.When in doubt of your attire, wear black. You may be confused by some
of the longtime members of the scene in good standing that wear other
colors or no black at all, but they have seniority. Your peach prom dress, while
perhaps sceaming "Look at me!" in a way often associated with Goth
fashion, will probably not have people looking at you the way you would like.
2.Hold no musical opinions until you have listened to about 10,000 CDs.
For the proper selection, got to Black&Read, Wax Trax, or another
independent record store, and ask for "Gothic", "Deathrock", "Industrial", and hope
the clerk knows what they're doing. Never admit that you have not heard of
a band or do not know the name of a song. (Note: this can be tricky, as
paticularily vicious Goths will invent nonexistent bands or songs to
see if you're bullshitting, in hope that you are so they can laugh at you
behind your back. Laughing Behind Other's Backs is a favorite pastime for
Goths.) If the subject of music comes up, Learn a few names like Peter Murphy,
Dead Can Dance, Skinny Puppy, and mention them, then excuse yourself for a
drink before you are caught out.
3.Dancing. If you feel the need to dance at a club, a look around you
at the dance floor will give you a selection of moves to practice at home
before you attempt them in public. You should take care to do this, as nothing
looks more pathetic than someone who tries the Jeff Low Bend and Twirl
and falls on their face.
4.Much to the dismay of many straight men that go slumming to Goth
night at a club, most Goth Women are not sluts. Your chances of getting laid at
Goth Night by someone you just met are exponentially less than, say,
anywhere in LoDo. Goth Men, however, are sluts.
5.Many Goths hate to be called Goth. They prefer Deathrocker, or
Rivithead, or say "Don't label me." Keep in mind that Goth pride themselves on
their individuality, so they hate being categorized. This can be said of
approxamately 99.92 percent of them.
6. Be Artistic. You must be creative in some form to be of any interest
to most Goths. Take up Origami, or reproducing famous paintings with
crayolas. If you have no talent whatsoever, write poetry.
7.Never say the name "Bijan" three times out loud. Trust me on this.
8.Have fond memories of Muddy's, Ground Zero, and the Wreck Room, even
if you were never there.The mention of any of these will cause such a
miasma of sentimental reminiscing that it will occur to no one that they never
saw you there.
I hope these tenets will aid in some small fashion those who might be
in need of them.
-Gabriel
Geek Joke
My friend Mike sent this joke yesterday. The secret behind our 20+ year friendship is simple: I'm the only one who laughs at his geeky puns & jokes.
A man was arrested at Sacramento International Airport today while trying to board a flight. The man, later identified as a public school teacher, was found in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphing calculator. Authorities believe the man is a member of the radical Al-Gebra group. He has been charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
::groans::
My friend Mike sent this joke yesterday. The secret behind our 20+ year friendship is simple: I'm the only one who laughs at his geeky puns & jokes.
A man was arrested at Sacramento International Airport today while trying to board a flight. The man, later identified as a public school teacher, was found in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphing calculator. Authorities believe the man is a member of the radical Al-Gebra group. He has been charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
::groans::
Thursday, January 15, 2004
Slava Lamp
From the Rocky Mountain News sports section:
Slava Medvedenko lit up the Denver Nuggets, which one supposes would make him a Slava lamp.
What a complete and utter crap game by the "up-and-coming" Denver Nuggets. The Lakers, without three of their starting five, absolutely dismantled the boys in dainty metallic blue. Horrible. If they're ever going to make a real run at the playoffs and become recognized as a a respectable team, the Nuggets have to win games like last night. Although I'm certainly not an NBA analyst, I think the Nuggets are two players away from being a legitimate playoff team. A shooting guard (Voshon Lenard isn't the long-term answer--he should be coming off the bench as the offensive spark) and banging power forward or center (7-10 rebounds a night) would fit the bill.
So, a nod to Gene and his Lakers. You whooped us good.
From the Rocky Mountain News sports section:
Slava Medvedenko lit up the Denver Nuggets, which one supposes would make him a Slava lamp.
What a complete and utter crap game by the "up-and-coming" Denver Nuggets. The Lakers, without three of their starting five, absolutely dismantled the boys in dainty metallic blue. Horrible. If they're ever going to make a real run at the playoffs and become recognized as a a respectable team, the Nuggets have to win games like last night. Although I'm certainly not an NBA analyst, I think the Nuggets are two players away from being a legitimate playoff team. A shooting guard (Voshon Lenard isn't the long-term answer--he should be coming off the bench as the offensive spark) and banging power forward or center (7-10 rebounds a night) would fit the bill.
So, a nod to Gene and his Lakers. You whooped us good.
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
WTF Department: Pick-up Lines
I think I may use some of these when I teach Interpersonal Communication this quickly approaching semester. Some of my favs include:
• Are you the tiger on the Frosted Flakes box? Because you’re looking "Grrrrreat!"
• Do you know karate? ’Cause your body sure is kickin’!
• I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
• If I had a nickel for every time I saw a woman as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.
• Hi, I’m Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me.
• Girl, you must have a license to drive me that crazy!!
• Are you from Tennessee? ’Cause you’re the only ten-I-see.
• My last name is "Visa," because I’m everywhere you want to be!
People don't really use lines like this, do they? Whatever happened to talking to someone about mutual interests? Doesn't that work anymore? Maybe it never did. Truth be told, I was pretty inept at the whole "approach" thing in my single days. In fact, I once went over two years without a date. One year of that was a self-imposed moratorium, the second was due to my own ineptitude. Actually, it was more like a paralyzing fear. I was so fearful of getting shot down that I never asked anyone out. How did I get over it? I never really did. That said, I started to apply some of the principles of public speaking to the dating scene. I maintained a calm & composed exterior while flipping out intenally. Hmmm . . . maybe it's time to compile that "dating tips for cool geeks" list.
I think I may use some of these when I teach Interpersonal Communication this quickly approaching semester. Some of my favs include:
• Are you the tiger on the Frosted Flakes box? Because you’re looking "Grrrrreat!"
• Do you know karate? ’Cause your body sure is kickin’!
• I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
• If I had a nickel for every time I saw a woman as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.
• Hi, I’m Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me.
• Girl, you must have a license to drive me that crazy!!
• Are you from Tennessee? ’Cause you’re the only ten-I-see.
• My last name is "Visa," because I’m everywhere you want to be!
People don't really use lines like this, do they? Whatever happened to talking to someone about mutual interests? Doesn't that work anymore? Maybe it never did. Truth be told, I was pretty inept at the whole "approach" thing in my single days. In fact, I once went over two years without a date. One year of that was a self-imposed moratorium, the second was due to my own ineptitude. Actually, it was more like a paralyzing fear. I was so fearful of getting shot down that I never asked anyone out. How did I get over it? I never really did. That said, I started to apply some of the principles of public speaking to the dating scene. I maintained a calm & composed exterior while flipping out intenally. Hmmm . . . maybe it's time to compile that "dating tips for cool geeks" list.
Ran Pan
From a message board I frequent:
Short for random pandemonium, the term "ran pan" is occasionally invoked to underscore the bizarre disconnect between rational thought and the content of a particular thread.
I think my entire blog might qualify as "ran pan." Is there really a theme to this thing?
From a message board I frequent:
Short for random pandemonium, the term "ran pan" is occasionally invoked to underscore the bizarre disconnect between rational thought and the content of a particular thread.
I think my entire blog might qualify as "ran pan." Is there really a theme to this thing?
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
My Worst Nightmare
My name is Derek and I'm a coffee geek. I'm also a vegetarian. The latest food trend in Seattle, dusting a steak with an espresso blend, is enough to turn my stomach.
Espresso Steak
Why would anyone profane a delicious coffee grind with meat?! Bleh. Save the espresso for where it belongs--in my espresso cup.
My name is Derek and I'm a coffee geek. I'm also a vegetarian. The latest food trend in Seattle, dusting a steak with an espresso blend, is enough to turn my stomach.
Espresso Steak
Why would anyone profane a delicious coffee grind with meat?! Bleh. Save the espresso for where it belongs--in my espresso cup.
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Unknown Creature
This occured Friday morning at 5:00 am. I was only half awake and not wearing my glasses/contacts. Without some kind of vision correction, I'm essentially blind; I can see shapes and shades but not actual images.
Derek begins to roll out of bed and sees something on the floor
Derek (thinks to self): What the fuck is that?!
Jumps back into bed and tries to examine black thing scurrying on floor
Derek (still thinking to self): How did the cat get in the room? Wait, is that the rabbit? How did she get our of her cage? Um, the door to the room is closed. How did anything get in here. Shit! What is that thing?!
Kathleen, noticing Derek's alarm, shoots straight up in bed.
Kathleen: What's wrong!?
Derek: There's an unknown creature in our room.
Kathleen (panic creeps into voice): What? What the fuck does that mean?
Derek: It's on the floor, running around.
Kathleen looks at the area Derek's inspecting
Kathleen: It's Clay.
Kathleen flops back into bed and Derek tries to get his racing heart under control
So the unknown creature turned out to be Clay, our Keeshond. As a result of my groggy state and poor light (it was 5 am), I couldn't distinguish between the carpet and his body. All I could see was a dark blob, his face. He must have moved when I started to get out of bed, leading to my perception of an unknown creature running around the room. Kathleen and I have laughed hysterically about this episode for the last 24 hours. Last night, she admitted she was ready to run from the room when I mentioned, "unknown creature." She also asked, "What kind of person says 'There's an unknown creature in the room' rather than 'There's something in the room'?" Good question.
This occured Friday morning at 5:00 am. I was only half awake and not wearing my glasses/contacts. Without some kind of vision correction, I'm essentially blind; I can see shapes and shades but not actual images.
Derek begins to roll out of bed and sees something on the floor
Derek (thinks to self): What the fuck is that?!
Jumps back into bed and tries to examine black thing scurrying on floor
Derek (still thinking to self): How did the cat get in the room? Wait, is that the rabbit? How did she get our of her cage? Um, the door to the room is closed. How did anything get in here. Shit! What is that thing?!
Kathleen, noticing Derek's alarm, shoots straight up in bed.
Kathleen: What's wrong!?
Derek: There's an unknown creature in our room.
Kathleen (panic creeps into voice): What? What the fuck does that mean?
Derek: It's on the floor, running around.
Kathleen looks at the area Derek's inspecting
Kathleen: It's Clay.
Kathleen flops back into bed and Derek tries to get his racing heart under control
So the unknown creature turned out to be Clay, our Keeshond. As a result of my groggy state and poor light (it was 5 am), I couldn't distinguish between the carpet and his body. All I could see was a dark blob, his face. He must have moved when I started to get out of bed, leading to my perception of an unknown creature running around the room. Kathleen and I have laughed hysterically about this episode for the last 24 hours. Last night, she admitted she was ready to run from the room when I mentioned, "unknown creature." She also asked, "What kind of person says 'There's an unknown creature in the room' rather than 'There's something in the room'?" Good question.
Friday, January 09, 2004
The Neocon Quiz
Are you a neoconservative? Take the quiz and find out:
Neocon Quiz
Would it surprise anyone to discover I'm considered a liberal? According the to quiz results, liberals can be described as follows.
Wary of American arrogance and hypocrisy
Trace much of today's anti-American hatred to previous US foreign policies.
Believe political solutions are inherently superior to military solutions
Believe the US is morally bound to intervene in humanitarian crises
Oppose American imperialism
Support international law, alliances, and agreements
Encourage US participation in the UN
Believe US economic policies must help lift up the world's poor
Historical liberal: President Woodrow Wilson
Modern liberal: President Jimmy Carter
Are you a neoconservative? Take the quiz and find out:
Neocon Quiz
Would it surprise anyone to discover I'm considered a liberal? According the to quiz results, liberals can be described as follows.
Wary of American arrogance and hypocrisy
Trace much of today's anti-American hatred to previous US foreign policies.
Believe political solutions are inherently superior to military solutions
Believe the US is morally bound to intervene in humanitarian crises
Oppose American imperialism
Support international law, alliances, and agreements
Encourage US participation in the UN
Believe US economic policies must help lift up the world's poor
Historical liberal: President Woodrow Wilson
Modern liberal: President Jimmy Carter
How Many Times?
How many different groups need to confirm the fact that the Bush administration lied to the U.S. American people? Shouldn't the people of our country be outraged that our President actively perpetuated lies that lead to a major military operation, an operation in which thousands of people lost their lives (and continue to die)? This wasn't a lie to cover up marital infidelity (President Clinton) or the covert sale of missiles (President Reagan). This was a series of lies that lead to a war. Inexcusable.
How many different groups need to confirm the fact that the Bush administration lied to the U.S. American people? Shouldn't the people of our country be outraged that our President actively perpetuated lies that lead to a major military operation, an operation in which thousands of people lost their lives (and continue to die)? This wasn't a lie to cover up marital infidelity (President Clinton) or the covert sale of missiles (President Reagan). This was a series of lies that lead to a war. Inexcusable.
Thursday, January 08, 2004
Attention Media Outlets
To CNN, Fox News, CBS, ABC, NBC. Google News, Yahoo News, and any other source of news on this planet:
I don't give a shit about celebrity appearances, "public interest" stories (who's really interested in this crap?), or opinions. As such, the following "news" stories should be removed. Immediately.
1. Britney Spears' marriage and annulment.
2. Robert Duvall's opinion on Steven Spielberg's visit to Cuba.
3. Courtney Cox's pregnancy.
4. Liza Minnelli's divorce.
5. Kate Hudson's baby.
6. Steve Irwin & his baby feeding crocodiles.
7. Justin Timberlake's women.
8. Harrison Ford's divorce.
9. Anything about Edie Brickell
10. The determination of Tom Cruise.
Really. Take the stories down. Now. There are far more pressing matters facing our world. The very fact that you continue to call these stories "news" is an insult to the public.
To CNN, Fox News, CBS, ABC, NBC. Google News, Yahoo News, and any other source of news on this planet:
I don't give a shit about celebrity appearances, "public interest" stories (who's really interested in this crap?), or opinions. As such, the following "news" stories should be removed. Immediately.
1. Britney Spears' marriage and annulment.
2. Robert Duvall's opinion on Steven Spielberg's visit to Cuba.
3. Courtney Cox's pregnancy.
4. Liza Minnelli's divorce.
5. Kate Hudson's baby.
6. Steve Irwin & his baby feeding crocodiles.
7. Justin Timberlake's women.
8. Harrison Ford's divorce.
9. Anything about Edie Brickell
10. The determination of Tom Cruise.
Really. Take the stories down. Now. There are far more pressing matters facing our world. The very fact that you continue to call these stories "news" is an insult to the public.
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
Lost in Space
While Spirit beams back spectacular images of the Martian landscape and prepares to investigate "Sleepy Hollow," researchers have yet to hear a bark from Beagle 2. Kudoes to the writer of the Beagle article for giving a nod to the science fiction classic, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. For those out of the science fiction loop, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep provided basic plot elements for the film Blade Runner. The director's cut of Blade Runneris still one of my favorite films.
While Spirit beams back spectacular images of the Martian landscape and prepares to investigate "Sleepy Hollow," researchers have yet to hear a bark from Beagle 2. Kudoes to the writer of the Beagle article for giving a nod to the science fiction classic, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. For those out of the science fiction loop, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep provided basic plot elements for the film Blade Runner. The director's cut of Blade Runneris still one of my favorite films.
Saturday, January 03, 2004
Baby No Name
Sometime early this morning, my little sister gave birth to a 7 lb 6 oz boy. Since she and her husband have struggled to find the right name, the baby has been christened "baby no name" by the family. During our recent family Christmas gathering, I suggested the names Obiwan, Indiana, Theodoric, and Mephistopheles. All my suggestions were met with a resounding, "NO." Some people have no sense of creativity. They'll probably name the kid William, Robert, James or something normal that will result in a teenage identity crisis. Why not give the kid an unusual name? Sure, he'll get teased a bit during his public school years, but at least he'll have a unique name around which to forge a unique identity. Actually, I'm kind of glad Obiwan was rejected. Should Kathleen and I have any male children, I'll lobby fervently for Obiwan.
Sometime early this morning, my little sister gave birth to a 7 lb 6 oz boy. Since she and her husband have struggled to find the right name, the baby has been christened "baby no name" by the family. During our recent family Christmas gathering, I suggested the names Obiwan, Indiana, Theodoric, and Mephistopheles. All my suggestions were met with a resounding, "NO." Some people have no sense of creativity. They'll probably name the kid William, Robert, James or something normal that will result in a teenage identity crisis. Why not give the kid an unusual name? Sure, he'll get teased a bit during his public school years, but at least he'll have a unique name around which to forge a unique identity. Actually, I'm kind of glad Obiwan was rejected. Should Kathleen and I have any male children, I'll lobby fervently for Obiwan.
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