Smorgasbord

The in-laws arrived today and they were bearings gifts. As long as they continue to bribe me with two pounds of Kaladi Coffee every time they enter our domicile, they can visit as often as they'd like. My cup runneth over with an El Salvador roast. Delicious. I'm a pushover for superior coffee. Sue me. STK and TLO will spend the next several days entertaining the 'rents. I have to work, of course. Still, STK and I will finally be able to workout together in the afternoons. In the pre-TLO years, we routinely visited the rec center together. When TLO entered the picture, we started working out at different times. Oh, we left him alone a couple of times but felt horribly guilty doing so. Kidding! Kidding!

School continues to go well. The first round of grading begins tomorrow. I'll have to grade 55 papers over the course of the next couple weeks ::stifles laughter:: Fifty-five papers sure beats the hell out of 230. Bring it on!

In other academic news, I'm reading The Dao of Rhetoric, a book that offers an Eastern perspective on the art of rhetoric. Even though I love the source material and respect the author for his new approach to rhetorical studies, I'm finding the book a bit simplistic. Combs, the author, scratches the surface regarding some intriguing ideas but just doesn't take his analysis far enough. I'm all about clarity and economy, but this guy takes these concepts to a new level. At a third of the way through, I'm hoping he digs deeper further along in the text. We shall see. Once I finish Dao, Nation of Rebels: Why Counterculture Became Consumer Culture is next in the cue.

I've also been invited to participate in an academic reading group. SMC is a liberal arts college. That means we, the faculty, don't have the opportunity to interact with graduate students. That's not entirely a negative thing--maybe I'll dissert on that at a later date. That said, several of us from Philosophy, Religious Studies, and Communication Studies decided to get together and do some reading/discussing on our own. Our first book is Butler's Precarious Life: The Powers of Mourning and Violence. We're meeting once a month so the actual reading shouldn't be the frenzied, I-have-too-many-chapters-and-not-enough-time style of reading we all mastered in graduate school.

I understand Bush nominated a crony for the Supreme Court seat vacated my Sandra Day O'conor. Honestly, I can't even get myself excited about reading up on the pick. If I spend time reading up on her I'm sure I'll work myself into a frenzy over something over which I have absolutely have no power. I'll read up on her, discover she represents everything I despise about Bush and his administration, and go to bed wondering if there are any academic openings in Canada. The only solution is to avoid the political brouhaha for the next few weeks. I'll have to settle for reading Harriet Mier's blog.

Infinity of Space

Empty and calm and devoid of self
Is the nature of all things.
No individual being
In reality exists.

There is no end or beginning,
Nor any middle course.
All is an illusion,
As in a vision or a dream.

All beings in the world
Are beyond the realm of words.
Their ultimate nature, pure and true,
Is like the infinity of space.

-Prajnaparamita

From "The Pocket Buddha Reader," edited by Anne Bancroft, 2001.

Holy Frak: Feast 64

The Feast, Friday, September 30

Appetizer--When was the last time you visited a hospital?
June 19, two days after TLO joined the world. I've been to a clinic a couple times since, but that's not really a hospital.

Soup--On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how ambitious are you?
6.

Salad--Make a sentence using the letters of a body part. (Example: (mouth) My other ukelele tings healthily.)
Every lark breakfasts on worms.

Main Course--If you were to start a club, what would the subject matter be, and what would you name it?
I'd probably start a local Star Wars club. There just aren't enough Star Wars geeks around here (that I know of). The name of the club would be SWAG (Star Wars: Unabashedly Geeky).

Dessert--What color is the carpet/flooring in your home?
Hardwood and linoleum. We have numerous bamboo rugs placed throughout the place, too.

Unintended Consequences

It seems my Millemium Salmon answer to Friday's Feast tickled a few fancies. To be perfectly honest, that was a toss away answer. When I read the question, I had absolutely no idea how to respond. A half second later Millenium Salmon popped into my head, through my fingers, and onto the Internets. The positive response has been unanimous. K deemed the post "the geekiest thing I have ever heard from you. :)" In case you've forgotten, K keeps a Starfleet uniform in her closet and a copy of Neil Gaiman's latest comicbook/book/blogpost on her nightstand. High geek praise, indeed. Michael, on the other hand, gave it the " Oh my gosh, that's funny!" I once saw a laughing Mike squirt milk out of his nose. Ah, the joys of the RHS band lounge. While I'm glad he enjoyed the post, I hope dairy products were not within reach. T honored my post with mad props on her own blog. This is a blogger who posts about chickens in boxes, in-breeding jokes, and her Sith Lord children. Considering one of her recents posts is titled "All your zucchini are belong to us," I'm honored to have made the cut.

Although the name started as a joke, I now realize that any water going craft that might one day be piloted by me, Han Sole, and my trusty partner, Channelcatfish, must be named Millenium Salmon. Oddly enough, there's been some talk around the house about owning a canoe one day. Hmmmm . . .

My Space

The office rennovation project continues. I'm not one of those people who can work in a sterile office space. Several of my colleagues, both here at SMC and various other institutions, seem to take that stark, minimalist approach to office decorating. You can't find a picture of a friend, family member or pet, let alone a pen, pencil, or book. In fact, it's difficult to tell anyone even sits at the desk on a regular basis. That kind of environment just doesn't work for me. Every office space I've occupied, even if it was only a desk, announced "D Lives Here!"

My present office is no exception . . . except that I now have an entire office to myself. Green Lantern (the JLA Animated John Stewart), Mace Windu, Jabba's Palace Luke Skywalker, Shaak-Ti, Luminara, Superman, Godzilla, and Devil Ducky inhabit various regions of my desk. Ymir and diecast versions of the Justice League animated grace my bookshelf. The wall next to my desk displays an assortment of band posters, popular culture postcards (Blondie, Sid Vicious, Star Trek), and interesting advertisements. With the decorating essentially finished, I turned to music.

Since I spend a great deal of time in my office, I decided to rip a few CDs to the ol' HD. This is a new practice for me--I usually don't play music through my computer. However, since I really don't have any other media system in my office, the computer has to suffice. I loaded the following CDs earlier today.

Liz Phair--Exile In Guysville
Liz Phair--whitechocolatespaceegg
The Clash--London Calling
The Ramones--Ramones Mania
The Muffs--Really Really Happy
Metric--Old World Underground, Where Are You Now?
Joy Division--Unknown Pleasures
Ray Charles--The Very Best of Ray Charles
Miles Davis--Kind of Blue
The Sex Pistols--Englands Burning Ha Ha Ha
Blondie--The Best of Blondie
Siouxsie Sioux and the Bashees--The Best of

It's an eclectic mix, but it should keep me occupied when I tire of Internets radio.

The Feast Just Keeps on Coming!

Friday's Feast, September 23, 2005

Appetizer--Name something someone has done lately that impressed you.
Several students gave outstanding speeches.

Soup--Do you have any relaxing rituals? If so, what are they?
Reading a science fiction/fantasy novel usually winds me down late at night. A good run can also be relaxing . . . about a half hour after it's finished.

Salad--If you could spend the winter season somewhere other than your current location, where would you choose to stay?
I think I'd pick LA. The weather is more temperate and I'd be able to take in some great shows/bands.

Main Course--When was the last time you had dinner out, and what was the name of the restaurant?
Mabe's Pizza.

Dessert--If you had a boat, what would you name it?
The Millenium Salmon.

Making Something Out of Nothing

It seems that Gene over at Something out of nothing is putting away the quill and ink and a small gap opens in my little corner of the Internets.

Several years ago, when my life and mind were in a shambles, Gene helped me sort out some extremely messed up thinking. He didn't always agree with my choices and actions, but he always listened and he always had an appropriate question to ask or anecdote to share. I can't even begin to estimate how many late night cigarettes we smoked during our long distance conversations. Smokes aside, our conversations usually resulted in more questions than answers . . . and that was a good thing. I can't speak for Gene, but I was in a place where I really didn't know what I wanted. I thought I knew, but I didn't. As I had done so many times in the past, I'd deluded myself into idealizing a situation to the point where I couldn't distinguish the true from the false. Our conversations, and the questions those conversations raised, were an important part of a process that eventually brought some clarity to my thoughts.

During the year it took to regain some mental perspective, an extremely painful year for both myself and Gene, I visited Something out of nothing several times a day. At the time, Gene updated the site almost every day, usually in the wee hours of the morning. While he'll likely dismiss the meaningfulness of his blogging, his posts meant something to me. Sometimes he mentioned our conversations, adding his thoughts to our suspended dialogue, and sometimes he didn't. Some days he'd turn a self-reflexive lens on his past experiences and actions; other days he'd recount a trip to the store. Despite the topic, I always enjoyed reading his work (and admired his writing ability, something I'll never match). On more than one occasion his posts forced me to take a deep breath, lean back in my desk chair, and reflect on my own life.

I'm not one to beg people to continue writing when they've lost the passion for the work. From Gene's final post, it's obvious the time has come for Something out of nothing to conclude. The site served its purpose, I suppose, for both Gene and this faithful reader.

Thanks, Gene. Although you probably never intended it when you started writing your blog, you really did make something out of nothing.

Sunday's Feast

Friday's Feast, September 15, 2005

Appetizer--Do your closer friends tend to be male or female? Why do you think that is?
Definitely women. While I have a couple male friends, I have numerous female friends. Truthfully, I'm more comfortable around women. With men I think there's often a pissing contest to see who's more cool, knowledgeable about masculine things, and the like.* Whatever.

Soup--If you could wake up tomorrow with a new talent, what would it be?
How about the ability to dance ballet? I've always admired the skill and grace of ballet dancers.

Salad--Name a household cleaning item that you would recommend to others.
A Starbucks Barista grinder. If you're a coffee geek, like me, this is an affordable grinder that gets the job done. It reportedly produces grinds the equivalent of some of the much more expensive burr grinders.

Main Course--What do you strive for in life?
Serenity.

Dessert--On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how funny do you consider yourself?
Well, I think I'm hilarious. I'm a 10! This question could be better answered by STK or some of my friends.

I'm Just Wild About Meetings!

One of the things I didn't anticipate in my shift from adjunct-work-for-next-to- nothing-instructor to assistant-work-for-slightly-more-realistic-wage- professor is the number of meetings I have to attend each week. Presently, I have at least two, sometimes three, meetings a week. After the New-Kid-On-Block moniker wears off, I'm sure I'll be asked to serve on any number of college committees. Even with all the meetings, my present job sure beats the heck out of working a 9-5. I might be on a campus for eight hours a day, but much of that time is spent reading, thinking, teaching, and advising students. I count myself lucky that the days of sitting behind a desk doing the same thing over, and over, and over are long behind me.

One of the cool perks of my new job concerns travel funds. In the past, whenever I attended an academic conference my bank account took a pounding. This year, since I'm presenting a paper at a national conference, the school picks up the entire tab. As such, STK and TLO are attending the conference with me. While I'm at the actual conference, they'll tag along or do their own thing. The only real expenses for the trip are STK's airfare, which we snagged for $210, and food. Come mid-November, I'll be communing with Samuel Adams at his resting place. I'm also trying to swing a day trip to Concord (Walden Pond, in particular--I worship at the feet of Emerson and Thoreau). We'll see if we can work that in during our four day stay. We'll probably try to do the Freedom Trail thing, too. I wrote my MA thesis on Samuel Adams and the Boston Committees of Correspondence and can't wait to see the locales I envisioned in my mind's eye. I probably know more about the history of Boston than most, at least the decade or so leading up to the American Revolution, but have never visited the city. Go figure.

The Return of Friday's Feast!

Friday's Feast, 09/09/05

Appetizer--Who is the easiest person for you to talk to?
STK, without question. I can talk to her about absolutely anything.

Soup--If you could live in any ancient city during the height of the quality of its society and culture, which one would you choose?
Athens, most likely. I'd love to see ancient rhetoric in action.

Salad--What is the most exciting event you've ever witnessed?
The Denver Nuggets home win vs the Minnesota Timberwolves during the 2004 NBA playoffs. The atmposphere at the Pepsi Center was totally insane.

Main Course--If you were a celebrity, what would you do for a publicity stunt?
Proselytize about Scientology. No, wait. That's been done. I'd probably fake my death and disappear. I don't think I could stand all that attention.

Dessert--What do you consider the ideal age to have a first child?
Uh, 37?

The Precious Self

The whole world we travel with our thoughts,
Finding nowhere anyone as precious as one's own self.
Since each and every person is so precious to themselves
Let the self-respecting harm no other being.

-Samyutta Nikaya

RIP, Little Buddy

While several days have gone by since he left the desert isle for good, I feel compelled to comment on the passing of Bob Denver or, as I'll always remember him, Gilligan. Gilligan's Island is one of those shows that people either love or hate. I've never encountered a single person who said, "Eh, it was okay." Let's face it, the show wasn't all that deep. The narrative sequencing is repetitive, the characters one dimensional, and the general content is kind of like cotton candy--it looks and tastes great but there isn't a whole lot of substance.

And I loved every episode. Gilligan provided a nickname for my dog and child (I frequently refer to both as "little buddy"), introduced me to the wonders of banana and coconut cream pie, and never failed to elicit a smile from my face. I really can't put my finger on why I found Gilligan such a likeable fellow or why I still count the television show as one of my all-time favorites (right up there with The Dick Van Dyke Show and Buffy the Vampire Slayer). He was a bumbling fool, and an absolute imbecile, especially when the castaways were about to be rescued. That said, Gilligan was a genuine nice guy. He always helped the others out and rarely, if ever, put his own interests before anyone else.

My old authentic US Navy cap, provided by J (J could do a damned good imitation of Gilligan howling, "Skipper"), is off to the original little buddy. Thanks for everything, Willy.

Complete

There are too many things in this world to be learned, and life is too short to learn everything, so we should complete that which we have begun rather than dabbling in many things.

-Geshe Ngawang Dhargyey, "Advice From a Spiritual Friend"

Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Social Issues.

During the month of January, SMC (Small Midwest College for those who aren't up to speed) has J-Term. J-Term provides students the opportunity to take one class, and one class only, and focus all their attention on the subject matter. For example, it wouldn't be unusual for a professor to schedule 4-5 hours a day, MTWRF, and a discussion session in the evening. In essence, the students immerse themselves in the topic of study. J-Term classes are also an opportunity for faculy members to offer classes a little out of the ordinary. Some professors put together study abroad trips like a trip to the Canary Islands to study multicultural nonverbal communication or a journey to Japan to study/live the life of a Buddhist. I think I also read a course description for a trip to study the spiritual places of Great Britain. Other professors choose to stay close to home and offer such classes as The Politics of Rock and Roll (Political Science department), Environmental Philosophy, or Midwest Winter Ecology (Biology).

Friday, the department Head informed me that I need to design/suggest a course for the J-Term. After a bit of thought, I'm thinking of offering a class on science fiction and fantasy films and television. Rather than a survey course that simply teaches the history of science fiction and fantasy, I want to focus on the way science fiction and fantasy texts have addressed important social issues. I've become increasingly interested in this topic over the summer.

I've always been interested in the way popular culture artifacts invite us to enter a dialogue about social problematics. An episode of Everwood might encourage us to discuss teenage sexuality, a storyline on Alias might suggest we rethink The Patriot Act, and 30 Days could inspire a dialogue regarding poverty and the minimum wage. This summer has produced a variety of similar examples within the genre of science fiction and fantasy. The latest Harry Potter book, for instance, enters the public debate regarding terrorism, George Lucas allegedly critiques the Bush administration in Revenge of the Sith, and the remake of War of the Worlds revisits the images of 9-11. And so, I thought I'd offer a J-Term course that examines how we use science fiction/fantasy films and television as a way to make sense of the world around us (or challenge the sense we've made, maybe?). Some examples of film/television and their corresponding topics might include:

Forbidden Planet/The Day the Earth Stood Still/Planet of the Apes--WMDs

The Things from Another Planet/Invasion of the Body Snatchers/War of the Worlds/E.T./Edward Scissorhands--Fear of the other/Xenophobia

Lord of the Rings/Star Wars--Issues of Good vs Evil.

Blade Runner/The Terminator/Frankenstein--Technology out of control.

Logan's Run/A Clockwork Orange/1984/Minority Report--social engineering and/or privacy issues.

Existenz/The Matrix--Epistemological issues: how do we know what we know?

Buffy/Smallville--any number of teen issues.

Based on my brainstorming, I'm pretty sure I can develop an excellent class. Texts for the class would include books that offer academic critiques of film/television such as From Alien to The Matrix : Reading Science Fiction Film, and Liquid Metal: The Science Fiction Film Reader. I'd also put together a series of eReserve readings consisting of journal articles and pieces from the popular media (like When Harry Met Osama).

Any thoughts? Any additional films/television shows I could add? How about topics? I think this could be a pretty engaging class.

Uplifting Moment

I had one of those amusing teaching moments today. As part of the first day of class, I always ask students to introduce themselves, talk about their future aspirations, and offer one unique thing about themselves (something that makes them different from everyone else in the class). It's a fun little exercise that helps me learn a little about my students AND helps me do some name recognition. For instance, I'll make a mental note that Jennifer is part of a water skiing performance team (a fictional example). Anyway, this is a real exchange that happened in class earlier today. The "S" signfies a student and the "M" is me.

S: My name is blah, blah, blah. You know, I'm not really sure exactly what I want to do with my life. I do know that I want to do something that enhances humanity in one way or another. A unique things about me is that I spent the summer interning with Pfizer, the pharmaceutical company. You know, they make Viagra.

M: Well, there you go. Enhancing humanity in one way or another.

The class erupted into laugher--a couple students were obviously shocked that their professor would make such a joke and hid their faces in embarassment. Seriously, how could you not make that joke? That was a curveball, minus the break, floating out over the plate. You have to give it rip, you know what I mean?

Eh?

Anyone know how to pronounce the name "Gereon"? It's a German name and I'm absolutely clueless.

I've enabled anonymous posting once again. We'll see if the spammers stay away.

UPDATE. Problem solved. I ran into the person with the name and simply asked him how to pronounce his name. It's pronounced Garion. Hard G.

Welcome Back My Friends to the Show that Never Ends

I'll return to the moving tale in the few days. I promise. Recent events, however, call for some kind of post. Yesterday, I officially started my gig as Assistant Professor. Yes, Thursday consisted of eight hours of new faculty orientation: introductions, mountains of paperwork, and a half dozen "This is Small Midwest College" presentations filled the day. In the evening, new faculty attended a dedication service at which we were formally introduced to the college. Most of the introductions, presented by the dean of the college, went something like this:

"Barbara Bidwell, a new Assistant Professor in the English Department, joins us from the University of Montana where she just finished her Ph.D. Her dissertation, Female Archetypes in the Contemporary Science Fiction Novel, investigates the way in which the written performance of the feminine offers a transformative vision of gender. Barbara will be teaching Introduction to English Literature, Composition, and Contemporary Science Fiction. Word has it that Barbara also has a passing interest in wildflower gardening and looks forward to cultivating local varieties in her back yard. She is joined by her partner, Jennifer, and their seven year old daughter, Emma."

Most of the introductions remained suitably formal. From all the feedback I received today (a six hour full college faculty meeting), my introduction stood out from the others. The Dean said something close to the following.

"Derek, our new Assistant Professor of Communication Studies, joins us from the University of Metropolis where he recently completed his Ph.D. His dissertation project, The Subcultural Self after Postmodernity, explores how individual and collective subjectivities are constituted, negotiated, and performed, both discursively and non-discursively, in the realm of everyday human interaction.

::Dean breaks from notes and addresses me directly:: I'm not responsible for this next part, Derek. Kim said it's totally appropriate and that you wouldn't mind ::turns back to audience::*

A self-avowed geek, Derek is an avid fan of Star Wars, The Green Lantern, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Smallville, and riot grrl punk. As a new member of our faculty he'll be teaching Public Address, Media and Society, and the Rhetoric of Everyday Life. His wife, STK, and their 9-week-old son, TLO, have also joined our community. Welcome to you all."

Apparently, Kim tracked down a description of myself that I posted as part of a test project for a portfolio community. I'd forgotten I participated in the experimental tech venture several years back. Regardless, I loved the introduction and it aroused the curiosity of almost everyone in attendance. My introduction, coupled with my alternative appearance, has made me the talk of SMC. Everyone seems to go out of their way to meet me. I'm continually amazed by the number of people who approach and say, "I've heard so much about you. I had to come introduce myself." Keep in mind that I spent a grand total of three days in this community before moving here. During that time, I probably met about a dozen people around campus. Word travels fast in SMC. Faculty, librarians, human resources folks, students . . . it doesn't matter, they all want to meet the new guy. Honestly, this is probably about as close to being a rock and roll star as I'll ever get. Three weeks into the semester, my novelty will wear off and I'll be just another prof. Until that time, I think I'll bask in the spotlight for couple weeks.

*Kim is my department Chair.

Episode IV: A New Home

With a new driver behind the wheel of the truck--me--we left Des Moines on Monday AM and started on the last leg of our journey. It's amazing how much better a truck will run when all the parts are in working order. That's not to say the drive went without incident. About 1.5 hours from our final destination, we stopped to fill up the truck one final time. As I pulled into the filling station, the "Change Oil" indicator lit up. After much cursing ("Not again! Frackin truck!"), a conference with our travelling mechanic (my father), and a quick dip of the dip stick (oil in the pan), we opted to press on. We'd let Penske deal with any problems at a later date.

About 2:30 P.M., we arrived at our new home. New problem: as J was forced to leave for his flight, I now had few options regarding unloading heavy items. A quick call to let my Department Chair know that we arrived safely solved the problem: her husband would drop by to help after he got off work.

And so we started the unloading process. A half hour into the process, one of my new colleagues stopped by to lend a hand. 15 minutes after that, another colleague offered her assistance. A half hour later, the Chair's husband arrived followed soon by the chair herself. With the help of most of my new colleagues, the other two were out of town, we had almost everything unloaded by 6:30 PM. If you want to make a good impression on me, bail me out of a difficult situation. We went from having no help to more than enough help. My faith in the universe was restored.

Two days later, the Penske company redeemed itself to some degree. When I returned the truck, they offered a 15% refund for our troubles, a refund I immediately refused. I hopped on the phone with the district manager, we discussed the issue for almost a half hour, and he finally agreed to a 30 percent ($300) refund. I drove home pleased with my negotiating abilities.

STK Killer

Heard from STK a few moments ago:

"Everytime I see an article about the BTK Killer I think of STK. Thanks for that nickname. Thanks a lot."

My pleasure! Although, I should note that J originally tagged you with the nickname. I will admit to popularizing it, however.

Episode III: Revenge of Penske

With a few hours of sleep behind us, we faced Saturday morning with a grim determination. Still stinging from the lack of space, we found our spirits dampened but not extinguished. Worse things could happen, right? We crammed a few remaining items in the nooks and crannies of the truck,

hooked up the civic to a tow dolly,

hooked up with our trusty companion/truck driver J,

and said goodbye to Aurora, CO.

Our farewells to the Denver Metro area were bittersweet. STK and I loved living in Colorado. We liked our condo, even though it was getting a bit small for the family, loved our friends, enjoyed the proximity of our families, and even loved our jobs. With a great deal of sadness, mixed with the excitement of new jobs, new friends, and a new home, we watched the mountains fade in our rear view mirror.

The beginning of the trip went without incident. We cruised across NE Colorado, stopping only for gas and the ocassional restroom break. Midway across Nebraska, our fortunes changed. We stopped in Kearney, NE for dinner and a brief rendezvous with STK's sister, brother-in-law, and niece. They moved to Kearney about a year ago and a dinner stop/visit made perfect sense. Saying yet another round of goodbyes, we pointed the truck toward our final destination for the day: Lincoln, NE.

As we started down the ramp to I-80, STK and I heard the rental behemoth sputtering and backfiring something fierce. J tried to limp the truck up to interstate speed but the truck failed to cooperate. We parked our respective vehicles and convened on the side of I-80. "I think we got some bad gas," mused J. "I'd bet almost anything that there's some condensation in the tank. Let's limp up to the next exit and get some dry gas engine treatment. That stuff will usually take care of water."

And limp along I-80 we did. Achieving a maximum speed of 45 mph, and usually cruising at speeds closer to 35, we chugged along to the next exit. With a couple cans of Heet in the truck's tank, we attempted the interstate once again. This time, the truck sputtered and backfired far less and managed to get up to a cruising speed of 65 mph. J called on the cell phone and reported that while the truck still wasn't running perfectly, it was performing much better. We all breathed a sigh of relief and completed the journey to Lincoln.

J got a big kick out of the fact that I picked a motel right next to an adult retail store. In fact, J accused me of picking the motel because of the sex shop. I'll never tell.



20 minutes after our arrival, I returned to the parking lot for more luggage only to see J emerge from Dr. John's adult emporium carrying a whip. "Check it out!" he exclaimed. "A whip from a sex shop in Lincoln, NE. I even had to show the people how to use the damn thing! Hahahahahaha!" There's never a dull moment when J is around.

We started the Sunday portion of our journey believing truck problems were behind us. Crossing the NE/IA border, we learned otherwise. The truck chugged up the bluffs of the Missouri river, slowing to speeds of 20 mph at the crest of a hill. Pulling off at an undeveloped rest area (no facilities, only parking), we realized our problems were probably greater than condensation. I hopped on the cell phone and called the Penske roadside assistance number. To their credit, they got right on the problem and arranged for help. The problem: we were in the middle of nowhere. It would take a mechanic at least an hour to reach us. I walked to the Element, talked quietly with STK, rested my head on door jam, and cried for a moment. I was beyond frustrated with the entire move and questioned whether we were doing the right thing. Realizing that nothing could be done but to finish the journey, I pulled myself together and started looking at alternatives.

With the temperature rising into the 90s, STK and my mother gathered our infant son and five pets and headed for the comfortable surroundings of my aunt's home in Des Moines. J, my father, and I settled in to wait for the mechanic. And we waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, a fellow from Doug's Diesel arrived and tried to replace the fuel filter. Only one problem--he had the wrong fuel filter. He informed us that procuring the correct part meant a trip to the automotive supply store a half hour away. So, the three of us settled in for another hour long wait. We waited, and waited, and waited. An hour and a half later, the guy returned with the correct fuel filter, replaced the part, and asked us to drive up to the next exit. We did. Nothing had changed. The truck still wasn't running properly.

Any other repairs would require a service shop. So we turned the truck around and drove west on I-80 toward Doug's Diesel. This leg of the journey, however, the truck moved at the ridiculous speed of 20 mph. On an interstate. Through a construction zone that curtailed traffic to one lane in either direction. You can imagine the frustration of the drivers who lined up behind our creeping truck. Oddly enough, about ten minutes into the 10 mile journey the truck suddenly experienced a surge of power and managed to approach 55 mph. When we arrived at Doug's Diesel, J jumped from the cab of the truck and shouted, "I've experienced the power of Jesus! I was holding up traffic and I could just hear all those people praying for me: 'Jesus Christ, get that god-damned truck moving!' Would you believe it worked! Hallelujah!"

Our stay at Doug's Diesel lasted a total of four hours. A mechanic who volunteered to give up his day off to work on our truck (keep in mind that this was a Sunday) quickly diagnosed the problem as a faulty fuel pump and dispatched someone on yet another parts run. We waited. And waited. And waited. Here's me waiting:

As one might imagine, my patience at this point in the journey had reached nil. J, and this is exactly why he's the amazing friend that he is, calmly reminded me that despite the problems with the move, everyone was safe. "Keep thinking about that new baby of yours," he suggested. "That's what really matters. Everything else just is."

Finally, about 7.5 hours after our breakdown, the fuel filter was replaced and we were back on the road. The truck ran perfectly and we rolled into Des Moines two hours later. Unfortunately, we had to part company with J almost immediately. His return flight to Denver was leaving the following morning and he wouldn't be able to complete the journey with us. We made arrangements for a relative of his to get him to the airport, thanked him profusely for all his help, and parted company.

We crashed into bed not daring to tempt the fates by hoping for an uneventful final leg of the journey.