War of the Worlds!

Uh oh. We'd better keep on eye on Mars.

NASA Asks: Life on Mars?
So Does the ESA

I've been following this developing story for quite some time. In the Fall of 2004, I heard a guest on Coast to Coast AM--I listen as I fall asleep--talk about a scientist who was poised to release similar info, much of which was based on the concentrations of methane, at a scientific conference in Europe. For whatever reason, the scientist pulled his presentation at the last second. If I remember the conversation correctly, the guest on the show speculated that the evidence was pulled for one of two reasons: 1) a last minute error was discovered in the research; or 2) suppression of data by the powers-that-be. The guest supported the suppression of evidence by governmental folk. There are those who believe that the "ordinary" person will be deeply disturbed by the discovery of life on a celestial body other than Earth. Theologically, the possibility of life throughout the universe presents some unique challenges to a number of religious belief systems.

As for me, I think the possibility of life on Mars is just plain cool. If life exists so close to home, in our own back yard, it's a pretty good bet that life exists in other solar systems. The worlds of Star Wars and Star Trek may be more realistic than we think.

Valentine's Day in Hell

The following is a real conversation from last evening.

Me: Uh, STK, how would you feel about modifying our Valentine's Day plans?
STK: What did you have in mind?
Me: Well, I just a recieved an invite for a free screening through the Film Society for tomorrow night.
STK: Really? What film?
Me: Constantine.
STK: Oh, yeah! What time do we need to be there?
Me: Screening starts at 7. We'll probably need to be there about 5:30 or so to guarantee our tickets. What about dinner?
STK: Popcorn for dinner.

Have I mentioned how lucky I am to have a partner like STK? For those keeping score, Constantine is not the only holiday activity. STK has a dozen roses, her favorite candy, and a personalized card waiting for her to get home from school. I awoke this morning to a card and a gift bag filled with my two favorite kinds of black licorice. Mmmmm.

STK, popcorn, candy, and a trip to Hell with Keanu Reeves (take that however you'd like--it could be his acting that's hellish) . . . a good holiday, I'd say.

Music to Soothe the Savage Feast

Okay, it's more like a feast to soothe the savage feast.

Appetizer What do you want for Valentine's Day?

A completed stack of papers. I'm presently grading 150 think pieces for Communication and Popular Culture.

Soup If you could change the color of something you own, what would it be and which color would you make it?

I think I'd paint one of the walls in my office green.

Salad What's your favorite day of the week and why?

Friday. It's the beginning of my weekend (my last day of teaching is Thursday) and I'm typically very productive.

Main Course What excuse do you use most often?

"Shoot. I have a stack of papers to grade."

Dessert Name something or someone you feel sorry for.

Governor Owens. I can't begin to imagine what it's like to be that stupid. I don't feel like ranting about him right now, but let's just say my hatred of him increased exponentially when he uttered the words, "We may need revisit tenure laws in Colorado."

Yersinia pestis . . . Wanna Touch It?

While most people surround their children with teddy bears and pastel colors, we've decided to go with something a little more unique.

Godzilla Plush Toys!

Microbe Mania

Nothing says love like a plush Godzilla and Hedorah. Gigan, Anguirus, and Mothra are also on the list. King Ghidorah would be AWESOME but that toy is a little difficult to find--some are selling for $60+. A little steep for a toy that will surely be coated in slobber.

STK thinks the Bed Bug and Bookworm are must haves. Can you imagine saying "don't let the bed bugs bite!" and throwing that thing into the bed with a child! That joke will work into the early teen years. Never ending jocularity, I tell you. Personally, I'm kind of partial to The Black Death. Can you imagine the look on someone's face during the following conversation.

Adult: Aaawwwww. That's a cute toy.
TLO: That's Black Death!
Adult: ::stunned:: Uh, what?
TLO: It's the bubonic plague!
Adult: ::nervous laughter::
TLO: Its proper name is yersinia pestis. Wanna touch it?
Adult: ::pulls back and glowers at STK and I:: What are you teaching this child?
STK: ::ignores adult:: Derek, did you hear that? He pronounced yersinia pestis correctly! Nice work, kiddo. We're so proud of you. ::big hug::

Other parents are gonna hate us.

I Have Constructed a New Dissertation.

Around 7 PM last night, I finished a draft of my concluding chapter. The Conclusion isn't anything earth-shattering and doesn't offer any discipline transforming theory; we're talking the basic "here's what I done did" type conclusion. Works for me--let's hope it works for my advisor. After watching the first couple episodes of Wonderfalls with STK (thank the maker for the DVD release of cancelled series), I reformatted every chapter to fit the specs required by the Office of Graduate Studies. All told, the dissertation comes in at 200 pages, a little more with the Works Cited. I'm meeting with KLM, my dissertation writing partner this morning--she'll give me feedback on Chapter Seven and I'll probably ask her to do a quick, on the spot, read of the conclusion. After an afternoon editing session, I should be ready to overwhelm my advisor with a barrage of chapters tomorrow AM.

My skills are complete. Indeed, I am powerful, as the Emperor has foreseen.

Feast Boy

Appetizer - If you were a dog, what breed would you be, and why?

Like Mike, I'd be a black lab. As dogs go, they're the most loyal, kind, and friendly breed out there. The fact that they're both goofy and smart makes them fun to be around, too. Where's the ball?Where's the ball?Where's the ball? Pet me.Pet me.Pet me.

Soup - What does the color purple make you think of?

Feminist spirituality, Hawkeye, and the Grape Ape.

Salad - Approximately how long does it take you to get ready each morning?

1.25 hours. I get up, shower, feed the animals, finalize the wardrobe, spend 15 minutes sipping coffee/reading news/checking email, take the dogs out, kiss STK goodbye, and hit the road by 6:15.

Main Course - How many cousins do you have, and are you close to them?

Eight, I think. I keep tabs on my three maternal cousins. I'm lucky if I see the paternal cousins once every couple of years. Despite my lack of real contact with all of my cousings, my life hasn't suffered one bit.

Dessert - Take your initials (first, middle, last) and come up with something else those letters could stand for. (Example: SFO = Sweet Funny Otter)

Dialectically Reconceptualized Subjectivity

Dawn of the Wireless Internet Age

I ran across this message posted on a live journal site:

Wireless internet has to be one of the greatest inventions of all time...
To be able to fulfill the urge of pooping and emailing at the same time...
Though the rennaisance times tempt me on occasion this would be tough to give up

Holy shit (pun intended) is that funny. Can't wait until I go wireless and can give that a try!

Summarize That

STK and I have scheduled a Presidents' Day weekend journey to the town, and it is a town, in which Small Midwest College is located. STK has yet to see our future hometown firsthand. We'll have an opportunity to get our housing situation finalized, we think. SMC offers transitional housing for new faculty and we're thinking we'll likely take advantage of that perk. I talked to Transitional Housing Guy several weeks back and the school owns several small homes throughout the community, a couple of which are right across the street from campus. According to THG, a three bedroom house that's approximately two minutes from the front door of my office, is ours for the taking (or is that leasing?). How cool will that be? Minutes from work and no commute?! What will I do with the extra three hours in my day? Did I mention that our housing costs, even if we decide to buy a house, will be halved? Yeah, we're sacrificing some aspects of urban life we've come to know and love. Still, SMC is only an hour from two moderate sized cities and two hours from a major metropolitan area (and we have friends who live there). So, we'll be able to get our city slicker fix from time to time. We're looking forward to scoping out the place for a few days.

One of my favorite cartoons of all time is now available on DVD. I am now the proud owner of Superman the Animated Series: Volume One. I absolutely LOVE this version of Superman. The series really captures the personality of Clark Kent/Superman and his commitment to help others, no matter the cost.

Not much else going on in these parts. The Little One continues to grow at what seems like an exponential rate--the last doctor's appointment gave us another "All is Well" report. I can't wait to geekify TLO. We'll have to have some very long talks about not playing with Dad's action figures. Why do I get the feeling I'll probably be buying two of everything in a couple years?

Summarize This!

I wrote the following earlier today:

In the opening pages of Chapter One, I identified the shortcomings of post-subculturalist theory and suggested the need for a new approach to the rhetorical constitution of the subcultural self. During the course of Chapter Two, I charted the development of a phenomenological understanding of rhetorical subjectivity and argued that Schrag’s notion of a performative self provides a new approach to examining the way in which active human agents negotiate the self after postmodernity. While Chapter Three outlined a methodological approach for examining the simultaneous performance of collective and individual subjectivities, my ethnographic description of the goth scene, Chapter Four, provided the groundwork for a thorough application of Schrag’s theory. Chapters Five, Six, and Seven detailed the performance of the subcultural self in discourse, action, and community. In this final chapter I return to the driving questions of this dissertation project: How are individual and collective subjectivities rhetorically constituted, negotiated, and performed, both discursively and non-discursively, in the realm of everyday human interaction? More specifically, how do goths, through the rhetorical articulation of affective individuality directed toward the other, engage in the rhetorical constitution of the subcultural self? How does the subcultural self simultaneously position herself or himself as both a "we", a member of a collective, and an "I", a unique individual? How does the rhetorical performance of the subcultural self contribute to the constitution of a subcultural ideology resistant to hegemonic cultural norms?

That's the opening paragraph to Chapter Eight: The Rhetorical Reclamation of the Subcultural Self. I also refer to Chapter Eight as The Conclusion. That's right, the last chapter of rhetorical analysis is in the hands of my dissertation writing partner for feedback. While she's reading/commenting for a few days, I'm doing the synthesizing of my entire research project. Estimated time of completion for Chapter Eight: Sunday evening. I plan on delivering Chapters Five, Six, Seven, and Eight to my dissertation advisor on Monday morning. I can't begin to explain how tired I am of this project.

Everything You do is Zen

Not thinking about anything is zen. Once you know this, walking, standing, sitting, or lying down, everything you do is zen. To know that the mind is empty is to see the Buddha...Using the mind to look for reality is delusion. Not using the mind to look for reality is awareness. Freeing oneself from words is liberation.

-Bodhidharma

The Path of Feast Resistance

Time for the weekly feast.

Appetizer - If you could have a free subscription to any magazine, which one would you like to have?

National Geographic, Outburn, or Rockrgrl.

Soup - If you were to suddenly become famous, what would you choose as your stage name?

Dirk Plasma.

Salad - What ingredients make an awesome salad? Dressing? Croutons?

Romaine lettuce and fresh leaf spinach. Add cucumbers, bell peppers, black olives, carrots, broccoli, julienned zucchini, garbonzo beans, and a bit of crumbled feta cheese. Top with a light drizzle of balsamic vinaigrette. Mmmmm.

Main Course - What do you like most about your current job?

That I get to talk about my academic loves almost everyday. The students with whom I interact are usually a high point, too.

Dessert - Who is your favorite instrumental musician (not a singer)?

Allen Vizzutti, jazz trumpeter extraordinaire, was my last instrumental musician obsession. I love classical music and jazz, but don't really follow a particular musician.

Iron Who?

The following link sums up my thoughts about the current Warren Ellis run on Iron Man.

Where's Iron Man?

That really cracks me up.

This & That

It's been a busy week. Classes are back in session and I've been scrambling to finish three WebCT sites. I'm hoping that by posting various syllabi, study guides, readings, and assignments, students won't pester me with "can I get a copy of the assignment" type emails. We shall see.

I've also been making the final push on the dissertation. My writing partner and I have a goal of trying to wrap up our current drafts by Wednesday, February 2. I've done some reorganizing of the final analysis chapter and I think I only have about 5 pages left to write. Add another 5-6 pages to the conclusion (I already have 4 pages of the conclusion written) and I should be done.

Later this afternoon, we have another appointment to check TLO (The Little One). I'll update as necessary.

In the Belly of the Feast

Appetizer - What is one quality you really admire about yourself?

I'm an excellent, and enterntaining, teacher. I'm the Bill Nye the Science Guy of communication studies crowd.

Soup - What kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use?

Shampoo: Aveda Clove. Nexxus Botanoil. Nature's Gate Awapuhi.
Conditioner: Aveda Clove. Nexxus Humectress. Aussie Moist.

Good hair products (and all other toiletries, actually) are a necessity. Do I pay more than most for hair products, soap, lotions, and the like? Yep. And it's worth every penny.

Salad - Describe your favorite movie scene. You know, the one that just gets to you every time you watch it.

Shakespeare in Love--The Story of Romeo and Ethyl, a pirate's daughter. When William and Viola perform Romeo and Juliet, a play that mirrors elements of their real life forbidden love, I always weep.

Main Course - If you were a veggie, which one would you be, and why?

Asparagus. It's different, yet cool looking.

Dessert - If you could take a weekend trip within 100 miles of your current residence, where would you like to go?

I'd take STK on a haunted getaway to The Stanley Hotel.

(Brought to you by Friday's Feast)

Peace

Better than a thousand useless words is one word that gives peace.

-Buddha

Idiot

::electronic squawk:: Attention! Attention! James Dobson is an idiot.

Attacking Sponge Bob

That is all.

Howling at the Moon

If you'll excuse me, I'm fresh out Azkaban and in dire need of a good late-night romp in the moonlight.

Your Alter Ego is Sirius Black. You are gifted wizard and loyal to your allegiance. However you can be a little arrogant and reckless at times.

Sirius Black 85% Hermione Granger 85% Harry Potter 80% Severus Snape 75% Ron Weasley 65% Albus Dumbledore 60% Remus Lupin 55% Draco Malfoy 45% Peter Pettigrew 30% Lord Voldemort 30% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

After submitting my results, I had to answer another question. I'm guessing the question was designed to split the Sirius/Hermione tie.

Technological Frustrations

Yesterday was the beginning of my last full semester as an adjunct instructor for my BA and MA alma matter. As in past semesters, I'm teaching a smorgasbord of communication studies courses: Interpersonal Communication, Women and Communication, and Communication and Popular Culture. Despite the addition of a last minute section, everything went without a hitch. Or so I thought . . .

Early last week I contacted the appropriate personnel to confirm the on-line availability of my course readings. "No worries," I was told. I also spent several hours putting together a simple WebCT site for Communication and Popular Culture. Again, all seemed well. Last night, however, I received several frantic emails regarding access to readings and the WebCT site. It turns out that my readings had NOT been posted and, due to a campus wide glitch, one full section of Pop Culture lacked access to my WebCT site. After a couple of well-placed emails, the reading issue is now a thing of the past. The WebCT issue, on the other, may not be resloved until later this week. In the mean time, I get to field bunches of panick emails ("I can't access the site!").

Welcome to the new semester

We're Just Wild About Harry

That Prince Harry is such a scamp! Yikes. Very bad tast in costume, Harry.

Harry History
Royal Heil to Pay

Obviously, good old Harry didn't consider the consequences of his actions. Someone who, from the day of his birth, is trained to perform in the public eye should know better. The royal lineage, immeasureable wealth, and constant public scrutiny aside, I recognize a younger me in a lot of Harry's story; I did some REALLY stupid and insensitive things in my teens and early twenties.

Looking at that picture of Harry again, there has to be some academic work that could be done with the intersection of Nazi imagery, the punk aesthetic, and British royalty.

A Series of Fortunate Events

My string of amazingly good luck continued this week. First, STK and I received some welcome news regarding The Little One: all genetic tests came back AOK. I didn't post about this when it all went down because I didn't want people to freak out. Several weeks ago we received some troubling test results. The test, designed to screen for genetic disorders, indicated TLO was a higher-than-normal risk for Downes Syndrome. A follow-up ultrasound looked encouraging but the doctor reminded us that the only way to be certain was to do an amniocentesis, a procedure which carries a 1/350 risk of miscarriage. After a long eight days we finally received the "All Clear" on Thursday. Although STK and I were ready to provide the love and attention a special needs child requires, we're relieved our child apparently won't have to face genetically-based challenges. We also know the sex of TLO, but I'm not sure I'm ready to reveal that quite yet; STK, on the other hand, has been telling everyone.

Second, I received a call from Small Northeastern University, a school to which I applied VERY early in the application process. Some much time had passed since the application deadline that I assumed I was out of the running. Not so fast. SNU regarded me as a top candidate and wanted to extend an invitation for a campus visit. I thanked the search committee for their consideration and declined graciously (kind of difficult to interview when you've already signed a contract). Following that conversation, I immediately sat down and withdrew my application from any additional searches. In the course of withdrawing, I learned ANOTHER school (Small West Coast University) also had me listed as a top candidate. Feel the love.

Third, the school at which I presently teach offered summer work. So, I'll be teaching one section of Communication and Popular Culture from mid-May to Mid-June. The school also asked if I'd be willing to teach an additional section of Popular Culture this semester; I agreed, of course. The extra $$$ will enable us to pay off some minor debts and hire movers for this summer's Big Adventure.

What's the next fortunate event? Who knows. I'd be pretty content to have the streak end right here.

Mark of the Feast

Appetizer - If you could have a free subscription to any online service, which would you like to have?

Star Wars: Hyperspace

Soup - Describe your bathroom (furnishings, colors, etc.).

Two candles. Basket with cologne and lotions. Crystal sphere.

Salad - What does the shape of a triangle make you think of?

Alcoholics Anonymous. The symbol for AA is a circle with a triangle inside.

Main Course - Name 3 things or activities that you consider to be luxuries.

Exercising at a rec center (exercise is a necessity, the rec center is the luxury). Reading comic books. Cable television.

Dessert - What was the last really great movie you watched?

Hero. Beautiful imagery.

Huygens Has Landed

I'm fascinated by astronomy, astrophysics, astrobiology, and the like. That's probably why I woke up filled with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning. Late last night, sometime around 3 AM, the Huygens Titan probe started its descent toward Titan, the Saturnian moon. The probe survived the journey and now sits on the surface of Titan! Earth scientists should begin receiving data (provided everything is functioning properly) around 10:15 MST. Bring on the data!

UPDATE: Pictures of Titan's surface should be released around 12:45 MST. Pictures will 1st be available here.

UPDATE II: NASA seems to be posting pictures sooner than the ESA.

Parking Lot Philosophy

I had a dream last night that I was invited to be a member of a panel discussing philosophy and communication. As any good colleague and scholar, I agreed to particpate and joined up with my academic comrades at the appointed meeting place--a strip mall parking lot. Uh, whatever. At one point a young student from the audience became aggravated at my continued exhortations that there is, in fact, a difference between Being-in-the-world, Being-with-others, and Becoming. No matter how many times I explained the notion of "Becoming," she just couldn't wrap her mind around it.* My discourse became very animated as I jumped around the parking lot exhorting, "It's about Becoming! Meaning is negotiated in the exact moment of human interaction. There isn't anything else. It's all about the now. Buddhists write about a concept of mindfulness, of keeping your mind centered in the present moment. The constitution of meaning is similar to the concept of mindfulness; in communicative interactions there is no past, no future, just the now."

*Oddly enough, the "young student" was actually someone I knew in real life. She was a year or two behind me in graduate school and she constantly needed to have things explained and re-explained. She was always the last to "get it" in a class and she frequently derailed outstanding discussions with her simplistic questions. She drove me absolutely mad! I once made her cry with a rather scathing critique of some of her work. I didn't mean to make her cry. Really.

Rip Van Winkle

I just got up. It's 11 AM and I just dragged my sorry self out of bed. Back in the days of my youth, 11 AM would have be no biggie; in the days of my rapidly-approaching-middle-age, however, I NEVER sleep beyond 9 (and it's usually more like 7-8). I suppose my body needed the rest. Earlier this week I expressed the hope that my cold would not drop into my chest and start trigging my asthma. Those hopes were for naught ::wheeze:: In anticipation of this occurance I stopped by the pharmacy and purchased a jumbo size bottle of non-alcoholic expectorant cough syrup, guaranteed to "loosen chest congestion" for "productive coughing." Missing accomplished. Since sometime in the middle of the night, I've been coughing up yellowish-green gunk the consistency of Gak or Slime. It sure beats suffocating in my own phlegm.

The rest of the weekend was extremely low key. Friday night we got sucked into the Stargate: Atlantis marathon. STK and I, big science fiction/fantasy fans, hadn't given this series a look. We like it! We almost like it more than than the original Stargate: SG1 series. We're looking forward to the new Stargate/Stargate: Atlantis/Battlestar Galactica lineup on Friday nights. The new Galactica series, which is already playing in the UK, is getting fantastic reviews from sci-fi fandom.

We spent Saturday afternoon with my grandmother. She's visiting my folks for a few days and yesterday was the only time we had available. I think I'm done with family for a while. My father and I had the obligatory "Conservatives Suck! Liberals Suck!" argument. I've never understood the whole "joy of family" thing. I don't consider the time I spend with my family a joy. I like them well enough but we really don't have that much in common and I'd rather spend time with friends.

And on Saturday evening, spend time with friends we did. Tess & John, two of our favorite people, invited friends over for a "HORS D’OEUVRES and CHEESE buffet and night at the beach."* Since I wasn't feeling well (not breathing will do that to you), we made an 1.5 hour appearance and said our goodbyes. The majority of the party attendees were graduate school colleagues and significant others--it was nice to catch up with people I hadn't seen in some time. STK and her swollen belly (she's starting to show) received a great deal of attention. What is it about pregnant women that seems to suck people in?

*The "night at the beach" was a reference to taking advantage of the indoor pool, hot tub, and sauna in their apartment buidling. Awesome facilities, actually.

Speak Accordingly

Judge the nature of your listeners and speak accordingly. There is nothing more virtuous or valuable than this.

-Tirukkural 65:644

An entire semester of public speaking summed up in two sentences. There goes my job.

Feast Boy

Appetizer - Have you been sick yet this winter? If so, what did you come down with?

Twice. I've had the same damn cold three weeks apart. Just as I thought I was done with it--BAM--it slammed me again.

Soup - What colors dominate your closet?

Black, black, and more black.

Salad - How would you describe your personal "comfort zone"?

Quiet, calm, appreciative, and safe.

Main Course - On which reality show would you really like to be a contestant?

The Real Gilligan's Island. I'd kick ass as The Professor.

Dessert - Which holiday would you consider to be your favorite?

I am the shadow on the moon at night
Filling your dreams to the brim with fright

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
Halloween! Halloween!

Tender lumpings everywhere
Life's no fun without a good scare

That's our job, but we're not mean
In our town of Halloween

Lyrics from "This is Halloween" (The Nightmare Before Christmas)

Purple

you are purple #800080

Your dominant hues are red and blue. You're confident and like showing people new ideas. You play well with others and can be very influential if you want to be. Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right. Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Remembering

The world lost two incredible women over the course of the last two weeks.

Susan Sontag.
Shirley Chisholm.

Published!

I received word this morning that an article based on my dissertation argument will be published in an upcoming volume of Popular Communication. Autographed copies will be available at a modest fee. Heh.

A tenure-track position and a peer reviewed publication within two weeks? I need to go buy a lottery ticket.

When It Rains . . .

The holiday break continues and I haven't been nearly as productive as I would like. The resurgence of The Cold has kept me feeling like crud the last couple days. STK and I had to make a run to Target earlier this evening to stock up on Puffs Plus (there's potion in them!) and Aleve Cold & Sinus. If the cold proceeds like it did three weeks ago, my dripping nose should start dry up tomorrow. Of course, the crud then drops into the chest and threatens to suffocate me by triggering my asthma every two hours. Beautiful. Let's hope it doesn't get that bad this time around.

My contract from Small Midwest College arrived and everything seems in order. I've filled out all the appropriate paperwork and signed on the dotted line. The contract zips to SMC tomorrow and everything should be official. I also heard from my department Chair and we've been emailing back and forth in regard to my fall teaching schedule. I'll be teaching Public Address (public speaking), Media & Society (which I'll teach more as a popular culture course), and a new course of my own design. I'm debating between Rhetoric of the Everyday or Rhetoric and Spirituality. I'll post a course description when I decide.

Several weeks ago I posted about my job interview escapades at the annual NCA convention. That adventure resulted in the job offer from SMC and an invitation for a campus visit with Much Larger Southern University. Would you believe I received a call today from Much Larger Midwest University (the conference call school) regarding a campus visit? Thankfully, STK and I had discussed this as a possibility and took an invitation into consideration when making the SMC decision. I graciously declined the invitation and only experienced an hour of "Am I doing the right thing?" To be quite frank, I'm stunned at the amount of interest I've received. Of the four schools I pursued at NCA, three have invited me for a campus visit. That's batting .750, folks. Why am I surprised? While my teaching repetoire is outstanding (better than many professors, in fact), my publication record is still pretty sparse. I have one piece undergoing a second review presently; a lot of Ph.D. candidates out there have several published pieces.

Anyway, STK and I decided not to share this latest interview opportunity with my colleagues (I don't think any of them read my blog, anyway). Many grumbled when they heard about a second possible campus visit and the grumbling will certainly increase if I mention I turned down a third. As much as I love my profession, jealousy, ultra-competitiveness, and clashing egos are definitely a downside. I'm not totally immune to that part of my profession, either. There's a part of my mind whispering, "Tell 'em. TELL THEM. Tell them about all the attention you're receiving." Fortunately, I think, there's another part of my mind speaking mindfully: ""Sssshhhh. You already have a job at a school that fits you and your family's needs. Celebrate your accomplishments quietly. Hurting others serves no purpose."

If I could figure out exactly what happens when I meet people face-to-face and find a way to teach the skill to others, I could make millions. Of course, that would mean millions of possible competitors out there. If I ever figure it out, I think I'll keep it to myself.

Wal-Mart Sucks

Still shopping at Wal-Mart? You shouldn't.

Wal-Mart Sucks

Low prices are great. Low prices at the expense of the workers providing those prices is deplorable.

Fulfilled

You are one and the same
In joy and sorrow,
Hope and despair,
Life and death.

You are already fulfilled.

Let yourself dissolve.

-Ashtavakra Gita 5:4

Holiday Feast

Appetizer: Using only 5 words, describe how 2004 went for you.

Changes loom. Everything in transition.

Soup: Name something you did in 2004 that you'll probably never do again.

Search for a tenure-track job. Here's to hoping we love Small Midwest College and the surrounding community.

Salad: What did you learn about yourself in 2004?

I'm a marketable scholar and teacher! Having attended a 2nd-tier graduate program, I had some doubts about finding a job.

Main Course: What notable news event from 2004 will stand out most in your memory?

The re-election of Curious George. The pain! The pain!

Dessert: Name something you purchased in 2004 that you really, really like.

Green Lantern Animated Maquette

Triple Shots

As the end of December approaches and another year winds down, you can count on Gene posting his annual "end of year lists." Rather than stealing his approach entirely, I thought I'd toss out a few of my own 2004 triple shots.

Musical Obsessions
The Muffs--Really, Really Happy
Metric--Old World Underground (a 2003 release that I played almost non-stop in 2004)
theStart--Initiation

Comic Book Favs
Astonishing X-men (Writer: Joss Whedon)
Star Wars: Republic (Clone Wars Era)
Teen Titans

This has been a rotten year for my favorite comics. The Avengers Disassembled (horrible story and relaunch), Iron Man rebooted (again--and the stories still suck), and the Green Lantern monthly (starring Kyle Rayner) ended (Green Lantern: Rebirth looks promising but I'll withold judgment until I see what they do with Kyle).

Films
Garden State
Finding Neverland
Travellers and Magicians

DVDs
Firefly: The Complete Series.
Star Wars: Episodes IV, V, VI
Hero

Cool Moments
New baby on the way.
Job offer from Small Midwest College.
One year anniversary.

Books Read
Citizens of the Empire (Robert Jensen)
Being Made Strange (Bradford Vivian)
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (Robert Pirsig)

Television
Angel Finale
Resurgence of Star Trek: Enterprise (Much improved stories this year).
Teen Titans & Justice League Unlimited

Most Overhyped News Story
Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction
The freaking election
The Peterson trial

And The Winner Is . . .

Small Midwest College. After soliciting the opinion of almost everyone we know, STK and I have decided to accept the job offer from Small Midwest College. Surprisingly, the vast majority of opinions focused on the positives of the move. In fact, the only thing that gave anyone serious pause was the fact that we'll be moving to a much smaller community. Moving from the Denver metro area to a community of 10,000 will definitely be an adjustment. Our friends and family expressed some sadness at the prospect of seeing us leave the metro area; my mother, in typical fashion, started to cry. Leaving our friends and family behind will no doubt be one of the scariest parts of the move. That said, the actual professor position is perfect for me, the politics of the area is a vast improvement over Colorado, and the community is a much safer place to raise a child.

Tomorrow AM, I'm going to call my new department Chair and let her know I'll be contacting the Dean with my decision.

And so a new chapter begins.

Mulling it Over

More on the tenure track offer. As I stated in my earlier post the salary/benefits package is very competitive, the teaching load is reasonable (3/3), and the publication expectations are doable. I also talked with the Chair and the department is offering a teaching schedule that's right up my alley. The department wants to me to teach Public Address, Rhetoric and Popular Culture (my area of specialization), and a third course of my own design. If I accept the position, I'll be replacing a faculty member who was at Small Midwest College for 30+ years. His area of specialization is communication and linguistics; as he's the only faculty member in that area, all linguistics courses will be removed from the curriculum. With the linguistics courses gone, the department needs four new courses to fill the gaps and I've been offered one of the four.

While the acacemic side of the equation seems like a "no brainer," we're a little hestitant about making the move to a smaller community. We've become very accustomed to an urban way of life. A move to Small Midwest Town (SMT) means no more art house cinema, alternative club scene, or Museum of Contemporary Art (within 15 minutes, at least). All of those activities now become a day trip rather than an afternoon or evening excursion. All that said, raising a child in SMT does have a certain appeal--I have very fond memories of my small town upbringing. The fact that I have quite a bit of extended family within 3 hours of SMT also makes the move more attractive.

So, we have a big decision to make. The school wants an answer no later than December 29th. We tried to catch a quick flight out to Minneapolis (STK's father is a retired United pilot and offered a couple buddy passes for the trip) so STK could visit SMT, but all the flights are booked through the holidays. STK says we should definitely accept the offer, one of my long-term academic mentors says take the offer, and all my graduate school colleagues think I should jump on the offer. My dissertation advisor thinks I should hold out for a more prestigious school, but said he would support any decision. If I take the offer, he asked that I commit to a publishing schedule that would make me competitive for a position at a larger school. His thinking is that if we get to SMC and decide it's not for us, I'll still be marketable in the broader academic community. That's good advice, I think.

Of everyone involved, I think I'm the one that's being the most indecisive. My major issue is asking STK to walk away from her career. Unfortunately, art positions tend to be few and far between. I'm concerned we'll get out there and she won't be able to find work. The income isn't too much of an issue--we could make it on my salary, if need be. The greater issue is the fact that STK wants to continue her teaching career. She has a lot more faith than I and continually says, "Something will become available. If this is where we're supposed to be, the universe will present opportunities." Yikes.

Though we're leaning toward accepting the position, we'll mull it over right up to the deadline.

Everything Comes to Pass

Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay.

-Matthew Flickstein, "Journey To The Center"

Fark-o-rama

The Farkers are at it, again. Check out the photoshops of Dr Seuss covers related to current events. Hysterical.

The Cat in the Chat.

The Nighmare Before Christmas

Your Christmas is Most Like: The Nightmare Before Christmas

Christmas was not a big deal for you growing up... And you're still trying to figure out what it all means.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

Decisions, Decisions

At 9:25 AM, the Dean of Small Midwest College called and offered me a tenure track position within the Department of Communication Studies. The salary and benefits are competitive, the teaching load is reasonable, and the publication expectations are doable. So, STK and I have some decisions to make. More on this later.

We Gotta Get Out of This Place

I know I've mentioned Colorado's higher education woes on numerous occasions. An article in one of the local papers spells out the crisis VERY clearly:

State's Colleges Decry Finances.

Some high points of the article include:

1. Students begging to get into classes (that happens to me constantly).
2. $700,000 million in cuts over the last three years.
3. Proposed tuition jumps ranging from 13% to 21%.
4. 80 faculty positions unfilled despite a 20% increase in enrollment. Do the math.

The state of Colorado is presently 48th in terms of higher education spending per $1000 of state personal income. Pathetic.

So, I'm restarting the job application machine. Although I have two possibilities on the horizon (still no word from Small Midwest College--STK thinks I'll get an offer, I have an odd feeling that I won't), it's time to try and make more contacts. Three more applications will go out by the end of the month.

The Questing Feast

Appetizer: What is something that never fails to grab your attention?

Liquor and cigarettes. I may no longer do either, but I'm ALWAYS aware of when either is around.

Soup: Who was the last person who gave you money, and what was it for?

I received an airfare reimbursement check from Small Midwestern College.

Salad: If you were a Smurf, what would your name be?

Ardent Smurf. And I'd refuse to be blue. I'd make myself a nice green.

Main Course: Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

Who knows. Some people seem to think it works for them. Who am I to question their beliefs? Personally, I believe I'm in control of my own destiny. The thought of life events being the result of my Pisces Sun sign resting in the 3rd house of Jupiter's eighth moon, Callisto, doesn't sit well with me.

Dessert: Have you seen any snow this year yet? What's the weather like today in your area?

In typical Colorado fashion, we've seen the usual snow-today-gone-tomorrow thing a couple of times. Today's weather: sunny and 50 (close to 60 tomorrow).

Grading, Grading, Grading, Keep That Adjunct Grading.

Since Saturday, December 3, I've graded 40 journals, 180 final projects, and 180 final exams. The exams were all graded between Monday and today. Oh, and I also managed to calculate 180 final grades this week. Although final grades aren't officially due until Tuesday morning, I submitted mine this afternoon. As such, I'm officially on break! ::cue Alice Cooper and "Schools Out . . ."::

What's up for the break? While I'd like to keep the agenda wide open, I suspect I'll be more busy than I'd like. I know the 24th and 25th will be tied up with family stuff; two days is WELL beyond my normal four hour limit of contiguous family time. How did I get duped into that? Speaking of the holidays, I still have shopping to finish. I'll hit the stores on Monday morning and hope most people will be at work. Any shopping center should be declared officially off limits this weekend. Other than the family stuff and shopping, I don't have anything definite planned. We might take a quick, three day trip, but that's contingent on an offer from Small Midwest College. If I don't hear anything by Wednesday, it's probably safe to assume I wasn't their first choice.

Intelligence

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

One Down, One to Go, Another Town and One More Show

Two days into finals week and I already have 99 exams graded and 99 final grades assigned. I'll receive another 40 exams on Thursday. Right after the exam, I'll retire to my office; the exams will be graded and final grades will be assigned. Repeat on Friday. Barring a catastrophy, I should have all my final grades assigned by 5 PM Friday. You know what that means, right? My break starts this weekend. Woohoo!

If I'm to receive an offer, I should hear something from Small Midwest College in the next week. If I understand the timeline correctly, the search committee should meet tomorrow and make a recommendation to the Dean. Once the Dean gives the stamp of approval, the offer gets made. I could hear something as early as tomorrow or as late as never (for those keeping score, that would mean I didn't get the job). Oddly enough, I received informal word today that I'm also a finalist for the position at Much Larger Southern University. I'll receive a formal campus visit invitation sometime in January. As most schools are wrapping up their Fall semester, informal word is often passed along this time of year (informal means the Search Committee hasn't had a formal meeting and filled out the appropriate paperwork). Schools like to give candidates a heads up in case there are other schools sending invites, making ofers, etc. If I'm offered the position at Small Midwest College, STK and I will be in something of a dilemna. Do we take the position at Small Midwest College or hold out for Much Larger Southern University? Additionally, I have a half dozen other applications that were due in December. Big decisions could be facing us in the next couple weeks. If Small Midwest College doesn't make an offer, there's obviously no dilemna.

These are the things that keep me up late at night. Is there a better example of an instance where I stress out about things that might not even come to pass? Fie upon it! About my brain!

Fog of War played on the Encore: True Stories channel tonight. I stumbled on the film quite by accident just as it started. McNamara provides fascinating insight into a turbulent time of U.S. American history. By the end of the film, you get the idea he has a great many regrets. For instance, in 1963 he recommended the U.S. get out of Vietnam; JFK felt otherwise. When Johnson took office, the rift between the President and the Secretary of Defense widened even further. McNamara says he felt obligated to carry out the President's wishes regardless of his personal opinion and belief.

STK and I are catching a screening of Un long dimanche de fiançailles (A Very Long Engagement) tonight. We love the director and the lead actress. I heard a review on NPR over the weekend that said the film is outstanding.

Diversity

Diversity is both beautiful and necessary.

--The Dalai Lama

You're Kidding, Right?

Finals begin today and I've managed to catch a nasty cold. Achoo! ::blows nose:: A couple students emailed me and asked that I send them lecture notes for days they missed class. Let me think about that for a moment ::ponders for a nanosecond:: No. As the syllabus clearly states, I'm not responsible for your absences; missing out on course lecture and discussion is the consequence for choosing to skip class. Here's a thought: borrow the notes from one of your colleagues rather than emailing your instructor. If you had your act together and checked your notes last week, you wouldn't be pleading for help in the wee hours of the morning before a test.

Critiquing Pop Culture

Okay, I managed to slog through the remaining popular culture essays (I also finished tweaking a revised journal article that will go back to reviewers on Monday AM--I've been a busy scholar, today). Since I ranted about the lack of original ideas--there were a handful of excellent essays--I decided to offer a quick list of artifacts that I think are worth a second look. Take a quick look at the actual assignment, then take a gander at my artifacts. You'll note that I make this assignment very clear cut. Most of my students are incoming freshman and haven't done any writing at the college level.
----
Utilizing the concepts of hegemonic (commonly held attitudes, beliefs, ideas) and counterhegemonic messages (messages that contradict, challenge, or resist prevailing cultural attitudes, ideas, beliefs), analyze a popular culture artifact of your own choosing. Appropriate artifacts include, but are not limited to, advertisements, television programs, films, music, architecture, clothing/attire, and art. As with all our writing assignments, I expect you to explain the concepts (hegemonic and counterhegemonic messages) and apply them to the artifact for analysis. Final papers should be 3-5 pages in length (double-spaced) and adhere to the tenets of good writing (organization, syntax, punctuation, etc.).

INTRODUCTION (½ page)
A good introduction catches the reader’s attention, identifies the artifact for analysis, reveals the theoretical approach to analyzing the artifact, and presents a clear thesis/preview statement.

BODY
The body of a critique usually focuses on four elements: description, method, analysis, and discussion/effects.

Description (½ page). Provide a brief description of the artifact for analysis. This description should give the reader the basic feel or gist of an artifact. For example, a description of a television program would likely include a discussion of the main characters and a typical storyline. A description should give the reader a basic understanding of the artifact. Always assume that a reader won’t have access to your artifact.

Method (½ page). Explain the concepts of hegemonic and counterhegemonic messages. This section of a paper is frequently called the “theory” section.

Analysis (2 pages). Discuss at least two hegemonic messages and two counterhegemonic messages put forth by your artifact. Use specific examples from the text to support your observations.

Discussion (1 page). Based on your analysis, how might this artifact influence the way we view our world? What does the artifact tell us about our attitudes, beliefs, and values? Does the artifact perpetuate or challenge a cultural myth? Does the artifact reinforce the dominant discourses of our society? Is that a positive or negative? Conversely, does the artifact challenge dominant discourses? Go beyond the obvious and discuss how you think the artifact might influence our culture. For instance, I could make the argument that the familial myth presented by 7th Heaven is a move toward integrating traditional family values with a more contemporary image of the family (mixed families, families challenged by real-life issues, etc.)

CONCLUSION ( ½ page)
A solid conclusion offers a brief summary of your points and offers a decisive closing statement.
----
Top Ten Artifacts for Analysis.

Harry Potter.
Snoopy (or Peanuts).
Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer (the holiday special).
The DaVinci Code.
Starbucks.
The PowerPuff Girls.
Rocky (The Denver Nuggets' Mascot)
The Green Lantern.
Garden State.
Someone's blog (Mike or Tiffany would work just fine)

Less than five minutes and I generated TEN original topics. Your assignment is to generate your own Top Ten list of original artifacts for analysis. Go!

The Feast from 20,000 Fathoms

Appetizer: Make up a word and give us its definition.

Splendodorous (adjective)--a most excellent smell.
Example: That scent you're wearing is splendodorous!

Soup: What is currently your favorite song?

Really, Really Happy--The Muffs

Salad: What's at the top of your Christmas wish list this year?

World peace. If Santa can't manage to bring that my way, I'll settle for the Indiana Jones Trilogy on DVD. Can you believe I don't own that?

Main Course: Name a scent that reminds you of someone special in your life.

Amour, Amour. Bob Mackey. Both remind of STK. Mmmmm.

On a weider note, my dog's paws smell like buttered popcorn.

Dessert: Who is someone on television that you feel probably shouldn't be, and why?

O'Reilly. What an idiot.

::Thunk::

I also don't need another essay on Sex in the City.

::pounds head on desk::

Aargh!

I've been grading popular culture papers, almost non-stop, since Thursday evening. If I have to read one more critique of the Simpsons or Friends, I think I'll hurl. Come on, people! Of all the popular culture artifacts out there, you can only focus on two?! Seriously, I bet I've read 20 papers on these two shows. Next semester, I'm stressing the importance of originality in writing.

I just glanced through the remaining papers on the "To Grade" pile--there's yet another critique of The Simpsons . . . and Friends ::sobs::

Christapalooza

The Rude Pundit really cracks me up.

When O'Reilly declared that "overwhelmingly, America is Christian. And the holiday is a federal holiday honoring the philosopher Jesus," all the Rude Pundit could wonder is where the fuck's Plato's holiday? Or Kierkegaard's? Or perhaps John Locke's, considering his influence on, say, the actual creation of the country? And on Christmas, when people are heading to work at Wal-Mart and Denny's and all the other places that stay open so that Bill O'Reilly can have a merry Christmas, we'll all be thankful that even more overwhelmingly, in this America, cash, not Christ, is king. Is that insulting enough to O'Reilly's "majority"?

While I don't consider myself Christian, I do celebrate the holiday with my family (the majority of whom do consider themselves Christian). In and of itself, I have nothing against Christmas--I realize that roughly 80 percent of the U.S. does practice (or profess, rather. I've met a lot of people who claim to be Christian but don't really practice the religion) some form of the same religion. Much to O'Reilly's chagrine, that means one in five people you meet aren't Christian. Egads!

Miscellany

I'm still swamped at school. The moment I get caught up with all the grading, another tidal wave of papers/projects rocks my world. I keep reminding myself that it will all be over by December 21.

A few random thoughts.

• I take great solace in the fact that I'm the same age is Denny Neagle and not half as stupid.
• Star Wars: Clone Wars Animated fans rejoice!
• After a slow start and an embarrassing blowout last week, the Nuggets seem to have their shit together. The real test will be the upcoming 7 game roadtrip. My prediction: Nuggets go 2-5 and fans will be calling for Bzdelik's head. Historically, the Nuggets are absolutely terrible on this eastern swing. I see no reason to think things will go differently this time around.
• I'm giving serious consideration to dropping any Marvel comic that doesn't involve Kurt Busiek or Joss Whedon. The Thunderbolts and Amazing X-men aside, the "new" Marvel comics aren't very impressive (and haven't been for some time). On the verge of being cut from my reading list are The New Avengers and Iron Man. I've read these two titles for the better part of 20 years and both have been exceedingly mediocre for the last couple years. All the recent changes in artists and writers just aren't to my liking.
• On a more positive note, I love all of my present DC titles (Green Lantern, JLA, JSA, Teen Titans, The Outsiders). The Dark Horse Stars Wars titles are also exceptional.
• My present mindset is yet another reminder of my lack of patience. I hate waiting to hear important news (or a lack thereof).
• Students really need to learn that waiting until the week before finals to "discuss my course grade" really isn't a wise strategy. Any bets on how many times I'll have to say, "I don't offer extra credit" or "we should have been discussing strategies to improve your grades right after the 1st midterm"? Having I mentioned how much I dislike the end of a semester?
  
• I'm a little concerned about the rate with which my students' grandparents have been dying over the past week. It's a very odd epidemic, indeed. I may contact the Colorado Department of Health if the trend continues. To try and stem the tide, one of my colleagues now requires students to bring a bulletin from relevant commemorative services. According to said colleague, grandparents of her students seem to be in great health.
  
• Colorado higher education is still in dire straights. I need to get out of this state, pronto.
  

Feastmaster

Appetizer: Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood.

I had a mechanized tyrannosaurus with which I terrified my sister. Unlike the radio-controlled toys of today, this toy had a long wire that ran back to a small control unit. I could make the thing walk forward/back and roar. When it roared, its mouth would open and glow red (thanks to a small, red lightbulb). Listening to my sister scream was one of the highlights of my childhood.

Soup: If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?

Health care. The resistance to universal health care in this country is the epitome of self-centeredness. I'd gladly give up an additional 10% of my income if it meant everyone in our country could have health care. I'd be willing to give up even more if it meant the entire world could have access to health care.

Salad: Approximately how many times per day do you think about your significant other?

25? 50? I really have no idea. To some degree, STK is always in the back of my mind.

Main Course: Name something you believe in 100%.

The incompetence of the Bush administration. The fact that Rumsfeld is staying on as Secretary of Defense is exhibit A (for this week).

Dessert: List 3 things you did this year that you would consider a "good deed."

Helped a friend in need.
Bought a couple of children school supplies.
Donated clothes and food to needy families.

Midwest Intervew Tour

I returned from The Midwest Interview Tour late Friday afternoon. The trip proved a success, I believe; I connected with most of the faculty, the dean, and especially the students. I'm trying not to get too excited about the possibility of an offer (two candidates visit the school during the upcoming week), but I think that's a real possibility. Unless the remaining candidates really blow the socks off the students, I have that vote secured (several students already emailed the chair and pleaded with her to hire me). Since Midwest College (false name to protect the innocent) emphasizes teaching over research, the student voice has a great deal of pull.

The position itself would be perfect for me. The school is founded on a tradition of spirituality, service, and social justice and the professors are expected to display a commitment to the same values. Me, committed to spirituality and social justice? What? The communication department is in transition and will be adding four yet unamed courses in Fall 2005. The Chair stressed the need for a class combining media studies and rhetoric; Communication and Popular Culture, anyone? The Chair seemed genuinely enthused about the idea of my course--she mentioned it a couple times during our drive back to the airport.

The only drawback to the position is the location. The college is located in a small midwest town and will require a significant lifestyle adjustment on the part of STK and I. Her job might be a problem, too. Finding an art position in a town that has 4 public schools will be challenging. There are two cities within an hour drive and STK would likely have to look for work in those areas. In that case, we'd probably move somewhere between our places of work and split the commute.

If I'm offered the position, I should hear something before the Christmas holiday.

On the Road Again

My apologies for the lack of blogging. It's silly season at school and wave after wave of grading keeps crashing on my shore. 75 papers roll in on this Thursday, 40 next Tuesday, and 100 next Thursday. After that, finals week! That means I have 180 final exams to grade. Woohoo!

If that wasn't enough craziness for the next couple weeks, I'm flying out of town tomorrow AM and won't return until Friday afternoon. Last week, a school contacted me and invited me for a campus interview/visit. What does that mean? That means I'm one of three finalists for a tenure track position. As a finalist I get flown in for 36 hours of intense interviewing and a research presentation. Starting tomorrow evening, I interview with 7 faculty members, the Dean of the college, and a group of current students. To avoid totally jinxing myself I'll keep the name of the institution under wraps. Any positive energy sent my way (I'll be somewhere in the Midwest) would be greatly appreciated.

Oh, and I had a conference call interview with the search committee at another school yesterday morning. That was a very weird experience. I'm one of those people who really likes to see the facial expressions of the people to whom I'm speaking. As I couldn't see anyone to gauge a reaction, I have absolutely NO idea about how I did. If I don't hear back from them, I'll have my answer.

Feasting on Leftovers

Appetizer: How much money do you plan to spend this upcoming holiday season?

$200-300, most likely. I keep proposing to our respective families that we pool our holiday money and help feed people in need. Nobody's going for it. ::sighs::

Soup: What was the last television show you watched, and was it good?

The Apprentice. It was wonderful--Andy, the debate champ twerp, got fired. I'll offer my rant about debaters some day. Most of them think they're expert communicators when, in fact, they actually suck.

Salad: If you had to paint the walls of your living room tomorrow, what color would you choose?

I'd go with sage green.

Main Course: Name something clever or practical you have thought of that should be invented, but hasn't yet.

A handle or some other kind of carrying device for a 12 pack of toilet paper.

Dessert: List 3 things you would like to receive as gifts this holiday season.

Hellboy DVD.
A new pair of Levi 569 jeans.
Clone Wars Obiwan Kenobi Maquette

Blockheads

For the past two months, we've been going back and forth with the company that built our condo three years back. Over the summer we noticed our outside storage closet was leaking--water was seeping through the exterior brickwork and soaking the drywall of the closet. It's not a disaster, but we'd like it fixed. The builders have been great about trying to get the problem fixed at their own expense. A month ago, a bricklayer came out and did such a shoddy job that we couldn't even tell a repair had been done.

Two weeks ago I met with the building company construction manager and a mason and we talked about how to fix the problem permanently. We met at our condo so all three of us could see the problem. The mason immediately knew what needed to be done and we agreed the work would be finished sometime this week.

Today, while out walking the dogs, I noticed the bricklayers up on their scaffolding (we have a 3rd floor condo) working away . . . on the wrong condo. They had the right location of our condo but on the wrong freakin building. I politely mentioned that I thought they were working on the wrong condo. You should have seen the look on all three of their faces. I called the construction manager (we are now on a 1st name basis) and after his initial torrent of profanity, we both laughed pretty hard.

I'm guessing the problem won't get fixed today. Can you imagine having to contact the homeowner of the other condo? Yikes.

Update: the bricklayers are presently erecting a scaffold outside the condo. Maybe the repair will get finished today? You better believe I'll check on their work. I'm sure they're none too pleased with the tongue lashing they likely received from their boss. Angry employees usually results in shoddy work.

Snark

By way of Mike

You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of. And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!

What kind of blogger are you?

Really, I don't hink many bloggers are secretly scared of my "razor sharp wit." Yeah, I post a strong opinion or two but it's pretty easy to ignore my rantings. And what is up with the snarky woman in that image wearing thigh high boots? Am I seeing that properly?

Roast Feast

Appetizer: What do you think is the perfect age to get married? To have a first child? To retire?

Married: 22, 26, 35.
Child: 37.
Retire: Never!

Soup: If you could change occupations tomorrow, what would you want to do for a living?

Actually, I have no desire to change professions. I absolutely love what I do. Were I forced to find a new profession, I'd like to be a barista at a quaint, yet popular, coffee house and bookstore.

Salad: What does the color green make you think of?

Luke Skywalker's lightsaber. The Green Lantern.

Main Course: What is something that has happened to you over the last year that you didn't expect?

I received a small raise at work. Where the school found the $$$ (Colorado higher education has fallen upon some lean times), I'll never know.

Dessert: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

Thirteen, I think. It obviously wasn't all that memorable.

Holy Shit: All Aboard the Evangelical Express. WooWoo!

Somehow, I don't think Jesus would support the crap being spewed by the religious right. Check out all this ridiculousness.

*Creationism rears its ugly head, once again. Public schools in several states now have new rules when it comes to teaching evolution. Are you fucking kidding me? Didn't we have this debate back in the 1920s? Folks, creationism has NO place in public schools. Teach your damn intelligent design theory (a fancy term for creationism) in Sunday school. As someone who contributes to public schools via property taxes, I oppose the idea of presenting religious ideology via a biology class. When my child is old enough to attend public school, I'll absolutely flip my lid if someone uses a science class to teach my child that a religious myth is a viable counterpoint to scientific theory. Talk about pseudo-science. I suspect Jesus worked on the principle of attraction rather than promotion. I can't see Jesus hijacking a science class to do some preachin'!

*Kill the terrorists, even if a few civilians get in the way. 100,000 civilian casualties don't matter. Kill the terrorists! Let freedom ring. Just so everyone understands my stance on this: if you voted for Bush in 2000 or 2004, I hold you personally responsible for every single one of those deaths. I wonder what the Christian Prince of Peace would think about those numbers?

*As a moral person, you should love lepers, prostitutes, and thy enemy, but it's okay to hate homosexuals. They're undermining the American way of life and threatening the institution of marriage! Maybe I didn't learn enough about him during my 28 years as a student of his teachings, but that just doesn't seem like Jesus' style.

Given that I walked away from Christianity eight years ago, I suppose it's possible I missed something in Jesus' teachings but I doubt that's the case. My problem with Christianity was always the people who claimed to be followers of Jesus' teachings. More often than not, I found myself wondering what freakin book these people were reading because they definitely weren't getting the same message as I. Ultimately, I decided that no one text or spiritual view of the world had the answers, has the answers, or will EVER have the answers. Oddly enough, I think Jesus would probably be okay with that. President Bush and his sychophantic followers obviously disagree.

Get on board the neocon evangelical express, folks! If you're not with 'em, you're against 'em. And we all know how this administration deals with opposition: you're bombed, arrested, asked to resign your cabinet post, ignored, or marginalized.

Breakin

As of 5 PM yesterday, I'm on Thanksgiving break. Wahooo! While I don't have to teach or get up at 5 AM, I have many, many papers to grade. And that's the real myth of a mid-semester "break" from a teaching perspective--teachers don't really get a break. Still, I do have some breaking lined up for the week.

Here's what I have planned for the week.

1. theStart are playing in Denver tonight. w00t.
2. Cousin Jennifer's wedding. Most of my dad's side of the family will be in town for the joyous event. I'm not all that close to my dad's side of the family--I haven't seen many of my aunts and uncles in five years or so. As they're ultra conservative midwestern folk, I suspect my interactions with them will be very brief. Nobody ever said you have to agree with, or even like, members of your own family. Rest assured, I'll be in "tolerate" mode.
3. Grade 100 think pieces and 40 papers.
4. Dissertation, damnit.
5. Talk to colleague about possible submission to Virtual Community book.
6. Catch up on movies with STK: The Grudge, Ray, Postmen in the Mountains.

That should keep me busy, eh?

Call for Peace

"The U.S. election is simply unacceptable. No president, no matter how large the vote, has any authority to commit war crimes, to destroy cities from the air, to create inhuman prison systems beyond the rule of law, to violate the sovereignty of states. No franchise anywhere entitles any leader to subjugate foreign peoples, or to violate international law. Far from being a democratic "mandate" for Bush, the election is a mandate for world-wide resistance. As James Madison wrote: "Elective despotism is not the government we fought for."

Impact

Every once in a great while, I get a reminder of why I'm a teacher. Generally, I love what I do. The pay could be better, I suppose, but I'm someone who doesn't need a whole lot of "stuff" to be happy. The real payoff is the students you meet.

I received an email from a former student while I was in Chicago. She filled me in on her life and asked if STK and I would be attending an upcoming show (this student and I share a love of "girly punk rock." She concluded her email with the following.

Anyway-- I just wanted to say hello as I thought of you and your wife when I saw that theSTART was coming. I really enjoyed having you as a teacher at CSU-- the things I learned in your classes truly impacted me in a way you will never know! I was actually inspired by you to one day go into teaching and to further my education. You teach the topics that you love and that is
admirable. Thanks for all your hard work and passion for knowledge (and
girly punk rock)! I hope to keep in touch =)

How many people receive messages like this while working for a major corporation?

Feasting on Monday

Appetizer: Name 3 cosmetics/toiletries that you use on a daily basis.

Jason Certified Organic Tea Tree Oil Deodorant. Kiss My Face Olive Oil Moisturizer. Alba Mango Vanilla Shave Cream.

Soup: Approximately how much exercise do you get per week, and what type of exercise is it (walking, running, swimming, etc.)

I usually exercise five days a week. On M/W/F I stretch for 20 minutes, lift weights for a half hour, and run 3-4 miles or swim a mile. All told, my M/W/F workout takes about 1.5 hours. T/TH I'm on campus all day and do a great deal of walking (I intentionally requested an office with a remote location so I had further to walk to class). Weekend workouts are the same as the rest of the week minus the weight lifting.

Salad: Write a sentence including your favorite color and your favorite food.

On a good portabello mushroom sandwich, the mushroom should be dark, almost black, and never green.

Main Course: What famous person/celebrity do you think you look like?

While I don't think I look like many of these people, I've been compared to Joseph Fiennes, Alice Cooper (what?!), Jeff Buckley, Jim Carrey, and Johnny Depp.

Dessert: Name 2 simple things that never fail to make you happy.

Being greeted by my dog. Having Kathleen in my life.

Charmed, I'm Sure

My return from Chicago was generally uneventful. Overall, the convention experience was a success and worth the time spent away from home. The annual communication convention always provides the opportunity to catch up with old friends now scattered throughout the U.S., discuss the latest in communication scholarship, and develop a few work connections. Here's how the convention played out.

Thursday. Arrived in Chicago around 10:30 AM. Caught the "L" downtown and managed to arrive just in time to see Margie present some of her latest scholarship regarding "The Vagina Monologues." Margie and I had Greek salads at a local pub, then connected with Tess & Kristin. Minutes later, Monique arrived and we all grabbed a cup of java at a local coffee hourse. Although we didn't accomplish much in the way of academics, Thursday was a wonderful day of catching up with friends. Kristin, Tess, Mary, and I capped off the day with a delicious vegetarian meal at the Chicago Diner.

Friday. Friday was the day to make potential tenure track job connections. At 9 AM, I attended a panel in which the Search Committee Chair for a possible position participated and introduced myself. While the department in question won't start making decisions until later this month, I figure it can't hurt to put a face to my name. Around 11 AM I informally visited with the Associate Dean and faculty of one of the departments to which I applied.

Friday of the National Convention is the day when schools with potential openings set up a table at the Job Fair and chat with candidates. The Job Fair itself is a ridiculous affair at which ABD PhD candidates run around trying to impress people. Some candidates approach a table and launch into what is obviously a canned sales pitch, not unlike the polished presentation of an experienced salesperson. Personally, I find those individuals FAR too pushy and cheesey. While these aggressive individuals swoop in, make their pitch, and zoom out, I tend to take what I think is a more personal approach. I chit chat with the faculty about their department, their curriculum, and their city. I casually mention how my research and teaching abilities might contribute to their program. Rather than make the "this is why you should hire me" pitch, I try to make a personal impression. Let's face it, these schools already have a 100+ page application packet from me and they're semi familiar with my experience, research agenda, and teaching experience. The key, I think, is to show departments that you're a likeable colleague.

Back to the actual discussions. I think I made a favorable impression at the school where I focused most of my attention. The Associate Dean liked me so much that she made sure she introduced me to the chair of the department. Another of the faculty members made sure we exchanged email addresses. Regardless of whether I formally interview with her school, we're talking of collaborating on some work regarding science fiction/fantasy fandom and computer mediated communication. Like I said, make the personal impression and see what follows.

12 noon saw me sitting in a formal interview with a liberal arts college to which I applied. I made the initial cut and found myself one of eight remaining candidates for the position. Each of the eight candidates met with two of the faculty on the search committee. Based on those conversations, the faculty will invite three of the eight for formal campus visits. A formal campus visit consists of a day or two interview at which a candidate gives a research presentation, does some sample teaching, and talks one-on-one with most of the faculty. I walked away from the interview with a good feeling and won't be surprised if I make the cut to the final three.

Early Friday evening I reconnected with several of my colleagues and we party hopped for a couple hours. Many schools have receptions for former graduate students, current faculty, and others somehow associated with the programs. More than anything, these are an opportunity to catch up with friends and colleagues.

Saturday. Saturday was a fairly uneventful day. Had I not been invited to an evening reception for one of the schools to which I applied, I probably would have flown home. I spent most of the day walking around Chicago. The evening reception proved fruitful, however, and I spent a good 45 minutes talking to one of the members of the search committee. I also chatted with four or five other members of the faculty. Despite the repeated reminder by faculty members that his was an informal gathering and NOT to be considered a job interview, several other candidates did the "this is why you should hire me" speech. I hung back, let them bully their way through meeting the faculty, and moved in later for casual conversation.

I'm glad to be home. By the end of Saturday evening, I'd exhausted my supply of charm. Although I don't necessarily like the kinds of interactions necessary to get a formal interview, I'm fairly good at it. As Gene and Kathleen have both remarked on different ocassions, I have a way with people (or can at least give the impression that I'm good with people). The real test of my charm will come over the next couple weeks. If I don't receive an invite for an interview with any of the four schools on which I focused my attention, we'll know I'm not half as charming as I like to think I am.

Time will tell.

The Windy City

I'm posting from the East Exhibition Hall of the National Communication Association in Chicago. I spent most of the day making contacts and interviewing for a couple positions. If anything comes about, you can bet I'll report it here. Gotta love playing the game.

With any luck I'll be back to regular blogging sometime Sunday or Monday.

Dress for today: Olive green dress slacks, white dress shirt, green & purple tie (it passed the STK fashion test), black vest, black blazer, hip looking pocket watch, Doc Marten shoes, and hip chain wallet. My colleagues tell me I'm stylin' and profilin'. A cool, hip academic? Absolutely.

Chill Out

From humorscope.com via Mike.

Calculating your superhero identity for the day...

Searching secret NSA documents...
Attempting to contact your third grade teacher...*
Tossing electrons in the air...

Your Superhero Identity For Today Is:

Name: Ice Dude
Secret Identity: Derek
Special Power: Incredible Energy
Transportation: Electric Chopper
Weapon: Psychotronic Blade
Costume: Alligator Helmet
Sidekick: Dirk Deadly
Nemesis: Eric the Puzzler
Tragic Flaw: Addicted to squash
Favorite Food: Green Beans

*Actually, if they'd contact my parents they can find my third grade teacher ASAP. My folks have been best friends with my third grade teacher and her husband since the mid 1970s.

Free Mind

With a free mind,
In no debt,
Enjoy what has been given to you.

-Therigatha, translated by Susan Murcott

From "365 Buddha: Daily Meditations," edited by Jeff Schmidt. Reprinted by arrangement with Tarcher/Putnam, a division of Penguin Putnam Inc.

The Loyal Opposition

I decided to let a few days pass before commenting on the election. Since Wednesday morning, I've heard repeated calls for liberals and conservatives to set aside their differences and work together for the good of the country. Mike seems to think this is a pretty solid idea. To Mike and all the others calling for unification: prepare to be disappointed. I, for one, have no intention of tempering my criticisms of this ridiculous excuse for an administration. Nothing has changed since Tuesday. Not. One. Thing. In fact, the two days since the election have increased my apprehension. Bush is escalating the war in Iraq (expect a major assault on Fallujah ASAP--the election is complete and political fallout is no longer a concern) and pushing a legislative agenda that includes privatizing social security, increasing tax cuts to the wealthy (it'll help the poor--voodoo economics, folks), and pushing his religious beliefs (abstinence only sex education, faith based welfare reform, another attempt at a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage). Oh, yeah. I'll unite on all those issues. Where do I sign up?

I'm also sick and tired of all this talk about "morals" and "values." Does anyone even know what these terms really mean? Save yourself the trouble of looking them as I did it for you.

Moral. According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, the term "moral" means: "1 a : of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior : ETHICAL b : expressing or teaching a conception of right behavior c : conforming to a standard of right behavior d : sanctioned by or operative on one's conscience or ethical judgment e : capable of right and wrong action"

Value. Referring to Merriam-Webster once again, a value is "something (as a principle or quality) intrinsically valuable or desirable ."

Taken together, a discussion of "morals" and "values" centers on issues of right/wrong, good/bad, just/unjust as well as the actions, behaviors, and virtuous qualities exhibited by the members of our culture. It strikes me that the U.S. American press and people have confused egocentric religiosity with "morals" and "values." Casting a vote based on whether a leader supports a woman’s right to choose isn’t moral, it"s an attempt to foist your religious belief on others. Taking an anti-abortion stance may be "moral" from your particular point of view, but it isn't the just choice for an entire nation. Voting to define marriage as a union between a man and woman isn't moral either. Instead, that's the institutionalization of religious belief (and a bigoted one at that). If a person wants to believe a marriage is between a woman and man, that's their personal right. I fail to see, however, how formally denying an entire group of people civil rights is remotely moral. Ridding Iraq of evil-doers (I won’t even get into how the term "evil" is subjective) seems like a moral act. Once you factor in the deaths of 100,000 innocents, the act doesn't seem so just.

And that's what I think is at stake over the next four years. Our country has a fundamental divide over what constitutes moral action. On one side of the schism stands those who would push personal, religious morals on the majority of the country via legislation. On the other side stands those who push for a more altruistic, public form of morality. The latter, of course, requires that people put aside their personal belief and allow others to live their lives as they see fit. Take my beliefs regarding gun control, for instance. Personally, I see absolutely no need for private ownership of handguns. Handguns have one solitary purpose: to kill human beings. My personal belief, grounded in my spiritual practice, is that handguns are a tremendous source of destruction in our country and that our country would probably be a less violent place without them. Despite my complete personal commitment to non-violence, banning handguns would not be the right decision for our country. While my private morality moves me to speak out against personal handgun ownership, my sense of public morality suggests the choice to own a handgun should be protected.

Will I join with the people who granted Bush a second term? I don't think there's any chance of that. I cannot side with people who attempt to push their religious agenda on an entire nation. I will continue to rant on this blog and I will continue to debate the people I encounter in my day-to-day interactions. I will continue to attend protests and I will do my best to oppose most of the Bush administration’s policies. 59 million people may have voted him into office, but I didn't. 59 million people may agree with Bush and his policies, but I don't. These calls for "unity" and "healing" are nothing more than an attempt to get dissenters like me to stop raising a ruckus. While I won't engage in the hyperbole of "mass emigration" and "revolution" espoused by many of my progressive colleagues, I do agree the nation is in for four more years of disastrous decisions. Four more years of war, corporate cronyism, and threatened civil rights. If I feel our country is headed in the wrong direction, how can I NOT speak out?

I have a sign hanging above my desk at school that reads, "Courage begins with one voice." I intend to use my voice to the greatest extent possible.