A Tale of Two Xmas Cards

The new thing in higher education holiday celebrations appears to be the e-card. I've received two in the last couple weeks. Truth be told, I find the e-card an excellent alternative to the paper holiday card. Considering how many holiday cards get sent out by institutions on an annual basis, the e-card is a winner all the way round. Fewer trees meet their doom passing on a greeting that quickly gets tossed in the circular file, although it should go in the recycling bin, and the low cost delivery system that is email probably saves schools a goodly amount of money.

Keeping all this in mind, I welcomed the two cards I received. I opened one, viewed/listened with pleasure, and felt a bit of holiday cheer emanate from my usually bah humbugish bones. When I opened the second I felt, well, like I'd been asked to pay for the card I received. One card seemed to advance the spirit of giving; one card seemed to promote the spirit of getting.

Magical Christmas.

Forever Green.

Which school would you rather attend?

Weekly Reader: Frankenstein, Forbidden Planet, and Fire from the Sky

A while back, I saved these links as a draft and never got around to posting. Now that the semester is essentially over (I have a few tests to grade but should have those finished by tomorrow afternoon . . . and I'm grading at a very leisurely pace), I hope to have some extra blogging time.

Frankenstein. The Prometheus myth has to be one of the most prevalent cultural narratives, doesn't it? When humans play with the fire of the gods, someone always gets burned.

Forbidden Planet Soundtrack? Excellent stuff. Forbidden Planet is one of my favorite classic science fiction films.

Fire from the Sky. Interesting piece about ethics in wartime. What does the firebombing of civilian population centers say about the Allies?

Light Up and Be Cool

Despite what almost everyone and their mother says these days, smoking is cool.

Smoking in the Movies

You might get cancer, but you'll look damn cool in the process. Have I mentioned how much I miss smoking?

Just a Goth Darn Minute

Amusing and surprisingly accurate.

Gobble Gobble!

It's been so long since I've made an entry that I wonder if I have a single reader who even checks my dusty little corner of cyberspace. If you're out there, I hope you're running an RSS feed and don't waste your time checking the page on a regular basis. I'm not sure why I can't seem to manage to update on a regular basis. At the end of the day, with school, family, and other obligations, blogging just drifts to the end of the "To Do" list.

Life has been very good of late. The school semester continues to fly by and, after the end of Thanksgiving break, only two full weeks of classes remain. Tons of grading looms on the horizon, but I just don't get freaked out about that anymore. Considering that I used to have 230 students every semester, 60 seems entirely manageable. I have to bite my tongue not to laugh out loud when I hear some of my colleagues complain about grading 60 papers or exams over a ten day period. I'll take that any day.

The other bit of exciting school news, I suppose, is that I finally received an "affirmative" on the long in development Battlestar Galactica essay and, barring an "I hate it" from the editor, should have another publication under my belt come next fall. The deadline for the completed draft is still ten days away and I have the difficult part of the essay finished. Another five or six pages to go, which I should finish this weekend, and I'll spend the next week or so tinkering, editing, rewriting.

Writing should be no problem this weekend as the house is completely quiet. To celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary STK's parents decided to take the family on a dream vacation to Ireland. Despite my warnings that I cannot take time off during the school year, they booked the trip during the school year. As such, I'm the only one of the family--STK's parents, offspring (STK, siblings, and spouses), grand offspring (TLO and his two cousins)--who is not enjoying the streets of Dublin and the rolling countryside of Ireland proper. Yes, I'm a bit miffed that I'm the one who got stiffed in the entire affair. And her parents wonder why I'm not all that hip to family events. Had this been my parents, and my parents would never fork out the cash to fly everyone out of the country, they would have picked a time when everyone could go. I will always be something of an outsider with STK's family. Some of that is my fault (I won't conform to family expectations) and some of it is there's (I'm not the person they would have picked for STK's partner). It is what it is. Anyway, I've been playing bachelor since Thanksgiving morning. It didn't take long to get back into my preferred sleeping habits; I stayed up until 3:30 am and slept until 10:30 am. I wish I could do that every day.

I spent Thanksgiving driving to an airport, helping STK get TLO loaded into a plane, and driving home. Driving to the airport we spotted a flock of 16 wild turkeys having their own Thanksgiving meal in a recently harvested corn field. I believe my response was, "Run, you fools, run! It's Thanksgiving Day and you're strolling around a field a 1/2 mile from town?! Run! Be free!" Later in the evening I had the not-so-traditional holiday repast with Dr. OneDink and the Alabama Hick. Most items on the menu, while based on a traditional holiday dish, had some slight modification. We ate Quorn cutlets (vegetarian meat like product), yam sautée (boiled in apple juice), cheese potatoes (baked potato slices with a tidbit of cheese), etc. As far as Thanksgiving dinners go, it was delicious and moderately healthy. We did have steamed broccoli/carrots/cauliflower, stuffing, and pumpkin pie so it wasn't a completely alternative meal. I went home feeling full, but not stuffed. I'm very thankful Dr. OneDink and Alabama Hick invited me into their home.

I leave you today with what is most definitely my favorite scene from any movie dealing with Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving, gobble gobble, and all that.

Writers Unite!

I'll try to make substantive comments about the hollywood writers strike soon. In the meantime, check out the following link for up-to-date news regarding strike doings.

United Hollywood.

Like my support matters much, or at all, but I'm all for the writers. I can read, write, and watch DVDs (a bit ironic, given the major issues of the strike) until the writers get a fairer piece of the new media pie.

Spirituality

I believe there is an important distinction to be made between religion and spirituality. Religion I take to be concerned with belief in the claims to salvation of one faith tradition or another--an aspect of which is acceptance of some form of meta-physical or philosophical reality, including perhaps an idea of heaven or hell. Connected with this are religious teachings or dogma, ritual, prayers and so on. Spirituality I take to be concerned with those qualities of the human spirit--such as love and compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment, a sense of responsibility, a sense of harmony, which bring happiness to both self and others.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

More Word Games

Scientolotot: another name for Suri, the Scientological offspring of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

Pools of Sorrow, Waves of Joy

With the exception of The Music Man, a film my family forced me to watch over, and over, and over again, I have a soft spot for musicals. The cinematic release of Grease remains a personal highlight of the 70s and repeat viewings of The Wall, Quadrophenia, and Tommy offer a glimpse into my teen mind during the 1980s. Fashion a movie around rock and roll numbers and I'm all yours.

With that in mind, I've been counting the days since learning about Julie Taymor's Across the Universe. Today, after a horribly long wait, the Beatles fan finally saw the film . . . and loved it. The narrative itself--the traditional boy meets girl love story--is nothing new and this seems to be the major criticism from many of the professional critics. The strength of this film is the musical numbers and the emotion packed within. This isn't a thinking movie, but a feeling movie. Maybe it's my fascination with the social upheaval of the 1960s, but the use of the reimagined Beatles classics to capture the spirit of a turbulent period really struck a chord with me. In fact, the film moved me to tears on multiple occasions. I teared up in deep sadness, in fury, and in happiness. I enjoy a wide variety of movies and have dozens of favorites, but few have the ability to make feel this deeply. I enjoyed this movie so much, that I'll probably try to see it again during the coming week. For the record: I haven't seen a film multiple times since Revenge of the Sith. The soundtrack will be purchased, as will the DVD when released.

To get a taste of the film, check out all the cool videos on Yahoo.com.

Word Games

As we wrapped up a unit on the rhetoric of food, my students engaged in a rousing debate regarding the meanings of "supper" and "dinner." I grew up, in the Midwest, calling the evening meal "supper." Today, however, I refer to the evening meal as "dinner." As far as I can tell, I don't treat the meal any differently today than I did back in the supper days. Is there a difference? If so, what?

Mr. Coffee is Dead

Despite my best efforts at keeping him alive--I made significant repairs a few weeks back--my trusty Mr. Coffee grinder is dead.

After almost ten years of faithful service, the last six years of so providing fresh ground coffee in my school office, Mr. Coffee has been replaced. Oh, I'll no doubt take him home and see if I can patch him up yet again, but he'll be put on emeritus status and will only tackle the duties of grinding the occasional flavored bean.

Farewell, Mr. Coffee. You served me well.

Told You So

I've been ranting, maybe even whining, for several months about the possibility of Hillary Clinton being named the Democratic Presidential nominee. I've said to STK, on numerous occasions, that a Clinton candidacy will bring out the Swiftboat For Truth folks in droves. Guess what:

Paul's anti-Clinton effort is getting help from two technical producers who set up the Web site for Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, the 2004 campaign that went after Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry by raising questions about his decorated military service in Vietnam.

Mark my words: a Clinton candidacy = Republican victory. I have nothing against her, personally, and would love to see a woman President. I'm not a huge fan of her politics as she's way to moderate for my liking. The biggest problem, however, is the vehemence with which conservatives seem to dislike her (or her husband, actually). You want to give the Republicans something to get fired up about, give 'em Hillary. Disaster in the making.

Geek Update

• Ordered DVR service for the homestead. Due to demand, I'm told it will be 2-3 weeks before we actually receive the DVR.
  
• Purchased Transformers DVD.
• Located Battle droids to replace battle droid with missing head. Threw in a Justice League Unlimited Batman just for good measure. How did I NOT know about the Justice League Unlimited Kyle Rayner?! That's on the list for next month.
  
• Swindled Fatal Revenant for $10 thanks to my B & N membership. I'm hoping I'll sit down and start reading the book tomorrow night. I need to finish Eragon first.
• Watched the first three episodes of Jekyll, the BBC's contemporary update on the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde story. Freakin' fantastic is all I can say. I haven't been this thrilled about three hours of television since discovering Farscape.
  

St. John Paul's Fire?

While discussing the rhetoric of postmodern theology with one of my students, I offered Flaming Pope John Paul II as Exhibit A. The student laughed and said, "Yeah, right. That's just silly."

I smiled and responded, "I know it seems silly, but think about it. Listen to how people are discussing the photograph. These people are putting forth the argument that this is Pope John Paul II. What does that mean? This photograph has great significance to those featured in the article and, I'll bet, any number of Catholic readers."

Again, my student sounded skeptical: "You can't be serious."

"I am. Dead serious," I replied very matter of factly.

The student looked at the picture on my computer screen, then turned back to me. "You think Pope John Paul is appearing in fire?"

"Me?" I laughed. "Of course not. Actually, I'm pretty sure he's not, but I'm going to leave a little wiggle room in case I'm wrong. The point isn't whether the Pope is on some kind of fiery pilgrimage or not. The point is that believers are starting to use this photograph as a kind of symbol of their faith. We're seeing the meaning negotiated right before our eyes!"

I don't think the student bought into my argument, an argument I think has a great deal of merit. Said student wasn't nearly as excited about the photograph, either. Does the photograph capture a moment of the divine made mundanely manifest? I have no clue. At least three people, as noted in the article, believe the dead Pope made an earthly appearance. Thousands of people flocked to websites to see the photograph.

The photograph and the comments in the article suggest three things to me. First, the flaming Pope serves as "evidence" for the holiness of John Paul II. Performing his faith through a lifetime of service, he has transcended death. Second, his reappearance signifies the presence of something greater, namely God. Sirius Black and John Paul II aside, few individuals possesses the ability to communicate by way of fire. As a "Servant of God," flaming John Paul II implicates a special place next God for those who serve. Not everyone who passes on to heaven returns to Earth in the form of an apparition; those deemed Holy servants, or even saintly, return to continue their work. Finally, the appearance John Paul II at a service commemorating his death puts the presence of God smack dab in the middle of Earthly affairs. Through the photograph, the metaphysically transcendent announces, "I am present." The photograph, and subsequent interpretation, brings followers closer to God.

That's what I'm reading, at least. I'm pulling some of these ideas together for a potential article regarding the rhetoric of divine presence in everyday life. Whether it's a bonfire apparition, a likeness seen in the knot of a tree, or a face burned on a tortilla, the rhetorical performance of "pilgrim" or "follower" attaches meaning to what could very well be random occurrences. There's a piece of me that wonders, however, "Could this be the voice of the divine speaking?"

Sweep?

Watching the Rockies on their recent amazing run is kind of like having your best friend win the lottery. It's cool and all, but it would be better if you (or the Cubs in this case) were the one winning. As a former inhabitant of Denver, at least I can say I've been following the Rockies since they arrived on the scene. I've been to tons of games, even in the seasons when they were absolutely awful, and I even have a Colorado Rockies wind breaker and hat around here somewhere. I have a feeling that's not the case for most of the present CR fans. Colorado sports fans, with the exception of Bronco fans (they're just plain nuts), are the biggest bunch of bandwagon jumpers you'll ever meet.

Speaking of bandwagons: you'd better jump on board with the Denver Nuggets before the regular season starts. Once the Nuggets start the regular season, and their inevitable drive toward the Western Conference Finals, latecomers will not be allowed.

The Feast

Friday's Feast, October 5th, 2007

Appetizer--On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you look forward to your birthday?
3. I'm not that into birthdays. It's nice having and ice cream, who doesn't like that, but a birthday isn't really that big of a deal. What are we celebrating, the fact that we managed to make it another year? Weird.

Soup--What is one word you don’t like the sound, spelling, or meaning of?
Ocassion. Er, occassion. Um, occasion. ::sighs:: I don't know why, but I spell that word wrong every. Damn. Time.

Salad--Do you wear sunglasses when you’re outside? If so, what does your current pair look like?
If I'm outside, I have sunglasses. It doesn't matter if it's rain, sunshine, or snow, I always wear sunglasses. I wear them just to be cool (although not as cool Cory Hart who wore his sunglasses at night). My eyes are hyper sensitive to light. Walking out into the sunshine, without sunglasses, results in instant headache.

I have four pairs that I use on a regular basis. These are my current favs. That's a great site for clothing, apparel, and whatnot. Top notch product and service. I've purchased dozens of items from Sierra Trading Post--jackets, shoes, sunglasses--and not once have I had anything I would even remotely categorize as a bad transaction.

Main Course--If you were to write a book, to whom would you dedicate it?
My first book, and really do think there's a book in my future, will be dedicated to STK.

Dessert--Name a beverage that you enjoy.
Anyone who knows me will know that I'm a huge coffee geek. Coffee, coffee, and more coffee, please.

Why? Why? Why?

Cubs get a two run homer in the top of the second. Lilly gives up a 3 run blast in the bottom of the second. A triple scores another run. Cubs down 4-2. Why am I Cub fan? What did I do to deserve this?

UPDATED: Bottom of the 4th
WTF is Pinella thinking?! Why did he let Lilly continue to pitch when he was obviously struggling in the 2nd and 3rd? Two more runs in. Pinella is supposed to be one of the premiere managers? Screw that. He's doing a terrible job of managing his starting pitchers. This is exactly why I don't watch games during the regular season. I live and die by this team. It's much easier to look at a box score and think, "Too bad the Cubs dropped one. Glad I didn't watch the game." I then move on with my day without another thought. Tonight, I'm agonizing over the game.

Patriotism, Poptarts, and Pop Flies

Patriotism. I love the fact that Obama has decided to quit wearing the flag pin. I'm sure I'm not the only person who sees this symbol as representing a particular type of patriotism, the type espoused by our current administration. The idea that one needs to wear a pin to remember 9-11 (who can forget?), or prove to an intelligent, discerning audience that you understand U.S. American values, is absurd. Any predictions regarding how long it will be before someone questions Obama's authenticity as a patriotic American? If, or should it be when, this happens, I believe I'll start wearing a flag pin painted black.

Poptarts. So, Britney's MTV comeback was a bomb, eh? Tell that to the media's favorite poptart--her new single is number 3 on the charts. Who needs kids when you're loved by your adoring fans? BTW, anyone who criticizes her post-child appearance (I heard one of my students refer to her as "fat") needs a reality check.*

Pop Flies. That's how I felt about last night's game between the Cubs and Diamondbacks. From the moment Arizona scored the initial run, I felt like I was watching a towering infield pop fly. It took a while, but I knew the ball would be caught for an out. And the Cubs did lose last night, 3-1. Pinella is taking a ton of heat for pulling Zambrano after 84 pitches in what looked like a move to help the starter stay fresh for his next start. The bullpen blew the game, but the Cubs have an ace ready for Sunday's game 4. If the Cubs get to game four. Did Pinella forget that the first round of the playoffs is a best of 5 series? Gotta win one to make it to game 4, Lou. In Pinella's defense, the Cubs have a decent bullpen and that move would have worked on many an evening. Alas, it didn't work last night. Hope springs eternal for tonight's game. Go Cubbies!

To bring the Cubs a little luck, I thought I'd resurrect one of my favorite Harry Caray moments. Back in the day when the Cubs really sucked, Harry used to make up songs on the spot. Here's one of my favorites (I can't believe I remember the words--this is from 20+ years ago). The lyrics are sung to the tune of The Ballad of Davy Crockett.

Jody. Jody Davis.
Hits the ball high and far.
Jody, Jody Davis.
He's a Cubs baseball star.

*When I heard the comment in class, I turned to the student in question and said, "You realize you just insulted almost every woman in this room, right? You have a very distorted perception of feminine beauty."

Cubs Win! Cubs Win! Holy Cow!

I've spent the last few weeks biting my tongue, biding my time, waiting for the announcement: the Cubs are in the playoffs! After 27 years of being a Cub fan, you learn to keep your expectations in check. Time after time, this team has broken my heart; unfortunately, I have a very long memory. I can remember, with a great deal of clarity, the exact moment Steve Garvey smashed my dreams. I still dislike that guy with a passion. Don't even talk to me about Leon Durham. Remember Greg Maddux, the great young Cubs pitcher who defected to Atlanta? I cursed the day he returned to the Cubs a couple years back. In fact, Maddux still retains the number 3 position in my Top Ten Hated Athletes list.

So, I spent the last two weeks holding my breath, waiting for the Cubs to clinch the division. I kept my excitement to myself, fearing that any kind of open enthusiasm would invoke some long forgotten baseball hex. When I tried to share the briefest flicker of hope with another Cubs fan, I was met with a rebuke. She said, "Sshhhh. Don't talk about it. Just don't." And you know what happened that very night? The Cubs lost their second game in a row and went on to be swept by the Marlins. That was my fault, I just know it.

I posted back on April 2 that this is the Cubs year. Is it? Probably not. They'll break my heart for the umpteenth year . . . and I'll be pulling for them every last second of the disaster. Who knows, maybe they'll surprise me this year.

Go Cubs!

Empty

Empty and calm and devoid of self
Is the nature of all things.
No individual being
In reality exists.

There is no end or beginning,
Nor any middle course.
All is an illusion,
As in a vision or a dream.

All beings in the world
Are beyond the realm of words.
Their ultimate nature, pure and true,
Is like the infinity of space.

-Prajnaparamita

Conversational Realities: Slut Roommate

Overheard while walking across campus.

Person #1: You lost?
Person #2: I'm just waiting for my slut of a roommate.

Life, The Universe, and Everything

Life. Oddly enough, I've had this conversation with several colleagues. Some [professors think college is about producing a product, a skill set that increase a person's chance of success in the workplace. I, on the other hand, am all about raising the big questions regarding life. What's our purpose? Who are we? What does it mean to be an ethical human being? How do we co-constitute the answers to all these questions by way of rhetoric? Most of my classes, but not all, reflect my personal bias. In the course of engaging these questions, I'd like to think that students become better writers, improved speakers, and proficient critical thinkers. My main goal, however, is to encourage students to become increasingly self-reflective about their own place in the universe. If I'm just handing them a toolbox consisting of how to impress in that interview, how to influence patrons/customers, and how to persuade coworkers that a plan is the best choice, then I'm doing something wrong.

The Universe. Amazing. I'm still baffled as to how astronomers are able to make these kinds of observations. Baffled, but amazed. I guess I'm still a photograph-from-the-rover kind of guy.

And Everything. Everything is change; change is everything.

Performing Pareidolia

I submitted the following abstract as part of a potential panel for an upcoming conference.

Pareidolia and the Space of Communicative Praxis: Performing Mystery in the Presence of the Metaphysically Transcendent Other.

This essay examines communication regarding pareidolia--the act of perceiving a distinguishable pattern or likeness, typically a thing or person, in a random image--as a means by which the self performs the extraordinary and unknowable in the midst of the everyday mundane. Negotiating the always already subject positions of both self and other within the communal moment of the communicative encounter, a moment Calvin Schrag describes as the space of communicative praxis, embodied human agents cooperatively reify and subvert cultural institutions and discernments. An analysis of the communicative discourse and action surrounding perceived encounters with the metaphysically transcendent other via pareidolia--the likeness of Jesus on a tortilla, a demonic visage in the smoke of the World Trade Center, or a Virgin Mary formed from chocolate drippings--offers an opportunity to explore how the self resists the hegemonic discourses of science and attempts to reclaim a sense of the mystical, the magical, and the mysterious.

I'm also reworking the Battlestar Galactica abstract/proposal for the umpteenth time. The question of the hour: to what convention should I submit my BSG work? Should I submit to the RSA convention in Seattle or the PCA convention in San Francisco?

Feast-o-licious

Friday's Feast for Friday, 7 September 2007:

Appetizer--Using only one word, how does grocery shopping make you feel?
Hungry.

Soup--What is your favorite part about the season of Autumn?
Autumn is, by far, the most amazing season here in the Corn Furnace. The temperatures are just right (70s) and the air is filled with the scent of decaying leaves. Mmmmm.

Salad--Have you ever had any bad experiences online?
I once had a used bookstore try to scam me out of some money. I ordered the book and, three days later, the company closed shop. Thankfully, I ordered the book via Alibris.com and received a total reimbursement.

Main Course--Name three things that make you happy daily.
Coffee, STK, TLO

Dessert--What one household cleansing or organizing item would you not want to be without?
My computer. I can't imagine keeping lecture notes, class assignments, and research organized in any other way.

More of the Same

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise.

::bangs head on desk::

Airing Out

Where does the time go? I think to myself, almost every day, "I need to write a blog post about X, Y, or Z" and then it doesn't happen. I swear I need another four hours in the day. Random stuff bouncing around in my head follows.

• The school avoided major flood damage and sand bagging was not required. It was a close call, though, as water was a foot or two from the top of the dike. Small parts of the campus did flood--a couple athletic fields--but major structures were spared. We drove through this area yesterday afternoon, an area we pass through at least once a month, and the amount of flood damage blew my mind. I had no idea the major flooding was occurring just 45 miles to the northeast.
• I had an odd dream a couple nights back, odd in content and odd in that I remembered the dream. I'm not one who typically remembers dreams. Although I'm not positive about the exact context, I believe the dream occurred during my late 20s. I'm single, completely lacking in any dating confidence, and terrified to even approach a woman I deem attractive. That's a pretty accurate description from back then. I was pathetic, actually, and went through one phase where I didn't date for three years. In the dream, I muster up the courage to ask Katie Sackhoff out on a date (she wasn't a television star in the dream, just a person. Or maybe she was Katie Sackhoff playing the role of a regular person. Confusing.). She says, "Yes" but I keep wondering if she's really interested in me or just being nice. The End. Obviously, some of my "Am I good enough" issues are bubbling in the back of my mind. That's STK's analysis, actually.I've spent more time wondering why it was Katie Sackhoff in my dream. Katie Sackhoff isn't an actress to whom I've devoted much time, if any. I don't think I've ever given it much thought as to whether I consider her attractive or not. STK assured me that Sackhoff is my type and that kicked off a discussion as to whether I even have a type.
  
• I've received several communiques from Iraq--a handful of emails and a phone call--and A is doing well. He can't really say too much about what he's actually doing, but he assures me he's safe and hasn't seen anything to threatening. Let's hope that continues.
  
• Interlibrary loan emailed today and let me know that my request--Rebirth of Dialogue: Socrates, Bakhtin, and The Rhetorical Tradition--awaited pick-up. I gave a cheer when the email arrived in my Inbox. Geek time! Excellent!
  

Why I Love Fandom: Reason #323

Where else would someone get excited about a comic book cover and exclaim:

OMG, naked flaming Faith! *faint*

You can see the faint inspiring comic book cover at this location. As it's a comic book cover, we're talking Safe For Work.

Doing the Tango

I've added And Tango Makes Three to my Barnes and Noble wish list. Any book that hits the "most challenged" list is a "must have" for our family library.

Here's one of the comments from the B&N reviews:

What is our world coming to? Children in preschool are not ready to tackle this subject yet. How would you all feel if we brought in a story straight from the Bible? Now let's talk tolerance. I am a teacher, a mother and a liberal, but not this liberal.

Um, aren't preschoolers tackling the subject of families on a regular basis? If preschoolers are ready for a story with a mommy and daddy, they're ready for this book. In fact, if we're ever going to see true tolerance--acceptance would be even better--for anything other than the "traditional" heterosexual model of parenting, books like this are a must.

Suntory Time

Bill Murray is one of my favorite comedic actors. Stripes, Ghostbusters, What About Bob, and Groundhog day are films I've watched over and over and over. I absolutely love Lost in Translation and I'm probably the only person on the planet who thinks Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou is comedy brilliance ("We'll send him a red cap and Speedo.")

I have to say, Murray's latest escapade gave me a good chuckle.

Drunk Driving Swedish Golf Cart.

At least it wasn't a car, right?

Deluge

I have never seen so much rain. Since Thursday or Friday, we've been hit with rain every single day. I'm not talking a Colorado rainstorm that drops a quarter of an inch in fifteen minutes, but honest to goodness Midwest downpours that last for hours. Weather reports put our monthly rainfall total at 12 inches, three-quarters of that total in the last few days. Even when it's not raining, the humidity doesn't drop much below 90 percent; one step outside and it's like you just walked out of the shower.

To top it all off, the river that runs through town is at flood stage and threatening part of campus. I received an email this afternoon asking school employees to watch for an announcement regarding the possibility of sandbag work Thursday and Friday. Now that's something that doesn't appear in your Inbox every day. If we receive much rain tonight, and radar suggests there's more headed this way, I could be hip deep in river water, sand, and burlap by tomorrow afternoon.

Feast 156

Feast One Hundred & Fifty Six
August 17th, 2007

Appetizer--Describe your laundry routine. Do you have a certain day when you do it all, or do you just wash whatever you need for the next day?
Wash running clothes--shorts, shirts, socks, various ankle/knee braces--a couple times a week. For general washing, clothes are sorted into whites, darks, and blacks. Dress clothes are sorted in a similar fashion and washed separately from jeans, t-shirts, etc.

Soup--In your opinion, what age will you be when you’ll consider yourself to truly be old?
70? I don't know. I'll be forty in a few months and still don't feel anything like "old". Old is a state of mind, I suspect.

Salad--What is one of your goals? Is it short-term, long-term, or both?
Short term: clean up a couple small debts, new laptop for STK. Long term: tenure.

Main Course--Name something unbelievable you’ve seen or read lately.
In the unbelievable--"I'm amazed!" category: It's a comet! Wait, it's a star!

In the unbelievable--are you freaking kidding me?!--category: Pentagon Spends $998,798 to Ship Two Washers.

Dessert--On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how happy are you today?
5. Not enough sleep ::grumble::

Letting Go

During my high school and college years, I earned much needed money as a lifeguard, instructor, and swim team coach. One of the most stressed lessons during Water Safety Instructor training was one of the most difficult to swallow: if the rescue gets too difficult or looks too dangerous, let the victim drown. That's good advice, really. One drowning is better than two.

Tonight, I can't help but think that same icy logic applies to the Utah mining situation. My heart aches for the lost miners and their respective friends and families, but are their lives worth the loss of others?

Rescue Disaster

Realistically, the statistical probability that the lost miners are still alive is slim to none. If/when the mine authorities decide to call off the recovery operation, they will no doubt be demonized by some factions for leaving the lost miners to their fate. I'd argue, however, that their current responsibility is to the living rather than the might be living. That position brings no amount of solace to those who face the loss of a loved one, I'm sure, but when does one say "Enough. It's time to say goodbye"?

Best of Intentions

Despite my desire to do some serious blogging during the recent Colorado getaway--we arrived back at the Fortress of Little to No Solitude around 6 PM--I obviously wasn't up to the task. What started as a "last hurrah" before the start of school mutated into something much less celebratory. Rather than spending time strolling through the Denver Botanic Gardens or the newly expanded/remodeled art museum, our time consisted of hospital visits and convalescence.

Just before leaving for our trip, we learned that STK's grandmother had encountered some health difficulties requiring a hospital stay. Somewhere on the plains of Nebraska the cell phone rang and we received awful news: pancreatic cancer. She's lived a good long life but it's still difficult to see a loved one facing a terminal illness. While in Denver, STK visited her grandmother daily. The final farewell from the hospital proved particularly difficult as we realize we may not see Grandma J when we return for the holidays.

As we said our goodbyes Tuesday afternoon, our trip took another wrong turn at Albuquerque. Early Tuesday morning, I awoke at the horrifying hour of 6 AM to go for a 10 mile run (I've been training for a half marathon at the end of the month). At about 2.5 miles I noticed I wasn't running particularly well. I typically don't run all that well in the mornings so I'm used to a few extra aches and pains for the first fifteen minutes or so. No matter how hard I tried to push my lethargy aside, I couldn't do it. I hit the five mile mark and quit. This is extremely unusual behavior for me; when I set out to run, I typically set a target: five miles, forty-five minutes, etc. Sprained ankle, heat, stomach cramps--nothing stops me from completing a run. A week ago Tuesday I packed it in, walked home, and felt off the entire morning. I ate breakfast and my bagel just sat in my stomach. And sat. And sat. My condition worsened at the hospital. I finally pulled STK aside and said, "I hate to do this, but I don't feel so great."

We hopped in the car and started the hour drive to my parents. And that's when the bug hit in full force. By the time we reached my parents, I collapsed in the spare bedroom and shivered uncontrollably. With the assistance of copious amounts of ibuprofen, I managed to keep my temperature at 102.5. Tuesday was shot, Wednesday was a day of sleep and the intermittent foray out into the world to try and spend time with my family. While I didn't have vertigo and wasn't sick to my stomach, I couldn't eat anything. Food sat in my stomach like an indigestible croquet ball. I swear I could feel the damn thing just sitting there. Anything more exotic than toast or Malt O Meal resulted in stomach cramps and other effects that I'd rather not reveal on a public blog. Let's just say that at one point we had several scented candles burning in the spare bedroom. By Friday, when the rest of the family arrived (Aunt J, Uncle G, Cousin K, Cousin-in-Law T), I was finally well enough to interact with the living. I didn't feel terrific--far from the top of my game, in fact--but I could hang out.

Friday and Saturday were spent catching up, laughing, and reminiscing, the usual family stuff. Given the cramped quarters of my parents' spacious abode (eight people living under the same rough), a good time was had by all. I think.

Despite the detours and speed bumps, the trip was worth the effort and there were many most excellent moments. A leisurely dinner with all of our Denver alternafriends was definitely one of the hight lights, as was our last minute descent into the Denver goth scene for a couple hours of dancing. While at my parents, I managed to spend a couple hours with J, a friend from high school. No matter how much time slips by, that friendship will always be one of those that survives. If you're reading, J, thanks for the Hendrix! Excellent stuff for the journey home. I even hugged my father as we said goodbye (we never hug) . . . and he returned the hug. That moment has been 20+ years in the making. We might not see eye to eye on a great many things, but seem to be able to enjoy each other's company as more time goes by. As much as I hate to admit it, that's probably a result of my maturity more than anything else.

And that brings us to the point where I need a vacation to recover from my vacation. And that isn't going to happen. As STK commences the 2007-2008 school year tomorrow (teacher in-service and what not through the end of the week), I'm back on primary care patrol with TLO. My mornings will once again be filled with talk of "bulldozers," "ghosts," and "milk!" and filled with images of Handy Manny, Elmo, and Caillou.

What the heck happened to my summer?

Mmmmm.

Kaladi Bros Coffee. Einstein Bros fruit & nut power bagel. Heaven.

Thoughts Like Breezes

Body impermanent like spring mist;
mind insubstantial like empty sky;
thoughts unestablished like breezes in space.
Think about these three points over and over.

-Adept Godrakpa, "Hermit of Go Cliffs"

Silent Running

It's been awfully quiet around here, eh? I finally finished up all my summer teaching on Thursday and I'm almost certain I won't teach again next summer. STK, who also did some teaching this summer, echoes the sentiment. Next year, we take the summer off to spend time together as a family, rest, and rejuvenate.

To celebrate the completion of another round of teaching, we participated in what I hope will be an on-going family tradition. As part of a local ethnic festival, I ran the 15K and STK & TLO walked the 5K. Considering I spent most of the last year treating a screwed up ankle and didn't really get into honest to goodness training until the last week of May, I did pretty well. Last year, I ran the race in 1:12, placed 4th in the 30-39 age group, and 44th overall. This this year, I ran the race in 1:07, placed 2nd in the 30-39 age bracket (yes, next year I'll bump up to the 40-49 group--there are some nasty fast runners in that group), and 27th overall. Next year, I'm hoping to improve my time again.

What's in store for the rest of the running season? Provided I avoid any training difficulties, I'm shooting for a half marathon at the end of August. There's also a really flat 8K at a local Oktoberfest that Dr. OneDink and I ran last year; we've talked about participating in that race again this year. More than anything, I'm thankful the previous year's ankle difficulties appear to be a thing of the past. Oh, I'll always have a little bit of pain, but nothing that should keep me on the sideline. Thank the Maker for orthotics. In other words, molded plastic kicks ass.

Fallacies!

For the better part of the afternoon I've been surfing the web, trolling library databases, and thumbing through books, all in an attempt to pull together a rhetorical theory course that meets my approval. The major problem, as I've blogged before, is the lack of a good textbook. So, I essentially make my own textbook using all the resources at my disposal. The process is incredibly time consuming, not to mention boring, but I don't know any other way to pull together the class I want to teach. Several colleagues suggested I write a textbook of my own. Great idea . . . if I had three years to spare. Someday? Maybe.

Despite the nature of the task, I manage to run across some engaging stuff (for a rhetoric geek, I suppose). I found, for example, a digital copy of Plato's Gorgias. I also stumbled across the following site--anyone who engages in public debate, of any kind, should bookmark this handy resource.

Fallacies.

This is an excellent page listing most of the major fallacies a person is likely to encounter. The format of the site is handy, too. Read it. Memorize it. Use it.

Updated Predictions

As promised, here's a run down of the predictions.

Michael has his predictions posted on All Now Mysterious...
---
Lord Mhoram offered the following:

Okay - and some are similiar to yours.

Harry's scar is a horcrux. The fabled last word of the book being scar will be something like "And Harry looked into a mirror and saw no scar"

Snape is in fact a deep cover agent, and will have a rather unpleasent death, saving the cause, but the same actions will save Harry, making Harry feel even worse about him and Snape (as after getting Snapes memory of his father).

One of the twins, and at lest 1 other of the Weasly clan will kick off. It would be pure continuing symbolism if it is dear old Dad, and Harry marries Ginny. Harry has beeen thrice orphaned, and loves the Weaslys - if Mr Weasly dies before Harry joins the family it would be sad, put fitting.

One of the major supporting cast (other than the inner circle) kicks it - I'm going for Hagrid or MgGonnigle. It could also be Ginny - depends on how depressing JKR wants to make it - but one of the closest people to Harry goes. Although Lupin just doesn't feel right for this.
---
The Alabama Hick predicts:

I hope the last Harry Potter doesn't degenerate into a shoot-em-up at the end with the "good" guys triumphant and the "bad" guys dead. We'll see if JKR really is another JRRT. I hope the "good" people realize that being "good" means they don't go around killing people - even "bad" ones. Otherwise, what, really, is the difference between the two groups?

Aside from that aside, here are my predictions.

Easy - Arthur Weasley will be the new Minister of Magic. Honest, hardworking, many years of service to the magical community.

Harder - Draco saves Harry or some other major character. Surely we are not destined to repeat the mistakes of our parents. Furthermore, he doesn't die either, but survives and tries to heal the rift between the pure and mud bloods.

Hardest - Snape. I have no idea. Damn that JKR is good!

Seeing as how I've punted on Snape, I'll have to make another prediction. Harry dies in the end. In fact, he never really lived. Harry Potter, the baby, was killed by Voldemort. Voldemort "inadvertently" created a horcrux out of Harry. The spirt of Harry is actually the good nature of Voldemort himself. That is why "neither can live while the other survives." They are the same person and they need to be made whole again. Dumbledore, of course, knew this the whole time. He sincerely cared for young Tom Riddle and wanted to help him. He also cared for older Tom Riddle AKA Voldemort, even after all the trouble.
---
Bob makes a rather cryptic prognostication:

Harry sits at a Dinner. Screen goes black, most think that the cable has "gone Out"
---

I should have my copy of the book in hand a little after midnight. We have to drive an hour away to attend one of the late night book premieres. Has there ever been a midnight release for a book before the Harry Potter series? With a little luck, and perseverance, I should be finished by Sunday. I'd probably be finished Saturday night if I could get up Saturday morning and read straight on through. With a kid and puppy in the house, that's not very likely.

Predicting Harry

The latest movie just debuted, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows hits bookstores in roughly 72 hours, and spoilers have already hit the web. There's only one thing to do: offer our own fearless predictions. I'm inviting everyone to play along. There are only two rules.

1. Make a prediction regarding Harry's ultimate fate.
2. Offer up to three additional predictions for supporting characters, unresolved plot lines, etc.

If you offer your predictions on your own blog, please make note of the prediction in the comments and I'll post a direct link. If you don't have a blog, or don't want to clutter your own cyberspace with Harry Potter predictions, offer your thoughts in the comments and I'll copy/paste to my blog.

For the record, I'm a Harry Potter fan but not a raving lunatic who has read every book a dozen times. I'm read each book once and I'm not about to go back and look at a single thing when making my predictions. Harry Potter is fun for me, not an obsession. Here goes.

The Fate of Harry Potter. It seems crystal clear to me that Harry is actually a horcrux. At the very least, the infamous scar is a horcrux. Voldemort intended to use Harry's murder to create a final horcrux, the spell was disrupted, and V rushed the spell to completion using the materials at hand: Harry Potter. This isn't a very original; I've seen tons of people make a similar observation. Here's my twist: Voldemort's spell had an unintended effect. While Harry is a horcrux of Voldemort, Voldemort is a horcrux of Harry. In the final book, Voldemort will ultimately destroy Harry (with the intention of fixing the spell gone bad and creating a new horcrux via his murder). As Voldemort is a horcrux of Harry, Harry can't be destroyed. Harry's essence springs forth from Voldemort, vanquishing the Dark Lord in the process. Voldemort's desire for immortality turns out to be his downfall.

Fred or George Weasley Must Die. One, but not both, will meet his doom in the final book. The death will be an act of selflessness, an act of sacrifice to protect others. This is what it means to be a Weasley (except for that weasel Percy--what's up with that guy?)

Redeeming Severus Snape. Snape hasn't returned to the Dark Side and he hasn't been a double agent since Voldemort's disappearance. Snape has remained in faithful service to Dumbledore and, in fact, will play a crucial role in defeating the minions of Voldemort. Operating from the inside, Snape will be the crucial piece of grit in the gears. At the end of the book, Snape will be appointed the permanent Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Until a few days ago, I predicted Snape as the the Headmaster of Hogwarts. Dr. OneDink and STK convinced me to moderate my position.

Mad Eye Mayhem. A soldier to the very end, Moody won't be around to enjoy the conclusion of the story. He goes down with his eye spinning and his wand blazing.

Careful Out There

For all you geek types who frequent geek websites: the end of Harry Potter has apparently been spoiled on the Intertubes. This is not the same spoiler rumor floating around a few weeks back. At least one "spoiler" has scanned, and made available as proof of authenticity, a few pages from the final chapter/epilogue. I'm not going to post the link to the site that's linking to the spoilers. That would be like, well, offering booze to an alcoholic.

I didn't look at the spoilers as we're picking our copy up on Saturday. Any guesses as to what I'll be doing on Saturday and Sunday?

Focus

Focus,
not on the rudenesses of others,
not on what they've done
or left undone,
but on what you
have & haven't done
yourself.

-Dhammapada, 4, translation by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

The Feast: 151

Friday's Feast: 151*

Appetizer: What is your favorite fruit?
This is a really tough question as I love fruit. Bananas are probably my favorite, but I could also make a case for pears, apples (braeburns or granny smith), or a crunchy peach (crunchy, like an apple. I don't like the consistency of smushy peaches).

Soup: Who is someone you consider as a great role model?
Obi-wan Kenobi. Seriously. Someday, I'll spend an hour or so and put together an essay on why I admire Kenobi so much. He's spiritual, decisive, reflexive, and fallible.

Salad: If you were to spend one night anywhere within an hour of your home, where would you choose?
In a corn or soybean field, most likely. There's really not much within an hour. We could camp at any number of riverside campgrounds.

Main Course: Name something you do too often.
Complain. I've become the most negative people I know. Not sure what that's about but it needs to change.

Dessert: Fill in the blank: I really like ___________ because ____________.
I really like running because it's the only time I stop thinking.

Indentured Servitude

I read the following quip in a discussion thread at Crooked Timber:

"Grad students are of course subject to feudal rather than modern conceptions of authority."

That is so unbelievably true. When I was a first year graduate student, the department chair approached me and asked me to serve drinks and hors douvres at our school sponsored national convention party. For those not familiar with national academic conventions: it's not unusual for schools of note to throw parties for former graduates, friends of the program, etc. A savvy grad student convention goer can avoid paying a single penny on food if he or she concentrates on getting invites to these exclusive gigs. There aren't many breakfast or lunch parties (or any), but if you can survive on cheese, crackers, fruit, and veggies (maybe even a dessert of some kind) once a day, you'll be a frugal traveler. * Yes, many of the parties have a door person who checks your invite. Unbeknownst to me at the time is that it's common practice to have graduate students act as waitpersons for these events. So, I looked at the department chair and said, "Uh, no." I didn't realize it at the time, but saying "no" is something of a faux pas. As I would discover over the years, graduate students are cheap labor for departments.

Grad students often take on a variety of roles: babysitter, taxi driver, mover, and what not. There's always the role of "research team member." What this means is that graduate students lucky enough to be on a research team spend inordinate amounts of unpaid time--as if they don't have their own research and grading--conducting interviews, administering surveys, and coding texts for a faculty member. Said faculty member than takes the work of the graduate students, writes it up, and publishes it. The grad students get a gratify passing mention in a footnote. I even received mention in an "Acknowledgment."

I think my most vivid memory of grad students as beasts of burden occurred, once again, at a National Convention. Dr OneDink and I were trying to rhetoric our way into some of the big parties when we heard quite a commotion from the other end of the hall. Approaching a rather raucous room (the parties are often held in hotel suites), we were almost run down as a rather distinguished scholar did his best Ben-Hur imitation atop a chariot, er, luggage cart propelled by a handful of giggling female grad students. I may be embellishing the memory, but I believe Ben-Hur tossed his head back and howled with laughter as he zoomed down the hall. I'm almost certain there was a drink in one hand. Or did that go without saying?

*If you're lucky enough to smoke and drink coffee, this is no problem.

On the Road Again . . .

A few odds and end I've been meaning to post.

*We're headed out of town tomorrow for a "quick" jaunt to Bismarck, ND. A is heading off to Iraq later this month and is home visiting his mother, my ex-wife, who now lives in ND. So, 9 hour drive tomorrow, spend the day with A on Saturday, 9 hour drive Sunday to return home. Good thing I love to drive.

*Remember that ankle problem about which I've been complaining for the better part of a year? After cortisone, physical therapy, and reduced impact exercise provided little relief, we finally went with orthotics. I'm running again with very little pain. Do I still hurt a bit after a 7 mile run? Yes, but it's totally manageable. Switching my running schedule to no more than every other day--cross training & weights on "off" days--is also helping. I do have early onset of osteoarthritis in the ankle and there's not a whole heck of a lot that can be done about that. Thankfully, Naproxen takes the edge off on the days when the pain becomes an annoying distraction. My doc has given me the preliminary okay to run a 15K in July and a half marathon in late August. I'm presently up to the 7 mile mark on my long run day and I'm cruising 5-6 miles on moderate days. STK and I are also walking for roughly on hour every morning.

*I finally decided to take the reliable Civic in for some serious preventative maintenance. I'm replacing the clutch (it's been slipping a tiny bit for several years and I finally decided to replace the thing before STK gets stranded during her commute)and a couple valves that may be contributing to an undetermined idle problem (car is still running smoothly but does a slight idle surge at times--the problem has the Honda tech guys stumped). I think there may be a problem with the exhaust system, too. I noticed a new sound a couple days ago that smacks of "hole in muffler" or something. I crawled under the car but couldn't locate the problem myself. Time to leave it up to the pros. All told, I'm probably looking at $1500-2000 in maintenance. Love those cars, eh? Actually, I can't really complain. I've had the car for 12 years and it has 176,000 miles. Would you believe it still gets 45+ miles per gallon? Considering the car has had no serious mechanical problems beyond routine maintenance (belts, hoses, brakes, etc), I'd say I'm still running way in the black ::knocks on wood::

*The puppy, who we pick up on July 23, will be named Malcolm. That's the name TLO seems to like the best. Every time we give him the list of options, he usually says that he likes Mal. Mal it is. I bought Mal a brown collar a few days back. Geek world! Geek world. Party time! Excellent!

*Looks like we're making another run to Colorado around the 2nd of August or so. We need another shot of urban living before heading into the school year.

And with that, I'd better head off to bed. Lot's of driving tomorrow and we can't hit the road until around 3 PM. That means at least a few hours of late night driving. With a bit of luck, we should arrive at our hotel around midnight. I'm not sure we'll have internet access in the hotel so I may be out of internet contact for a couple days. I know all of you are just dying to reach me.

Weekly Reader: Mikhail, Mammoths, and Movie Merchandising

Mikhail Bakhtin. Good read on Bakhtin, a theorist who popped up frequently in my dissertation. The guy rolled cigarettes with some of his philosophical musings. Now that's an addiction.

Mammoths to Return? Paleolithic Park, anyone?

Movie Merchandising. Check out the #1 great moment in merchandising history. You don't know the power of the dark side! Speaking of merchandising, STK and I took in the 2.5 hour Transformers commercial over the 4th . . . and freaking loved it! Plot was light, effects were fantastic, and the entire experience was fun, fun, fun. We had so much fun that we'll probably see this in the theater for a second time. I haven't done that since a Star Wars movie. Would you believe I even got a little weepy eyed when Optimus talked about the importance of protecting humanity?

No Respect

Just when I thought I couldn't despise this president any more, he pulls yet another freakin' stunt.

Commuting Libby.

Paris Hilton serves three weeks for violating parole. Libby serves zero time for committing perjury in a case involving the intentional leak of a CIA operative's identity. Unfreakinbelievable.

Uh, No

Had a student request a Saturday meeting as a result of her poor planning. Any guesses as to my response?

Feast

Friday's Feast for Friday, 29 June 2007

Appetizer--How many pieces of jewelry do you wear most days?
Varies from day to day but on a light day I wear 14 pieces of jewelry: 9 piercings, 4 rings, and a necklace. I'm not counting my wrist jellies--I typically wear 3 on the left wrist and 7 on the right.

Soup--What is your favorite instrumental song?
Great question. I'll skip the classics and go with something more poppy: the theme from Star Trek: DS9.

Salad--Who has a last name that you like?
Obi-wan Kenobi.

Main Course--Name a popular movie you’ve never seen.
Titanic. I won't see anything that unseated Star Wars as the biggest money maker of all time. Want to know how it ends? The boat sinks.

Dessert--Fill in the blank: Nothing makes me ___________ like ____________.
Nothing makes me excited like finding out about new Star Wars projects.

Dog Days

I've been suffering from a great deal of guilt the last couple weeks. Dargo, the dog we rescued a few months back, made it quite clear that we weren't the family for him. Despite months of trying to help him feel more at home--months of kitchen messes, chewed toys, and wrecked crates--it finally became apparent he needed a home with an outdoor kennel or people who are home most of the time. A couple months ago everything seemed to be going well. Within the last six weeks, however, his destructive behavior escalated to the point that we were concerned he was going to tear up the kitchen floor, chew the cabinets, etc. So, Dargo returned to the rescue from whence he came. And I feel awful about it. I know it was the right thing to do, but I just feel terrible. He was an awesome dog . . . when we were home. The foster person at the rescue reminded me that they'd find him a more appropriate home and that he won't be euthanized. Thank goodness for folks who care, I suppose.

On a far more positive note, we stumbled across a new puppy. One of my students heard about the recent dog difficulties and connected us with a local family trying to get rid of puppies. The puppies--yellow lab and black farm dog mutt mix--will be ready for pick up in a little under a month. While puppies are definitely frustrating, we'll at least have a hand in training this dog from the outset and the kind of long term destructiveness issues we encountered with Dargo are highly unlikely. Yes, we'll have to deal with house training, a chewed shoe or two, and dominance issues with TLO. After a full year, however, most of those problems will dissipate with consistent training. That's something we couldn't provide Dargo; at two years of age, there were some behavioral issues that weren't ever going to change.

So, while we're sad at one departure we're looking forward to a new arrival. We picked a male puppy that has a black coat with just a wisp of white on his chest and chin (kind of looks like my tiny little soul patch). Leading contenders for names include:

Malcolm (he'd be called Mal)
Kaladi (Kal, for short. A nod to my favorite coffee house and Superman's Kryptonian name)
Severus (my present favorite)

Listen up, you primitive screwheads.

Bruce Campbell alert! Bruce is co-starring in a new show on USA Network:*

Burn Notice.

While I'm a huge fan of USA programming--Monk, Psych, 4400, Dead Zone--I really didn't have much interest in this show until I found out, just minutes ago, that Bruce Campbell is part of the cast. This has now risen to "Must See" status.

Hail to the king, baby.

Returned

We drove into the garage around 4 AM this morning, thus completing our two week Colorado journey. This is probably the last time we'll do the 16 hour drive straight through. I don't know if we're getting old or what, but we were really dragging the last couple hours. Would you believe two weeks wasn't enough time to do everything we wanted to do? Despite missing out on Fashion Nation, the new location of the Tattered Cover/Twist & Shout, the Botanic Gardens, and the newly renovated art museum, we did spend tons of time with friends and family. Some of the highlights of the trip follow.

• Kaladi Bros, Kaladi Bros, and more Kaladi Bros. As STK's folks live less than five minutes from the coffee house, you can bet I made multiple stops every single day.
• Finally meeting Nancy, Michael's wife. Michael finally meeting TLO. TLO's middle name is Michael. The connection is intentional.
• Spending a ton of time with M, C, and their little one, R. If anything happens to STK and I--knock on wood--TLO will live with M & C.
• Quality family time. No major disagreements. This trip was, without a doubt, the most pleasant time I've spent with my family as an adult.
• The VNV Nation show. I will never understand why people find the "live" performance of computerized electronic music all that engaging--three songs into the show I was kicking myself for not bring a book--but it was awesome to see all our long lost friends. Totally worth the price of admission. For the record: I really like listening/dancing to VNV Nation, but I won't ever see them "live" again. It's too much like watching the lead singer do karaoke to his own album.
• TLO's birthday and Father's Day fell on the same day. For Father's Day, I went for a long 7.5 mile run and then shuffled off to--you guessed it--Kaladi Bros! By the time I returned home from Kaladi Bros, TLO's birthday brunch was set to begin. STK's family showered TLO with good food, gifts, and more attention than he could handle. We repeated the ritual later that afternoon with my folks. Birthday cake twice in one day? Heaven!
• Tattoos. STK and I made what has become our annual pilgrimage to see Jen at Mantra Tattoo. STK finally took the plunge and inked a piece she designed over the course of the last year. Stretching across the top of her back, the piece took almost three hours. My piece, a small triskele on my left wrist, took less than an hour. I'll post pics when the healing process if finishing.
  

I know I'm missing several "most excellent" moments, but those are the major highlights. We're headed back in August for another 7-10 days, I think. Here's to seeing those we missed on the most recent journey!

Bushwhacked!

Yes, it's been even longer than usual in terms of my sporadic updates. The lack of posts is not without reason, however. First, we're in the middle of a two week foray to the homeland: Colorful Colorado! Second, and this is really why I haven't been able to post for several days, is that I had a rather stupid accident roughly nine days ago.

While trimming the hedges with an electric trimmer, I somehow managed to mistake my left index finger and thumb for a piece of shrubbery. For the record, human flesh does not provide the same amount of resistance as wood. When the accident occured, I leapt out of the shrubs shouting a very loud "frak!", peered down at my mangled fingers, and shouted to STK that we should head to the Emergency Room post haste. Unfortunately, I do not do well with my own blood. I'll save all the gory details but I came extremely close to passing out while STK raced us to the hospital.

No permanent damage, but a bunch of painful stitches. I'm not sure how aesthetically pleasing my fingers will be--they were pretty torn up--but they will be fully functional.* And that's what counts. When I sat in the emergency room, not knowing the full extent of the damage, I feared some kind of long-lasting damage. I'm damn lucky I didn't lose a finger.

As we left the Emergency Room, my fingers pieced together and wrapped up in pressure bandages that looked like white dill pickes, I turned to STK and said, "If this isn't an excellent argument for hiring someone to do the hedgues, I don't know what is."

*I could finally type with no pain yesterday. Stitches will come out in a little under a week.

Revvin up the Powerful Mach 5

Anyone remember the old Speed Racer cartoon? I used to love this show!



The Wachowski brothers, of Matrix fame, are apparently making a live action version of the gig. Check out the cool photo of the Mach 5.

I'm not a huge fan of this recycle all the old movies/television shows trend we're seeing in Hollywood, but I have to admit I'm intrigued enough by this idea to give it a look see.

Go, Speed Racer! Go!

iTunage

Here's a question for all the music geeks: what's the dealio on burning copies of an album purchased from iTunes? Once I "buy" the digital copy, do I have unfettered access to making CD copies for my car? Can I burn a "regular" audio CD that will play in my car? The reason I ask is that I'm pretty tough on car CDs and it's not uncommon to trash a CD within a year or two. I'd rather buy my music via CD, but we live in a remote location and if you want anything other than pretty mainstream stuff it's mail order only. Given that theStart is putting out a new CD on Tuesday and I have no way of getting the album here in town, I thought I'd check out the iTunes thing.

UPDATE: Nevermind. I checked the iTunes Help file and found my answer. Seems like a pretty easy process and I can burn the album 7 times. What's to keep me from burning an audio disc, then taking the disc and ripping a copy on another computer? Will that copy have some kind of anti-copying protection? This is all so ridiculous to me. If I buy the album, I should be able to burn as many personal copies as I see fit. Whatever happened to the days of recording a vinyl album to cassette tape?

Conversation Realities: Nuts

Me: I've had just about enough of this behavior. You're driving me nuts!
TLO: Peanuts!
Me: No, not peanuts. Not the kind of nuts you can eat, but nuts as in insane.
TLO: Peanuts!

::STK just laughs at the entire exchange::

Worst 416 Weeks Ever

Carter, a Democrat, said on Saturday in an interview with the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette that "as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this administration has been the worst in history."

Are the Democrats paying attention to Carter? This is how you go about taking a President to task. Carter may have been a below average President, but I'd say he's achieved the "Excellent" level as a humanitarian.

UPDATE: After reflecting on this article further, I can't believe the White House is characterizing a Nobel Peace Prize winner as "increasingly irrelevant." Typical. Anybody who disagrees with or criticizes this administration is apparently irrelevant, including the majority of US American citizens.

Pitching, Peruvian Calendar, and Pop Culture Prof

Pitching. Why wouldn't major league owners, managers, and pitching coaches be all over this guy? A significant reduction in pitching injures would benefit everyone. Something doesn't align correctly.

Peruvian Calendar. More proof that we're not as advanced as we like to think. Ancient civilizations were far more advanced than we give credit. We have some fancy new gadgets with which to do the calculations, but an understanding of the science has been around for millennia. Peru, particularly Machu Picchu, is on my Must See In This Lifetime list.

Popular Culture Ambassador. I'm not sure if I'd love or hate being this popular. While it would be cool to be viewed as the expert in a given field, who the heck wouldn't go crazy from 80 phone calls a day? Yikes.

Mr. Adams, dear Mr. Adams

The new John Adams coin entered circulation today.

Guess who's going to the bank tomorrow to pick up a $25 roll?

The Case of the Suspicious File

Team teaching presents some interesting challenges. For instance, a student who is notorious for missing deadlines claims a missing paper was submitted to my colleague. Said college says the paper was never submitted. Good guy that I am, I approach the student in class and ask that another copy of the paper be sent to me via email attachment. Immediately. A day goes by and still no paper. I email said student with a friendly reminder. Nothing.* Four days after the final exam, nine days from the original request, I receive an email attachment of the paper. Typically, I'd just enter a zero in the grade book for a late paper. But, seeing that I'm team teaching and I don't know whether said colleague really received paper (and proceeded to misplace it--something that has happened with some regularity this semester) or not, I'm in something of a quandry. The stuff with my colleague aside, something doesn't feel right about the paper; I don my sleuth hat and get to work.

A quick check of the paper's electronic "Properties" reveals potential evidence of chicanery. According to the "Properties" of the file, the paper was created yesterday and edit time was roughly two hours. The elapsed editing time from moment of creation to moment of last modification and emailing to me matches up perfectly. I suspect this paper was written the day it was emailed to me.

Do I enter the zero, accept the paper as late and dock it points, or simply accept the paper as legit and grade accordingly? I'm almost positive this thing was written yesterday, but I suppose I could be wrong. If the student wrote the paper in another format and converted the file all the "Properties" data would change. Still, the edit time would apply to the newly created/converted file, right?

With the exception of this remaining file, all my grading is complete. I'm waiting to here from another colleague with whom I team taught--not the one from the above narrative--to make sure we're in agreement on final grades. I'm essentially finished one day ahead of schedule. w00t!

*This is atypical behavior for me. I believe students are adults and should be treated as such. Don't heed my call for another copy? Fine. Natural consequences = zero.

Fragments

I'm scattered every which way for the next few days. This post reflects that state of mind.

Another semester should be in the books by no later than Friday. Two sections of final exams graded--one left tomorrow AM. For any number of reasons this has been a semester to put behind me. Starting in the fall, I focus all my attention on teaching classes in my area of specialization.

A colleague defined me as little more than a novelty yesterday afternoon. I'm the new guy on campus, according to this particular prof, and my current popular status will soon wane. In five years, when my classes are still drawing students at the same rate, I plan on serving a big ol' platter of crow.

I unleashed the rhetorical black boot on a neighbor two days ago. While walking the dog, our neighbor's yellow lab came flying out the garage, down the driveway, into the street, went straight for Dargo*, and landed a couple substantial bites. I immediately went at the lab and managed to back him down. By that time, the neighbor ran out of the house and grabbed the dog. My response: "Jesus Christ! Get your dog on a goddamn leash. Fucking A!" Neighbor: "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry."

*Dargo is chocolate lab/Chesapeake retriever mix that we adopted in February. I haven't blogged about him because, quite frankly, we didn't know whether he would remain a member of our household. He was easy enough to house train, but he's a real pistol when it comes to confinement. We tried crate training and he ripped the metal door right off the crate. We finally figured out how to barricade him in the kitchen without too much trouble. If we leave anything within his reach--a newspaper, a paper bag, a plastic water jug--it's destroyed when we return home. When we're at home, not a problem. Go figure. Anyway, we've decided we'll work out any remaining problems over time. He's great with G and that's the most important thing.

Tiger, You Just Hit the Jackpot . . .

And then some.



I absolutely love comic books but this kind of blatant sexism drives me up a frelling wall. Seriously. Shall we count the problems with this maquette?

1. Objectification. MJ has always been sexually objectified but this takes the cake. Check out those low ride jeans! If they were any lower on MJ's hips we'd have intimate knowledge of her shaving habits. Do I even need to make a comment about the thong? She has enough cleavage to set off Peter's spider-sense. Those things would be a real danger when Peter and MJ . . . Do I need to spell it out?

2. Trivialization. Good to know that a strong character like MJ knows her place: in the laundry room. Way to wash out those Spider-tights. Did you catch the June Cleaver pearls around her neck. Torn hip huggers and pearls? Who comes up with this crap?

3. Dehumanization. That pose suggests doing something and it ain't laundry. For all you minors out there, that's what we call a porno pose. Is MJ starring in adult films, now? There's nothing human about MJ--she's a sex toy.

I could go on and on and on but others have been doing so for days. Suffice it to say that when I see something like this, I give some real thought to whether or not this is an industry I wish to support with my money.

Weekly Reader: Cubs, Commander Guy, and Cool Looking Phones

Cubs. Watch out! The Chicago Cubs are above .500 and ready to pounce on their National League Central rivals the Milwaukee Brewers. Of course, the Cubs will probably lose the next five straight just to make my life miserable. Still, the five game winning streak has been a nice salve to the nasty wound I received from the Nuggets. Freakin' team. I hate how they break my heart every. damn. year. Give me the summer to recuperate and I'll be praising Kenyon Martin's return as the move that will vault the Nuggets into true contender status. I'm such a sucker.

Commander Guy. Decider guy. Commander guy. I have no clue guy. I've been trying to avoid the realm of politics and the Iraq war these days. My son, A, heads for his tour of duty in late July and every time I read a report about casualties, I wince a little. Whenever I think about Commander Guy running the show . . . man, I don't know what to think. Fuck war. What a stupid way to solve problems.

Cool Looking Phones. A phone as a fashion accessory, eh? I am so behind the times. I use my cell phone to make myself available to TLO's daycare and STK, not to look cool. I can't take pictures, surf the web, or any of that fancy stuff. I have to admit, though, that when I flip my phone open I sometimes make the Star Trek communicator sound in my head and have an overwhelming urge to say, "Stevens to Valiant. One to beam up."

What does it Mean?

Yesterday, while TLO and I were taking our morning nap, I had a weird dream. The fact that I even remembered a dream is weird enough--I rarely remember my dreams--but the content made absolutely no sense.

The dream took place in our present abode. As TLO and I walked up the stairs to the second floor, Gene leaned over the rail and said, "hello." He was holding a cheap bakery cake (chocolate, white frosting, chocolate sprinkles sitting on a black plastic plate and covered with a clear plastic shield) in one hand and a black stealth cell phone in the other. The cell phone looked like it was made out of the material from a stealth fighter, complete with all the non-right angles.

And that was the dream. I'm still scratching my head over that one.

Avalanche!

Ever have a week or two where everything comes crashing down at once? Not in a bad way, but just so much going on that you feel like you absolutely cannot get caught up in any facet of your life? That's me. It started last week with Episode III: Revenge of TLO's Pneumonia--he stayed sick for the better part of a week. STK and I scrambled to make work arrangements that minimized our absence from the classroom. Thankfully, I'm team teaching two classes this semester and only had to cancel one class despite the fact that I was home with TLO for two full days.

With classes wrapping up a week from Thursday, I'm swamped at school. The moment I finish grading papers, another wave comes crashing into my office. 50 papers and 16 speeches will need grading this weekend. Yippee! Time to earn my pay, I suppose. With the exception of midterm, the rest of the semester is very manageable. Four weeks of craziness and eleven weeks of manageable. Not all that bad. If everything goes as planned, I should be finished with final grades and all by Friday, May 18.

Back to the grading!

Before I forget, Happy Beltane!

WTF Department: Drive Cancelled?

While cruising my normal popular culture websites, I ran into a disturbing article: the lovely dolts at Fox have given Drive the ax after what amounts to four episodes. Let me repeat that: four episodes. Another halfway smart and engaging television series thrown on the scrap heap before it can gain any momentum. What is wrong with people? How is it that crap like American Idol and Dancing with the Has Beens can pull in the ratings and anything that's remotely interesting can't? Seriously, I'm not that out of touch with the rest of our culture, but I just can't figure out the viewing tastes, or lack thereof, of the US American audience. I think I'll quit trying to watch shows on a first run basis and do everything via Netflix. It's not even worth my time to try and support anything new on the major networks.

UPDATE: Found the following while perusing the Talk Back at Ain't it Cool News. Read 'em. Memorize 'em. chromedome speaks nothing but the truth.

1) Fox doesn't care about you

2) Fox will screw you over every chance they get

3) Never EVER pay attention to a new Fox show until it is well into its second season

4) Watch other networks at every opportunity

5) Support Sponsors of Shows that are given a fair shot (these will NOT be on Fox)

6) Post your concerns on Message Boards, sign petitions for your own venting, but see rule 1 above

7) Minear should read these rules. ANYONE ELSE BUT FOX, TIM!!*

*Minear, the man behind Drive, was also involved with Angel and Wonderfalls. If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know how much I've enjoyed all his projects. Sorry, Tim.

Freeze Meister

A student emailed and asked for an extension on a paper. A friend from high school died and the student was rather shocked to hear the news. No travel to a funeral or anything, but not able to do any work. I rejected the request for an extension. Am I being cold and callous or are there times in our lives when we need to deal with tragedy and continue on with our day to day affairs?

Thoughts of Death

Infected with the plague that incapacitated my family a few days earlier, I spent Monday night tossing, turning, trying to sleep. Sweating, yet wracked with the chills, I spent a good two hours half listening to the Coast to Coast AM discussion of the Virginia Tech tragedy. As if that wasn't enough death for one day, STK and I had watched the concluding episode of Six Feet Under just a few hours earlier. Somewhere in the intersecting chaos of my thoughts regarding Virginia Tech, Six Feet Under, and death in general, inspiration struck. This kind of thing happens to me from time to time, particularly in terms of academics. I'm in that state where I'm not really asleep, but not totally awake. I'm tossing/turning/making myself hold still/breathing deeply, not really aware of exactly what's going on except for the fact that I can't sleep, and the idea/solution pops into my head. 12 years ago I solved a major case of writer's block on my MA thesis. Three years ago I fixed an an organizational problem with a dissertation chapter. A few nights back, I think I stumbled on a book worthy idea.

The idea revolves around the way we conceptualize, and engage in public discourse (not the rhetoric focus), about death. According to a number of philosophers/theorists (Derrida, Levinas, Heidegger, etc.), our beliefs regarding death influence our subjectivity significantly. In other words, the way we interpret/constitute notions of death will significantly influence the way we live; the way we live will significantly influence our beliefs regarding death. I'm not doing the concept of subjectivity, or death, justice with my current musings but I'll get it down in time. So, the theory part of the book would concentrate on unpacking various theorists (Starhawk and The Pagan Book of Living and Dying will make an appearance somewhere along the line) and their thoughts on the relationship between death and subjectivity. My role as a theorist/academic becomes prominent when I take these philosophical musings and illuminate the implications for the way we communicate subjectivity in various and sundry ways. If my work continues its current direction, I'll likely pursue a discussion of how our public discourses regarding death implicate a communicative ethic.

Having put forth the basic theory, the subsequent chapters would explore several case studies of public discussions of death. One chapter might focus on the constitution of death/dying/life in television shows, another might focus on the refusal on the part of the Bush administration to allow photographs of soldiers' coffins. One of the chapters would definitely focus on public discourse surrounding major tragedy (Virginia Tech or Columbine).

Inspiration strikes, maybe? Once the semester is finished--only fourteen days of class remain--I'll seek out the advice of a mentor or two and see what happens.

In the mean time, my department chair is encouraging me to submit one of my present research projects as a potential presentation for a campus wide lecture series. The series revolves around the question: "What is a text?" Typically, lectures in this series revolve around literary works, classic and contemporary. My work suggests a need to redefine text, or at least consider why some texts are designated "legitimate" while others or not. I'm sure some of the English folks on our campus would roll their eyes at the idea of my work being included in the series, which is why I'll probably submit a proposal. I'll write something up this week and see what happens.

Are You Kidding Me?

So, I'm reading through a draft of a major research project for one of my students who's doing some work on contemporary spectacular subcultures. I finish the introduction and think to myself, "That's an excellent thesis and preview paragraph. Very well written. And oddly familiar. Wait a minute, that's my thesis and preview! That's the preview for my journal article!"

This student used all my signposts "First," "In the second section," etc., as well as the basic sentence structure, and inserted their own research topics in place of my own. I'm always telling students to look at journal articles as a template for their own writing. This is taking it a bit too far. At least have the sense to pilfer someone else's work, for Pete's sake.

::bangs head on desk::