Hail the Liberators!

When the U.S. entered Iraq back in March 2003, neocons and political moderates alike suggested that the people of Iraq would welcome U.S. troops as triumphant liberators. That didn't happen. Today, neocons and other Bush supporters wonder why the Iraqi people aren't celebrating their new found freedoms. Maybe supporters of the war effort should turn off Fox News (fair and balanced, my ass) and read some real news.

Despair at Childrens' Hospital
Car Bombs
Heart of Darkness

Micro Movie Reviews

We spent a lot of time at the movies this weekend. Three quick reviews follow.

Travellers and Magicians.
Excellent balance of imagery, humor, and philosophy. A joy to watch. Excellent parallels between the journeys of Dondup and Tashi.
Rating: Five prayer flags (out of five).

Raising Helen.
Cool mom. Cool kids. Cool pastor. Traditional hollywood fare meant to be enjoyed at a matinee or on DVD.
Rating: Three stuffed hippos.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Hippogriffs, dementors, and werewolves! Oh, my! Best of the HP movies to date (my favorite book, too). Excellent effects, clear narrative. Alan Rickman as Professor Snape continues to steal every scene of which he's part. Gary Oldman, playing the part of Sirius Black, gives Rickman a run for his money. Expecto Petronum!
Rating: Four and half choruses of "Something Wicked This Way Comes."

Shorts

We saw Travellers and Magicians last night. Four enthusiastic thumbs up. If you get a chance to see this, go.

We're off to the Shambhala Meditation Center this morning. Although STK and I are both proficient meditators, we're looking for a bit of guided meditation.

Raising Helen may be on the agenda for an afternoon matinee. While we love independent and foreign films, we also enjoy traditional holiday fare. We'll catch Harry Potter and the Prisoner and Azkaban, my favorite of the HP books to date, at a late night showing on Monday or Tuesday. Late night shows = less mewling kids. Gotta love the fact that we're both teachers and can spend the summer months staying out late.

Robert Jensen is speaking at the Breakdown Book Collective, tomorrow night. We'll probably check out the PantsOnFire mobile on Tuesday night.

Summer is off to a great start.

Godspeed

Former President Reagan died today. I know I spend a great deal of blog space ranting against Republicans. Eighteen years ago, during my freshman year of college, I considered myself a Ronald Reaganite and Young Republican. To aggravate my more liberal dorm mates, I taped a newspaper image of Reagan wearing a Chicago Cubs jacket right next to my bed. I wish I could find that picture--it was definitely a classic.

Even though I'd adamantly oppose Reagan's policies in 2004, I recognize that he had a profound influence on my life. Reagan's speech accepting the presidential nomination at the 1984 Republican National Convention was the first text I critiqued as a rhetorical scholar. I enjoyed writing the essay, recieved one of the few "A" grades in the class, and discovered I had a real knack for rhetorical criticism. That essay contributed significantly to my emergance as a life-long academic. Whether you agree with his politics or not, it's hard to dispute that he was one of the best Presidential speakers of the 20th century.

Godspeed, Mr. President.

T-Minus 349 Days and Counting

Only 349 days until the release of Star Wars, Episode III.

Good news on the Clone Wars animated series front. 20 new episodes will air in Spring 2005. According to TheForce.net:

More Clone War Cartoons
Wed, Jun 02, 04 09:08:15 AM EDT

Princess Leia tells us that 20 new Clone Wars episodes are signed for and will debut in the Spring of 2005, just prior to the release of Episode III. We would speculate that the animators will get to see the final movie at a screening shortly and develop the plot closely tied to the new movie. We're also hearing that a Clone Wars DVD release is a pending announcement, though we're not sure if both "seasons" will be included or first only. More soon!

May the Force be with you.

Asian Film Festival

As members of the Denver Film Society, we receive regular invites to attend screenings of various independent films. Tonight, we attended a preview screening of South of the Clouds, one of the films being shown at the local Asian Film Festival.

SOUTH OF THE CLOUDS (China, 2004, 100 min.) – Saturday, June 5, 4:15pm.
It’s been a life-long dream for middle-aged Xu Da Qin to return to Yunnan, a province near Tibet, where he had worked when he was a young man. An affair with a girl, which led to children and marriage, kept him living in the north for most of his life where he settled into a daily routine of work and drudgery. Now retired, the children grown and his wife dead, Xu heads south imagining what life might have been like if he had stayed in Yunnan. Once there he unwittingly ends up in a complicated affair with a prostitute, having misunderstood her advances for money as a sign for help, and ends up being taken into police custody. Powerful and impressive, Zhu Wen’s South of the Clouds won the critics prize at the recently concluded Hong Kong International Film Festival.

One of the things I enjoy about independent and foreign films is the emphasis on characterization. Much of the typical Hollywood fare emphasizes action, plot twists, and spectacle at the expense of developing characters. As a result, characters in Hollywood films are usually overly archetypal and emotionally underdeveloped. Independent and foreign films are the exact opposite. There's frequently very little action, few plot twists, and almost no spectacle. Characters engage in real, substantive dialogue with one another and act/react in ways that suggest emotional complexity. The result is film-making that makes audience members think.

At the end of an independent film, I almost always hear some of the following comments.

"Why did she choose to do X and point Y?"
"What kind of ending was that?"
"I thought it was kind of slow."

When I hear such comments I know a film is challenging the Hollywood model. The plot isn't being spoon fed to the audience, the ending doesn't follow a typical big screen narrative sequence, and the overall feel of the film is more cerebral than visceral.

South of the Clouds was exactly that kind of movie. How would I react if I found myself in a similar situation? Why did Xu Da Qin long for the Yunnan province? Why did he smile in the closing frame? What the heck was his dream all about? Great stuff.

Over the course of the weekend, we'll also see the following.

GOODBYE DRAGON INN (Taiwan, 2003, 82 min.) – Friday, June 4, 7:00pm.
It’s the final night of a run-down Taipei movie theatre. Once a majestic beacon for film-lovers, the theatre now serves as a refuge for society’s outsiders. As King Hu’s martial arts classic Dragon Inn plays for the last time on the screen, patrons and employees shuffle through the theatre searching for something…anything to fulfill their desires. “Rarely has the experience of movie going itself been so beautifully rendered. Tsai Ming- Liang has fashioned what may be his most brilliant metaphor yet, a lament for the death of feelings framed as a valediction to an entire era of Chinese cinema and an obituary to film-going in general. Needless to say, it’s cruelly, astringently funny.” –Tony Rayns. Goodbye Dragon Inn was Taiwan’s submission for Best Foreign Language Oscar in 2003.

TRAVELLERS AND MAGICIANS (Bhutan, 2003, 108 min.) – Saturday, June 5, 6:30 p.m.
In the Buddhist kingdom of Bhutan, nestled deep in the Himalayas, two men seek to escape their mundane lives. Dondup, an educated university graduate decides that he would be better off picking grapes in the United States than working as a government official in a remote rural village. Tashi, a restless farm youth studying magic, cannot bear the thought of spending the rest of his life stuck in his small village. The two men embark on parallel, if separate journeys—both seeking a different, and they hope better, life. Forced to hitchhike through the countryside of Bhutan, Dondup eventually shares the road with a monk, an apple seller, a papermaker and his beautiful daughter. Throughout the journey the monk relates the story off Tashi to the group, and eventually Dondup has to wonder if the grass is truly greener on the other side. Travellers & Magicians is the first feature film to be made entirely in the Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan.

Responsible For Our Own Cure

I love this passage.

We are not compelled to meditate by some outside agent, by other people, or by God. Rather, just as we are responsible for our own suffering, so are we solely responsible for our own cure. We have created the situation in which we find ourselves, and it is up to us to create the circumstances for our release.

-Lama Thubten Yeshe, "Wisdom Energy"

Everything that happens in my life is a result of my choices. Do people do hurtful things to me from time to time? Of course. That said, I'm the one that's letting the circumstance or action hurt me. Virtually every problem in my life is of my own making. While I think that's probably true for most people, many are unwilling to accept this basic premise of life. Instead, they stumble aimlessly through their day-to-day existence, blaming others for their hardships. The above passage requires the ultimate in personal accountablility--I am responsible for everything that happens to me.

4018 Days and Counting

Eleven years ago today (June 2, 1993), I started down the path of recovery. If you want some of the gory details, you can check out the June 2, 2003 entry from last year. Rather than reflecting on the pre-recovery me, I thought I'd focus on where I'm at today. During my first couple weeks of sobriety, I heard someone say, "What you need is an attitude of gratitude." Ugh. I hated hearing that when all I wanted was to get falling down drunk. As time has passed, however, I've learned that there's much for which to be grateful. Today, 4018 days sober, I have an attitude of gratitude.

11 Things for Which I'm Grateful

1. A partner who accepts and loves me for who I am, quirks, idiosyncracies, and all.
2. My sister & parents.
3. Cindy. A friend who helped me get my head screwed on straight a couple years back.
4. Alcoholics Anonymous. 12 simple steps saved my life.
5. A profession that I truly love. There are times when I feel guilty for collecting a paycheck.
6. Joe. Despite all the ups and downs of the last three years, we keep trudging along and helping each other out.
7. Gene. We haven't been great at keeping in touch lately, but I'm forever in his debt for all the late night conversations. Without his advice, geek talk, and musical recommendations, I'm not sure I'd be in the place I am today. He's the one person who really understood where I was at three years ago.
8. Michael. A true and faithful friend who has seen me at my worst and my best. Through it all, he remains a constant. 24 years and counting, Mikey!
9. Keli & Mary. Who says you can't develop intimate friendships via the club scene. Rubbish! Thanks for all the advice, support, and laughs. You should both be ashamed for "sneaking" cigarettes when I'm not watching. I'm one year smober (smoke free) today. Maybe I should celebrate with a smoke . . .
10. Bishop. You truly live up to the title of this man's best friend. I never thought a dog would become such an integral part of my life. I'm glad you picked me all those years ago.
11. My mohawk. In celebration of summer break, I decided to cut my hair. If you thought people gave me funny looks for the Heat Miser look, you should see the looks now. Picture available on request.

Play Me Some Cockamamie

Yesterday, I was struck with a strong urge to revisit one of the artists who introduced me to indie rock. Back in 1995, I discovered Jennifer Trynin. Her eclectic style sent me scurrying about the internet, searching for "unknown" artists. Nine years later, I'm still digging female-fronted indie rock, punk, power-pop, death disco, and nu new wave.

Imagine my suprise when I noticed a piece regarding Ms. Trynin as I went through my usual morning coffee/news/blog routine. Too bad she's not fronting Loveless. Without her singing lead, the album holds little interest for me.

Delusional

I'm sure most people have heard of or read about Morgan Spurlock's Super Size Me. Although I haven't seen the film, the documentary follows a man's attempts to eat nothing but McDonalds for an entire month. The other interesting twist is that he always says "yes" when asked if he'd like to "Super Size" his meal. Just about anyone can predict the outcome.

What surprises me more than the outcome of the documentary is the distorted self-image of many U.S. Americans. Most people, even when overweight, don't see themselves as such. In fact, 6 of 10 overweight folk believe they're at a healthy weight. Take this blogger, for example.
He talks as if 5' 9" and 170-175 pounds is a reasonable weight (his post inspired this rant, by the way). Are you kidding me?! Sorry David, but that's well outside the range of healthy. Unless you're some kind of ripped body builder, you probably need to shed at least 10 pounds.

And this, I think, is the more important idea to take away from Super Size Me. As U.S. Americans, we have a horribley distorted view of what it means to be fit and healthy. Most people don't eat fast food for every meal. They do, however, overeat at almost every meal. Even if we're not at McDonalds, we treat ourselves to super sized portions. Additionally, most American's don't get nearly enough exercise. The National Academies' Institute of Medicine recommends one hour of cummulative exercise EACH DAY. Those of us who manage to meet the one hour exercise minimum and eat reasonably rarely have to concern ourselves with weight issues.

For the last seven years, I've been a vegetarian. Naturally, my fat and calorie intake is pretty low. I also exercise for about an hour each day, 40 minutes of which is running or swimming. For the last seven years, my weight hasn't fluctuated more than 5 lbs. At 5' 9", my weight has stayed within the 137-142 lb range. For most of that period my weight has stayed between 138-140. Granted, I'm at the low end of the Body Mass Index.

If people had a more realistic notion regarding eating right and exercise, we wouldn't need films like Super Size Me to tell us we're a bunch of lazy gluttons.

For a really good laugh, read the comments on the linked blog. Check out all the people trying to dismiss the negative effects of smoking and passive smoke. As a smoker who presently isn't smoking (I can't begin to explain how much I freaking miss cigarettes), I'll be the first to admit smoking is the root of many health evils. If you're going to smoke, drop the denial gig and admit you're risking serious health issues (and exposing others to those risks, too). Even when I was smoking, I was crystal clear about what I was doing to myself. It's a choice, and a choice that will probably lead to negative health consequences.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

End of An Era . . . And Quality Television

Kathleen and I watched an episode from the 3rd season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer last night. Since last summer, we've been slowly making our way through each of the seasons--we're about halfway through the Season Three DVD collection. As the episode ended, Kathleen remarked, "It's kind of depressing to realize that there won't be any new episodes of Angel or Buffy next year." I agreed.

I've ranted about this repeatedly, but I'm going to say it again. As the following link emphasizes, through a farewell to Angel oddly enough, quality television is on the verge of extinction. The corporate money mongers of the media giants don't care about quality, only profit. Quality, thought-provoking television with small, but dedicated, fan-bases simply doesn't bring in enough cash. For whatever reason, the majority of the U.S. public isn't interested in sophisticated television. Instead, viewers are content to consume the crap that is reality television. Aaarrrggghhh! The very thought of another season of Bachelor, Bachelorette, Average Joe, or American Idol drives me nuts!

Anyway, here's a great piece about the end of Angel . . . and quality television.

Reality television is taking over, make no mistake, and it’s primarily because it’s so inexpensive. Point a camera at some exhibitionistic moron and let it run. No need for writers or story editors or effects people or even actors. And because people just keep watching and watching this stuff, the ad revenue keeps pouring in, and with a smaller production cost than even your most low-rent scripted show, the profit margin is immense. It makes sense. It sucks, but it makes sense.

The casualty is quality television, of course. Television that challenges and moves while it entertains, television that utilizes the medium’s inherent serial nature to really connect an audience with characters’ lives, television that goes beyond what television normally tries. Just look at Joss Whedon’s recent history: Buffy ended at seven seasons through a mutual agreement between Whedon and star Sarah Michelle Gellar, but his fledgling (and fantastic) Firefly was unceremoniously dumped after half a season, and Angel was hacked off at the knees during one of its most successful runs.

Summer Readings List

In addition to disserting, I'm trying to catch up on some reading. Here's the list of books I'd like to read this summer.

Citizens of the Empire: The Struggle to Claim Our Humanity
Samuel Adams: America's Revolutionary Politician*
In the Fascist Bathroom: Punk in Pop Music, 1977-1992
Siouxsie and the Banshees: The Authorized Biography
The Fortress of Solitude: A Novel
Soul of the Fire
Faith of the Fallen

*I wrote my MA thesis on Samuel Adams. He's always been my rabblerouser of choice.

They Did It Too!

Do the recent articles about coalition partners also engaging in prisoner abuse smack of something a kid would say? I'm sure at one time or another, my mother or father busted me for doing something I shouldn't have been doing. I suspect there was a time when I pointed at my younger sister and whined, "But she did it, too" just take some of the heat off myself. It's a tried and true rhetorical tactic that those of us with siblings learn at a very early age. Of course, when you're the older sibling you're familiar with the parental resonse: "As her older brother, we expect you to set a good example."

As a citizen of the United States of the Empire, I'll step up and say it. We're supposed to be the leaders of the free world, the champions of democracy, and the protectors of all that is good! I expect you, the leaders of this country and the members of the military, to set a good example. Don't give me any of that lip about Poland and other coalition countries. I'm very disappointed in your behavior. You should know better. Now go to your room!

If it was only that simple.

Guest Starring Al Gore as The Voice of Reason

You know something is wrong with the political system when Al Gore, the former Vice President and loser of the 2000 election campaign, is one of the few making any sense.

"George W. Bush promised us a foreign policy with humility. Instead, he has brought us humiliation in the eyes of the world."

If Gore had campaigned with this kind of fire, he'd be President right now.

The Realities of War

Practically ignored in the Abu Ghraib torture scandal are the Iraqi female prisoners who have told their attorneys they were raped by U.S. soldiers. The Taguba report confirms that some women were indeed raped by American G.I.'s. There is one photo of an American soldier having sex with an Iraqi woman. And there is the by now infamous story of how American soldiers harnessed a 70-year-old woman and rode her around, calling her a donkey.

One hint of the rape aspect of the torture scandal came last December, when a note smuggled out of Abu Ghraib by a female prisoner claimed that American guards were raping the female detainees. There are few women in the prison; the note said some of the women were now pregnant. According to a report last week in The Guardian (U.K.), the note urged the Iraqi resistance to bomb the jail to spare the women further shame. Amal Kadham Swadi, one of seven Iraqi female attorneys who are attempting to represent detained women, visited a detainee at a U.S. military base in Baghdad last November and later told The Guardian, "She was the only woman who would talk about her case. She was crying. She told us she had been raped. Several American soldiers had raped her. She had tried to fight them off, and they had hurt her arm. She showed us the stitches. She told us, 'We have daughters and husbands. For God's sake don't tell anyone about this.' "

Although the Taguba report makes specific reference to the abuse of female Iraqi prisoners, the Bush administration has refused to release photos of Iraqi women forced at gunpoint to bare their breasts—no doubt to spare Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld further embarrassment.

The Way the Music Died

If you're interested in the present state of music and the music industry, tune in to Frontline on Thursday night. The program will focus on how "MTV, compact discs, corporate consolidation, Internet piracy, and greed have contributed to a perfect storm for the recording industry. FRONTLINE examines how the business that has provided the soundtrack of the lives of a generation is on the verge of collapse."

Changes

I'm giving the blog a bit of an overhaul. Nothing too drastic, obviously, but I was getting tired of that split pea green & orange look. I've also started to use Bloggers built-in "comments" system. I'm hoping the new "comments" will be a bit more stable than the old.

Cringe Worthy

I can't stop looking at the following links. It's like a horrible car wreck, but funny.

The Justice League of My Little Ponies
The Justice League of My Little Ponies: Dialogue!

Which Magickal Order are You In?


You are an Elementalist. Your magic stems from the
forces of nature. You might be a forest
nuturing Druid, a storm-creating Weather-Wizard
or any of the many Elementals, but one thing is
sure-- your bond with nature is strong. You can
rely heavily on nature to support yourself
aesthetically or physically for it lends you
both comfort and strength. Your instincts
rarely fail you. You are vibrantly passionate
but are sometimes carried away by your own
emotions.


Which Magical Order Are You In?
brought to you by Quizilla

More Nonsense Names

Last night on VH1's Best Week Ever, several actors, musicians, and comics commented on the name of Gwyneth Paltrow's new baby (Apple). The topic lead to a general discussion of the wacky names stars give their children. For instance, Jason Lee apparently named his child Pilot Inspektor. What? Who could forget Dweezil and Moon Unit Zappa? One of the comedians on the show suggested a great name: Steelwool Wombat! In honor of wacky child names, or the horror of wacky child names, I've decided to offer a list using objects found in my home office.

Bamboo Hematite
Rune Kneebrace
Converse Incense
CD Staple
Button Lipbalm
Kleenex Paperweight
Stickynote Ticketstub
Amethyst Smudgestick
Gargoyle Tealight
Socks Hoseclamp
Boxfan Candlestick
Lampshade PowerPuff
Slate Coffeemug
Thesaurus Lunchbox
Altoid Envelope
Snowglobe Bookend
Scissors Litterbox

Picking a reasonable name is the first step in good parenting. These stars are setting their kids up for a boatload of teasing. Sheesh.

PSAs


The Deadly Cicada
New Strain of Ebola
The Dangers of Mountain Biking
Hazardous Material: Stinky Socks
Lack of Sleep Leads to Tiredness

The Dukes

I cannot believe this DVD collection would be on anyone's "must have" list.

Get Crackin'!

According to Democratic Presidential hopeful John Kerry, "I'll lure those who support Nader. Really? Well, he'd better get crackin'. To this point, I haven't seen anything that makes me want to vote for Bush-lite. To lure me away from the Nader camp I'll need to see the following:

1. a firm commitment to peaceful conflict resolution.
2. a concerted effort to address the current corporate welfare state.
3. support for a universal healthcare plan.
4. support for the equal rights of gays and lesbians (including marriage, NOT a civil union)
5. opposition to The Patriot Act.
6. support for the Equal Rights Amendment (legislation that guarantees equality in pay, job opportunities, insurance, social security, and education for women). Can you believe we STILL haven't added this amendment to the Constitution. How ridiculous is that?

There's a good list of starting points, Mr. Kerry. You've got a long way to go and a short time to get there. Once you've shown me your ardent support for these positions, I'll post the next half dozen.

STFU

There's a particular individual who insists on exposing me to pro-war propaganda by way of email and direct conversation. I receive letters sent home from soldiers in Iraq (most of which are written by the U.S. military and signed by soldiers--I've ranted about this before), jokes about the way U.S. personnel treat POWs, and reminders that the U.S. MUST bring democracy to the barbarians of the Middle East. In addition to the war talk, I also keep hearing about how "there are too many queers on television" and that the prospect of same sex marriage is ridiculous. Despite my repeated requests to stop, I've tried email and direct conversation, he just keeps on spouting the Republican Party line. He laps up the gruel he's fed by conservative pundits and regurgitates it to everyone within spewing distance. No unique thought, no analysis, and no critical engagement. If you're a regular reader of my blog, you know how well that message is received. The worst part of the entire situation is that he thinks my anger over these issues is funny. When I reach my limit, lose it, and rant about 10,000 civilian casualties in Iraq, he laughs and tells me I take the world too seriously. How can anyone laugh about all those people? I just don't get it.

I'm tempted to unleash my full, more-liberal-than-Ralph-Nader, fury but know anything I say will fall on deaf ears. If it doesn't come from Fox News, it's not legit. Unfortunately, I'm not really in a position to cut off all contact with him. Still, I can limit my interactions to once every several months. If I do some planning and benevolent lying, I could conceivably limit contact to a couple times a year.

I'm all about a good debate, but this has gone way beyond that point. I'll make one more attempt to get him to stop with the nonsense. If that doesn't work, I'll initiate Project Isolate and Ignore .

I'm Free

Final papers have been returned, final exams have been graded, final grade bubble sheets have been bubbled and submitted to the appropriate departmental personnel. In other words, I'm done.

I'm free
I'm free
And freedom tastes of reality

I'm free
I'm free
And I'm waiting for you to follow me

Sanity

More sane talk from a handful of reasonable people:

How to Get Out of Iraq

A Letter From Ralph Nader

This is why Nader will probably be getting my vote in November:

Dear Mr. President

Why isn't anyone else willing to ask these kinds of questions? You go, Ralph.

WTF Department: Apple Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow has named her new daughter, Apple. Seeing that Gwyneth has broken the fruit barrier, I thought it might be fun to throw out some other great names for children. If you could name a child after any fruit, what fruit would you pick? I think I'd go with honeydew melon.

Offer your fruit/name of choice in the comments.

Valid?

::student walks up to my desk at the front of the room during exam period and points to question 15::

Student: Is asking the author of an article a valid test question?
Me: Was the article and author listed on the study guide?
Student: Um, yeah.
Me: Was the article an assigned reading for the class?
Student: Uh, I don't know.
Me: It was on the syllabus and we discussed it in class. The question is valid. Good luck.

And Now for Something that Makes Sense

A call to create a Department of Peace.

What an excellent idea! Let's put together a branch of our government that actually searches for non-violent solutions to problems. Imagine a group of people who honestly try to understand an issue from several different perspectives, then try to solve the problem with all those perspectives in mind. It's brilliant! Which is exactly why it will never happen.

Insanity

Do people really believe Rush Limbaugh is some kind of genuine political commentator or analyst? Personally, I can't stand to listen to the guy for more than 10 minutes. His use of fallacious reasoning boggles the mind. The sad thing is that millions of uninformed people soak up Limbaugh's ridiculous statements and then spout those same lame argument to family, friends, and co-workders. Unfortunately, I happened to catch some of Rush's comments on the Iraqi prisoner abuse schandal. I nearly broke my hand banging my fist against the steering wheel. Here's an example of what Limbaugh had to say about the recent abuse of Iraqi prisoners:

LIMBAUGH: Exactly. Exactly my point! This is no different than what happens at the Skull and Bones initiation and we're going to ruin people's lives over it and we're going to hamper our military effort, and then we are going to really hammer them because they had a good time. You know, these people are being fired at every day. I'm talking about people having a good time, these people, you ever heard of emotional release? You of heard of need to blow some steam off?

Are you fucking kidding me? A fraternity intitiation? He's comparing the abuse of prisoners to a fraternity initiation? Arrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!

You Cannot Escape Your Destiny

Or can you? A poster to a spiritual message board I frequent posed an interesting question. He asked, and I'm paraphrasing, "How do you feel about destiny? What about free will and choice?" I responded with the following.

For me, destiny is the result of choice. The choices I make influence my fate(s). Over the course of several years, several spiritual principles have become part of who I am: love, tolerance, compassion, non-violence, and the like. I made a conscious choice to both learn about those principles and make them a part of my everday life. As a result, I often find myself helping those in need, speaking about the importance of tolerance, and the like. The actual acts of helping or speaking are, of course, choices. If I'm to remain faithful to the principles of my path, however, I have to choose to act.

If I'm walking through a grocery store and see a parent hitting a child, can I just sit back and watch? I could, but that would go against the principles to which I adhere. As such, I'd approach the parent and say, very gently, "Hands are for hugging, not for hitting." Was it destiny or fate that brought me to that particular situation? Probably not. Based on my choices, however, I was fated or destined to act.

Close Encounters

A UFO encounter covered by major news outlets?

BBC Coverage
CBS News
MSNBC
USA Today

There are those who believe that the US Government has known about the existence of extraterrestrial life since the 1940s. Why the secrecy? One of the claims is that the people of the world couldn't handle the full extent of the truth. In other words, if we understood just how prevalent intelligent life is in the universe, we'd have a huge Terran freakout. Some speculate that information will be leaked slowly to the public so that we can handle the change in our collective perspective.

What do I believe in regard to UFOs? Well, I can't imagine we're the only intelligent life in the entire universe. Consider that every star out there probably has some kind of planetary system, the odds are kind of odd that we'd be the only oasis capable of supporting life. Yes, I believe we probably aren't alone. That said, I'm pretty skeptical regarding the issue of visitation. If extraterrestrials are visiting Earth and people in the government are in the know, it would take a HUGE conspiracy to keep everyone quiet. Someone would eventually talk and they'd do so VERY publicly (as opposed to revealing the info on a SciFi channel "Investigative Report"). While I'd love to find out that benevolent aliens are all around us, I suspect that isn't the case.

Anyone want to visit the Roswell, NM UFO Festival with me?

Hell Week

I finished grading 165 final papers just in time to start grading 165 final exams. I'm not sure if Finals Week is more difficult on the students or instructors. All the time I've spent sitting at my desk grading papers is becoming hazardous to my health, just ask my aching back. On top of school, I spent several hours tonight writing Mary and Charles' wedding ceremony. I think the rehearsal dinner is a week from Friday and the wedding proper is a week from Saturday or Sunday. This is my first crack at writing a secular ceremony from scratch and I think I did a damn fine job. Ultimately, Mary and Charles will be the judges of my ceremonial proficiency. Once the wedding is complete, I'll check and see if they mind if I post a copy for popular consumption.

I'm off to bed. I need to get up early tomorrow and hit the lap pool before giving another final. If I don't do something to stretch out my back (swimming usually does the trick), I'll be hobbled by the end of the week. I believe a massage may be on the horizon.

Archaeology Update

Just trying to keep up with the Joneses.

Oldest Book
Trail of the Grail
Majestic Maya
In Search of Noah's Ark!

Contest of Champions

Gene brought an interesting message board thread to my attention. The basic debate, which goes on for 13 pages, centers around who would win a battle between Batman and Superman. While I tend to lean toward Supes, there are circumstances under which Batman would emerge victorious. Clearly, Superman has Batman outclassed in virtually every important category. He's stronger, faster, more durable, and possesses virtually inexhaustable endurance. Batman, on the other hand, is smarter, more ruthless, and has tons of cool toys at his disposal. Batman definitely has the edge in the "cheat to win" category--Supes isn't called a "Boy Scout" for nothing. If Superman has no idea Batman is coming (an ambush), Bats wins. Any kind of sneak attack involving kryptonite and Batman finishes Superman in less than a round.* If Superman knows Batman is coming at him, he devises a plan to separate Batman from his kryptonite and then pummels Bats into submission with a finger flick. If Superman knows something is up, how could anyone get with miles of him? Super hearing and telescopic vision make it difficult to sneak up on someone.

There you have it. In a straight up confrontation, Superman wins easily. If he has an opportunity to devise an ambush, Batman takes home the Goblet of Fire. If I analyze the heroes according to their respective bases, Superman wins again. The Fortress of Solitude is WAY cooler than the Batcave. I bet Alfred gets tired of cleaning up all the guano.

*Novices to the DC mythos should be aware that Superman is also susceptible to magic. In recent years the kryptonite/magic vulnerabilities have become less important. Superman's power levels have been scaled back from the Can-Survive-Nuclear-Blast levels of the Golden & Silver Ages of comics to something much more reasonable. For example, Thor recently went toe-to-toe with Superman in the JLA/Avengers crossover.

A Minion of Satan!

According to the following article, I'm doing the Devil's work!

The pentagram is worn too casually as an adornment to believe otherwise. The casual prevalence of body-piercing in both males and females, rendering the flesh susceptible to infection for the sake of vanity, is one of the most sinister cultural developments of recent times. I don’t know about bookshops in the States but walk into any Brit one and you see the prevailing cultural appetite in the rows and rows of books on true crime and serial killers. As Alan Bloom recorded in The Closing of the American Mind, the most critical cultural influence on the young is music, and from the Sixties onwards, when the now Sir Mick Jagger proclaimed his sympathy for the devil (‘I killed the Tsar and his Ministers’, ‘I rode a tank and wore a general’s rank when the blitzkrieg came’), the message of Christian rejection is the one that’s blasting through the headphones. The mistake was not taking Sir Mick at his word.

I regularly display two pentagrams, nine piercings, and four tattoos (each of which indicates my interest in spiritual paths other than Christianity). I'm sure the music to which I listen isn't going to score any points, either. If I try REAL hard, I can smell the fire and brimstone that await me in Hell. Wait, that's someone smoking outside.

I'm off to grade papers. In the name of Satan! ::gives the heavy metal hand gesture::

Popculturetopia

I can barely stand to read or watch the news anymore. In fact, I've become so angry with the world that I've stopped doing the news thing for a while. Instead, I'm focusing my attention on school (only 125 papers and 170 final exams to go), my own writing, and pop culturish stuff. With that in mind . . .

Blondie is Back
Holy Piccaso!
Mean Girls*
Star Wars Live Action TV in 2006! w00t!
Friends: The Death of the Sitcom?**

*Surprisingly good . . . in a Clueless kind of way.
**Although I haven't been a regular follower of Friends, I'll be tuning in tomorrow night. ::shrugs:: I teach Popular Culture. What's your excuse?

Mmmmm, Crunchberries

Derek: Did you check out the new Superman statue on my desk?
Matt: No, I didn't see it.
Derek: I got it when I purchased a twin pack of Cocoa Pebbles and Fruity Pebbles.
Matt: Ugh! You at that stuff?
Derek: I usually eat organic granola. I treat myself once a week.
Matt: I have a new favorite granola. Have you tried the Hemp granola at Wild Oats?
Derek: No, but I'll have to give it a try. I usually eat the low fat apple cinnamon granola. My favorite is the ginger granola.
Matt: I love that stuff. I could eat two pounds a week.
Derek: Me too. Kathleen eats sugary cereal almost every day. She loves Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries.
Matt: Screw the Cap'n Crunch, just give me the Crunchberries. I always buy a box of the Christmas Crunch.
Derek. Me too.

There Be Dragons Here

A GOLD Dragon Lies Beneath!

My inner dragon is the most honorable of all. I enjoy shape-shifting, humans, and the occasional crusade to save the world. I'm what you might call a Draconic Knight. Click the image to try the Inner Dragon Online Quiz for yourself.



The entire description of the Gold Dragon reads as follows:

Your Inner Dragon is the most honorable of all. Golds are the third rarest of all the dragons (after Platinum and Chromatic dragons) and have a station in society that reflects their rarity. You are what one might call a Draconic Knight. Golds live by a strict code of chivalry and commitment. Remember Draco? Yep, Gold Dragon. Your appearance is fearsome and all-mighty but you'd never stoop so low as to bring any harm to a human. As a matter of fact, that's strictly contrary to your code of conduct. You're one of only two dragon types that is aligned "Lawful Good" and is proficient in the use of magic and spells. If you're curious, the other is Platinum, the King of the Dragons. Your piety, beauty, wisdom, and inner strength are absolutely without parallel.

But of course, being a Gold Dragon isn't all high ethics and codes. You like to fly around scaring things, advise humans in their affairs, and shapeshift. Strike that, you LOVE to shapeshift. And you're great at it. In fact, if you're a Gold on the inside, you might be a Gold on the outside, too - just in human form. Your favorable attributes are honor, chivalry, truth, kindness, gold, mining, protection, wisdom, bravery, and trustworthiness. You might be a bit too trusting of humans at times, but they're just kids compared to you. If anyone threatens your humans or tries to kill you, you could strike back with your breath weapon - Fire. But then, no one's tried anything that stupid in the last couple thousand years. After all, you're about 54 feet long.

I'm an ethical dragon who helps people? Go figure.

The Human Spirit

Spirituality I take to be concerned with those qualities of the human spirit—such as love and compassion, patience, a sense of responsibility, a sense of harmony, which bring happiness to both self and others.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

On the Cessation of Suffering: The Noble Eightfold Path

Right View
Right Intention
Right Speech
Right Action
Right Livelihood
Right Effort
Right Mindfulness
Right Concentration

Time for some work.

Play-by-Play

Marc Spears offers a thorough account of the Nuggets/Timberwolves conflict.

The Timberwolves should know better. They're the better team yet they're letting Denver distract them. I love it.

Trash Talkin'

In his April 28, 2004 post, Gene offers some annoying basketball talk and extolls the virtues of Jon Barry. I couldn't agree more. Responding to one of my comments, he added:

To be honest, I think the Nuggets (and the Timberwolves, to some extent) are expending energy in the wrong way. The elite teams are sort of beyond displays of attitude; they operate with a certain level of cold arrogance.

He was referring, of course, to the war of words being waged by the Nuggets & Timberwolves. Barry tells Spree to shut the fuck up. Spree tells everyone that the series won't be coming back to Denver. Carmello and Camby tell Denver fans that they'll be playing in the Pepsi Center on Sunday (suggest a road win tonight). KG gives Fernando Escalade a shot below the belt (a nut shot for those keeping score), Fernando calls KG a low-class player (and apparently confronted KG after Tuesday night's game). Yesterday, the league contacted both the Nuggets and the Timberwolves and asked everyone to shut up. Marcus Camby had the final word: "I plan to be back here Sunday. For a game, not to clean out my locker.

All that I aside, I disagree with Gene about all the jabbering. If the Timberwolves are the elite team they claim to be, they shouldn't be affected by any of the distractions. The Nuggets on the other hand, an 8th seed and clearly not an elite team, have nothing to lose by talking a ton of smack. If they rattle the Timberwolves a bit, that plays to Denver's advantage. If they don't rattle them, nothing lost. Remember, the Nuggets weren't even supposed to be in the playoffs. As a fan, I'm thrilled to see my lowly Nuggets finally stepping up and getting a little nasty. Talk it up, boys!

My prediction for tonight's game: Minnesota 95 Denver 82. Sorry Nuggets, but I think this is probably the end. I'll be elated if you suprise me and take one on the road. Nuggets4Life!

Be Yourself

The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.

- Lao-Tzu

Sprewell's Like a School in Summer: No Class

At the end of the Nuggets/Timberwolves game (the Nuggets deserved the loss--they played horribly all night), the classless Letrell Sprewell walks slowly across the court and taunts Nuggets' fans with screams of "Fuck Y'all. Fuck y'all. Fuck y'all." Congrats, Sprewell. You just moved up to slot #2 on my Top Ten Most Hated Professional Athlete list.

Frederico Epson owns you! Part II

I don't know why this cracks me up so much, but it does. More on the Garnett/Eason front:

13. More on the Kenny G-Fransheena Easton front . . .
14. Nene and Franken Steilson turned the Nuggs paint into a KG Free Zone...
15. Yeah, hope Nene, Birdman and Frankestein Kelson give KG enough trouble (it´s a 12-foul vault)...

Heheheheh.

Fernando Escalade owns you!

During the postgame interview for Game 3 (Nuggets/Timberwolves), Kevin Garnett commented on the Nuggets' team effort. At one point he said, "Eason, or whatever his name is, played pretty good." Garnett was actually referring to Francisco Elson, a backup PF/C for the Nuggets. Today, someone posted a thread about KG's comment on a message board I frequent. Here's the result:

1. you mean Francesca Eason? Yeah, he's got game.
2. f**k you garnett, frankie elson owns you!
3. hell yeah, you best respect Frescoist Easel.
4. Freddie Eaton rocks!
5. I would love to see Elson use a big foul, put KG on the floor and shout, "what's my name bitch?"
6. I wish that Chico Nelson has got mad and will use all this madness to play the best game of his life on tuesday.
7. May Franz Hellston, unleash his demons over Devin Barnet and hell will break loose...
8. Somebody should go to the next game with a sign that says "Go Eason! Er, ELSON!"
9. Fernando Escalon will drop the hammer on KG.
10. Elson should call KG "Kenny Barnet" all next game.
11. I think we'll see similar minutes for Ferrari Escalade, and hopefully similar results as game 3.
12. Frederico Epson will see that kind of minutes only if Nene and/or Camby get in foul trouble...

As one poster astutely observed, KG was probably trying to get into Elson's head. Still, the comment made for great message board fodder.

Fuck you, Kalvin Burnett. Fernando Escalade owns you! With all we've been through, this is a great time to be a Nuggets' fan.

Elson4Life!

Sports Shorts

1. The Chicago Cubs have won six in a row. Holy Cow!
2. The Denver Nuggets shellacked the Timberwolves on Saturday night. The Wolves are still trying figure out what went wrong. This is exactly what the Nuggets needed. The Timberwolves, who have never made it out of the 1st round, now have a tiny bit of doubt gnawing at them. The Nuggets, on the other hand, have absolutely nothing to loose. They weren't even supposed to come close to the playoffs.
3. Game Four playoff prediction: Nuggets 101 Timberwolves 96. Nuggets4Life!
4. The Colorado Avalanche? Who are they? The Nuggets are in the playoffs!
5. I still hate the Lakers.

Doug Moe Mojo

In about six hours, I'll be sitting high in the playoff madhouse known as the Pepsi Center. The Nuggets, down 0-2 to the Timberwolves, will finally step up and get their collective heads back in this series. The team will call on that Doug Moe mojo of the 80s and return to the running game that resulted in 43 regular season wins. Fearless prediction:

Nuggets 104
Wolves 97

As a diehard fan, I'm doing what I can to move the team toward victory. I'm wearing my Denver Nuggets watch (mine is way cooler than this model. As I've had mine for a decade or so, it's difficult to find an image) and I just finished eating most of a Melo candy bar. I saved a couple pieces for Kathleen--the more people filled with Nuggety goodness, the better.

If you happen to watch the game and listen closely, you might be able to hear me. I'll be the one disparaging Sam Cassell by comparing him to the alien from Enemy Mine. He is not a pretty man.

If you have any good taunts for KG, Wally, Kandiman or anyone else on the team, send them my way. I'll try to work them into my heckling routine.

Nuggets4Life!

Giving Names

We desire to understand the world by giving names to the things we see,
but these things are only the effects of something subtle.

When we see beyond the desire to use names,
we can sense the nameless cause of these effects.

--Lao Tzu

Ode to the Spell Check
Anonymous

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It cam with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew!

Well Said

Roger Ebert as the voice of reason? I thought he reviewed movies or something?

Stern vs Limbaugh. What's the diff?

Frankly, I can't stand either of the jokers.

Bob's Law: Some People Suck

I try to believe that people are basically good, that most people I encounter are good at heart and genuinely care about the people with whom they interact. In fact, I think 90 percent of people are probably nice folk. The other 10 percent, to quote an old acquaintance, "are assholes." And that's the basic idea behind Bob's Law: 90 percent of people are good and kind, the rest are assholes.

Lately, I've been struggling with the actions of those who fall in the 10 percent. Take yesterday, for instance. When Kathleen arrived home from school, she immediately burst into tears. The conversation went like this:

Derek: Are you okay?
Kathleen (tears rolling): I had a really bad day at work.
Derek: What happened?
Kathleen: I had to call Social Services.
Derek (dread fills heart): Oh, no.
Kathleen: One of my students kept saying that he didn't feel good. When I asked him what was wrong, he said, "My body hurts. My dad hits me too much."
Derek (holds Kathleen): I'm really sorry you had to go through that. I'm really sorry your student has to deal with that. Nobody deserves to be hit, especially a kid.
Kathleen: That's what I told him. I told him that it's not okay for his dad to hit him.

I'll never understand how a 300 pound man can justify pounding on a little kid. When I hear such stories, I struggle with my commitment to non-violence. Since Kathleen came home yesterday, I've daydreamed of confronting this dreg of humanity with an aluminum baseball bat. I don't want to kill him. I just want to hear him say, "My body hurts. That guy hits me too much."

Monday Manna . . . A Day Late

1. Playoff ticket for Denver Nuggets vs Minnesota Timberwolves, Game 3. Nuggets4Life!
2. Cinnamon swirl bagels.
3. AlterNet.org
4. Thich Nhat Hanh
5. Evening walks along the Highline Canal.
6. Calvin Schrag's The Self After Postmodernity
7. DVDs
8. Kaladi Brothers Coffee. Seriously, this independent coffee house & roaster has some of the best coffee beans to hit the planet. This is the place where I finally discovered the perfect cup of coffee. If you like coffee, try a pound of Puravida or Trieste (whole bean, of course). Make sure you keep your coffee beans frozen--freezing beans locks in moisture and flavor.
9. Diana Krall
10. Space.com. As someone fascinated with astronomy, this site provides the information I crave in language I understand.

Endless Jargon

"Not recognizing that there's no connection between term and meaning, those who wander in endless jargon get so exhausted."

-Adept Godrakpa, "Hermit of Go Cliffs"
Copyright Wisdom Publications 2001. Reprinted from "Daily Wisdom: 365 Buddhist Inspirations," edited by Josh Bartok

Fearless Prediction

Just so nobody can say I made my pick after the event, I'm predicting that the Nuggets will beat the Timberwolves in 7 games. Do the Nuggets really stand a chance? Who knows. If they win, I'm going to look like a genius.

Nuggets4Life!

Silly Girls, EMO's for Boys

I'm in the early stages of an academic piece on politically adversarial, female-fronted power-pop. At the heart of the piece, at least what I think will become the heart of the piece, is an examination of human agency, rock music, and political policy. Does rock music possess the ability to influence who we are and the decisions we make? While my piece focuses on the transformative potential of music, the potential to move our culture toward practices that are more egalitarian and just, what happens when rock and roll reinforces harmful beliefs, values, and attitudes? For one woman's opinion, read the following.

It is a genre made by and for adolescent and post adolescent boys, who make evident, in their lyrics and dominant aesthetic that their knowledge of actual living, breathing women is tiny enough to fit in a shoebox. Emo’s characteristic sensitive front is limited to self-sensitivity, it runs in a fanciful maze of reflexive self pity, rife with a vulnerability that is infinitely self-serving. It is a high stakes game of control—of “winning” or “losing” possession of the girl (see Dashboard Confessional, Brand New, New Found Glory and Glassjaw albums for prime examples) Yet, in the vulnerability there is no empathy, no peerage or parallelism. Emo’s yearning is not to identify with, or understand, but rather to enforce sexual hierarchy and omit women’s power via romanticide.

Rude Awakenings

MONDAY
Derek slumbers peacefully. Kathleen, who is getting ready to leave for work, races into the bedroom.

Kathleen (shouting): Derek! I need your help!
Derek (awakens immediately and shoots straight up in bed): What is it?!
Kathleen (frantic): The dogs are missing!
Derek: What the fuck do you mean the dogs are missing!
Kathleen (frantic): I took the poop to the dumpster and they were waiting on the sidewalk, like they always do. When I turned around, they were gone!
Derek (tosses sheets back and dives out of bed): Holy shit! We have to find them!
Kathleen (still frantic): I know! I know!
Derek (putting shirt on backwards, pulling on pants, oblivious to serious case of bedhead): Fuck.

Derek and Kathleen race downstairs and begin their frantic search. Within less than a minute, they find both dogs.

WEDNESDAY
7:30 AM. Kathleen is heading out the door and Derek is sleeping. The phone rings, disturbing Derek's sleep (he finally got to sleep at 3 AM*)

Derek (groans): Who the fuck is calling this early?!
(phone continues ringing--Kathleen can't reach the phone in time)

Derek (awake and angry). Jesus! Who calls at 7:30 in the morning?! (gets out of bed, storms to phone, and checks caller ID) I think it was your sister! Looks like her cell number. Grrrrrr. How many times do we have to ask her NOT to call before 9 AM. Just because she gets up at 6 AM, doesn't mean everyone else does. (checks message)

Laura (via voice mail): Kath, it's your sister. Give me a call tonight, okay? But don't call during American Idol. You know how I hate to have my television interrupted. Bye.

Derek (fuming): It WAS your sister. You're supposed to call her tonight. But not during American Idol. She doesn't want her TV disturbed. Are you fucking kidding me? She can't respect our 9 AM rule and we're not supposed to call during her fucking show?! When the fuck is that fucking show on? I'm fucking calling throughout the show. God damnit!

*I've been dealing with some wicked insomnia. Stress + back pain = little sleep.

Jedi Countdown

Only 400 days until Star Wars: Episode III is released in theaters. I'm still spoiler free.

WTF: LotP

Some people have WAY too much time on their hands.

Lord of the Peeps

In case I haven't made my position clear, peeps suck.

The Mighty Denver Nuggets

A couple weeks back I predicted the Denver Nuggets would fail to make the playoffs. This is one time I'm thrilled to be wrong.

THE NUGGETS ARE GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS!

Fuck, yeah!

Heroes

Here's an animated spoof of Clerks, the Kevin Smith film, that casts Marvel superheroes in the lead roles. The Silver Surfer and Galactus do Jay and Silent Bob? You gotta be kidding. Anyway, the animation took a while to load on my broadband connection. Non-broadbanders, beware.

Heroes

Monday Manna

Another list of the good things in my life.


1. The Powerpuff Girls.

2. The Denver Nuggets. If the Nuggets lose tonight, this could be a source of great disappointment. Regardless, this has been a fun year to be a Nuggets fan. I haven't been able to say that in almost a decade.

3. The Sonic Self: Musical Subjectivity and Signification, by Naomi Cumming. Read an excellent review here.

4. My Starbucks Barista Grinder has taken my coffee addiction to a new level.

5. Ella Enchanted. Kathleen and I saw this movie over the weekend. Very entertaining. Kathleen describes the film as a combination of The Princess Bride and A Knight's Tale. That description is right on the money. We loved Carey Elwes, Westley from The Princess Bride, as the villainous Prince Regent Edgar. If you catch the film, see if you think Prince Regent Edgar and his slithery advisor, Heston, were modelled after Prince John/Sir Hiss from Disney's Robin Hood. I think the live characters are an obvious homage to the animated classic. Prince Edgar/John even wear the same crown.

6. Dictionaries. We had a discussion about this at brunch yesterday.

7. Corel Wordperfect. Not everyone likes Microsoft Word.

8. Olive Oil and Aloe Soap.

9. Apple and cinnamon granola.

10. Everwood. One of the few, well-written programs on the WB.

Personal Jesus

Seven years ago, on an Easter Sunday not unlike today, I came to the realization I could no longer consider myself Christian. I was working as the Youth and Education Director for St. John's United Church of Christ when one of the young men in the youth group asked, "Derek, do you believe the resurrection really happened?" I paused, quickly considered the ramifications of what I was about to say, and told him the truth. I said, "I have a difficult time with all of the miracles in the Bible, the resurrection included. That doesn't mean the Bible doesn't have wonderful lessons regarding the way we should live our lives. I think it does. I believe the Bible is a collection of stories and parables written by people. I don't think it should taken literally." While I feared a total freakout by both the youth and their parents, nothing happened. Still, the moment was more than a little signficant for my personal spiritual journey. Christianity no longer provided the spiritual path I needed (and I know it still works for millions). Two months later, I was offered a full-time academic lectureship and resigned my position at St. John's.

Since that Easter, I've wandered an eclectic path consisting of Wicca, Buddhism, and Taoism. The writings of Starhawk, Buddha, Lao Tzu, the Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, and host of others provide an intricate, personal text of spiritual investigation. For the last several years, I've finally known spiritual peace.

While I won't be celebrating the Resurrection today, I did encounter a number of interesting articles that conjured up the memory of my last Easter.

Choose Your Own Jesus
Greatest Myth
President Jimmy Carter: A Compassionate Christian
The Eostar Bunny
Peeps

For the record, I think Peeps are the most heinous of Easter candy. Give me a Cadbury Creme Egg any day.

Foul Weather Friend?

The fighting in Iraq is the worst its been since the supposed end of the war, the National Security Advisor faces tough questions from the 9-11 commission, and where is the President? He's hanging out with his boys from the National Rifle Associate, Ducks Unlimited, and Pheasants Forever.

Unbelievable.

Absolute Freedom

If one is lonely neither in a crowd nor in the deep mountains, one is an able person who knows how to enjoy absolute freedom.

-Jae Woong Kim, "Polishing The Diamond"

Ow. Ow. Ow.

While I have a number of tattoos and piercings, this is one body modification I can do without. On second thought, a Green Lantern implant might be right up my alley.

Gratitude

While doing my regular web wandering, I stumbled across a message board post reminding us to be mindful of that for which we're grateful. Given the amount of criticizing I do on this blog, I thought I'd devote an entire entry to gratitude. Here are 10 things for which I'm grateful (in the order they came to mind).

1. Kathleen
2. Our menagerie of critters: Bishop, Clay, Java, Blossom, and Oz.
3. Turbo Tax.
4. Good & Plenty
5. Teen Titans Volume 3. This is presently my favorite comic book read.
6. Fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.
7. Controller.controller. I ordered their EP today.
8. My mom. She sent one of her silly "Hi from Mom--Please Read" emails this morning.
9. Coyotes. We could hear them playing in the open space last night.
10. Star Wars: The Clone Wars Animated Series. Who knew three minutes could be so enjoyable?

10 things for which I'm grateful in less than 10 minutes. I actually had to edit the list in order to keep it to ten. I'll save the extras for next week.

Television Injustice

Yet another quality television show has been cancelled. Wonderfalls, the quirky drama/comedy that follows the adventures of a young twentysomething who talks to inanimate objects, has been cancelled after FOUR EPISODES. What the fuck? How on earth can TV executives cancel a program after four freakin' episodes!? More importantly, how many thought-provoking programs will be cancelled in favor of yet another reality TV series? Next on Fox: High School Reunion Survivor for the Average Joe who Needs a Celebrity Makeover. More pablum for the below average intelligence of the typical U.S. American television viewer.

Fleeting Memories and the Right Hand of Doom

Despite an extremely hectic schedule, I managed to catch two very engaging, yet entirely different, films. The first film, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, is one of the best films I've seen in a long, long time. At a time when I consider most films to be vacuous, form over substance faire, this piece proved touching and thought-provoking. In fact, this is one of the few films to ever bring me to tears. My eyes didn't just fill with tears--I wept openly and continued to do so for five minutes after the conclusion.

Hellboy falls on the opposite end of the tear-inducing spectrum. If you like comic book movies, Hellboy is for you. If you're looking for a deep message, you'll be hard-pressed to find one. Instead, this film is all about action, humor, and special effects. Need to escape reality for a couple hours? Hellboy should do the trick.

With a nod to Roger Ebert, I give both films two thumbs up.

Of Radioactive Breath and Rubber Suits

If you're a fan of Godzilla, the following is a must read:

Godzilla

For the record, I don't consider the 1998 Emmerich Godzilla, starring the very likeable Matthew Broderick, part of the official 'zilla canon. Seriously, how can you have a Godzilla who doesn't breathe radioactive fire? The very notion of a Godzilla who doesn't melt a tank or two in a movie is plain laughable.

The Sexiest

I don't know if these people are the sexiest in the world, but I find them sexier than those on the lame FHM list.

Women:
Gwen Stefani
Diana Krall
Sarah McLachlan
Natalie Portman
Drew Barrymore

Men:
Ted (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy)
Johnny Depp
John Cusack
Avery Brooks (Captain Sisko, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)
Michael Rosenbaum (Lex Luthor, Smallville)

Britney isn't squat compared to the above ten.

WTF Department: Britney is the Sexiest?!

As Tek Whore points out, Britney Spears has been rated the sexiest woman in the world:

Are You Kidding Me?

Are you freakin' kidding me? Britney Spears? Argh! And someone described her voice as "sultry"? How about whiney? I'll generate Derek's List of Sexy People in my next post.

You Can be Gay, But I Don't Want to See it

That's the attitude perpetrated by most of the mainstream media outlets. We can see gay men teach straight men about fashion, food, decorating, hygiene, and culture, but we don't want to see them kiss. We can see a gay man be Grace's best friend, but we don't want to see him in an actual relationship. Quit acting like you're all accepting and multicultural, people! The truth of the matter is that most people are still wildly intolerant of gays and lesbians. Oh, you'll hear people speak of acceptance, but in practice they'll fall woefully short.

In fact, it was hard to leave it on for the length of time required to research this piece since not only is Playing It Straight ideologically offensive, it's also colossally boring.

Give Me Something for Which to Vote

When Senator Kerry emerged as the only serious Democratic contender in the race for the White House, I turned to Kathleen and said, "I'll probably piss off quite a few people, but I think I'm going to for myself on this year's Presidential ballot. Kerry definitely doesn't represent my interests and beliefs. He's Bush-lite. I wish Nader would run. He's the only person who talks about issues important to me." A few weeks later, I got my wish: Nader announced his candidacy. Within seconds of Nader's announcement, various Democrats spoke out against Nader. People said, "If you vote for Nader, you're jeopardizing our chance to take back the White House. You can't possibly be serious about supporting Nader! This isn't about Kerry, this is about defeating Bush!" Is it just me or does that sound suspiciously close to a "lesser-of-two-evils" argument? Let me get this straight, I'm not supposed to vote for the candidate who best represents my interests? I'm supposed to vote for candidate who I don't see as being significantly different from Bush? Here's the deal: voting for the lesser of two "evils" is still voting for "evil." Duh.

John Kerry can take is I-Voted-For-No-Child-Left-Behind-NAFTA-Patriot-Act-Military-Action-In-Iraq attitude and forget about my vote. When I run down his voting record, Kerry looks pretty damn similar to President Curious George.

Check out the following article for more wonderful tidbits about Senator Kerry:

Support My Positions!

Oh, and for those who despise President Curious George, like me, you can stop at Buzzflash for your daily dose of rage. Truth be told, I quit reading the page a couple months back. One stop at Buzzflash and I'm furious the rest of the day.

Icelandic Elves

The perfect vacation destination for the Lord of the Rings obsessed:

Pixies, Trolls and Viking Gods

I must confess, a trip revolving around the folk tales of Iceland has a certain appeal to me.

Sprinting Zombies?

Uh, aren't zombies supposed to be slow-witted and slow-moving menaces? Not anymore:

Turbo Zombies

While I enjoyed 28 Days Later, I did lament the loss of creeping zombies. There's something terrifying about a mass of unrelenting undead slowly overwhelming a victim.

Must. Not. Give. In. To. Dark. Side.

The offical Star Wars site has posted a description of Episode III:

After three long years of relentless fighting, the Clone Wars are nearly at an end. The Jedi Council dispatches Obi-Wan Kenobi to bring the deadly leader of the Separatist droid army to justice. Meanwhile, back on Coruscant, Chancellor Palpatine has grown in power. His sweeping political changes transform the war-weary Republic into the mighty Galactic Empire. To his closest ally, Anakin Skywalker, he reveals the true nature of power and the promised secrets of the Force in an attempt to lure him to the dark side.

Episode III

I'm trying to go spoiler free for the final episode. I honestly don't know if I can do it. I visit a number of Sci-Fi websites every day and whenever I see a SW headline, the cursor is automatically drawn in that direction. Must. Resist.

Only 429 days, 12 hours, and 29 minutes until opening day. I'll never make it.

Classic Rockin' and Roadin'

During the 80s, when my teenage peers were listening to the likes of Prince, Culture Club, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Madonna, and Cyndi Lauper, I hung out with a group of guys who listened to classic rock. Looking back, embracing rock and roll from the 60s and 70s was our way of rebelling against hegemonic musical tastes. The four of us (sometimes five or six, depending on whether Tommy and Steve were around) spent countless hours traversing the gravel roads of Weld County Colorado smoking cigarettes, drinking beer, bemoaning the trials and tribulations of teen life, and learning the meaning of friendship. During that all-too-fleeting two year period of the mid 80s, classic rock and roll provided a unique soundtrack to our journey. Almost 20 years later, any song by the The Beatles, The Who, The Rolling Stones, The Doors, Boston, Led Zeppelin, Janice Joplin, Queen, The Steve Miller Band, and a multitude of others, brings back a few fading memories. I think I might even remember each of our favorite bands (this might be pushing it): Jay--Yes, Saul--Three Dog Night (at the very least he went through a Three Dog Night phase), Chuck--The Eagles, Steve--Chicago (he also had all of Rick Wakeman's solo albums), Me--The Beatles, Boston, or Queen's soundtrack to Flash Gordon (?). To be honest, I can't remember my own favorite band during my high school years. How odd is that?

What conjured these memories to mind is an article about one of the classic rock and roll acts of the 70s. Oddly enough, the band has experienced a degree of longevity that most classic rock acts can't match.

Fleetwood Mac: Going Their Own Way

I wonder if I still have a copy of Rumours round here somewhere?

Going Down

Several weeks ago, I had a discussion with my friend Bob about the Nuggets' playoff hopes. He predicted they'd back into the playoffs as an 8th seed. I had this to say:

"If the Nuggets lose their next home game--I think they're playing Indiana--they will not make the playoffs."

Well, that next home game was indeed against Indiana and the Nuggets lost by 9. After lost night's loss to Detroit and Utah's win against Cleveland, the boys in dainty metallic blue are clinging to a playoff spot by a 1/2 game. As I've been saying to Nuggets' fans all season, enjoy the much improved basketball but don't get your hopes up for the playoffs. There's still a lot to be done to make this a winning basketball team.

True Compassion

True compassion is not based upon any expectation of a reward for the act done.

--The Dalai Lama

Dork Cool

Last week, Kathleen gave me a hilarious birthday card. The card reads, "You're always on the right side of that fine line between cool and dorky." I can live with that.

Dork cool rules!

Propaganda Model: Reliance on Government Experts

According to Herman and Chomsky's propaganda model, there are five filters through which media dispersed information must pass before reaching the public. The third of these filters is the reliance on government/corporate/institutional experts for information. As the following article attests, relying on these "experts" can be problematic. When attending a government press conference, for example, information can be manipulated or witheld.

Michael Wolff, a columnist for New York magazine, drew hearty applause from reporters when he asked Brig. Gen. Vincent Brooks, one of the command's chief spokesmen, during a briefing why we should attend when so little information was forthcoming.

Every reporter I knew concurred with the evaluation of the press center that appeared in Wolff's next column: "It takes about 48 hours to understand that information is probably more freely available at any other place in the world than it is here.

Randomness

I bought some Soy Candles at last weekend's Metaphysical Fair. Unlike their petroleum based counterparts, soy candles give off zero soot. Kathleen bought a small labradorite pendant. Labradorite reputedly enhances self-awareness, promotes balance, and brings clarity to inner sight.

I'm presently reading Star Trek: The Sundered, Discerning the Subject, and Performing Rites: On the Value of Popular Music. Any guesses as to which book is for pleasure and which are for my academic writing?

While I turned 36 last Thursday, I feel like I'm still in my mid 20s. I received Aveda Clove Shampoo and Clove Conditioner as one of my birthday gifts. I love the way cloves taste and smell.

A waiter at a local restaurant recently approached me and said, "You look like the lead singer of the Ramones." I thanked him for the compliment, then turned to Kathleen and said, "Is that guy stoned? I don't look anything like Joey Ramone." My in-laws were lost during the entire exchange.

I have been clean and sober for 3,940 days. I haven't smoked in 288 days.

Rock and Roll Crayons

One of the music sites I visit, Olympian Shadow Farm, is having a contest of sorts. The contest revolves around creating a box of rock and roll, punk, and jazz based Crayola Crayons. The idea is to create an entire box of music inspired crayons. Pretty cool, eh? Here are the colors I submitted to the contest:

Blondie (a light, almost white, yellow)
Johnny Rotten Apple (dark rust)
Osmond (metallic purple, like Donny's socks)
Starship Trooper (metallic black)
Blue Oyster Cult (blue tinted mother-of-pearl)
Muddy Waters (creamy brown)
Rocket Man (red glitter)
Pinball Wizard (silver)

Submit your own colors via comments!

I should also note that Steve Davis, a member of many of the Olympian Shadow Farms bands, is my cousin. Steve is not only a talented guitarist, but also writes a semi-regular column for the site:

Here Goes Nothin'

The WTF Department

This is too damn funny. Just what every woman wanted to know.

A Woman's Guide on How to Pee Standing Up

Be sure to check out the multiple methods!

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?


obsessive compulsive


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

There's a bit of truth in that description.

Horrid

Last post was about a great comic book cover. This post includes some of the worst.

Ugh

Chaplains at War? Did anyone really read that?

The Hulk vs Iron Man!

Talk about a cool comic cover!

Whoa

Are those hip pods I see on Iron Man? How long has it been since the Iron Man armor sported hip pods?! A new armor firmly rooted in the past. I love it.

Escapist People

Are geeks really all that socially inept? Do we all retreat to our fantasy realms, hiding in the expanses of the Star Wars universe, the realms of Middle Earth, or the time-space continuum of Dr. Who? According to this piece, geek cool could be the end of humanity.

And the Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth

Balderdash! If anything, geek cool is humanity's path to salvation. To be perfectly honest, the only people with whom I keep in touch consider themselves geeks. We talk movies, comic books, on-line games, literature, and all things fantasy/science fiction. Most of the same people enjoy those artifacts because they have substance. Have you taken a look at television (the pastime of "normal" folks), lately? Sitcoms and reality television? Vaccuous nonsense. There isn't a redeeming quality to most television programs. Question: What's the consistent theme of Friends? Answer: Stick with the same friends long enough and eventually everyone will sleep with everyone else! Question: What's the message behind The Apprentice? Answer: Do anything to win! Sex and questionable ethics are fair game if it means avoiding Trump's board room. Contrast any sitcom with the spiritual messages of Star Wars (redemption), Lord of the Rings (good triumphs over evil), or even Spiderman (with great power comes great responsibility), and I think you'll find the more substantive message in the realm of science fiction/fantasy.

Personally, I can't wait for the day when everything is run by geeks.

Hangover Blues

Maybe it's because I haven't had a drink in almost eleven years, but isn't the following list missing the most obvious hangover cure?

Hangover

The most obvious cure: DON'T DRINK TO EXCESS. Would you believe I've gone over a decade without having a hangover? Amazing! No liquor = no hangover. It defies logic!

The second most obvious cure (and one that I used several times a week during the good old days): take four ibuprofen, fill the bathtub with steaming hot water (it should kind of hurt to get in), and lay on your back so only your nose is above water. Bake for fifteen minutes. If you don't fall asleep and drown, the old bathtub-head-bake should serve you well. Follow up with a 32 oz Diet Pepsi and a pack of Winterfresh gum.

I used to think the gum masked the smell of alcohol on my breath. Today, I realize I probably walked around smelling like wintergreen schnapps. Mmmmmmmm. ::wretch::

Are You A Wrestler?

Setting: Derek is fifteen minutes into his workout. He's running 7.5 mph on a treadmill. A woman approaches the front of the treadmill and speaks.

Woman: Are you wrestler?
Derek ::trying to breathe and talk at the same time:: What?!
Woman: A wrestler. My son is a wrestler.
Derek: Uh, no. I'm not a wrestler.
Woman: Really? You look just like the high school state champion.
Derek: I'm a little old to be a high school wrestler. I'm a college instructor, not a wrestler.
Woman: You're kidding!?
Derek: Nope. I'm about 18 years too old be a high school wrestler.
Woman: Wow. You look so young. Sorry about that.
Derek: No problem. I'll take it as a compliment.

I guess my new Obsessively Organic Eye Repair Creme must be working.

You Have a Beautiful Home . . . For Me to Poop On!

Eeeeewwwwwww

Make sure you check out the slideshow.

Go Cubs

Almost forgot: less than one month before the Cubs begin their march to the World Series! Woohoo!

Class Act

As an NBA fan, I often struggle with the immense egos of the players. Clearly, the NBA is an "I" league; it's all about the superstars. From time to time, however, you run across one of those players who seems like a throwback to the NBA of the past. Ryan Bowen of the Denver Nuggets is such a player.

Winning over Whining

Rather than whining about the "injury" that put him on the injured list, Bowen takes it for the team. Contrast that attitude with Marcus Camby (aka Mr. Glass) who refused to go on the injured list, despite a number of real nagging injuries. Why to take one for the team, Camby.

bowdlerize

bowdlerize \BODE-luh-rise; BOWD-\, transitive verb:
1. To remove or modify the parts (of a book, for example)
considered offensive.
2. To modify, as by shortening, simplifying, or distorting in
style or content.

The president did not call for bowdlerizing all
entertainment, but stressed keeping unsuitable material
away from the eyes of children.
--"Conference a start toward loosening grip of violence,"
Atlanta Journal, May 12, 1999

His tempestuous high school years are touched upon in a
delightful scene where the precocious Roy infuriates his
English teacher by trying to restore some of Shakespeare's
saucier lines to that classroom's bowdlerized study of
Hamlet.
--Herman Goodden, "A Few Scenes in the Life of Roy
McDonald," [1]London Free Press, December 7, 2000

He added that he bowdlerized some of the lyrics --
substituting "jerk" and "butt" for some less printable
words.
--Lloyd Grove, "The Reliable Source," [2]Washington Post,
February 15, 2001
_________________________________________________________

Bowdlerize derives from the name Thomas Bowdler, an editor in
Victorian times who rewrote Shakespeare, removing all
profanity and sexual references so as not to offend the
sensibilities of the audiences of his day.

References

1. http://www.fyilondon.com/londonfreepress/index.shtml
2. http://www.washingtonpost.com/

Dictionary.com Entry and Pronunciation

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=9&q=bowdlerize

Archaeological Coolness

If I had to be someone other than I am today, I'd want to be Indiana Jones.

Tuscany Excalibur
Roanoke
King of Stonehenge

I doubt these expeditions will encounter Nazis, Hindu magic, or the Holy Grail, but one never knows.

The Number of the Beast

Ahahahaha! The Passion buzz just gets better and better:

666

It's a number--sit down and watch your damn movie.

Nice Guys Who Smell Good

I found this message posted on The Muffs message board:

hi
please stop by www.bxlmusic.com
we are nice guys and smell good
were a dorky indie band from so cal

I have NO idea if this band is any good and really don't care. The "nice guys who smell good" approach made me chuckle.