Holding Pattern

No winners in the first, and probably only, Rhetorical Imprints delivery pool. My mind is in one of those places where I do not do well--patience. I'm not great with situations that are essentially out of my control. Unfortunately, almost everything in my life is presently out of my hands: waiting for people to visit, and buy, our condo, waiting for TLO to arrive, and waiting to set an actual date for our actual move.

Most people think I go through life flying by the seat of my pants. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm most comfortable with rigid routine, provided I'm the one who devised and implemented the routine. For instance, I go through a very set ritual when getting ready for work. From the time I get up until the time I get in my car (55 minutes, give or take a minute), I engage in a precise ritual. The shower consists of hair washing, conditioning, body lathering, and face washing. It's always in that order. Emerging from the shower I put in my contacts, brush my teeth, take allergy medication, moisterize face/eyes, apply deodorant/powder. Walking across the hall I put on an undershirt, boxer briefs, socks, and pants (in that order). Partially clothed, I go to the kitchen and: start coffee, feed cats, let dogs out to pee, feed dogs, pour cup of coffee, return to office to continue dressing. With cup of coffee in hand, I stop by my closet and put on my belt, shirt-of-the-day, and pick out my shoes. I quickly put keys, gum, wallet, lip balm in my pockets, sit down at the computer and read the news/drink coffee/put on shoes. At exactly 6:30 AM I take the dogs out for the morning poop. Returning upstairs, I give Clay his medication, both dogs get a treat, and I stop at the kitchen sink to wash my hands. I fill my travel mug with coffee and place a bagel next to the mug. Travel goods ready to go, I make a quick stop at my bathroom to spritz on a bit of cologne, as well as coconut-lime-verbena hand lotion. Nothing says "sharp dressed man" like pleasant smells and soft hands. I return to the bedroom, kiss STK, and head for the car; my school backpack has been packed the night before and is sitting next to the front door. If anything waivers in this routine, I get rattled. Thankfully, that only happens about once every three weeks.

Similar rituals permeate my life. I follow a strict before & after class routine at school, I eat lunch at exactly the same time everyday (and have a very set menu: power bar or yogurt, piece of fruit, granola bar/dry cereal, piece of candy or two. I haven't varied from this lunch in years), and workout at least five days a week (at the same time, of course). My workout alternates between two consistent routines. I either do stretching/weight lifting/cardio (identical stretching and weight routines every. single. time) or stretching/cardio (identical stretching and cardio distance every. single. time). I could probably list another half dozen or so rituals, but I'm starting to feel a bit obsessive compulsive.

As one might imagine, the uncertainty of real estate matters, TLO's arrival, and our upcoming move has me a little disconcerted. I have absolutely no control over when the condo will sell, when TLO will get here, or when we'll actually be able to move (we kind of need to be here for the condo closing--provided it sells in a timely fashion, which is another stress altogether). Despite all the things that are out of my control, I'm not going completely crazy. I allow myself about a 1/2 hour of AAAARRRGGGHHHHHH time each day, then take a few breaths and remind myself that life happens in its own time and on its own terms. If I do the work I can, then step out of the way, everything will work out.

Calming, smiling. Present moment, wonderful moment.