Salmagundi

STK has a job interview Monday afternoon at a school district that's fairly close (within an hour commute). Send postive interviewing vibes at 3:30 CST.

Nuggets finally won a playoff game against the Clippers. The game was one of the ugliest games I've seen this year. Absolutely painful to watch, especially the 3rd quarter.

We're spending the evening with Aunt J and Uncle G on Saturday. Cousin S will be in town from the Northwest and we really want to see him. So, we're piling in the Element and making the 3.5 hour drive to The Big City. It will be good to get out of town for a day or so.

The Two Week buzzer sounded today at 4 PM. That's right, the semester finally ends in two weeks. I think I'm done giving finals three or four days later. The finals schedule around here is kind of screwy. Better check on that. Regardless, I should have final grades calculated no later than May 18. I can't wait.

DenverEnvy

I really miss Denver.

Friday's Feast. Friday, April 21, 2006

Appetizer--List 3 things you keep putting off.
Mailing a package to A.
Cleaning my desk.
Scanning an essay for students.

Soup--What do you feel is your greatest responsibility?
I would have said being kind/compassionate up until about 10 months ago. Now, my greatest responsibility is teaching my son to be gentle, compassionate, and kind.

Salad--If you could have starred in any movie, which one would you have wanted to be in and why?
Napolean Dynamite. I look cool in moon boots.

Main Course--What is an expectation you had as a child about being an adult and, now that you are grown up, you realize you were wrong?
I guess I probably felt that adults have more freedom. Boy, was that ever wrong. All the responsibilities we have in our lives actually curtails our freedoms quite a bit. Oh, we can make just about any old decision, but the consequences are amplified significantly as an adult.

Dessert--When was the last time you had your car serviced?
Monday.

Denied!

A few weeks ago, I submitted a chapter proposal for an upcoming Science Fiction book. Today, I received a very nicely worded email informing me that my proposal wasn't right for the book.

Putting work out there and having it critiqued, and possibly rejected, is one of the few hazards of my profession. Even the best scholars typically receive several rejections a year. As a relatively new scholar, I'm always told the same thing: "don't take the rejections personally." I have a difficult time with that, I'm afraid. There's that part of me that always asks, "Why wasn't my work good enough?" Silly, I know, but that's my initial reaction. So, I spent the better part of today bummed that my proposal didn't make the cut. I'll give myself the rest of tonight to feel disappointed and then it's time to suck it up and move on. As I've been asked to participate on a panel at the upcoming national convention, some form of the essay will likely see the light of day (we're still waiting on acceptances for national convention panels). If the panel doesn't make the cut, I'll sit down and decide how much time and energy I want to put into submitting the essay to a journal.

Blowing Smoke

"I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."

There you have it. Exhibit A regarding the President's inability to admit he made a bad decision. Hearing voices is right. This President needs a good therapist as much, if not more, then he needs a new Secretary of Defense.

The Elusive Academic Americano

Are you kidding me? This is my dream research. Why didn't I think of this as a research project?!

His research has taken him to 300 Starbucks in six countries for a caffeine-fueled opus titled "Consuming Starbucks" that's due for publication in 2008. He is one of several academics studying a type of 21st century cafe culture — Italian coffee in an American package — that has spread rapidly around the world.

I'm open to any and all suggestions regarding the intersection of coffee, popular culture, and rhetoric. Something about conspicuous consumption, perhaps?

Scooby Dooby Doo, Where Are You?

I received a jury summons for U.S. District Court today . . . in Denver. Apparently, nobody in the District Court system is aware that my official residence changed eight months ago. Honest. I updated my address with the local DMV, the IRS, and everything. Thinking I should try and avoid the potential arrest warrant that comes from bailing out of jury duty, I made a quick call to the Clerk of the Denver U.S. District Court. The conversation went something like this.

Clerk: US District Court. May I help you.
Me: Yes. I received a jury summons for the Denver District Court. Unfortunately, I no longer live in the Denver area. I now live in the Midwest. Is there a way I can be excused from serving in Denver?
Clerk: You'll need to fill out the potential juror form and send it back. Indicate your new address and a request to be excused on the back.
Me: Uh, can't I just give you that information. My address officially changed eight months ago. I updated everything with the local DMV months ago.
Clerk: No. You need to fill out the potential juror form and mail it back.
Me: Uh, I'm not really a potential juror. I live 900 miles away.
Clerk: You still need to return the form. That's how we handle requests to be excused. Fill out the form and use the postage paid envelope.
Me: Okay. I guess I'll fill out the form.
Clerk: Thanks for calling.
Me: Sure

So, I spent 10 minutes filling out the silly bubble sheet form with my trusty No. 2 pencil. Mind you, this is a form that WILL NOT BE USED by lawyers when forming a jury pool BECAUSE I'M 900 MILES AWAY.

This goofy experience has shed a ton of insight into why our nation can't find such elusives as Osama bin Laden. If the U.S. District Court can't keep tabs on someone who voluntarily updates his legal residence information, then how on earth can we expect the federal government to track down someone who tries to evade detection?* Sheesh.

*I bet that last paragraph triggered some government internet tracking program.
Osama + evade detection = trigger. Count on it.

Proceed with Guarded Optimism

I'm not sure if it's a result of all the thoughts, energy, prayers, or magick spells being directed our way, but we've received some very good news. STK spent early Friday afternoon seeking legal advice regarding the condo; STK spent late Friday afternoon going over the details of a real estate contract. We finally received on offer on The Albatross. It took until Saturday afternoon to get the formal contract faxed* and returned but, as of last evening, all parties had a signed contract in hand.

While we're relieved, we understand that it's not a done deal. According to our realtor, however, the loan won't be a problem with the lender (she already called to make sure the buyers are approved and ready to go)and the appraisal and inspection are nothing more than formalities. So, we cross our fingers and toes and proceed with guarded optimism. Since the buyers are in a lease through the end of May, the closing date is scheduled for May 25. As luck would have it, we're making another trip westward at the end of May for my 20th high school reunion. If all goes well, there will be much we-finally-sold-the-place celebrating before returning to the Midwest corn oven**.

Continued thoughts, energy, prayers, and magick spells would be much appreciated.

*Would you believe someone gave us a printer/copier/fax machine combo during our recent trip to Colorado. Weird.

**Mad props to my cousin S for coining the term "corn oven." If you haven't spent a summer in the Midwest, you probably won't understand the appropriateness of that term.

Feastivus

Appetizer--Name a trait you share with your parents or your children.
My son and I seem to share an inability to sleep. We'll both sleep, but we have to be absolutely exhausted to do so.

Soup--List 3 qualities of a good leader, in your opinion.
Compassion, passion, organization.

Salad--Who is your favorite television chef?
Jeff Smith, The Frugal Gourmet. He taught me how to cook, actually.

Main Course--Share a story about a gift you received from someone you love.
For our first anniversary, STK took us for an overnight visit to Gold Lake Spa. Heated marble floors in the cabin bathroom, gourmet meals, massage, lakeside hot pools? Are you kidding? I'd never experienced anything like that trip. Talk about rest and relaxation.

Dessert--How do you react under pressure?
I generally get very stressed out, have a meltdown or two, then get my act together and rise to the occasion.

Krakatoa

Earlier today, I had a complete and utter meltdown regarding the condo situation. I'm not talking a profanity laced tirade--my normal meltdown--but a throwing things (thankfully, it was a piece of cardboard and plastic bag), screaming at the top of my lungs, shaking my fist at the sky, profanity laced eruption. STK talked with an attorney and he said she'll probably have to look at the B-word as an option if we want to protect our assets and income. If there's a deficiency judgment, and that's a regular occurance with a foreclosure, the bank will come after her for the remaining balance. Bankruptcy apparently forces the lender to look at other options (e.g. Deed in Lieu of Foreclosure). The condo is entirely in her name and she's going to be the one who takes the hit on the deal. I feel like a total schmuck for having asked her to move away from a decade long career and a situation in which we were having no problem making payments on the condo. Yes, I would have been an adjunct professor for the rest of my higher education career had we stayed in Colorado. Today, that doesn't seem like it would have been such a bad choice. Don't get me wrong, I love my present job. At the end of the day, however, I'm not sure it's worth the sacrifices.

Maybe the amazing will happen and the condo will sell in the next month. I'm not holding my breath.

Beginner's Mind

In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few.

-Shunryu Suzuki, "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind"

Reality Bites

The trip home was long, but uneventful, and we finally collapsed in an exhausted heap around 4 AM Sunday. After a few hours sleep, it was back to reality for me. School, school, and more school. Three days later and I'm almost caught up. I should know better than to take a vacation during Spring Break. Despite the stress of falling behind, I'm glad we made the trip as I really needed a city fix. Most of the time, we're okay living in a small community. Once in a while, however, we long for the hustle and bustle.

Unfortunately, school isn't the only source of stress in our lives. Since returning, we've had to face a few situations we wish we could avoid. M called last night and asked if I'd be able to attend the wedding at the end of the month. With a great deal of regret, I informed him that we just can't afford the trip. Skipping the celebration is killing me, actually. M and I have been friends for over 25 years; we've seen one another through extreme highs and dreadful lows. I would love nothing more than to be in SLC come April 21, but that just won't happen. Dammit.

Which brings me to the ugliest of the various reality checks: the condo. After a year on the market and thousands of mortgage dollars paid, the condo still hasn't sold. We've totally gutted one of our retirement accounts and have no additional $$$ from which to draw. The "F" word, and not the profane term that seems to upset the older generation, has been flowing freely in our home. That's right--foreclosure. If the condo doesn't sell by June 30, we'll have to let it go. STK and I aren't used to being in this situation as we both have perfect credit. We really don't have that much debt and while things are tight from time to time, paying the bills isn't a problem. Paying for two living spaces, one we occupy and one we don't, isn't feasible. We've considered everything possible to keep the place up-to-date until it sells which, given the poor state of the market, could be a good long time. We've considered walking away from my position and moving back: STK could land a job fairly easily. Unfortunately, college teaching positions aren't easy to come by--that's why we moved in the 1st place. We've thought about STK & TLO moving back, STK taking a teaching position, and me staying at my present position.* We'd commute back and forth on weekends once a month, maybe twice. We'd be able to spend all the various breaks together, too. That's one of the benefits of two teachers hookin' up. That arrangement would no doubt save the condo but I'd miss watching my son grow up and STK and I would have to learn how to negotiate a long-distance relationship. Ick. Losing the place isn't the end of the world. A condo is a material possession and in the long run those don't count for much. I think it's a matter of our pride more than anything else. When we make a commitment, we both like to fulfill our obligations.

When we accepted the position and made the move last summer, we thought we were doing the right thing for our family. A slower way of life, a safer place for our child, and a lower cost of living all seemed incredibly attractive. The only drawback we saw, and we did see this possibility, was the sale of our place. We convinced ourselves, however, that the place would sell. This was the perfect position for me. The stars aligned! Of course the condo would sell. Ooops. Today, I question whether we made the right decision. Yes, I love my job. In fact, I think it's safe to say there isn't another job out there that's more perfect. The students and administration seem to feel the same way about me, too. Yes, TLO is being raised in a way that wouldn't have been possible last year. He spends about six hours a month in the care of someone other than STK or myself. From almost every angle (lack of Kaladi Coffee and good bagels is another serious shortfall of our present location), this has been a good move. Financially, it's been a freakin' disaster. It will literally take us a decade or more to recoup the retirement $$$ through which we've burned. The only thing that keeps from totally losing my shit over all of this is that I know things could be much, much worse. Food could be difficult to come by, someone could be ill, etc. I keep repeating over and over: it's just a condo, it's just a condo, it's just a condo.

Can I take another vacation? For a week we were able to get away, play with friends and family, drink good coffee, eat terrific bagels, and relax. A few days later and reality returns. Reality is overrated.

*Family and friends in the area would help with TLO, no doubt. If he stayed with me, we'd be dealing with daycare 5 days a week. Another expense. Great.

Midwest or Bust

After several fun filled days in the Rocky Mountain region, STK, TLO, and I are packing our bags and heading back to the Midwest tomorrow AM. To say this has been a busy trip would be an understatement. Thankfully, the business of it all has been offset by the thrill of spending time with friends and family. We managed to see J & T (who just happened to be back visiting T's daughter), all our Goth friends (J, C, M, TLR [the newest gothling], S, K, K's new boi, G, M), STK's family, and my family. We also managed to hit most of our favorite restaurants, coffee houses, CD stores, and a couple of used bookstores. Tattoos were inked, V for Vendetta consumed, and two flavors of taffy, banana & black licorice, procured.* I managed to finish my chapter proposal and even graded a handful of papers. Alas, I have many, many papers to grade in the Element during our long drive back tomorrow. Sunday afternoon and evening have already been designated official catch-up-on-school/grading hours. That's the price for traveling, I suppose. I think it's a price well worth paying.

We've decided that we'll give the entire drive a shot--it's about 15 hours with all the stopping required by the dogs and TLO. Fortunately, I have relatives about 11 hours or so into the trip. If we're tired, we've made arrangements to crash for the night. So, I should be back to my regular sporadic posts early in the coming week.

*More proof that Natalie Portman can act and that George Lucas somehow managed to suck the acting life of her.

Community

Because we all share this planet earth, we have to learn to live in harmony and peace with each other and with nature. That is not just a dream, but a necessity. We are dependent on each other in so many ways that we can no longer live in isolated communities and ignore what is happening outside those communities.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Temporality

Until about a week ago, this semester was killing me. I couldn't get into a groove in terms of class prep, grading, and research; no matter how hard I tried, I was always a few steps behind. There just wasn't enough time in the day for school, family, personal time, and sleep. Last week, however, I had one of those Eureka! moments. Rather than trying to sleep my regular 1-7 routine, I decided to break up my sleep pattern. My new schedule looks something like the following.

0230-0700 Sleep
0700-0900 TLO/AM Routine
0900-1130 Nap w/TLO
1130-1230 TLO/Lunch
1230-1700 School
1700-1830 TLO Time
1830-2000 Exercise
2000-2200 Eat/STK Time
2200-0000 School
0000-0200 Surf/Read/work
0200-0230 Leisure Read
Repeat

Believe it or not, the routine seems to work for me. I'm not a terribly heavy sleeper and I used to spend much of every night in bed, but awake. By the time I make it to bed between 2-3 AM, I'm asleep within about 10 minutes of turning out the light and I don't wake up until the alarm screeches at 7:10 AM.

I still don't have enough time in the day (I had a "How am I going to get all this done?" moment a couple nights back), but the situation is improving. I'm working on a proposal for a book chapter and that means more school/research time than usual. When that's done, however, I should have time to spare.

Taming of the Brew

For those in search of a good cappuccino in a Starbucks-on-every-corner world (and sometimes two Starbucks on opposite corners), give their short cappuccino a try. I'm afraid I can't offer a review. I don't drink anything other than coffee, espresso, and an occasional Americano (espresso shots with water).

The Short Cappuccino

And some not so great news for those of us trying to be socially conscious coffee drinkers:

Not So Fair Trade Coffee?

I love the paragraph regarding the way the meaning of coffee has changed in the last decade.

In the mid-?90s, as Starbucks stores popped up in rapid succession and the image of the overworked exec lost some of its appeal, coffee became associated with epicureans rather than workaholics. The luxury item of a leisure class, coffee was suddenly less speed than valium. "Almost overnight, coffee switched its meaning," comments Scott Hamrah, a semiotics consultant and expert in the field of brand identity. "It became the opposite of what it meant before. First it was this stuff that you drank that allows you to be a machine. Then it became this moment of serene contemplation."

Oddly enough, coffee means both for me. I find a good cup of coffee one of the most soothing things on the planet. Similarly, it's a great jolt of get up and go about 1 or 2 PM. Given my intake of coffee and caffeine, I think any physical effects are largely a result of psychological expectations.

headache

Here's the incomprehensible thought of the evening.

Potentiality (in its double appearance as potentiality to and as potentiality not to) is that through which Being founds itself sovereignly, which is to say, without anything preceding or dtermining it other than its own ability not to be. And an act is sovereign when it realizes itself by simply taking away its own potentiality not to be, letting itself be, giving itself to itself.

If you're thinking, "huh?", I'm with you.

He Keeps Going, and Going, and Going . . .

If at first you don't succeed, keep reiterating the same message that presently has you facing record low numbers in the polls.

President Bush plans to issue a new national security strategy today reaffirming his doctrine of preemptive war against terrorists and hostile states with chemical, biological or nuclear weapons, despite the troubled experience in Iraq.

How many more years do have to put up with hearing the same thing again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again . . . ?

Isn't there an election soon or something?

HuhWha?

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I'm part of an academic reading group. After a long hiatus, we're resuming our gatherings and beginning with the first couple chapters of Giorgio Agamben's Homo Sacer: Sovereign Power and Bare Life. Have I mentioned that I'm the only non-philosopher in the reading group? This puts me at a serious disadvantage when it comes to getting up to speed with the concepts presented in almost very text we tackle. Rather than reading straight through the first couple chapters of Homo Sacer, I had to stop and spend some time educating myself on "the state of exception" concept. Thanks to the magic of the Internets, I think I understand the basics of the idea. "Think" is the operative term.

I don't feel very smart tonight. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's not my usual territory.

Huh?

I had one of those days in the classroom where odd vocabulary words were flying out of my mouth. This unnamed phenomenon occurs once in a great while and there doesn't appear to be any rhyme or reason to it. I don't know if I get bored with my regular vocabulary or what, but it usually perplexes a few of my students. Here are some of the words I used today:

foliage
deftly
besmirched
hullabaloo
juxtaposition

Anyone want to take a guess as to how I used each?