Conversational Realities: Waterproof Underpants

A little context for the following conversation between my son and one of his friends. I swim a ton during the summer. I swim laps almost single day and, as a former competitive swimmer on a summer club, that means wearing a Speedo. A trunk style suit just doesn't cut it when I'm cruising back and forth for an hour. I'm also in pretty good shape and wear a Speedo far better than many men my age. Last weekend I went swimming with my son and was splashing around in my Speedo. One of his friends happened to be there and the following exchange took place.

Friend: Why is your dad wearing his underpants in the pool?

TLO: Those are waterproof underpants, dude.

As one might imagine, I'll never wear a swimsuit again. From this day forward, I will always head for the pool wearing my waterproof underpants.

Perspective

"Luke, you will find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view." Obi-wan Kenobi, Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi

Case in point.

Misunderstood

Quote of the day:

"Just because you're misunderstood doesn't mean you're an artist." -Author Unknown

Classic. I think this one might go on my office door.

Running Away from Lava in Swim Fins

Holy frak is the following blog post funny.

High Pitched Confusion Alarm: Moving with Dogs

If you have a dog(s), you understand.

Conversational Realities: Dumbasses

Me: I just don't understand why audiences won't watch intelligent television.
STK: They're all a bunch of dumbasses.

And I think that just about sums it up.

It's a Book!

What a novel idea!

Sign of the Oilpocalypse

I never thought I'd be saying this, but I agree with Joe Scarborough.

I would make the John Kennedy speech that by the end of the decade, we will go to the moon. This president can say, thank god it's the beginning of the decade, by the end of a decade, America will break its dependence on foreign oil. By the end of the decade, we will control our own destiny. By the end of the decade, we will be positioned to dominate the world in energy for the next century. We will do it because we must do it...

If anything good can out of this horrific environmental disaster, this would be the opportunity to make something happen. Imagine what would happen if the government poured money into an Apollo project type program intended to make significant strides in energy independence. This won't happen, of course, because the Obama administration appears to be more and more reactive over time. Why the frak didn't the White House mobilize containment crews the minute the extent of the BP disaster became apparent? A screw up of epic proportions. I suspect STK, my infinitely tolerant partner, is tiring of my "WTF, Obama?!" rants. Now is the time, Obama. Step up, make the speech, and freakin fight for something rather than maneuvering behind the scenes.

War Rules! Education Drools!

To all of the lazy teachers out there who were counting on a government handout.

A $23 billion payout to save thousands of educators' jobs faltered Thursday — perhaps for good — to election-year jitters among moderate Democrats over deficit spending and only lukewarm support from the White House.

So, let me get this straight. Our legislators don't want to put forth what amounts to another education stimulus because they're afraid voters will take them to task for too much government spending. The voters themselves bristle at any kind of tax increase to make up for recession created budget shortfalls. The only solution is to tell school districts to make more cuts? At the same time, both Congress and the average tax payer don't seem to have any problem shelling another $60 billion for ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Wars good. Education bad.

Hope all those teachers who are about to lose their positions have a resume tuned up. Oh, that's right, there aren't any teaching positions available.

What a freakin' waste.

Kiss My Creative Ass

From Spartacus: Blood and Sand Executive Producer/Creator and Whedonverse alum Steven S. DeKnight:

Let me be perfectly blunt: censor groups and religious watchdogs can kiss my creative ass. I have no time for those who would hold themselves above the rest of society and claim moral authority to dictate what books we read, music we listen to, or entertainment we watch. These calls for censorship are often couched in the hysterical battle cry of “we must protect our children!” Yet it is a fine line between protecting our children and being treated like a child. This show is clearly designed for a mature audience. If your kid is watching it, well then you need to keep a better eye on your offspring, buddy.

Love it. If you don't like the content of something, don't read it, watch it, or listen to it. Period. Critique it, slam it, refuse to watch it, whatever. What you don't get to do is tell me what I should, or shouldn't, consume. I got that covered, thanks.

Snobbery

My belief is that Dollhouse is a show that will be rediscovered on DVD and Blu-Ray by people who either have not seen it or gave up on it early on. This has turned out to be a rich, complex, and fascinating successor to Buffy and Firefly. Joss Whedon’s problem has always been that his shows are too intelligent, too challenging for broadcast TV. There will never be more than a limited audience for his shows because there are simply not enough Americans who value intelligent TV.

I'm going to let my Pop Culture Elitist flag fly, but I agree 100% with Robert Moore and his analysis of contemporary television. The only place for people like Whedon is on cable. The major networks are so starved for income that they water down everything and anything to make it more palatable to the most viewers. With the exception of a few thought provoking series, most network TV fare is cotton candy. I want media that makes me think, that surprises, and leaves me mulling over ideas for days, weeks, or months. What is there to think about after watching the latest Dancing with the Washed Up Stars? I guess we could talk about whether or not Donny Osmond bleaches his teeth (most certainly) or takes steroids (probably not), but that doesn't seem all that important in the extreme scheme of things. Shows like Dollhouse, on the other hand, feed my inner post-structuralist and challenge me to think about the implications of identity, subjectivity, and the collapse of modernity.

Despite the conclusion of Dollhouse (I gave the 1st season a C+; this season gets an A), there's hope on the horizon: there's a rumored meeting between Whedon and the head of FX sometime next week. Let's hope he's floating an idea for a new cable show.

Help us Joss Whedon; you're our only hope.*

*Which isn't entirely true. There is some good TV out there but you really have to dig (and have a DVR) to catch it. I'll post my list of worthwhile shows to watch in the next few days.

Dialogue

It is my belief that whereas the twentieth century has been a century of war and untold suffering, the twenty-first century should be one of peace and dialogue. As the continued advances in information technology make our world a truly global village, I believe there will come a time when war and armed conflict will be considered an outdated and obsolete method of settling differences among nations and communities.

- His Holiness the Dalai Lama

I wish President Obama would have spent some time with the Dalai Lama before making a decision on Afghanistan. To say I'm deeply disappointed in the decision to send more troops would be an understatement. His decision didn't come as a surprise; this is the position he articulated during both the primary and general elections. I knew he'd likely support a prolonged war effort in Afghanistan and voted for him anyway. Did I sell out my personal commitment to peace. I think I did? Having a son who is scheduled to deploy to Afghanistan in about five months, I'm feeling more than a little conflicted.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

I haven't posted here in a while (I'm trying to find a way to remedy that--I miss blogging, actually), but I just couldn't resist posting this little gem.



Hope everyone had a good holiday.

Divergence

I recently had a conversation with a person I used to know quite well. In fact, the person said something along lines of "You used to be my best friend and I respected your thoughts more than just about anybody. Now, I just don't know who you are." Around what did the conversation in question center? Obama and the healthcare debate. When this person started down the "Obama is a Socialist" path and I suggested, in what I thought was a rather non-threatening manner, that the "socialist" argument was a form of fearmongering intended to elicit a purely emotional response, I found myself on the receiving end of a conservative tirade. People are lazy, almost all people in need are actually out to game the system, and Obama is just trying to give handouts. I was also informed that my position (systemic inequities exist that lead to significant social/political/economic advantage and disadvantage) was the result of being brainwashed by people who look like, well, me (the liberal intelligentsia?). Ultimately, the person in question implied that my position--some kind of healthcare for all--was somehow in opposition to my education and intelligence. I bit my tongue (I think it may have been bleeding) and removed myself from the conversation.

I will gladly have a debate regarding the ideological positions regarding whether the US should offer healthcare to all citizens or not. There are reasonable arguments to be made on all sides of the issues. While I will defend healthcare as a right, I understand there are well thought arguments against that position. What I will not listen to is someone tell me that Obama is covertly advocating some kind of socialist takeover by the US government. That is just disingenuous and unfair. Quit spewing conspiracy theory nonsense and dig into the substantive issues at hand.

And to that person with whom I had this conversation: you're right. You don't know me. At all. Our political positions, and our general views of humanity, diverged 17 years go. I tried to have a civil conversation with you. I presented my position as one way of viewing the world, not the right way of viewing the world. I listened to your position and acknowledged that your view was a valid way of engaging the healthcare debate. In return, I was attacked. Not my position, not my argument, but me. I'm stupid because I don't think like you.

Brilliant.

Spank!

I gave my students a verbal swat on the behind this afternoon. When I asked what they thought of the President's address to the joint session of Congress, only one person could engage in a thoughtful discussion thereof. Why? With the exception of this one student, nobody took the time to watch or read the President's remarks. Are you kidding me?

I reminded my students that one of the goals of a liberal arts education is to become a learned citizen capable of joining the conversation regarding the public good. I suggested that their education goes beyond what they're learning in the classroom and extends to their practices in everyday life. Seek out knowledge and become a "person equipped to understand and confront a changing society." That's straight from the mission statement of our fine institution. One would think that students, particularly Communication Studies students, would be interested in how the President's message fits into a particularly contentious debate about our changing society.

Is this thing on? Am I reaching any of these young adults?

Hot Zone

I received an email from our Public Information office late yesterday afternoon: 7 cases of H1N1 have surfaced at our school. With all the conflicting media reports out there (It's a pandemic! It's really nothing to worry about!), I suppose the school is handling the news in the best manner possible. Nobody appears to be freaking out; instead, the administration is encouraging students to quarantine themselves and asking the community at large to do simple things like hand washing, preventative coughing and sneezing (sneeze into your hand or your arm), and staying home if one becomes symptomatic. The last one will be tough for me. I'm that professor that brings a box of tissue to class and lectures with a 101 degree fever. The administration also asked all professors to think about contingency plans for keeping ill students up to speed with coursework. The expectation is that we'll modify any course assignments so that they can be handled digitally, thus limiting contact between infected students and the rest of the campus community. This will be inconvenient, in some cases (how do I handle remote speech assignments? webcam?), but not impossibly so.

As my school is a residential campus--all 2700 students are required to live in residence halls all four years--it should be interesting to see how quickly this thing spreads. In fact, we've been identified as one of the most dangerous infectious disease sites in our county. Score!

Am I being selfish if I admit that I'm more concerned that I might bring home the virus to my 4 year old son than I am about infected college students? When will those vaccines hit the clinics? I want mine yesterday.

Conversational Realities

STK: What do you think Mom and Dad do while you're asleep?

TLO: Watch Olbermann. Or Burn Notice.

Errand Boy

Where did all these errands come from? School starts a week from today and I've been running around the last few days trying to tie up a few odds and ends before I'm back in the classroom. Bank, hardware store, supermarket, library, office. Lather, rinse, and repeat.

The Show That Never Ends . . .

I really had no intention of leaving this place to gather dust for three months. Three months? Where did three months go? Seriously. WTF? As I retreated from the world after the Nuggets' loss to the Lakers, I can understand the month of June. I have absolutely no excuses from July and August.

Seriously, though, the latter part of May and the 1st half of June were all about writing, writing, writing. I sent a co-authored article off to be ripped by the critics of a prestigious journal (I am completely confident that the piece will be outright rejected), finished a book chapter, and hammered out a quick book review. Not a bad bit of academic production during the first month of the summer, eh? I've accomplished zilch since that little burst of academic productivity but we take our victories where we get them, right?

I'm noodling around with one other piece, a piece that's written and being presented at an upcoming convention, but I'm getting the feeling that I need to do a MAJOR reworking of the article if I want to get it published. An anonymous reviewer for the convention thought the piece was good enough to present but wasn't good enough to be taken all that seriously. I'm bound and determined to make that reviewer eat her or his words. Said review did make a couple of useful comments about weaknesses in the piece that I've taken to heart.

I'm also starting the preliminary research (I'm reading, reading, reading) on two different projects, one of which might be suitable for a book length manuscript. The other project concerns the recent explosion of rural quilt projects. The county in which live is just starting one such project and it would be fairly easy, I think, to gain access to the people involved. My finished work would involve the rhetoric of these pieces. Is it just me or do these modern works of art--modeled after an artistic medium of historical significance and installed frequently on old weathered barns constructed in the 19 century, reveal an attempt to suture a modern/postmodern fissure? As the Bellamy Bros song says, "Should he hang on to the old, should he grab on to the new?" The major question regarding this project is whether or not I should pull together a proposal and submit the project for a possible governmental summer research grant. The grant pays up to $6000 for two months of work. This kind of thing always gives me great pause as I could take the 20-20 hours of work needed to pull together a competitive proposal and be denied. Aye, there's the rub.

Enough about academics. Over the next few days I'll try to post a couple updates regarding the whats and wherefores of life in Bluff country. I know at least one or two of you might enjoy reading about what's been up in my life for the last few months.

For the Record

Before the Nuggets/Lakers game starts I want to get my prediction out there and on the record. This isn't based on any statistical measure or observation. I'm making my prediction purely on my homerism as a Nuggets fan. The fact that I absolutely LOATHE the Lakers makes my prediction even easier.

This is the year the lowly Nuggets emerge as winners. Nuggets take the series 4-2.

Mini Meditation

We're trying to introduce the concept of "quieting the mind" to TLO. He has become exceedingly verbose in recent weeks (verbose as in he NEVER stops talking) and it's starting to wear on both STK and me. TLO has also inherited almost all of my bad personality traits--odd and sundry obsessions, fiery temper, the inability to let something go--which he really doesn't need. I've worked on these issues for the better part of 16 years, with varying degrees of success (and still a lot work to do), and it pains me that he probably has similar struggles ahead.

With these things in mind, we've decided to introduce five minutes of family meditation right before bedtime. We started the practice last night and it went surprisingly well. After completing TLO's usual pre-bedtime ritual we made our way to our meditation space (we have a family altar in the house), lit the candles next Buddha, fired up some incense, and assumed the customary sitting position. TLO rang our small singing bowl at the start and conclusion of our five minutes. He did surprisingly well. He sat, quietly, with his hands in his lap.

STK and I have talked about this experiment as an attempt to introduce some sense of spirituality into TLO's life. As we don't attend church and have a difficult time finding our way out to the local monastery, this appears to be the next best thing. The more I think about this, though, I realize this is as much about STK and me as it is about TLO. We haven't been doing much meditation lately (none would be more accurate) and there was a time when STK and I were far more dedicated to our respective spiritual practices. I miss that. My beliefs haven't changed all that much but my sense of connection with those beliefs has faded. Maybe this will help reestablish some of that spiritual connectedness.