More Nonsense Names

Last night on VH1's Best Week Ever, several actors, musicians, and comics commented on the name of Gwyneth Paltrow's new baby (Apple). The topic lead to a general discussion of the wacky names stars give their children. For instance, Jason Lee apparently named his child Pilot Inspektor. What? Who could forget Dweezil and Moon Unit Zappa? One of the comedians on the show suggested a great name: Steelwool Wombat! In honor of wacky child names, or the horror of wacky child names, I've decided to offer a list using objects found in my home office.

Bamboo Hematite
Rune Kneebrace
Converse Incense
CD Staple
Button Lipbalm
Kleenex Paperweight
Stickynote Ticketstub
Amethyst Smudgestick
Gargoyle Tealight
Socks Hoseclamp
Boxfan Candlestick
Lampshade PowerPuff
Slate Coffeemug
Thesaurus Lunchbox
Altoid Envelope
Snowglobe Bookend
Scissors Litterbox

Picking a reasonable name is the first step in good parenting. These stars are setting their kids up for a boatload of teasing. Sheesh.