Rip Van Winkle

I just got up. It's 11 AM and I just dragged my sorry self out of bed. Back in the days of my youth, 11 AM would have be no biggie; in the days of my rapidly-approaching-middle-age, however, I NEVER sleep beyond 9 (and it's usually more like 7-8). I suppose my body needed the rest. Earlier this week I expressed the hope that my cold would not drop into my chest and start trigging my asthma. Those hopes were for naught ::wheeze:: In anticipation of this occurance I stopped by the pharmacy and purchased a jumbo size bottle of non-alcoholic expectorant cough syrup, guaranteed to "loosen chest congestion" for "productive coughing." Missing accomplished. Since sometime in the middle of the night, I've been coughing up yellowish-green gunk the consistency of Gak or Slime. It sure beats suffocating in my own phlegm.

The rest of the weekend was extremely low key. Friday night we got sucked into the Stargate: Atlantis marathon. STK and I, big science fiction/fantasy fans, hadn't given this series a look. We like it! We almost like it more than than the original Stargate: SG1 series. We're looking forward to the new Stargate/Stargate: Atlantis/Battlestar Galactica lineup on Friday nights. The new Galactica series, which is already playing in the UK, is getting fantastic reviews from sci-fi fandom.

We spent Saturday afternoon with my grandmother. She's visiting my folks for a few days and yesterday was the only time we had available. I think I'm done with family for a while. My father and I had the obligatory "Conservatives Suck! Liberals Suck!" argument. I've never understood the whole "joy of family" thing. I don't consider the time I spend with my family a joy. I like them well enough but we really don't have that much in common and I'd rather spend time with friends.

And on Saturday evening, spend time with friends we did. Tess & John, two of our favorite people, invited friends over for a "HORS D’OEUVRES and CHEESE buffet and night at the beach."* Since I wasn't feeling well (not breathing will do that to you), we made an 1.5 hour appearance and said our goodbyes. The majority of the party attendees were graduate school colleagues and significant others--it was nice to catch up with people I hadn't seen in some time. STK and her swollen belly (she's starting to show) received a great deal of attention. What is it about pregnant women that seems to suck people in?

*The "night at the beach" was a reference to taking advantage of the indoor pool, hot tub, and sauna in their apartment buidling. Awesome facilities, actually.

Speak Accordingly

Judge the nature of your listeners and speak accordingly. There is nothing more virtuous or valuable than this.

-Tirukkural 65:644

An entire semester of public speaking summed up in two sentences. There goes my job.

Feast Boy

Appetizer - Have you been sick yet this winter? If so, what did you come down with?

Twice. I've had the same damn cold three weeks apart. Just as I thought I was done with it--BAM--it slammed me again.

Soup - What colors dominate your closet?

Black, black, and more black.

Salad - How would you describe your personal "comfort zone"?

Quiet, calm, appreciative, and safe.

Main Course - On which reality show would you really like to be a contestant?

The Real Gilligan's Island. I'd kick ass as The Professor.

Dessert - Which holiday would you consider to be your favorite?

I am the shadow on the moon at night
Filling your dreams to the brim with fright

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
Halloween! Halloween!

Tender lumpings everywhere
Life's no fun without a good scare

That's our job, but we're not mean
In our town of Halloween

Lyrics from "This is Halloween" (The Nightmare Before Christmas)

Purple

you are purple #800080

Your dominant hues are red and blue. You're confident and like showing people new ideas. You play well with others and can be very influential if you want to be. Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right. Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Remembering

The world lost two incredible women over the course of the last two weeks.

Susan Sontag.
Shirley Chisholm.

Published!

I received word this morning that an article based on my dissertation argument will be published in an upcoming volume of Popular Communication. Autographed copies will be available at a modest fee. Heh.

A tenure-track position and a peer reviewed publication within two weeks? I need to go buy a lottery ticket.

When It Rains . . .

The holiday break continues and I haven't been nearly as productive as I would like. The resurgence of The Cold has kept me feeling like crud the last couple days. STK and I had to make a run to Target earlier this evening to stock up on Puffs Plus (there's potion in them!) and Aleve Cold & Sinus. If the cold proceeds like it did three weeks ago, my dripping nose should start dry up tomorrow. Of course, the crud then drops into the chest and threatens to suffocate me by triggering my asthma every two hours. Beautiful. Let's hope it doesn't get that bad this time around.

My contract from Small Midwest College arrived and everything seems in order. I've filled out all the appropriate paperwork and signed on the dotted line. The contract zips to SMC tomorrow and everything should be official. I also heard from my department Chair and we've been emailing back and forth in regard to my fall teaching schedule. I'll be teaching Public Address (public speaking), Media & Society (which I'll teach more as a popular culture course), and a new course of my own design. I'm debating between Rhetoric of the Everyday or Rhetoric and Spirituality. I'll post a course description when I decide.

Several weeks ago I posted about my job interview escapades at the annual NCA convention. That adventure resulted in the job offer from SMC and an invitation for a campus visit with Much Larger Southern University. Would you believe I received a call today from Much Larger Midwest University (the conference call school) regarding a campus visit? Thankfully, STK and I had discussed this as a possibility and took an invitation into consideration when making the SMC decision. I graciously declined the invitation and only experienced an hour of "Am I doing the right thing?" To be quite frank, I'm stunned at the amount of interest I've received. Of the four schools I pursued at NCA, three have invited me for a campus visit. That's batting .750, folks. Why am I surprised? While my teaching repetoire is outstanding (better than many professors, in fact), my publication record is still pretty sparse. I have one piece undergoing a second review presently; a lot of Ph.D. candidates out there have several published pieces.

Anyway, STK and I decided not to share this latest interview opportunity with my colleagues (I don't think any of them read my blog, anyway). Many grumbled when they heard about a second possible campus visit and the grumbling will certainly increase if I mention I turned down a third. As much as I love my profession, jealousy, ultra-competitiveness, and clashing egos are definitely a downside. I'm not totally immune to that part of my profession, either. There's a part of my mind whispering, "Tell 'em. TELL THEM. Tell them about all the attention you're receiving." Fortunately, I think, there's another part of my mind speaking mindfully: ""Sssshhhh. You already have a job at a school that fits you and your family's needs. Celebrate your accomplishments quietly. Hurting others serves no purpose."

If I could figure out exactly what happens when I meet people face-to-face and find a way to teach the skill to others, I could make millions. Of course, that would mean millions of possible competitors out there. If I ever figure it out, I think I'll keep it to myself.

Wal-Mart Sucks

Still shopping at Wal-Mart? You shouldn't.

Wal-Mart Sucks

Low prices are great. Low prices at the expense of the workers providing those prices is deplorable.

Fulfilled

You are one and the same
In joy and sorrow,
Hope and despair,
Life and death.

You are already fulfilled.

Let yourself dissolve.

-Ashtavakra Gita 5:4

Holiday Feast

Appetizer: Using only 5 words, describe how 2004 went for you.

Changes loom. Everything in transition.

Soup: Name something you did in 2004 that you'll probably never do again.

Search for a tenure-track job. Here's to hoping we love Small Midwest College and the surrounding community.

Salad: What did you learn about yourself in 2004?

I'm a marketable scholar and teacher! Having attended a 2nd-tier graduate program, I had some doubts about finding a job.

Main Course: What notable news event from 2004 will stand out most in your memory?

The re-election of Curious George. The pain! The pain!

Dessert: Name something you purchased in 2004 that you really, really like.

Green Lantern Animated Maquette

Triple Shots

As the end of December approaches and another year winds down, you can count on Gene posting his annual "end of year lists." Rather than stealing his approach entirely, I thought I'd toss out a few of my own 2004 triple shots.

Musical Obsessions
The Muffs--Really, Really Happy
Metric--Old World Underground (a 2003 release that I played almost non-stop in 2004)
theStart--Initiation

Comic Book Favs
Astonishing X-men (Writer: Joss Whedon)
Star Wars: Republic (Clone Wars Era)
Teen Titans

This has been a rotten year for my favorite comics. The Avengers Disassembled (horrible story and relaunch), Iron Man rebooted (again--and the stories still suck), and the Green Lantern monthly (starring Kyle Rayner) ended (Green Lantern: Rebirth looks promising but I'll withold judgment until I see what they do with Kyle).

Films
Garden State
Finding Neverland
Travellers and Magicians

DVDs
Firefly: The Complete Series.
Star Wars: Episodes IV, V, VI
Hero

Cool Moments
New baby on the way.
Job offer from Small Midwest College.
One year anniversary.

Books Read
Citizens of the Empire (Robert Jensen)
Being Made Strange (Bradford Vivian)
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (Robert Pirsig)

Television
Angel Finale
Resurgence of Star Trek: Enterprise (Much improved stories this year).
Teen Titans & Justice League Unlimited

Most Overhyped News Story
Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction
The freaking election
The Peterson trial

And The Winner Is . . .

Small Midwest College. After soliciting the opinion of almost everyone we know, STK and I have decided to accept the job offer from Small Midwest College. Surprisingly, the vast majority of opinions focused on the positives of the move. In fact, the only thing that gave anyone serious pause was the fact that we'll be moving to a much smaller community. Moving from the Denver metro area to a community of 10,000 will definitely be an adjustment. Our friends and family expressed some sadness at the prospect of seeing us leave the metro area; my mother, in typical fashion, started to cry. Leaving our friends and family behind will no doubt be one of the scariest parts of the move. That said, the actual professor position is perfect for me, the politics of the area is a vast improvement over Colorado, and the community is a much safer place to raise a child.

Tomorrow AM, I'm going to call my new department Chair and let her know I'll be contacting the Dean with my decision.

And so a new chapter begins.

Mulling it Over

More on the tenure track offer. As I stated in my earlier post the salary/benefits package is very competitive, the teaching load is reasonable (3/3), and the publication expectations are doable. I also talked with the Chair and the department is offering a teaching schedule that's right up my alley. The department wants to me to teach Public Address, Rhetoric and Popular Culture (my area of specialization), and a third course of my own design. If I accept the position, I'll be replacing a faculty member who was at Small Midwest College for 30+ years. His area of specialization is communication and linguistics; as he's the only faculty member in that area, all linguistics courses will be removed from the curriculum. With the linguistics courses gone, the department needs four new courses to fill the gaps and I've been offered one of the four.

While the acacemic side of the equation seems like a "no brainer," we're a little hestitant about making the move to a smaller community. We've become very accustomed to an urban way of life. A move to Small Midwest Town (SMT) means no more art house cinema, alternative club scene, or Museum of Contemporary Art (within 15 minutes, at least). All of those activities now become a day trip rather than an afternoon or evening excursion. All that said, raising a child in SMT does have a certain appeal--I have very fond memories of my small town upbringing. The fact that I have quite a bit of extended family within 3 hours of SMT also makes the move more attractive.

So, we have a big decision to make. The school wants an answer no later than December 29th. We tried to catch a quick flight out to Minneapolis (STK's father is a retired United pilot and offered a couple buddy passes for the trip) so STK could visit SMT, but all the flights are booked through the holidays. STK says we should definitely accept the offer, one of my long-term academic mentors says take the offer, and all my graduate school colleagues think I should jump on the offer. My dissertation advisor thinks I should hold out for a more prestigious school, but said he would support any decision. If I take the offer, he asked that I commit to a publishing schedule that would make me competitive for a position at a larger school. His thinking is that if we get to SMC and decide it's not for us, I'll still be marketable in the broader academic community. That's good advice, I think.

Of everyone involved, I think I'm the one that's being the most indecisive. My major issue is asking STK to walk away from her career. Unfortunately, art positions tend to be few and far between. I'm concerned we'll get out there and she won't be able to find work. The income isn't too much of an issue--we could make it on my salary, if need be. The greater issue is the fact that STK wants to continue her teaching career. She has a lot more faith than I and continually says, "Something will become available. If this is where we're supposed to be, the universe will present opportunities." Yikes.

Though we're leaning toward accepting the position, we'll mull it over right up to the deadline.

Everything Comes to Pass

Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay.

-Matthew Flickstein, "Journey To The Center"

Fark-o-rama

The Farkers are at it, again. Check out the photoshops of Dr Seuss covers related to current events. Hysterical.

The Cat in the Chat.

The Nighmare Before Christmas

Your Christmas is Most Like: The Nightmare Before Christmas

Christmas was not a big deal for you growing up... And you're still trying to figure out what it all means.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

Decisions, Decisions

At 9:25 AM, the Dean of Small Midwest College called and offered me a tenure track position within the Department of Communication Studies. The salary and benefits are competitive, the teaching load is reasonable, and the publication expectations are doable. So, STK and I have some decisions to make. More on this later.

We Gotta Get Out of This Place

I know I've mentioned Colorado's higher education woes on numerous occasions. An article in one of the local papers spells out the crisis VERY clearly:

State's Colleges Decry Finances.

Some high points of the article include:

1. Students begging to get into classes (that happens to me constantly).
2. $700,000 million in cuts over the last three years.
3. Proposed tuition jumps ranging from 13% to 21%.
4. 80 faculty positions unfilled despite a 20% increase in enrollment. Do the math.

The state of Colorado is presently 48th in terms of higher education spending per $1000 of state personal income. Pathetic.

So, I'm restarting the job application machine. Although I have two possibilities on the horizon (still no word from Small Midwest College--STK thinks I'll get an offer, I have an odd feeling that I won't), it's time to try and make more contacts. Three more applications will go out by the end of the month.

The Questing Feast

Appetizer: What is something that never fails to grab your attention?

Liquor and cigarettes. I may no longer do either, but I'm ALWAYS aware of when either is around.

Soup: Who was the last person who gave you money, and what was it for?

I received an airfare reimbursement check from Small Midwestern College.

Salad: If you were a Smurf, what would your name be?

Ardent Smurf. And I'd refuse to be blue. I'd make myself a nice green.

Main Course: Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

Who knows. Some people seem to think it works for them. Who am I to question their beliefs? Personally, I believe I'm in control of my own destiny. The thought of life events being the result of my Pisces Sun sign resting in the 3rd house of Jupiter's eighth moon, Callisto, doesn't sit well with me.

Dessert: Have you seen any snow this year yet? What's the weather like today in your area?

In typical Colorado fashion, we've seen the usual snow-today-gone-tomorrow thing a couple of times. Today's weather: sunny and 50 (close to 60 tomorrow).

Grading, Grading, Grading, Keep That Adjunct Grading.

Since Saturday, December 3, I've graded 40 journals, 180 final projects, and 180 final exams. The exams were all graded between Monday and today. Oh, and I also managed to calculate 180 final grades this week. Although final grades aren't officially due until Tuesday morning, I submitted mine this afternoon. As such, I'm officially on break! ::cue Alice Cooper and "Schools Out . . ."::

What's up for the break? While I'd like to keep the agenda wide open, I suspect I'll be more busy than I'd like. I know the 24th and 25th will be tied up with family stuff; two days is WELL beyond my normal four hour limit of contiguous family time. How did I get duped into that? Speaking of the holidays, I still have shopping to finish. I'll hit the stores on Monday morning and hope most people will be at work. Any shopping center should be declared officially off limits this weekend. Other than the family stuff and shopping, I don't have anything definite planned. We might take a quick, three day trip, but that's contingent on an offer from Small Midwest College. If I don't hear anything by Wednesday, it's probably safe to assume I wasn't their first choice.

Intelligence

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

One Down, One to Go, Another Town and One More Show

Two days into finals week and I already have 99 exams graded and 99 final grades assigned. I'll receive another 40 exams on Thursday. Right after the exam, I'll retire to my office; the exams will be graded and final grades will be assigned. Repeat on Friday. Barring a catastrophy, I should have all my final grades assigned by 5 PM Friday. You know what that means, right? My break starts this weekend. Woohoo!

If I'm to receive an offer, I should hear something from Small Midwest College in the next week. If I understand the timeline correctly, the search committee should meet tomorrow and make a recommendation to the Dean. Once the Dean gives the stamp of approval, the offer gets made. I could hear something as early as tomorrow or as late as never (for those keeping score, that would mean I didn't get the job). Oddly enough, I received informal word today that I'm also a finalist for the position at Much Larger Southern University. I'll receive a formal campus visit invitation sometime in January. As most schools are wrapping up their Fall semester, informal word is often passed along this time of year (informal means the Search Committee hasn't had a formal meeting and filled out the appropriate paperwork). Schools like to give candidates a heads up in case there are other schools sending invites, making ofers, etc. If I'm offered the position at Small Midwest College, STK and I will be in something of a dilemna. Do we take the position at Small Midwest College or hold out for Much Larger Southern University? Additionally, I have a half dozen other applications that were due in December. Big decisions could be facing us in the next couple weeks. If Small Midwest College doesn't make an offer, there's obviously no dilemna.

These are the things that keep me up late at night. Is there a better example of an instance where I stress out about things that might not even come to pass? Fie upon it! About my brain!

Fog of War played on the Encore: True Stories channel tonight. I stumbled on the film quite by accident just as it started. McNamara provides fascinating insight into a turbulent time of U.S. American history. By the end of the film, you get the idea he has a great many regrets. For instance, in 1963 he recommended the U.S. get out of Vietnam; JFK felt otherwise. When Johnson took office, the rift between the President and the Secretary of Defense widened even further. McNamara says he felt obligated to carry out the President's wishes regardless of his personal opinion and belief.

STK and I are catching a screening of Un long dimanche de fiançailles (A Very Long Engagement) tonight. We love the director and the lead actress. I heard a review on NPR over the weekend that said the film is outstanding.

Diversity

Diversity is both beautiful and necessary.

--The Dalai Lama

You're Kidding, Right?

Finals begin today and I've managed to catch a nasty cold. Achoo! ::blows nose:: A couple students emailed me and asked that I send them lecture notes for days they missed class. Let me think about that for a moment ::ponders for a nanosecond:: No. As the syllabus clearly states, I'm not responsible for your absences; missing out on course lecture and discussion is the consequence for choosing to skip class. Here's a thought: borrow the notes from one of your colleagues rather than emailing your instructor. If you had your act together and checked your notes last week, you wouldn't be pleading for help in the wee hours of the morning before a test.

Critiquing Pop Culture

Okay, I managed to slog through the remaining popular culture essays (I also finished tweaking a revised journal article that will go back to reviewers on Monday AM--I've been a busy scholar, today). Since I ranted about the lack of original ideas--there were a handful of excellent essays--I decided to offer a quick list of artifacts that I think are worth a second look. Take a quick look at the actual assignment, then take a gander at my artifacts. You'll note that I make this assignment very clear cut. Most of my students are incoming freshman and haven't done any writing at the college level.
----
Utilizing the concepts of hegemonic (commonly held attitudes, beliefs, ideas) and counterhegemonic messages (messages that contradict, challenge, or resist prevailing cultural attitudes, ideas, beliefs), analyze a popular culture artifact of your own choosing. Appropriate artifacts include, but are not limited to, advertisements, television programs, films, music, architecture, clothing/attire, and art. As with all our writing assignments, I expect you to explain the concepts (hegemonic and counterhegemonic messages) and apply them to the artifact for analysis. Final papers should be 3-5 pages in length (double-spaced) and adhere to the tenets of good writing (organization, syntax, punctuation, etc.).

INTRODUCTION (½ page)
A good introduction catches the reader’s attention, identifies the artifact for analysis, reveals the theoretical approach to analyzing the artifact, and presents a clear thesis/preview statement.

BODY
The body of a critique usually focuses on four elements: description, method, analysis, and discussion/effects.

Description (½ page). Provide a brief description of the artifact for analysis. This description should give the reader the basic feel or gist of an artifact. For example, a description of a television program would likely include a discussion of the main characters and a typical storyline. A description should give the reader a basic understanding of the artifact. Always assume that a reader won’t have access to your artifact.

Method (½ page). Explain the concepts of hegemonic and counterhegemonic messages. This section of a paper is frequently called the “theory” section.

Analysis (2 pages). Discuss at least two hegemonic messages and two counterhegemonic messages put forth by your artifact. Use specific examples from the text to support your observations.

Discussion (1 page). Based on your analysis, how might this artifact influence the way we view our world? What does the artifact tell us about our attitudes, beliefs, and values? Does the artifact perpetuate or challenge a cultural myth? Does the artifact reinforce the dominant discourses of our society? Is that a positive or negative? Conversely, does the artifact challenge dominant discourses? Go beyond the obvious and discuss how you think the artifact might influence our culture. For instance, I could make the argument that the familial myth presented by 7th Heaven is a move toward integrating traditional family values with a more contemporary image of the family (mixed families, families challenged by real-life issues, etc.)

CONCLUSION ( ½ page)
A solid conclusion offers a brief summary of your points and offers a decisive closing statement.
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Top Ten Artifacts for Analysis.

Harry Potter.
Snoopy (or Peanuts).
Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer (the holiday special).
The DaVinci Code.
Starbucks.
The PowerPuff Girls.
Rocky (The Denver Nuggets' Mascot)
The Green Lantern.
Garden State.
Someone's blog (Mike or Tiffany would work just fine)

Less than five minutes and I generated TEN original topics. Your assignment is to generate your own Top Ten list of original artifacts for analysis. Go!

The Feast from 20,000 Fathoms

Appetizer: Make up a word and give us its definition.

Splendodorous (adjective)--a most excellent smell.
Example: That scent you're wearing is splendodorous!

Soup: What is currently your favorite song?

Really, Really Happy--The Muffs

Salad: What's at the top of your Christmas wish list this year?

World peace. If Santa can't manage to bring that my way, I'll settle for the Indiana Jones Trilogy on DVD. Can you believe I don't own that?

Main Course: Name a scent that reminds you of someone special in your life.

Amour, Amour. Bob Mackey. Both remind of STK. Mmmmm.

On a weider note, my dog's paws smell like buttered popcorn.

Dessert: Who is someone on television that you feel probably shouldn't be, and why?

O'Reilly. What an idiot.

::Thunk::

I also don't need another essay on Sex in the City.

::pounds head on desk::

Aargh!

I've been grading popular culture papers, almost non-stop, since Thursday evening. If I have to read one more critique of the Simpsons or Friends, I think I'll hurl. Come on, people! Of all the popular culture artifacts out there, you can only focus on two?! Seriously, I bet I've read 20 papers on these two shows. Next semester, I'm stressing the importance of originality in writing.

I just glanced through the remaining papers on the "To Grade" pile--there's yet another critique of The Simpsons . . . and Friends ::sobs::

Christapalooza

The Rude Pundit really cracks me up.

When O'Reilly declared that "overwhelmingly, America is Christian. And the holiday is a federal holiday honoring the philosopher Jesus," all the Rude Pundit could wonder is where the fuck's Plato's holiday? Or Kierkegaard's? Or perhaps John Locke's, considering his influence on, say, the actual creation of the country? And on Christmas, when people are heading to work at Wal-Mart and Denny's and all the other places that stay open so that Bill O'Reilly can have a merry Christmas, we'll all be thankful that even more overwhelmingly, in this America, cash, not Christ, is king. Is that insulting enough to O'Reilly's "majority"?

While I don't consider myself Christian, I do celebrate the holiday with my family (the majority of whom do consider themselves Christian). In and of itself, I have nothing against Christmas--I realize that roughly 80 percent of the U.S. does practice (or profess, rather. I've met a lot of people who claim to be Christian but don't really practice the religion) some form of the same religion. Much to O'Reilly's chagrine, that means one in five people you meet aren't Christian. Egads!

Miscellany

I'm still swamped at school. The moment I get caught up with all the grading, another tidal wave of papers/projects rocks my world. I keep reminding myself that it will all be over by December 21.

A few random thoughts.

• I take great solace in the fact that I'm the same age is Denny Neagle and not half as stupid.
• Star Wars: Clone Wars Animated fans rejoice!
• After a slow start and an embarrassing blowout last week, the Nuggets seem to have their shit together. The real test will be the upcoming 7 game roadtrip. My prediction: Nuggets go 2-5 and fans will be calling for Bzdelik's head. Historically, the Nuggets are absolutely terrible on this eastern swing. I see no reason to think things will go differently this time around.
• I'm giving serious consideration to dropping any Marvel comic that doesn't involve Kurt Busiek or Joss Whedon. The Thunderbolts and Amazing X-men aside, the "new" Marvel comics aren't very impressive (and haven't been for some time). On the verge of being cut from my reading list are The New Avengers and Iron Man. I've read these two titles for the better part of 20 years and both have been exceedingly mediocre for the last couple years. All the recent changes in artists and writers just aren't to my liking.
• On a more positive note, I love all of my present DC titles (Green Lantern, JLA, JSA, Teen Titans, The Outsiders). The Dark Horse Stars Wars titles are also exceptional.
• My present mindset is yet another reminder of my lack of patience. I hate waiting to hear important news (or a lack thereof).
• Students really need to learn that waiting until the week before finals to "discuss my course grade" really isn't a wise strategy. Any bets on how many times I'll have to say, "I don't offer extra credit" or "we should have been discussing strategies to improve your grades right after the 1st midterm"? Having I mentioned how much I dislike the end of a semester?
  
• I'm a little concerned about the rate with which my students' grandparents have been dying over the past week. It's a very odd epidemic, indeed. I may contact the Colorado Department of Health if the trend continues. To try and stem the tide, one of my colleagues now requires students to bring a bulletin from relevant commemorative services. According to said colleague, grandparents of her students seem to be in great health.
  
• Colorado higher education is still in dire straights. I need to get out of this state, pronto.
  

Feastmaster

Appetizer: Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood.

I had a mechanized tyrannosaurus with which I terrified my sister. Unlike the radio-controlled toys of today, this toy had a long wire that ran back to a small control unit. I could make the thing walk forward/back and roar. When it roared, its mouth would open and glow red (thanks to a small, red lightbulb). Listening to my sister scream was one of the highlights of my childhood.

Soup: If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?

Health care. The resistance to universal health care in this country is the epitome of self-centeredness. I'd gladly give up an additional 10% of my income if it meant everyone in our country could have health care. I'd be willing to give up even more if it meant the entire world could have access to health care.

Salad: Approximately how many times per day do you think about your significant other?

25? 50? I really have no idea. To some degree, STK is always in the back of my mind.

Main Course: Name something you believe in 100%.

The incompetence of the Bush administration. The fact that Rumsfeld is staying on as Secretary of Defense is exhibit A (for this week).

Dessert: List 3 things you did this year that you would consider a "good deed."

Helped a friend in need.
Bought a couple of children school supplies.
Donated clothes and food to needy families.

Midwest Intervew Tour

I returned from The Midwest Interview Tour late Friday afternoon. The trip proved a success, I believe; I connected with most of the faculty, the dean, and especially the students. I'm trying not to get too excited about the possibility of an offer (two candidates visit the school during the upcoming week), but I think that's a real possibility. Unless the remaining candidates really blow the socks off the students, I have that vote secured (several students already emailed the chair and pleaded with her to hire me). Since Midwest College (false name to protect the innocent) emphasizes teaching over research, the student voice has a great deal of pull.

The position itself would be perfect for me. The school is founded on a tradition of spirituality, service, and social justice and the professors are expected to display a commitment to the same values. Me, committed to spirituality and social justice? What? The communication department is in transition and will be adding four yet unamed courses in Fall 2005. The Chair stressed the need for a class combining media studies and rhetoric; Communication and Popular Culture, anyone? The Chair seemed genuinely enthused about the idea of my course--she mentioned it a couple times during our drive back to the airport.

The only drawback to the position is the location. The college is located in a small midwest town and will require a significant lifestyle adjustment on the part of STK and I. Her job might be a problem, too. Finding an art position in a town that has 4 public schools will be challenging. There are two cities within an hour drive and STK would likely have to look for work in those areas. In that case, we'd probably move somewhere between our places of work and split the commute.

If I'm offered the position, I should hear something before the Christmas holiday.

On the Road Again

My apologies for the lack of blogging. It's silly season at school and wave after wave of grading keeps crashing on my shore. 75 papers roll in on this Thursday, 40 next Tuesday, and 100 next Thursday. After that, finals week! That means I have 180 final exams to grade. Woohoo!

If that wasn't enough craziness for the next couple weeks, I'm flying out of town tomorrow AM and won't return until Friday afternoon. Last week, a school contacted me and invited me for a campus interview/visit. What does that mean? That means I'm one of three finalists for a tenure track position. As a finalist I get flown in for 36 hours of intense interviewing and a research presentation. Starting tomorrow evening, I interview with 7 faculty members, the Dean of the college, and a group of current students. To avoid totally jinxing myself I'll keep the name of the institution under wraps. Any positive energy sent my way (I'll be somewhere in the Midwest) would be greatly appreciated.

Oh, and I had a conference call interview with the search committee at another school yesterday morning. That was a very weird experience. I'm one of those people who really likes to see the facial expressions of the people to whom I'm speaking. As I couldn't see anyone to gauge a reaction, I have absolutely NO idea about how I did. If I don't hear back from them, I'll have my answer.

Feasting on Leftovers

Appetizer: How much money do you plan to spend this upcoming holiday season?

$200-300, most likely. I keep proposing to our respective families that we pool our holiday money and help feed people in need. Nobody's going for it. ::sighs::

Soup: What was the last television show you watched, and was it good?

The Apprentice. It was wonderful--Andy, the debate champ twerp, got fired. I'll offer my rant about debaters some day. Most of them think they're expert communicators when, in fact, they actually suck.

Salad: If you had to paint the walls of your living room tomorrow, what color would you choose?

I'd go with sage green.

Main Course: Name something clever or practical you have thought of that should be invented, but hasn't yet.

A handle or some other kind of carrying device for a 12 pack of toilet paper.

Dessert: List 3 things you would like to receive as gifts this holiday season.

Hellboy DVD.
A new pair of Levi 569 jeans.
Clone Wars Obiwan Kenobi Maquette

Blockheads

For the past two months, we've been going back and forth with the company that built our condo three years back. Over the summer we noticed our outside storage closet was leaking--water was seeping through the exterior brickwork and soaking the drywall of the closet. It's not a disaster, but we'd like it fixed. The builders have been great about trying to get the problem fixed at their own expense. A month ago, a bricklayer came out and did such a shoddy job that we couldn't even tell a repair had been done.

Two weeks ago I met with the building company construction manager and a mason and we talked about how to fix the problem permanently. We met at our condo so all three of us could see the problem. The mason immediately knew what needed to be done and we agreed the work would be finished sometime this week.

Today, while out walking the dogs, I noticed the bricklayers up on their scaffolding (we have a 3rd floor condo) working away . . . on the wrong condo. They had the right location of our condo but on the wrong freakin building. I politely mentioned that I thought they were working on the wrong condo. You should have seen the look on all three of their faces. I called the construction manager (we are now on a 1st name basis) and after his initial torrent of profanity, we both laughed pretty hard.

I'm guessing the problem won't get fixed today. Can you imagine having to contact the homeowner of the other condo? Yikes.

Update: the bricklayers are presently erecting a scaffold outside the condo. Maybe the repair will get finished today? You better believe I'll check on their work. I'm sure they're none too pleased with the tongue lashing they likely received from their boss. Angry employees usually results in shoddy work.

Snark

By way of Mike

You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of. And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!

What kind of blogger are you?

Really, I don't hink many bloggers are secretly scared of my "razor sharp wit." Yeah, I post a strong opinion or two but it's pretty easy to ignore my rantings. And what is up with the snarky woman in that image wearing thigh high boots? Am I seeing that properly?

Roast Feast

Appetizer: What do you think is the perfect age to get married? To have a first child? To retire?

Married: 22, 26, 35.
Child: 37.
Retire: Never!

Soup: If you could change occupations tomorrow, what would you want to do for a living?

Actually, I have no desire to change professions. I absolutely love what I do. Were I forced to find a new profession, I'd like to be a barista at a quaint, yet popular, coffee house and bookstore.

Salad: What does the color green make you think of?

Luke Skywalker's lightsaber. The Green Lantern.

Main Course: What is something that has happened to you over the last year that you didn't expect?

I received a small raise at work. Where the school found the $$$ (Colorado higher education has fallen upon some lean times), I'll never know.

Dessert: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

Thirteen, I think. It obviously wasn't all that memorable.

Holy Shit: All Aboard the Evangelical Express. WooWoo!

Somehow, I don't think Jesus would support the crap being spewed by the religious right. Check out all this ridiculousness.

*Creationism rears its ugly head, once again. Public schools in several states now have new rules when it comes to teaching evolution. Are you fucking kidding me? Didn't we have this debate back in the 1920s? Folks, creationism has NO place in public schools. Teach your damn intelligent design theory (a fancy term for creationism) in Sunday school. As someone who contributes to public schools via property taxes, I oppose the idea of presenting religious ideology via a biology class. When my child is old enough to attend public school, I'll absolutely flip my lid if someone uses a science class to teach my child that a religious myth is a viable counterpoint to scientific theory. Talk about pseudo-science. I suspect Jesus worked on the principle of attraction rather than promotion. I can't see Jesus hijacking a science class to do some preachin'!

*Kill the terrorists, even if a few civilians get in the way. 100,000 civilian casualties don't matter. Kill the terrorists! Let freedom ring. Just so everyone understands my stance on this: if you voted for Bush in 2000 or 2004, I hold you personally responsible for every single one of those deaths. I wonder what the Christian Prince of Peace would think about those numbers?

*As a moral person, you should love lepers, prostitutes, and thy enemy, but it's okay to hate homosexuals. They're undermining the American way of life and threatening the institution of marriage! Maybe I didn't learn enough about him during my 28 years as a student of his teachings, but that just doesn't seem like Jesus' style.

Given that I walked away from Christianity eight years ago, I suppose it's possible I missed something in Jesus' teachings but I doubt that's the case. My problem with Christianity was always the people who claimed to be followers of Jesus' teachings. More often than not, I found myself wondering what freakin book these people were reading because they definitely weren't getting the same message as I. Ultimately, I decided that no one text or spiritual view of the world had the answers, has the answers, or will EVER have the answers. Oddly enough, I think Jesus would probably be okay with that. President Bush and his sychophantic followers obviously disagree.

Get on board the neocon evangelical express, folks! If you're not with 'em, you're against 'em. And we all know how this administration deals with opposition: you're bombed, arrested, asked to resign your cabinet post, ignored, or marginalized.

Breakin

As of 5 PM yesterday, I'm on Thanksgiving break. Wahooo! While I don't have to teach or get up at 5 AM, I have many, many papers to grade. And that's the real myth of a mid-semester "break" from a teaching perspective--teachers don't really get a break. Still, I do have some breaking lined up for the week.

Here's what I have planned for the week.

1. theStart are playing in Denver tonight. w00t.
2. Cousin Jennifer's wedding. Most of my dad's side of the family will be in town for the joyous event. I'm not all that close to my dad's side of the family--I haven't seen many of my aunts and uncles in five years or so. As they're ultra conservative midwestern folk, I suspect my interactions with them will be very brief. Nobody ever said you have to agree with, or even like, members of your own family. Rest assured, I'll be in "tolerate" mode.
3. Grade 100 think pieces and 40 papers.
4. Dissertation, damnit.
5. Talk to colleague about possible submission to Virtual Community book.
6. Catch up on movies with STK: The Grudge, Ray, Postmen in the Mountains.

That should keep me busy, eh?

Call for Peace

"The U.S. election is simply unacceptable. No president, no matter how large the vote, has any authority to commit war crimes, to destroy cities from the air, to create inhuman prison systems beyond the rule of law, to violate the sovereignty of states. No franchise anywhere entitles any leader to subjugate foreign peoples, or to violate international law. Far from being a democratic "mandate" for Bush, the election is a mandate for world-wide resistance. As James Madison wrote: "Elective despotism is not the government we fought for."

Impact

Every once in a great while, I get a reminder of why I'm a teacher. Generally, I love what I do. The pay could be better, I suppose, but I'm someone who doesn't need a whole lot of "stuff" to be happy. The real payoff is the students you meet.

I received an email from a former student while I was in Chicago. She filled me in on her life and asked if STK and I would be attending an upcoming show (this student and I share a love of "girly punk rock." She concluded her email with the following.

Anyway-- I just wanted to say hello as I thought of you and your wife when I saw that theSTART was coming. I really enjoyed having you as a teacher at CSU-- the things I learned in your classes truly impacted me in a way you will never know! I was actually inspired by you to one day go into teaching and to further my education. You teach the topics that you love and that is
admirable. Thanks for all your hard work and passion for knowledge (and
girly punk rock)! I hope to keep in touch =)

How many people receive messages like this while working for a major corporation?

Feasting on Monday

Appetizer: Name 3 cosmetics/toiletries that you use on a daily basis.

Jason Certified Organic Tea Tree Oil Deodorant. Kiss My Face Olive Oil Moisturizer. Alba Mango Vanilla Shave Cream.

Soup: Approximately how much exercise do you get per week, and what type of exercise is it (walking, running, swimming, etc.)

I usually exercise five days a week. On M/W/F I stretch for 20 minutes, lift weights for a half hour, and run 3-4 miles or swim a mile. All told, my M/W/F workout takes about 1.5 hours. T/TH I'm on campus all day and do a great deal of walking (I intentionally requested an office with a remote location so I had further to walk to class). Weekend workouts are the same as the rest of the week minus the weight lifting.

Salad: Write a sentence including your favorite color and your favorite food.

On a good portabello mushroom sandwich, the mushroom should be dark, almost black, and never green.

Main Course: What famous person/celebrity do you think you look like?

While I don't think I look like many of these people, I've been compared to Joseph Fiennes, Alice Cooper (what?!), Jeff Buckley, Jim Carrey, and Johnny Depp.

Dessert: Name 2 simple things that never fail to make you happy.

Being greeted by my dog. Having Kathleen in my life.

Charmed, I'm Sure

My return from Chicago was generally uneventful. Overall, the convention experience was a success and worth the time spent away from home. The annual communication convention always provides the opportunity to catch up with old friends now scattered throughout the U.S., discuss the latest in communication scholarship, and develop a few work connections. Here's how the convention played out.

Thursday. Arrived in Chicago around 10:30 AM. Caught the "L" downtown and managed to arrive just in time to see Margie present some of her latest scholarship regarding "The Vagina Monologues." Margie and I had Greek salads at a local pub, then connected with Tess & Kristin. Minutes later, Monique arrived and we all grabbed a cup of java at a local coffee hourse. Although we didn't accomplish much in the way of academics, Thursday was a wonderful day of catching up with friends. Kristin, Tess, Mary, and I capped off the day with a delicious vegetarian meal at the Chicago Diner.

Friday. Friday was the day to make potential tenure track job connections. At 9 AM, I attended a panel in which the Search Committee Chair for a possible position participated and introduced myself. While the department in question won't start making decisions until later this month, I figure it can't hurt to put a face to my name. Around 11 AM I informally visited with the Associate Dean and faculty of one of the departments to which I applied.

Friday of the National Convention is the day when schools with potential openings set up a table at the Job Fair and chat with candidates. The Job Fair itself is a ridiculous affair at which ABD PhD candidates run around trying to impress people. Some candidates approach a table and launch into what is obviously a canned sales pitch, not unlike the polished presentation of an experienced salesperson. Personally, I find those individuals FAR too pushy and cheesey. While these aggressive individuals swoop in, make their pitch, and zoom out, I tend to take what I think is a more personal approach. I chit chat with the faculty about their department, their curriculum, and their city. I casually mention how my research and teaching abilities might contribute to their program. Rather than make the "this is why you should hire me" pitch, I try to make a personal impression. Let's face it, these schools already have a 100+ page application packet from me and they're semi familiar with my experience, research agenda, and teaching experience. The key, I think, is to show departments that you're a likeable colleague.

Back to the actual discussions. I think I made a favorable impression at the school where I focused most of my attention. The Associate Dean liked me so much that she made sure she introduced me to the chair of the department. Another of the faculty members made sure we exchanged email addresses. Regardless of whether I formally interview with her school, we're talking of collaborating on some work regarding science fiction/fantasy fandom and computer mediated communication. Like I said, make the personal impression and see what follows.

12 noon saw me sitting in a formal interview with a liberal arts college to which I applied. I made the initial cut and found myself one of eight remaining candidates for the position. Each of the eight candidates met with two of the faculty on the search committee. Based on those conversations, the faculty will invite three of the eight for formal campus visits. A formal campus visit consists of a day or two interview at which a candidate gives a research presentation, does some sample teaching, and talks one-on-one with most of the faculty. I walked away from the interview with a good feeling and won't be surprised if I make the cut to the final three.

Early Friday evening I reconnected with several of my colleagues and we party hopped for a couple hours. Many schools have receptions for former graduate students, current faculty, and others somehow associated with the programs. More than anything, these are an opportunity to catch up with friends and colleagues.

Saturday. Saturday was a fairly uneventful day. Had I not been invited to an evening reception for one of the schools to which I applied, I probably would have flown home. I spent most of the day walking around Chicago. The evening reception proved fruitful, however, and I spent a good 45 minutes talking to one of the members of the search committee. I also chatted with four or five other members of the faculty. Despite the repeated reminder by faculty members that his was an informal gathering and NOT to be considered a job interview, several other candidates did the "this is why you should hire me" speech. I hung back, let them bully their way through meeting the faculty, and moved in later for casual conversation.

I'm glad to be home. By the end of Saturday evening, I'd exhausted my supply of charm. Although I don't necessarily like the kinds of interactions necessary to get a formal interview, I'm fairly good at it. As Gene and Kathleen have both remarked on different ocassions, I have a way with people (or can at least give the impression that I'm good with people). The real test of my charm will come over the next couple weeks. If I don't receive an invite for an interview with any of the four schools on which I focused my attention, we'll know I'm not half as charming as I like to think I am.

Time will tell.

The Windy City

I'm posting from the East Exhibition Hall of the National Communication Association in Chicago. I spent most of the day making contacts and interviewing for a couple positions. If anything comes about, you can bet I'll report it here. Gotta love playing the game.

With any luck I'll be back to regular blogging sometime Sunday or Monday.

Dress for today: Olive green dress slacks, white dress shirt, green & purple tie (it passed the STK fashion test), black vest, black blazer, hip looking pocket watch, Doc Marten shoes, and hip chain wallet. My colleagues tell me I'm stylin' and profilin'. A cool, hip academic? Absolutely.

Chill Out

From humorscope.com via Mike.

Calculating your superhero identity for the day...

Searching secret NSA documents...
Attempting to contact your third grade teacher...*
Tossing electrons in the air...

Your Superhero Identity For Today Is:

Name: Ice Dude
Secret Identity: Derek
Special Power: Incredible Energy
Transportation: Electric Chopper
Weapon: Psychotronic Blade
Costume: Alligator Helmet
Sidekick: Dirk Deadly
Nemesis: Eric the Puzzler
Tragic Flaw: Addicted to squash
Favorite Food: Green Beans

*Actually, if they'd contact my parents they can find my third grade teacher ASAP. My folks have been best friends with my third grade teacher and her husband since the mid 1970s.

Free Mind

With a free mind,
In no debt,
Enjoy what has been given to you.

-Therigatha, translated by Susan Murcott

From "365 Buddha: Daily Meditations," edited by Jeff Schmidt. Reprinted by arrangement with Tarcher/Putnam, a division of Penguin Putnam Inc.

The Loyal Opposition

I decided to let a few days pass before commenting on the election. Since Wednesday morning, I've heard repeated calls for liberals and conservatives to set aside their differences and work together for the good of the country. Mike seems to think this is a pretty solid idea. To Mike and all the others calling for unification: prepare to be disappointed. I, for one, have no intention of tempering my criticisms of this ridiculous excuse for an administration. Nothing has changed since Tuesday. Not. One. Thing. In fact, the two days since the election have increased my apprehension. Bush is escalating the war in Iraq (expect a major assault on Fallujah ASAP--the election is complete and political fallout is no longer a concern) and pushing a legislative agenda that includes privatizing social security, increasing tax cuts to the wealthy (it'll help the poor--voodoo economics, folks), and pushing his religious beliefs (abstinence only sex education, faith based welfare reform, another attempt at a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage). Oh, yeah. I'll unite on all those issues. Where do I sign up?

I'm also sick and tired of all this talk about "morals" and "values." Does anyone even know what these terms really mean? Save yourself the trouble of looking them as I did it for you.

Moral. According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, the term "moral" means: "1 a : of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior : ETHICAL b : expressing or teaching a conception of right behavior c : conforming to a standard of right behavior d : sanctioned by or operative on one's conscience or ethical judgment e : capable of right and wrong action"

Value. Referring to Merriam-Webster once again, a value is "something (as a principle or quality) intrinsically valuable or desirable ."

Taken together, a discussion of "morals" and "values" centers on issues of right/wrong, good/bad, just/unjust as well as the actions, behaviors, and virtuous qualities exhibited by the members of our culture. It strikes me that the U.S. American press and people have confused egocentric religiosity with "morals" and "values." Casting a vote based on whether a leader supports a woman’s right to choose isn’t moral, it"s an attempt to foist your religious belief on others. Taking an anti-abortion stance may be "moral" from your particular point of view, but it isn't the just choice for an entire nation. Voting to define marriage as a union between a man and woman isn't moral either. Instead, that's the institutionalization of religious belief (and a bigoted one at that). If a person wants to believe a marriage is between a woman and man, that's their personal right. I fail to see, however, how formally denying an entire group of people civil rights is remotely moral. Ridding Iraq of evil-doers (I won’t even get into how the term "evil" is subjective) seems like a moral act. Once you factor in the deaths of 100,000 innocents, the act doesn't seem so just.

And that's what I think is at stake over the next four years. Our country has a fundamental divide over what constitutes moral action. On one side of the schism stands those who would push personal, religious morals on the majority of the country via legislation. On the other side stands those who push for a more altruistic, public form of morality. The latter, of course, requires that people put aside their personal belief and allow others to live their lives as they see fit. Take my beliefs regarding gun control, for instance. Personally, I see absolutely no need for private ownership of handguns. Handguns have one solitary purpose: to kill human beings. My personal belief, grounded in my spiritual practice, is that handguns are a tremendous source of destruction in our country and that our country would probably be a less violent place without them. Despite my complete personal commitment to non-violence, banning handguns would not be the right decision for our country. While my private morality moves me to speak out against personal handgun ownership, my sense of public morality suggests the choice to own a handgun should be protected.

Will I join with the people who granted Bush a second term? I don't think there's any chance of that. I cannot side with people who attempt to push their religious agenda on an entire nation. I will continue to rant on this blog and I will continue to debate the people I encounter in my day-to-day interactions. I will continue to attend protests and I will do my best to oppose most of the Bush administration’s policies. 59 million people may have voted him into office, but I didn't. 59 million people may agree with Bush and his policies, but I don't. These calls for "unity" and "healing" are nothing more than an attempt to get dissenters like me to stop raising a ruckus. While I won't engage in the hyperbole of "mass emigration" and "revolution" espoused by many of my progressive colleagues, I do agree the nation is in for four more years of disastrous decisions. Four more years of war, corporate cronyism, and threatened civil rights. If I feel our country is headed in the wrong direction, how can I NOT speak out?

I have a sign hanging above my desk at school that reads, "Courage begins with one voice." I intend to use my voice to the greatest extent possible.

Random Halloween Chaos

STK and I spent a fairly quiet weekend. While Halloween is our favorite holiday, neither of us were really up for major parties and craziness. So, our weekend looked something like the following.

Friday. We spent three hours waiting in line for early voting, 1.5 hours of which was spent in chilly weather made even more frigid by the wind. Failing to realize the cool temps, I wore a spring jacket and froze my ass off. Okay, not all the way off but I did manage to chill myself to the bone. The wind and cold did wonders for my "kind of" cold--sometimes I feel like I kind of have a cold and sometimes I don't. Feeling sniffly, we begged off a Dia de le Muertos party we were supposed to attend and opted for a home viewing of Army of Darkness.

Saturday. Spent several hours updating my wardrobe, something that hadn't been done in a couple years. Purchased new black undershirts, two dress shirts, three pairs of dress pants (2 black, 1 green), and two vests (1 burgundy/1 silver--each has real pockets for my pocket watch). I'm heading off to a convention in November and need to dress slick. After the shopping spree, I went out for a late afternoon run. To continue our home holiday festivities, STK and I watched It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and the Halloween episode from the 2nd season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Sunday. We're planning on catching Ju-on, the original Japanese version of The Grudge (we'll probably see the American version in the next couple weeks). That will likely wrap up our Halloween festivities.

Mememememememememememememe

From Mike by way of Cindy.

I AM: my own worst critic.
I WANT: a platinum blonde life, whatever that means. Actually, I really want a Honda Civic hybrid.
I HAVE: 35 assorted action figures on my desk.
I WISH: my dog could live as long as a human. He's pushing 10.5 years old and I dread the day he'll leave my side.
I HATE: automated phone campaigning. I already voted, damnit! Quit calling our number! And cell phones. I despise the damn things.
I MISS: cigarettes. Every. Freakin. Day.
I FEAR: I'll never land a tenure track job.
I HEAR: I'll make a good dad. Time will tell.
I SEARCH: the world for the perfect piece of black licorice.
I WONDER: if other planets harbor life.
I REGRET: many of the things I did during the drinking days. Not a day goes by when I don't think of someone I hurt and wish I'd behaved differently.
I ALWAYS: question my decisions. Repeatedly. Should I admit that publicly? Crap.
I AM NOT: a pseudo-intellectual liberal. I'm an authentic intellectual liberal, thanks.
I DANCE: whenever I go to a goth club.
I SING: in my car constantly.
I CRY: at movies, but rarely as a result of real life events. Go figure.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: the most pleasant of morning people.
I WRITE: the songs that make the whole world sing. Actually, I write obscure academic pieces that very few people will ever read.
I WON: a Midway Airlines coffee mug at an Old Chicago restaurant sometime during the early 1990s.
I LOST: a pair of Rayban sunglasses at a grocery store in the early 1990s.
I CONFUSE: what might happen with what is happening. As such, I spend a great deal of time freaking out about things that never come to pass.
I NEED: coffee. Several times a day.
I SHOULD: probably be working on my dissertation or a journal article.
MY FATHER THINKS I AM: weird.
MY MOTHER THINKS I AM: compassionate.
MAKES ME HAPPY: peace.
UPSETS ME: War. How anyone can see violent confrontation as a viable problem-solving strategy is completely beyond my comprehension.
THE PRETTIEST FEMALE I KNOW: Kathleen.
THE PRETTIEST MALE I KNOW: Johnny Depp.
THE WEIRDEST PERSON I KNOW: me.
THE LOUDEST PERSON I KNOW: Mark. Thank goodness I haven't seen him in months.
THE SEXIEST PERSON I KNOW: Kathleen. I could watch her dance for hours and hours.
YOUR CLOSE FRIENDS: Mike. Joe. Kathleen. Tess.
THE PERSON THAT KNOWS THE MOST ABOUT YOU: Kathleen.
MY MOST OVERUSED PHRASE:
THE LAST IMAGE/THOUGHT I GO TO SLEEP WITH: Usually some goofy thought about UFOs, Atlantis, ghosts, or other aspects of the paranormal. I listen to Coast to Coast AM as I fall asleep every night.
WANT TO GET MARRIED: Sure. In fact, I'd recommend several marriages. That's the only way to find the person with whom you're REALLY supposed to spend the rest of your life.
HAVE ANY TATTOOS WHERE? Four. Celtic triskele between my shoulder blades, a celtic crescent moon around my navel, Chinese script for "Tao" on my upper right arm, and the Chinese script for "Heaven and Earth" on my left upper arm.
SCREEN NAMES: Candidus (a pseudonymn used by Samuel Adams prior to the American Revolution).
SIGN: Pisces.
NATURAL HAIR COLOR: Brown.
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: Brown & grey.

Thread

I'm sure my lack of posting has been noticed by a few. My world has been EXTREMELY hectic for the last couple weeks. So hectic, that I've been barely hanging on by a thread. Welcome to my world.

1. The midterm deluge had me swamped for a couple weeks. All told, I graded 40 journals, 35 papers, and 175 exams. I just finished the last exam earlier today. I moved a test back one day in an upcoming class so I can have two weekends to write. Writing has been on the back burner for far too long.

2. Thirteen tenure track job applications have been mailed--the 14th will likely go out on Friday. An academic job application consists of a vita, cover letter, research statement, teaching philosophy, writing samples, teaching evaluations, and sample syllabi. All told, my application packet is over 100 pages. Easy right? Wrong. Each school needs an individual letter describing what you can bring to their department. On the day I sent out one of the apps, I found out that school has an inside candidate. An inside candidate is usually an adjunct already teaching at the school. When an inside candidate is in the mix, it's almost impossible to land a job at that school.

3. I spent much of last week listening to Starhawk at a local peace workshop. Several years ago, her writings changed my life. Spending several hours learning from her was most excellent.

4. I'm still freaking out about the prospect of being a dad again. First doctor's appointment is next week. The less I think about all of that the better.

5. Reading: Hegemony or Survival. Faith of the Fallen.

6. Listening: Anna Waronker. Siouxsie and the Banshees.

Feastivus

Appetizer: Name 3 things that you are wearing today.

Black converse. Baggy Levi's. Black Hanes t-shirt.

Soup: Who was the last person you hugged?

Kathleen. I also got hugged by a student yesterday. Before anyone gets any silly ideas, this is a student who is 30 years old, married, and has taken a number of my classes. With a select handful of students (maybe three or four over my 12 year teaching career), that line between teacher/student/friend gets a little hazy. I could definitely see Kathleen and I hanging out with this student and her husband (after she graduates, of course).

Salad: What do you like to order from your favorite fast food place?

#36 (a vegetarian sandwich). The independently owned sub shop we frequent lists all the sandwiches by number. I always get the #36. The sandwich consists of wheat bread, lettuce, tomato, onion, jalapenos, pickles, black olives, green peppers, and four types of cheese (provolone, cheddar, mozzarella, parmesan). Hold the italian dressing (I HATE any kind of oil on a sandwich), salt, and pepper. As we always get Sub Stop to go, I splash a little balsamic vinegar on the stack when we get home. Mmmmm.

Main Course: What time of day do you usually feel most energized?
Sometime between 10 PM and 2 AM.

Dessert: Using the letters in your first name, write a sentence.
Dangerous echinoderms radiate extreme Kelvins.

Payback

From an article on ESPN.com.

7.0 -- Every time Larry Bird played against Kent Benson. (Note: Back in 1976, the Fledgling Basketball Jesus enrolled at Indiana University and left after a few unhappy weeks, eventually settling down at Indiana State two years later. During his brief I.U. stage, Bird felt that some of the veteran players on the team, including Benson, hadn't been very nice to him. So when he made the NBA, he went out of his way to embarrass Benson -- a mediocre big man for the Pistons -- at every opportunity. This culminated in Kevin McHale's 56-point game in 1985, when Bird kept feeding McHale on the low post because Benson couldn't handle him. The lesson, as always: Don't mess with Larry Bird.)

I love that story. I worshipped Larry Bird and the Celtics during the 1980s. What's not to like?

Scotty, We Need More Power!

After running Gene's recommended test, I had little hope for salvaging my computer.* So, I packed it up and took it to a local mom and pop computer shop--which is literally run by a mom and pop--to talk about testing the remaining components (ethernet card, video card, RAM, hard drive, etc.) and a possible rebuild. After the computer whiz confirmed my PC wouldn't do anything, he tried a spare power source. Viola! Ten minutes later a new power source is strapped in and humming along. Time in the shop: 15 minutes. $50 for a new power source and $25 for labor is FAR better than $600-700 for a completely new PC.

All things considered, I'm lucky I dodged the fried motherboard/CPU bullet. Thank the maker.

*To Gene's credit, he did say there was outside shot I'd fried the power source. Good call, Gene.

Fuck

I think I just fried my computer--I'm working on my old spare that I keep for emergencies. A fan on my regular computer was making a loud rattle so I closed everything down, cleaned up the fan, and started the computer. Everything was running fine until I put the cover back on without shutting the computer down. I know, I know. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. i thought I'd take a shortcut and paid the price. Anyway, a nice little arc of blue lightning shot from the cover to the computer casing and everything shut down. Now, no matter what I do, the computer won't start. Period. There's electricity getting to the machine--the internet light for the ethernet card is working. Any suggestions? How the hell do I tell if I've trashed the motherboard?

Harmony and Peace

Because we all share this planet earth, we have to learn to live in harmony and peace with each other and with nature. This is not just a dream, but a necessity.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

From "The Pocket Dalai Lama," edited by Mary Craig, 2002. Reprinted by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Boston, www.shambhala.com.

The Circle of Life

My mother called on Friday morning. I could tell by the quiver in her voice, the trembling quality just before tears begin, that everything wasn't okay. Thursday morning my folks received a call: Marge, a family friend from our old Iowa neighborhood, passed away. My parents visited Iowa several weeks ago and had the opportunity to see Marge one last time. When they visited, it was generally understood she was failing and probably wouldn't see the end of the year. Anyway, I consoled my mother the best I could. My mother seemed a little surprised that Marge's death didn't affect me significantly. As I explained to her, we moved away from Redfield, Iowa almost 25 years ago and, unlike my parents, I haven't kept in touch with anyone. While I have fond memories of growing up in that sleepy little midwestern town, I really don't feel much connection (although I still consider Iowa "home." Weird, eh?). It wasn't until I got off the phone that I realized what the call was all about. My parents are ageing and this is the first friend they've lost. The phone call wasn't really about Marge, but my mother's mortality. To some degree, I think she's afraid of dying.

Unlike many people, I have little fear of dying. Life, death, and rebirth are the unstoppable cycle of the universe. Everything begins; everything ends. I don't believe in an afterlife and I don't believe in reincarnation, per se. Is there some energy that travels on after death? Maybe, but I don't believe it retains any cognizance of a past life or any conciousness of an altered state. When I die, my life energy will return to the broader fabric of the cosmos maybe to return as part of a coyote, an oak tree, or even other person. In a sense, I will live forever as part of an infinite cycle of life, death, and rebirth. The essence of who I am, however, will cease to be. And that's why I think it's so important to learn the lessons of humanity, to the best of our ability, right now. If I choose to live a miserable life, all I get is a miserable life. No redemption, no do-overs. If I choose to live life free of attachments, a life filled with happiness and laughter, all I get is a happy life. That's not to say there aren't real pains in the world. Illness and injury happen, people say and do things that might cause us psychological pain, and unfortunate events occur. How we choose to contextualize all those things, however, determines the quality of our life. The degree to which we allow illness, other people, and misfortune affect our lives is entirely up to each one of us.

With all the talk of death lately (Christopher Reeve, Derrida, Marge), I think it's important to note that the circle of life does continue. As Mike and I discussed a couple weeks ago, when anything ends something begins. That's the way of the universe. For every relationship that ends, another begins. For every life that ends, another begins. Last night, Kathleen and I attended a wedding and the event reminded me of this fact. In the context of Kayleen and Ron's beautiful wedding, another event was also celebrated. Halfway through the evening, Kayleen approached our table and thanked her graduate school friends for attending (Kathleen, Kayleen, Jenn, and Malinda all attended the same Master's program in Art Curriculum). In the middle of celebrating her new marriage, Kayleen stopped next to Kathleen and I, kneeled down (not an easy task in a wedding dress), put her hand on Kathleen's stomach and said, "Congratulations. I can't wait to meet the little baby in there."

Maybe it's because I'm going to be the father of this new person, but that image will stick in my mind for a long time. In the middle of an event that typically overwhelms most of us, Kayleen took the focus off herself and the beginning of her marriage and recognized another beginning.

I'm going to be a dad. I'm thrilled. I'm terrified. I'm afraid we'll find out something is wrong when we go to the doctor in two weeks. I'm afraid I'll lose my cool during a 3 AM feeding. I'm afraid I'll screw the child up and she or he will need years of therapy. Despite my fears, I'm focusing on the happiness that's about to enter our lives. I'm excited about watching life unfold in front of me. I'm excited about rocking my child to sleep after a 3 AM feeding. I'm excited about creating an environment in which this person becomes who she or he wants to be.

Life, death, rebirth. The circle of life continues.

Triple Shot Meme

From Playing School, Irreverantly

Three of each.

Pet Peeves: cell phones, sexist language, running late.
Favorite Sounds: dried leaves swirling, snowfall, a trumpet concerto.
Favorite Flavors of Candy: Black licorice, blue raspberry, white chocolate.
Biggest Fears: sharks, not finding a job, being a parent.
Biggest Challenges: Staying balanced, grading papers (I'm having a difficult time getting on task this weekend), patience.
Favorite Department Stores: Target, Barnes and Noble (although I should shop at independent book stores, there's a B&N within two minutes of the condo), Best Buy.
Most Used Words: Subjectivity, counter-hegemonic, fuck.
Favorite Pizza Toppings: Mushrooms, Black Olives, Green Peppers.
Favorite Cartoon Characters: Starfire (Teen Titans), PowerPuff Girls, Green Lantern.
Movies Recently Watched: Rebel Without a Cause, Boondock Saints, Napolean Dynamite.
Favorite Fruits: Bananas, Pears, Honeydew Melon (which I don't eat often enough)
Favorite Vegetables: Broccoli, Asparagus, Green Peas.

Florida Electronic Ballot

Amusing.

Fancy Feast

Appetizer. What is your favorite beverage?
Kaladi Bros coffee, of course.

Soup. Name 3 things that are on your computer desk at home or work.
Green Lantern maquette. Ring Wraith figures. Mace Windu.

Salad. On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being highest), how honest do you think you are?
8.5--I've been known to exaggerate when telling a story.

Main Course. If you could change the name of one city in the world, what would you rename it and why?
Greeley, CO >>>>> Whatisthatsmell, CO

Dessert. What stresses you out? What calms you down?
Thinking about the future. Running, swimming, meditating.

Canada or Bust

A big broadcast scandal is brewing. According to various news reports, The Sinclair Broadcast Group plans to broadcast an anti-Kerry program the night before the election. No problem, right? Wrong. Sinclair is REQUIRING all its affiliates (62 stations in 39 markets that include battleground states including Ohio and Florida. Sinclair reaches 24% of the entire country) to run the program. The important thing to note here is that we're talking BROADCAST television (cable, a medium in which viewers self-select into the system, is an entirely different beast). Technically, Sinclair Broadcasting owns the stations from which programs are broadcast, NOT the airwaves over which programs are transmitted. The actual airwaves are owned by the public. Every ten years a station has to apply for license renewel (a license to lease the designated frequency) and prove that it has served the public interest. If a station doesn't serve the public interest, the license can be denied. Admittedly, this is a very simplistic explanation for an extremely complicated process. Nonetheless, this is why media ownership laws are so freakin important. The owner of Sinclair Broadcasting now has access to crucial constintuencies and can potentially influence an election with his self-serving propaganda (the owner admits to being a Republican). Worst of all, the FCC (chaired by the son of Colin Powell), refuses to step in. How is broadcasting a partisan program with the obvious intention of undermining one candidate serving the public interest? It isn't. Period.

Imagine the freakout if Michael Moore somehow convinced a major media group to air Farenheit 9/11 over public airwaves the night before the election. Rush Limbaugh would explode, Dick Cheney would publicly tell Moore to "Go fuck yourself!" and Bill O'Reilly would lead the storming of the FCC castle.

And people wonder why I'm cynical about the US political process? Vote for who you wish. They're all a corrupt bunch of fools drastically out-of-touch with real people like me. I'm washing my hands of this entire process. With a few weeks to go, I have serious doubts as to whether or not I'll even vote. In all seriousness, what's the point? It's not about you, me, or the 270,000,000 individuals in this country--it's all about corporate influence and big $$$$$$.

I wonder if any universities in Canada are hiring?

Damn You, Tara Maclean!

Years ago, during an almost three year hiatus from dating (a result of a divorce and the start of my Ph.D.), I developed a serious celebrity crush on Tara MacLean. Okay, this probably went beyond a celebrity crush. I've always understood that celebrities are virtually unapproachable--no matter how "right" you think might be for someone you'll likely never meet them face to face. Tara, however, was different. When she toured she played small venues like coffee houses, dive bars, etc. On two occasions, I actually had the opportunity to sit down with her and actually talk after a show (I pride myself in not being that typical, star struck fan). On one such occasion, I showed her my triskele tattoo. I discovered the design (I'd been looking for an appropriate triskele for almost a year) for my tattoo imprinted on one of Tara MacLean's CDs.* She saw the tattoo, screamed, and kissed it (it's on my back). ::swoon:: Then she yelled for her husband to check it out. That's right--husband. Knowing she was married, I never made my move.

As the years have gone by, I've followed Tara's career but always realized that I had no chance with a married woman. Now, to my surprise, I discover Tara is no longer married. I find the person with whom I'm going to spend the rest of my life and Tara decides to divorce? Damn you, Tara MacLean! What rotten timing! If this was four years ago, you and I could have had a tawdry affair every time you visited Denver! Unfortunately, you blew it with a silly marriage detour and lost your chance!

*You can see the design for my tattoo on the bottom of the index page for her website.

Farewell, Superman.

Christopher Reeve, the actor I will always remember as Superman, died today. The first two Superman movies are a couple of my all-time favorite films. Is there anything better than the Metropolis cage match pitting Superman vs General Zod, Ursula, and Non? Even more admirable than his performances as Superman, however, was Reeve's relentless advocacy of spinal cord research. Although I never met him, Reeve always seemed like a genuinely likeable and decent human being.

What's with the people I like and admire dying this weekend? Bizarre.

Hey Dude, You Know Your Thing's On Fire?

In response to my link to the Avengers Disassembled parody, Curtis suggests giving Avengers Toys: Disassembled! a read.

Hysterical. Man, that Quicksilver is fast.

Adieu, Jacque. Adieu.

Jacque Derrida died Friday.

Updated (10/10/04): More on Derrida.

Father of Deconstruction
Multiple Layers of Meaning

Attention Comic Book Geeks

As comic book geeks are aware, The Avengers comic will end with issue #503. Mavel released a 4 page preview of the comic and some comic geek made a parody. Let the hilarity begin!

#503 Preview Parody

Feast-o-Rama

Appetizer What are your plans for the upcoming weekend?
Not a whole lot. Kathleen is out of town at an art conference and doesn't return until late Saturday night. As such, I'm going to use the time to pull together a couple application packets, continue to edit a journal article, and work on the dissertation. Swimming laps is on tap for later this afternoon, a long run is probably in the cards sometime during the course of the weekend. I'm hoping we'll go see The Story of the Ramones on Sunday afternoon.

Soup Who was the last person you talked to on the telephone?
Kathleen. She called from her conference to chat for a few minutes.

Salad Name a hobby that you've tried but eventually gave up for some reason.
Stamp collecting. Egads, what a boring hobby. Sorry the stamp collectors out there, but I just couldn't get into it.

Main Course What is the most important personality quality in a mate?
Compassion.

Dessert Why is the sky blue (be creative with your answer)?
Because it isn't red.

Spiritual Revolution

My call for a spiritual revolution is thus not a call for a religious revolution. Nor is it a reference to a way of life that is somehow other-worldly, still less to something magical or mysterious. Rather, it is a call for a radical re-orientation away from our habitual preoccupation with self towards concern for the wider community of beings with whom we are connected, and for conduct which recognizes others’ interests alongside our own.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

From "The Pocket Dalai Lama," edited by Mary Craig, 2002.

Still Feasting

Appetizer What sound, other than the normal ringing, would you like your telephone to make?

The ominous breathing of Darth Vader, the Red Alert! klaxon from Star Trek, or the roar of Godzilla.

Soup Describe your usual disposition in meteorological terms (partly cloudy, sunny, stormy, etc.).

Pleasant and mostly sunny--a bit windy at times--with an outside chance of severe thunderstorm activity.

Salad What specific subject do you feel you know better than any other subjects?

I've been told I'm probably one of country's foremost experts on the writings of Starhawk and Calvin O. Schrag.

Main Course Imagine you were given the ability to remember everything you read for one entire day. What books/magazines/newspapers would you choose to read?

I'd read as many tomes from my academic discipline as possible. That knowledge would continue to serve my academic interests for the rest of my life. Now that's a gift that keeps on giving.

Dessert If a popular candy maker contacted you to create their next candy bar, what would it be like?

Hmmmm . . . I'm not that big on candy bars but I'll give it a shot. Let's start with a cookie that has the consistency of a moist shortbread (soft, not crunchy) and tastes like a lemon bar. Dunk the thing in white chocolate and call it a day. I'd call it a Lemony Snicket, or Snicket bar, and cross market with the upcoming film. When the next X-men movie comes out, I'd do more cross promotion and spell the bar, Snikt.

A Lugubrious Irritant

A while back, Mike had a post about the term, "lugubrious." At the time, I pledged to use the term somewhere within my dissertation. Here's the result:

Summoned from the words and actions of the bottle throwing incident, interpellated subject positions emerge. The term "freak" evokes the subject position of the social deviant, the disaffected outcast, and the introverted loner who, unable or unwilling to adhere to traditional social conventions, finds herself or himself isolated from most others. The disaffected or alienated individual is positioned as a potential threat to others, a lugubrious irritant in need of psychological assistance (e.g. troubled youth), or an isolated annoyance to be ignored or harassed (e.g. social introvert, geek, nerd). Interpellated as a threat, irritant, or annoyance, the "freak" assumes the role of social problem or cultural oddity and finds himself or herself subjected to various fixes (e.g. dress codes, social ostracization). The interpellation of the "freak" also implicates a subject position for the hegemonic cultural other. In choosing to hurl the pejorative epithet, the hegemonic cultural other assumes a position of dominance, of an individual entitled to punish or discipline a subordinate. Encountering the subcultural self, the hegemonic cultural other issues a forceful reminder of traditional social conventions and hierarchies.