Weekly Reader: Bongs, Burrows, and Badmouthers

Bong Hits 4 Jesus. I know a lot of people find this sign offensive, but can you really ban a kid from a bit of tomfoolery? Read the transcript carefully: he wasn't even on school property at the time. Even if you're not interested in the case, you should read the account of the exchange. The Supreme Court judges were in rare form. Very amusing.

Burrowing Dinosaurs. 39 years old and I'm still fascinated by dinosaurs.

Online Anonymity = Badmouthing Brouhaha. Is this really a surprise to anyone? As I've said frequently: everyone's brave on the internet. The flip side of this is that it's really easy to ignore the idiots online. That's not always so easy in face to face situations.

Drawing Shots

Schultz also insisted Wednesday that Starbucks will not back down from its growth plan, which calls for eventually having 40,000 stores worldwide, up from around 14,000 today.
And not a single one in our little neck of the Midwest. We have a locally owned coffee house where the goods are above average, as are the prices, but the service is exceptionally slow. Part of the problem is their equipment--they can't draw several shots of espresso at the same time.

What the owners really need to do is invest in some new equipment and send all staff off to a formal Barista seminar. I'd love to attend one of these weekend sessions. I know a bit about coffee but it's all self taught. A little formal training would put me in that special category of connoisseur, right? Can you imagine sipping and sniffing coffee drinks all weekend? Pure heaven.

Life Update

It's been some time since I actually did any kind of life update post. If you're not into that kind of thing, move along. If so, read on.

*I spent all of last week spring breaking. I used to spend spring break down at Hohokam park watching the Cubs in spring training. This spring break consisted of hanging with TLO and spending a couple hours each day in my office. Not quite as exciting ("exciting" translates to: shitfaced for a week), but much more relaxing. Most of my office time consisted of working on the much discussed Battlestar Galactica article. The piece got rejected--AGAIN--as part of an edited collection. Maybe I'm not articulating the basic argument well enough? Regardless, I've decided to write the whole damn piece and start the journal process. While I don't have the time for a marathon writing session, I'm trying to spend an hour a day putting all relevant ideas/quotes into outline form. Once the extensive outline is complete, I'll find some time to crank out the formal piece. The last week of May looks promising. Tentative deadline: June 1.

*STK and I took a few minutes out of our monthly shopping spree to gaze longingly at the 2007 Honda Civic. My old Civic has almost 170,000 miles on it; sooner or later, we'll need a new commuter car for STK. She puts 100 miles a day on the car and we want something that's comfortable, safe, and fuel conscious. The new Civic is all of those things. We glanced at a couple used models but decided that saving a couple thousand bucks over the life of a loan isn't worth the risk (not knowing the maintenance schedule of the vehicle, the already piling up mileage, etc.). We'd love to go with the hybrid but can't justify the additional $8000. Maybe the next time we're in the market for new wheels. We're targeting late this summer as the "buy" date.

*STK and I both received significant raises for next year (that's in addition to our usual step advancement for each year), hence the new car talk. Hard work does pay off. Eventually, it does pay off. Graduate degrees certainly don't hurt the situation either.

*I'm running outdoors, with the permission of my physical therapist, in the gorgeous 70 degree weather. Can't get enough of this beautiful weather. We opened all the windows in the house this morning and gave the place the first good airing out of the spring.

*The ankle continues to hurt. Not as bad as way back when, but it's still an annoyance. After a brief consult with PT, I'm going to continue increasing mileage/time over the next few weeks and see what happens. I'm up to 30 minutes every other day. If the pain continues, custom orthotics and acupuncture are on the horizon. If those treatments--coupled with my "there is no pain" mind over matter meditations--fail, surgery is next.

*We had dinner tonight with a young couple here in town who just had a baby. This is significant for two reasons. First, we don't hang with that many people who have infants and careers. It’s nice to have a place that’s TLO friendly. Second, since moving to SMC we haven’t really made any friends and we miss that part of our lives in Colorado. Dr. OneDink and J are awesome--we spent time with them on Saturday--but we have no idea if they’ll be here beyond the 2007-2008 school year. So, cool kid friendly dinner with a main course of newborn baby stories and a side dish of school talk.

*STK faces her busiest week of the school year. Between conferences, a special art program, and art show, she’ll be getting home late three nights this week. TLO and I on our own! Bring on the ice cream and chocolate for dinner!

We now return to our periodic posting.

Friday's Feast

Friday's Feast, One Hundred & Thirty Six

Appetizer--Who is your favorite news anchor/reporter? Why?
Stephen Colbert, hands down.

Soup--Name 3 foods that are currently in your freezer.
Kaladi Coffee, Boca Burgers, Edamame

Salad--If you were to have the opportunity to name a new town or city, what would you call it?
Capadieu, a nod to the recent passing of Steve Rogers.

Main Course--What will most likely be the next book you read?
I have a whole list of books on my "To Read" list. One of the following three will be the next book I tackle.

1. John Quincy Adams' Lectures on Rhetoric and Oratory. This is the book I'm reading presently. I'll hit the second volume sometime in the next couple weeks.

2. Binding Words

3. Star Wars: Exile

Dessert--What's the first thing you notice about the opposite gender?
I'd have to say an alternative appearance (dyed hair, tattoos, piercings, etc.). When I first saw STK, the thing that caught my attention was the platinum blonde hair contrasted with her black apparel.

Instant Irony

Anyone who spends even a bit of time with me will soon realize that I love camouflage . . . as a fashion print. I'm a peace activist so I don't have much use for the military or sport applications of the pattern. I just like the way it looks. I have a traditional camouflage jacket ($10 army surplus), several pairs of camouflage pants (urban, ultraviolet, blue tiger), and a couple camouflage bandannas. When I tuck my camouflage BDUs in my doc martens, which is not an uncommon look for me when I'm away from school, I'd like to think I'm making some kind of statement against military action. There's a bit of irony in a pacifist sporting military fashion, don't you think?

Anyway, I'd love to see the Camouflage exhibit showing at the Imperial War Museum, London. I think I need a pair of those camouflage Doc Martens. I wonder if they come in steel toe?

Is it weird that I'm fascinated by the history of modern warfare? I could watch documentaries on WWI & WWII all day. I'm particularly interested in WWII, the last conflict for which I think I could make a reasonable case for military action. Although I should add that I believe WWII could have been avoided had Hitler encountered fierce diplomatic resistance.

Weekly Reader: Coins, Cap, and Cassini

Scrap the Greenback. Why haven't folks here in the US taken to $1 coins? I think I'll buy some of these and start using them. While I rarely carry cash--I'm a debit card junky--I can certainly do my part and buy the odd cup of java with a golden John Adams. Check out how "In God we Trust" and the year are stamped on the edge of the coin. Cool.

RIP Captain America. I've been ranting about this move by Marvel for a couple weeks now. I like this author's take, though. In essence, he argues that the symbol of Captain America no longer accurately represents the ideals of our nation. Steve Rogers represents truth and justice, two values that are in short supply when it comes to US American politics. There might be a convention paper in this argument.

Surf's Up . . . On Titan! Have I ever mentioned how much I love to read about space exploration? The probability of methane/ethane lakes on Titan increases with some of the latest radar imagery. What the heck would a methane/ethane lake look like or feel like? It's mind boggling that we can discover this kind of stuff from a distance of 800,000,000 miles.

Tuck

More rants about women and comic book art. This time, the cover dissected features Black Canary, Power Girl, and the most ridiculous costume in comics. Did someone sit around one day and suddenly exclaim, "I know, I'll give Power Girl a boob window! I'm so freaking brilliant" ::draws like a sex deprived fanboy because that's the only person who could think up something that ridiculous::

Comment of the day:

Of course, I always wonder why comic book hero males will have huge muscles, inhuman proportions in all areas but one... why do we have no "baskets" on the men? I mean, for any of these poor guys to mate they'd have to be able to protrude beyond their thigh and abdominal muscles... yet it seems all superhero males wear dance belts and tuck.

Electrofying!

Normally, I make most of my comic book related commentary over at Army of Dorkness. I couldn't pass up this little gem for my personal blog--it's just too damn funny (and serious, at the same time). In an upcoming DC comics storyline Mary Marvel. the twin sister of Captain Marvel (Shazam), gets seduced to the dark side--Eclipso is supposedly involved. Anyway, cover art for her turn to the dark side has hit the intertubes:



The traditional, modest costume is out! The could-it-be-any-shorter skirt, combined with what appears to be curve hugging latex, is in. Thank goodness for that latex, though, as it might insulate her breasts enough to avoid any kind of serious electrical burn. The image kicked off a number of discussions on various comic related blogs. If you check out the links, make sure you read the comments.

Seriously, why is it that when a male character gets turned to the dark side, goes all evil, or just plain nuts, he goes about trying to destroy the world. When a female character turns to the dark side, goes all evil, or just plain nuts, she goes about getting all sexy. And then, when she tires of all the boy toys, decides to see if she can destroy the world. It's like evil just unleashes the inner nympho hiding deep inside every woman.

One of the posters at one diverse comic book nation had the comment of the day:

#19. Sleestak | March 18th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Comic books needs more smexy art of wimmin getting hit in the rack by lightnings.

Excellent post. Excellent pop culturey name, too. Loved those sleestaks when I was a kid.

If you can't tell, this is one of the things about comics that really irks me. I love comic books but can't stand the way most women are drawn or characterized. Can you imagine Superman, Batman, or Green Lantern wearing a banana hammock?

Frustration

Cortizone, two months of rest, a full month of rehab, a new pair of motion control shoes, and I finally returned to running a couple weeks back. I started with 20 minutes every other day and, following the ten percent increase rule, went to a whopping 22 minutes this week. According to the plan, I increase to 25 minutes tomorrow. Except for one problem: the pain is back, almost to previous levels. Drat.

I'll give my podiatrist and physical therapist a call tomorrow. X-ray and MRI show no evidence of serious damage; the ankle is structurally sound, but I have a severe overpronation problem that puts wicked stress on the joint, in general, and the post-tibial tendon, more specifically. I also have a very small bone spur, small enough that the podiatrist doesn't think it's causing any of the problem. The dilemma: do I continue to follow through with a more conservative treatment (more PT, custom orthotics, etc.) or should I bite the bullet and go for a more aggressive diagnosis/treatment (arthroscopic surgery)? The conservative route may, or may not, put an end to my trouble. Ankle arthroscopy would allow the podiatrist to clean out the joint, remove as many "floaters" as possible (all joints have small amounts of bone, tendon, ligament floating around and if these floaters work themselves into a sensitive area you wind up with ankle pain), and take a closer look at the interior workings of my ankle. The conservative therapies could be pursued during my recovery, obviously. So, do I take it slow and see what happens or take the leap and submit to the knife? I should also note that the surgical solution does not guarantee a cessation of pain.

If I'm reading their respective tones correctly, my podiatrist thinks we should go in there, clean out the joint, and get into recovery phase; my physical therapist thinks we should pursue all non-invasive avenues before resorting to surgery. Either way, I'm not getting back into the regular running groove anytime soon.

I cannot begin to express how frustrating this entire situation has become. Running is a meditative practice for me and is an integral dimension of my sobriety and general mental wellbeing. Swimming, biking, elliptical machining don't produce the same meditative space. They're all good exercise alternatives but they don't do the same thing in terms of mental wellness.

I keep reminding myself that even this kind of suffering is temporary, that there is a solution out there somewhere.

Suffering is Temporary

All the faults of our mind – our selfishness, ignorance, anger, attachment, guilt, and other disturbing thoughts – are temporary, not permanent and everlasting. And since the cause of our suffering – our disturbing thoughts and obscurations – is temporary, our suffering is also temporary.

-Lama Zopa Rinpoche, "Ultimate Healing."

Why is this so difficult to remember? In AA, there's a saying that's very similar: "Our problems, we find, are of our own making." Now, that's not to say there aren't moments when people wrong us (although I'd argue most of those wrongs are unintentional), but the way we respond to those wrongs is absolutely our responsibility. I can be pissed because someone cut me off in traffic (not that I have to worry about traffic in our town), that a student wrote a snide remark on a paper (How dare you not take me seriously! Don't you know who I am?), or that I didn't get invited to the latest gathering of the young hipsters (They think they're cooler and hipper than me?! Wait, I wouldn't attend anyway. I don't drink and don't enjoy socializing with the buzzed and beautiful). Or, I can choose to let all of that stuff go. It's the way I interpret and react to these events that's the problem, not the events (or people) themselves.

Odd that I should feel motivated to write about this today--there's really nothing irritating me at the moment.

39

Slept late, cleaned bathrooms, did a little school work, took a nap, took a walk with STK & TLO, watched the Nuggets win a game going away, had a nice dinner with friends, and ate copious amounts of dark chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting. Oh, and plenty of ice cream. Not bad for a birthday, I'd say. A low key affair surrounded by the people I care about most. That's the way I like 'em.


For the record, I still feel like I'm 29 (and I think I act 19 now and again).

Children's Literature

I had a friend, who also happens to be a parent, send me the following via email. Twisted, but good. I've actually mumbled #s 9 & 25 under my breath.*

Little Golden Children's Books That Never Made It

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
6. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
7. All Cats Go to Hell
8. Some Kittens Can Fly
9. That's It, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
10. Grandpa Gets a Casket
11. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
12. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
13. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
14. Strangers Have the Best Candy
15. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
16. You Were an Accident
17. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
18. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
19. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
20. Your Nightmares Are Real
21. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
22. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
23. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
24. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
25. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

*Okay, I mumbled a modified version of #25: "Kid, your crying is going to drive me to drink. That's bad. Very bad. Trust me on this."

The Feast

Friday Feast: One Hundred & Thirty Three

Appetizer--What does the color pink make you think of?
Hmmmm . . . Legally Blonde? A cute, underappreciated movie.

Soup--Name something you thought you had lost, but later found.
Sanity. Seriously. Circa 2002.

Salad--In 3 words, describe this past week.
Snowy. Good reading.

Main Course--What are you obsessed with?
Coffee, Star Wars, Iron Man, Green Lantern, Six Feet Under, blog reading, email checking, STK, running (when healthy).

Dessert--What kind of perfume or cologne do you like to wear?
Fahrenheit, Bulgari, Lolita Lempicka, Silver, Sensual Amber

Will the Real Gwen Please Stand Up

A sign that there may be a divine presence in the universe?

Gwen Confirms New No Doubt Album

::pulls out bullhorn::
Gwen Stefani, please step away from the solo career. I repeat, please step away from the solo career. Drop the divaness, return to your band mates, and produce another album of skapoprock goodness. You've done enough damage.

Boba Yawn?

Please tell me Lucas can up with something better than Young Boba Fett for the new Star Wars live action show. Am I the only Star Wars fan who finds the whole bounty hunter thing boring? Seriously, what's the attraction to Boba Fett? The guy appears in what, 15 minutes of the original trilogy?*

I think my anthology idea is way better than what I fear will be Bounty Hunter Fest 2009. The series will reportedly run 100 episodes spanning Episodes III & IV. If I were putting together this series, I do something like this. The series starts out with a Jedi on the run from the Imperials, follows her around for a couple episodes, and, when her story concludes (she dies, goes underground, whatever), the story refocuses on another character who had some sort interaction with the Jedi. The interaction may have been significant (helping the Jedi while on the run) or maybe not (a character simply walking by as the Jedi renounces the Order and fades into the masses of a crowded space port). A few episodes later, another shift occurs. Perhaps another arc could follow the life of a particular clone, er, stormtrooper. I'm even be up for a Young Boba Fett arc (please keep it short). The idea is that the story is continuing, shifting, and evolving. At some time or another, maybe a couple of the characters featured in earlier arcs cross paths again. In the end, the series would be comprised of a series of three, five, ten episode story arcs. Heck, a one episode stand alone would even work.

I should so be in on the development of this new series.

*Jango Fett, BTW, is way cooler than Boba Fett.

Speak Up

*Since Thursday, I've been unable to hear much of anything out of my left ear. Oh, I get the Charlie Brown "mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah" but not much else. The reason? Ear infection. Can you believe it? We finally get TLO's ear infections under control and I come down with one. The pain, which subsided with the use of antibiotics, surprised me. Hammer. Nail. Eardrum. Ow. Friday evening, I was on the verge of tears despite 800 mg of ibuprofen and a heating pad. Thankfully, the pain has dropped to the point of being tolerable. I still get a bit of an ache a couple times a day, but nothing like Friday. Doc says my hearing should clear within a couple of weeks. A couple of freaking weeks? It's not like I need to listen to my students or anything.

*Plenty of snow here in the corn freezer. A thundersnowstorm rolled through Friday night--lots of lightning, thunder, and snow--and started three continuous days of snow. All told, we received 13 inches of snow and a 1/ 4 inch of ice. Boy, did that make for some great shoveling. Four hours later, I finally completed the task. Guess what's supposed to roll into town tomorrow? Another day of "wintry mix", followed by two days of snow. Wintry mix seems to be the Midwest euphemism for ice storm. Wintry mix my ass. "Wintry mess" is more like it.

*Hmmm . . . I've reported on my health and the weather. What does that say about my life? I kind of feel like my blog has become almost as boring and mundane as my life. I'm in a routine--that's not such a bad thing for me--and there seriously isn't all that much going on that's worth writing about. Oh, I know a couple of my academic friends who would respond with something like, "The everyday mundane is just as magical as any other moment in our lives." Yeah, sure. I've considered taking the blog in a more academic direction, but I'm not sure I have the time to do that kind of writing (which is agonizingly slow for me). I'm home with TLO in the mornings, at school in the afternoons, spend a handful of hours with TLO and STK, and I'm back doing school prep/grading from 10-12. As it looks like I'll be getting another significant raise this year, STK and I have talked about increasing TLO's daycare hours a bit next year. I really would like another hour or two a day to focus on school. Trying to do any work when I'm at home with TLO is absolutely futile. I can read email and that's about it.

Give Her a Break.

As much as I rip on Hollywoodland and our collective obsession with stars (and the fact that we consider anything involving a star "news"), I've been watching the Britney Spears fiasco with a great deal of interest. And sympathy, believe it or not. Clearly, this is a young woman who is having no end of difficulties. She's made some really bad decisions the last couple years of her young life. Those bad decisions, I suspect, were compounded by substance abuse.

I know that it's become fashionable in the fantasy world that is LA to check oneself in to rehab whenever a public relations makeover is needed (see Mel Gibson, Lindsay Lohan*, etc.), but I can't help but think rehab is the right move in this case. Spears' behavior has become increasingly irrational and self-destructive in the last few months. I don't care what people think of her, she's not stupid or she wouldn't have achieved her present level of success. She knows how to behave in the public eye. The recent gaffs suggest something is getting in the way of that knowledge. Nothing screws up the decision making portion of the brain like a few mind altering substances. According the most recent of reports, Spears has entered rehab for the third time in four days. As someone who entered recovery at 25--Spears is 24--I hope she sticks it out this time. I really do.

So, let's give her a break. Give her the opportunity to get herself straightened out, or at least dried out, and see what she does. I can't even begin to imagine what it would have been like trying to get clean and sober with every reporter on the planet trying to get the "scoop." It's hard enough getting sober without that kind of scrutiny.

Britney, if you happen to stumble across my blog, here's my first piece of sober wisdom: If you don't drink or drug, you don't get drunk or high.

*In the spirit of fairness, I did read that Lohan is taking rehab seriously and has almost completed a thirty day program. Bravo! Don't forget to continue meetings when you get out. Nothing keeps you sober like watching the miserable who are still practicing. Note that I have my eye on the mess that is your life. Seriously, it's that simple. And that difficult.

McCain Goes Out on a Limb!

Rumsfeld was one of the worst.

Wow. Now there's a revelation.

If you haven't already, you should check out McCain's campaign website. Interesting color scheme. Is it just me or does the site invite the viewer to think Vietnam POW?

What's with the Trumpesque pink tie?

Curriculum Change II: Buddhist Perspective?

A monk asked, “The mountains, the rivers, and the great earth-from where did all of these things come forth?”

Tiantai said, “From where did this question come forth?”

-Zen’s Chinese Heritage

Revise the Curriculum

For several years now, many public schools have been asked to expand the biology curriculum to include intelligent design as a possible alternative to the theory of evolution. Up until today, I've been hesitant to acknowledge the possible legitimacy of intelligent design. In fact, I've been downright intolerant toward those who advocate intelligent design. Well, I've decided to do something I don't do very often: admit I'm wrong. I'm wrong. Intelligent design should be included in the biology curriculum of public schools. In fact, I'll pledge to be an advocate of intelligent design . . . provided intelligent designers agree to advocate the new curriculum I'd like to add to public school biology.

Intelligent Alien Design.

Evolution is simply a theory and I just can't get behind the idea of an omniscient presence guiding the development of life. What I can get behind, however, is the idea that we're all part of some cosmic Johnny Appleseed action. The Earth is part of an extraterrestrial science experiment, an attempt to spread diverse lifeforms throughout the galaxy.

Let's fire up those Evolution is Only a Theory campaigns and present our local school boards with the truth: Intelligent Alien Design.