Cortizone, two months of rest, a full month of rehab, a new pair of motion control shoes, and I finally returned to running a couple weeks back. I started with 20 minutes every other day and, following the ten percent increase rule, went to a whopping 22 minutes this week. According to the plan, I increase to 25 minutes tomorrow. Except for one problem: the pain is back, almost to previous levels. Drat.
I'll give my podiatrist and physical therapist a call tomorrow. X-ray and MRI show no evidence of serious damage; the ankle is structurally sound, but I have a severe overpronation problem that puts wicked stress on the joint, in general, and the post-tibial tendon, more specifically. I also have a very small bone spur, small enough that the podiatrist doesn't think it's causing any of the problem. The dilemma: do I continue to follow through with a more conservative treatment (more PT, custom orthotics, etc.) or should I bite the bullet and go for a more aggressive diagnosis/treatment (arthroscopic surgery)? The conservative route may, or may not, put an end to my trouble. Ankle arthroscopy would allow the podiatrist to clean out the joint, remove as many "floaters" as possible (all joints have small amounts of bone, tendon, ligament floating around and if these floaters work themselves into a sensitive area you wind up with ankle pain), and take a closer look at the interior workings of my ankle. The conservative therapies could be pursued during my recovery, obviously. So, do I take it slow and see what happens or take the leap and submit to the knife? I should also note that the surgical solution does not guarantee a cessation of pain.
If I'm reading their respective tones correctly, my podiatrist thinks we should go in there, clean out the joint, and get into recovery phase; my physical therapist thinks we should pursue all non-invasive avenues before resorting to surgery. Either way, I'm not getting back into the regular running groove anytime soon.
I cannot begin to express how frustrating this entire situation has become. Running is a meditative practice for me and is an integral dimension of my sobriety and general mental wellbeing. Swimming, biking, elliptical machining don't produce the same meditative space. They're all good exercise alternatives but they don't do the same thing in terms of mental wellness.
I keep reminding myself that even this kind of suffering is temporary, that there is a solution out there somewhere.
6 comments:
I'm sorry you're in pain and frustrated. :(
I worry though - what if running becomes not an option? It is terrible to consider the loss of something central to one's identity, but sometimes it's just what happens... :(
I hope there's a solution for you.
Thanks, Sheila. Well, if running becomes not an option, it will be time for a bit of an identity shift. It's not like I've gone through a major identity refit or anything ;) I'm hoping it won't come to that, but that is a possibility.
Exercise will always be part of my daily life, but I may have to change my routines. I wish I hadn't spent years and years running on concrete bike paths and sidewalks. Had I paid more attention to reducing impact earlier in my running career(shoes and surfaces), I suspect I wouldn't have these problems today.
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I had ankle surgery about 9 years ago to take out floaters--two large calcium deposits on the right ankle and what my orthopedist called "the biggest bone spur I've ever seen" on my left. It helped a lot. But it involved 3-4 weeks of crutches and 'the boot' for each ankle, followed by another 2-3 of PT after that for each. I hope your route to recovery isn't that complicated.
And by all means, don't get a second ankle done until the first one is TOTALLY healed.
Michael, is that the voice of experience?
Derek, I know what it is to identity shift because of unexpected ailments.....I hope you can find something that will allow you a similar meditative time with less impact on your ankles.
Screw it. I'm going to wrap it, acupuncture it, maybe try orthotics, and run on it.
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