Uh, No

Had a student request a Saturday meeting as a result of her poor planning. Any guesses as to my response?

Feast

Friday's Feast for Friday, 29 June 2007

Appetizer--How many pieces of jewelry do you wear most days?
Varies from day to day but on a light day I wear 14 pieces of jewelry: 9 piercings, 4 rings, and a necklace. I'm not counting my wrist jellies--I typically wear 3 on the left wrist and 7 on the right.

Soup--What is your favorite instrumental song?
Great question. I'll skip the classics and go with something more poppy: the theme from Star Trek: DS9.

Salad--Who has a last name that you like?
Obi-wan Kenobi.

Main Course--Name a popular movie you’ve never seen.
Titanic. I won't see anything that unseated Star Wars as the biggest money maker of all time. Want to know how it ends? The boat sinks.

Dessert--Fill in the blank: Nothing makes me ___________ like ____________.
Nothing makes me excited like finding out about new Star Wars projects.

Dog Days

I've been suffering from a great deal of guilt the last couple weeks. Dargo, the dog we rescued a few months back, made it quite clear that we weren't the family for him. Despite months of trying to help him feel more at home--months of kitchen messes, chewed toys, and wrecked crates--it finally became apparent he needed a home with an outdoor kennel or people who are home most of the time. A couple months ago everything seemed to be going well. Within the last six weeks, however, his destructive behavior escalated to the point that we were concerned he was going to tear up the kitchen floor, chew the cabinets, etc. So, Dargo returned to the rescue from whence he came. And I feel awful about it. I know it was the right thing to do, but I just feel terrible. He was an awesome dog . . . when we were home. The foster person at the rescue reminded me that they'd find him a more appropriate home and that he won't be euthanized. Thank goodness for folks who care, I suppose.

On a far more positive note, we stumbled across a new puppy. One of my students heard about the recent dog difficulties and connected us with a local family trying to get rid of puppies. The puppies--yellow lab and black farm dog mutt mix--will be ready for pick up in a little under a month. While puppies are definitely frustrating, we'll at least have a hand in training this dog from the outset and the kind of long term destructiveness issues we encountered with Dargo are highly unlikely. Yes, we'll have to deal with house training, a chewed shoe or two, and dominance issues with TLO. After a full year, however, most of those problems will dissipate with consistent training. That's something we couldn't provide Dargo; at two years of age, there were some behavioral issues that weren't ever going to change.

So, while we're sad at one departure we're looking forward to a new arrival. We picked a male puppy that has a black coat with just a wisp of white on his chest and chin (kind of looks like my tiny little soul patch). Leading contenders for names include:

Malcolm (he'd be called Mal)
Kaladi (Kal, for short. A nod to my favorite coffee house and Superman's Kryptonian name)
Severus (my present favorite)

Listen up, you primitive screwheads.

Bruce Campbell alert! Bruce is co-starring in a new show on USA Network:*

Burn Notice.

While I'm a huge fan of USA programming--Monk, Psych, 4400, Dead Zone--I really didn't have much interest in this show until I found out, just minutes ago, that Bruce Campbell is part of the cast. This has now risen to "Must See" status.

Hail to the king, baby.

Returned

We drove into the garage around 4 AM this morning, thus completing our two week Colorado journey. This is probably the last time we'll do the 16 hour drive straight through. I don't know if we're getting old or what, but we were really dragging the last couple hours. Would you believe two weeks wasn't enough time to do everything we wanted to do? Despite missing out on Fashion Nation, the new location of the Tattered Cover/Twist & Shout, the Botanic Gardens, and the newly renovated art museum, we did spend tons of time with friends and family. Some of the highlights of the trip follow.

• Kaladi Bros, Kaladi Bros, and more Kaladi Bros. As STK's folks live less than five minutes from the coffee house, you can bet I made multiple stops every single day.
• Finally meeting Nancy, Michael's wife. Michael finally meeting TLO. TLO's middle name is Michael. The connection is intentional.
• Spending a ton of time with M, C, and their little one, R. If anything happens to STK and I--knock on wood--TLO will live with M & C.
• Quality family time. No major disagreements. This trip was, without a doubt, the most pleasant time I've spent with my family as an adult.
• The VNV Nation show. I will never understand why people find the "live" performance of computerized electronic music all that engaging--three songs into the show I was kicking myself for not bring a book--but it was awesome to see all our long lost friends. Totally worth the price of admission. For the record: I really like listening/dancing to VNV Nation, but I won't ever see them "live" again. It's too much like watching the lead singer do karaoke to his own album.
• TLO's birthday and Father's Day fell on the same day. For Father's Day, I went for a long 7.5 mile run and then shuffled off to--you guessed it--Kaladi Bros! By the time I returned home from Kaladi Bros, TLO's birthday brunch was set to begin. STK's family showered TLO with good food, gifts, and more attention than he could handle. We repeated the ritual later that afternoon with my folks. Birthday cake twice in one day? Heaven!
• Tattoos. STK and I made what has become our annual pilgrimage to see Jen at Mantra Tattoo. STK finally took the plunge and inked a piece she designed over the course of the last year. Stretching across the top of her back, the piece took almost three hours. My piece, a small triskele on my left wrist, took less than an hour. I'll post pics when the healing process if finishing.
  

I know I'm missing several "most excellent" moments, but those are the major highlights. We're headed back in August for another 7-10 days, I think. Here's to seeing those we missed on the most recent journey!

Bushwhacked!

Yes, it's been even longer than usual in terms of my sporadic updates. The lack of posts is not without reason, however. First, we're in the middle of a two week foray to the homeland: Colorful Colorado! Second, and this is really why I haven't been able to post for several days, is that I had a rather stupid accident roughly nine days ago.

While trimming the hedges with an electric trimmer, I somehow managed to mistake my left index finger and thumb for a piece of shrubbery. For the record, human flesh does not provide the same amount of resistance as wood. When the accident occured, I leapt out of the shrubs shouting a very loud "frak!", peered down at my mangled fingers, and shouted to STK that we should head to the Emergency Room post haste. Unfortunately, I do not do well with my own blood. I'll save all the gory details but I came extremely close to passing out while STK raced us to the hospital.

No permanent damage, but a bunch of painful stitches. I'm not sure how aesthetically pleasing my fingers will be--they were pretty torn up--but they will be fully functional.* And that's what counts. When I sat in the emergency room, not knowing the full extent of the damage, I feared some kind of long-lasting damage. I'm damn lucky I didn't lose a finger.

As we left the Emergency Room, my fingers pieced together and wrapped up in pressure bandages that looked like white dill pickes, I turned to STK and said, "If this isn't an excellent argument for hiring someone to do the hedgues, I don't know what is."

*I could finally type with no pain yesterday. Stitches will come out in a little under a week.

Revvin up the Powerful Mach 5

Anyone remember the old Speed Racer cartoon? I used to love this show!



The Wachowski brothers, of Matrix fame, are apparently making a live action version of the gig. Check out the cool photo of the Mach 5.

I'm not a huge fan of this recycle all the old movies/television shows trend we're seeing in Hollywood, but I have to admit I'm intrigued enough by this idea to give it a look see.

Go, Speed Racer! Go!

iTunage

Here's a question for all the music geeks: what's the dealio on burning copies of an album purchased from iTunes? Once I "buy" the digital copy, do I have unfettered access to making CD copies for my car? Can I burn a "regular" audio CD that will play in my car? The reason I ask is that I'm pretty tough on car CDs and it's not uncommon to trash a CD within a year or two. I'd rather buy my music via CD, but we live in a remote location and if you want anything other than pretty mainstream stuff it's mail order only. Given that theStart is putting out a new CD on Tuesday and I have no way of getting the album here in town, I thought I'd check out the iTunes thing.

UPDATE: Nevermind. I checked the iTunes Help file and found my answer. Seems like a pretty easy process and I can burn the album 7 times. What's to keep me from burning an audio disc, then taking the disc and ripping a copy on another computer? Will that copy have some kind of anti-copying protection? This is all so ridiculous to me. If I buy the album, I should be able to burn as many personal copies as I see fit. Whatever happened to the days of recording a vinyl album to cassette tape?

Conversation Realities: Nuts

Me: I've had just about enough of this behavior. You're driving me nuts!
TLO: Peanuts!
Me: No, not peanuts. Not the kind of nuts you can eat, but nuts as in insane.
TLO: Peanuts!

::STK just laughs at the entire exchange::

Worst 416 Weeks Ever

Carter, a Democrat, said on Saturday in an interview with the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette that "as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this administration has been the worst in history."

Are the Democrats paying attention to Carter? This is how you go about taking a President to task. Carter may have been a below average President, but I'd say he's achieved the "Excellent" level as a humanitarian.

UPDATE: After reflecting on this article further, I can't believe the White House is characterizing a Nobel Peace Prize winner as "increasingly irrelevant." Typical. Anybody who disagrees with or criticizes this administration is apparently irrelevant, including the majority of US American citizens.

Pitching, Peruvian Calendar, and Pop Culture Prof

Pitching. Why wouldn't major league owners, managers, and pitching coaches be all over this guy? A significant reduction in pitching injures would benefit everyone. Something doesn't align correctly.

Peruvian Calendar. More proof that we're not as advanced as we like to think. Ancient civilizations were far more advanced than we give credit. We have some fancy new gadgets with which to do the calculations, but an understanding of the science has been around for millennia. Peru, particularly Machu Picchu, is on my Must See In This Lifetime list.

Popular Culture Ambassador. I'm not sure if I'd love or hate being this popular. While it would be cool to be viewed as the expert in a given field, who the heck wouldn't go crazy from 80 phone calls a day? Yikes.

Mr. Adams, dear Mr. Adams

The new John Adams coin entered circulation today.

Guess who's going to the bank tomorrow to pick up a $25 roll?

The Case of the Suspicious File

Team teaching presents some interesting challenges. For instance, a student who is notorious for missing deadlines claims a missing paper was submitted to my colleague. Said college says the paper was never submitted. Good guy that I am, I approach the student in class and ask that another copy of the paper be sent to me via email attachment. Immediately. A day goes by and still no paper. I email said student with a friendly reminder. Nothing.* Four days after the final exam, nine days from the original request, I receive an email attachment of the paper. Typically, I'd just enter a zero in the grade book for a late paper. But, seeing that I'm team teaching and I don't know whether said colleague really received paper (and proceeded to misplace it--something that has happened with some regularity this semester) or not, I'm in something of a quandry. The stuff with my colleague aside, something doesn't feel right about the paper; I don my sleuth hat and get to work.

A quick check of the paper's electronic "Properties" reveals potential evidence of chicanery. According to the "Properties" of the file, the paper was created yesterday and edit time was roughly two hours. The elapsed editing time from moment of creation to moment of last modification and emailing to me matches up perfectly. I suspect this paper was written the day it was emailed to me.

Do I enter the zero, accept the paper as late and dock it points, or simply accept the paper as legit and grade accordingly? I'm almost positive this thing was written yesterday, but I suppose I could be wrong. If the student wrote the paper in another format and converted the file all the "Properties" data would change. Still, the edit time would apply to the newly created/converted file, right?

With the exception of this remaining file, all my grading is complete. I'm waiting to here from another colleague with whom I team taught--not the one from the above narrative--to make sure we're in agreement on final grades. I'm essentially finished one day ahead of schedule. w00t!

*This is atypical behavior for me. I believe students are adults and should be treated as such. Don't heed my call for another copy? Fine. Natural consequences = zero.

Fragments

I'm scattered every which way for the next few days. This post reflects that state of mind.

Another semester should be in the books by no later than Friday. Two sections of final exams graded--one left tomorrow AM. For any number of reasons this has been a semester to put behind me. Starting in the fall, I focus all my attention on teaching classes in my area of specialization.

A colleague defined me as little more than a novelty yesterday afternoon. I'm the new guy on campus, according to this particular prof, and my current popular status will soon wane. In five years, when my classes are still drawing students at the same rate, I plan on serving a big ol' platter of crow.

I unleashed the rhetorical black boot on a neighbor two days ago. While walking the dog, our neighbor's yellow lab came flying out the garage, down the driveway, into the street, went straight for Dargo*, and landed a couple substantial bites. I immediately went at the lab and managed to back him down. By that time, the neighbor ran out of the house and grabbed the dog. My response: "Jesus Christ! Get your dog on a goddamn leash. Fucking A!" Neighbor: "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry."

*Dargo is chocolate lab/Chesapeake retriever mix that we adopted in February. I haven't blogged about him because, quite frankly, we didn't know whether he would remain a member of our household. He was easy enough to house train, but he's a real pistol when it comes to confinement. We tried crate training and he ripped the metal door right off the crate. We finally figured out how to barricade him in the kitchen without too much trouble. If we leave anything within his reach--a newspaper, a paper bag, a plastic water jug--it's destroyed when we return home. When we're at home, not a problem. Go figure. Anyway, we've decided we'll work out any remaining problems over time. He's great with G and that's the most important thing.

Tiger, You Just Hit the Jackpot . . .

And then some.



I absolutely love comic books but this kind of blatant sexism drives me up a frelling wall. Seriously. Shall we count the problems with this maquette?

1. Objectification. MJ has always been sexually objectified but this takes the cake. Check out those low ride jeans! If they were any lower on MJ's hips we'd have intimate knowledge of her shaving habits. Do I even need to make a comment about the thong? She has enough cleavage to set off Peter's spider-sense. Those things would be a real danger when Peter and MJ . . . Do I need to spell it out?

2. Trivialization. Good to know that a strong character like MJ knows her place: in the laundry room. Way to wash out those Spider-tights. Did you catch the June Cleaver pearls around her neck. Torn hip huggers and pearls? Who comes up with this crap?

3. Dehumanization. That pose suggests doing something and it ain't laundry. For all you minors out there, that's what we call a porno pose. Is MJ starring in adult films, now? There's nothing human about MJ--she's a sex toy.

I could go on and on and on but others have been doing so for days. Suffice it to say that when I see something like this, I give some real thought to whether or not this is an industry I wish to support with my money.

Weekly Reader: Cubs, Commander Guy, and Cool Looking Phones

Cubs. Watch out! The Chicago Cubs are above .500 and ready to pounce on their National League Central rivals the Milwaukee Brewers. Of course, the Cubs will probably lose the next five straight just to make my life miserable. Still, the five game winning streak has been a nice salve to the nasty wound I received from the Nuggets. Freakin' team. I hate how they break my heart every. damn. year. Give me the summer to recuperate and I'll be praising Kenyon Martin's return as the move that will vault the Nuggets into true contender status. I'm such a sucker.

Commander Guy. Decider guy. Commander guy. I have no clue guy. I've been trying to avoid the realm of politics and the Iraq war these days. My son, A, heads for his tour of duty in late July and every time I read a report about casualties, I wince a little. Whenever I think about Commander Guy running the show . . . man, I don't know what to think. Fuck war. What a stupid way to solve problems.

Cool Looking Phones. A phone as a fashion accessory, eh? I am so behind the times. I use my cell phone to make myself available to TLO's daycare and STK, not to look cool. I can't take pictures, surf the web, or any of that fancy stuff. I have to admit, though, that when I flip my phone open I sometimes make the Star Trek communicator sound in my head and have an overwhelming urge to say, "Stevens to Valiant. One to beam up."

What does it Mean?

Yesterday, while TLO and I were taking our morning nap, I had a weird dream. The fact that I even remembered a dream is weird enough--I rarely remember my dreams--but the content made absolutely no sense.

The dream took place in our present abode. As TLO and I walked up the stairs to the second floor, Gene leaned over the rail and said, "hello." He was holding a cheap bakery cake (chocolate, white frosting, chocolate sprinkles sitting on a black plastic plate and covered with a clear plastic shield) in one hand and a black stealth cell phone in the other. The cell phone looked like it was made out of the material from a stealth fighter, complete with all the non-right angles.

And that was the dream. I'm still scratching my head over that one.

Avalanche!

Ever have a week or two where everything comes crashing down at once? Not in a bad way, but just so much going on that you feel like you absolutely cannot get caught up in any facet of your life? That's me. It started last week with Episode III: Revenge of TLO's Pneumonia--he stayed sick for the better part of a week. STK and I scrambled to make work arrangements that minimized our absence from the classroom. Thankfully, I'm team teaching two classes this semester and only had to cancel one class despite the fact that I was home with TLO for two full days.

With classes wrapping up a week from Thursday, I'm swamped at school. The moment I finish grading papers, another wave comes crashing into my office. 50 papers and 16 speeches will need grading this weekend. Yippee! Time to earn my pay, I suppose. With the exception of midterm, the rest of the semester is very manageable. Four weeks of craziness and eleven weeks of manageable. Not all that bad. If everything goes as planned, I should be finished with final grades and all by Friday, May 18.

Back to the grading!

Before I forget, Happy Beltane!

WTF Department: Drive Cancelled?

While cruising my normal popular culture websites, I ran into a disturbing article: the lovely dolts at Fox have given Drive the ax after what amounts to four episodes. Let me repeat that: four episodes. Another halfway smart and engaging television series thrown on the scrap heap before it can gain any momentum. What is wrong with people? How is it that crap like American Idol and Dancing with the Has Beens can pull in the ratings and anything that's remotely interesting can't? Seriously, I'm not that out of touch with the rest of our culture, but I just can't figure out the viewing tastes, or lack thereof, of the US American audience. I think I'll quit trying to watch shows on a first run basis and do everything via Netflix. It's not even worth my time to try and support anything new on the major networks.

UPDATE: Found the following while perusing the Talk Back at Ain't it Cool News. Read 'em. Memorize 'em. chromedome speaks nothing but the truth.

1) Fox doesn't care about you

2) Fox will screw you over every chance they get

3) Never EVER pay attention to a new Fox show until it is well into its second season

4) Watch other networks at every opportunity

5) Support Sponsors of Shows that are given a fair shot (these will NOT be on Fox)

6) Post your concerns on Message Boards, sign petitions for your own venting, but see rule 1 above

7) Minear should read these rules. ANYONE ELSE BUT FOX, TIM!!*

*Minear, the man behind Drive, was also involved with Angel and Wonderfalls. If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know how much I've enjoyed all his projects. Sorry, Tim.

Freeze Meister

A student emailed and asked for an extension on a paper. A friend from high school died and the student was rather shocked to hear the news. No travel to a funeral or anything, but not able to do any work. I rejected the request for an extension. Am I being cold and callous or are there times in our lives when we need to deal with tragedy and continue on with our day to day affairs?