Fire Ze Missiles

This is pretty amusing.

WTF Mates?

A National Tragedy!

I knew it wouldn't be long before someone entered the fray. Bishops from the Massachusetts Catholic Conference have declared the recent MA Supreme Court decision a "national tragedy."

Blustering Bishops

How can someone denounce this decision and, in the same breath, state that they don't wish to step on anyone's civil rights? I'm mystified.

Here's a simple test for deciding whether or not something is an issue of civil rights. Take the word used to describe the group of people in question, gays and lesbians, and replace it with a term used to describe an ethnic, cultural, racial, or religious group. I'll provide a couple examples.

Here's the argument as presented:

Allowing gays and lesbians to marry is a sure formula for chaos.

Now, let's run the test.

Allowing Blacks to marry is a sure formula for chaos.
Allowing Native Americans to marry is a sure formula for chaos.
Allowing Jews to marry is a sure formula for chaos.
Allowing Muslims to marry is a sure formula for chaos.
Allowing interracial couples to marry is a sure formula for chaos.

Sounds pretty ridiculous doesn't it?

Persecution

If we are to change the direction of our country, and turn people against Bush’s occupation of Iraq, we are going to have to face the ire and persecution of our local communities. If peace people in every local community insisted that our troops be brought home immediately, that the U.N. be sent in to restore Iraq, that all U.S. military aid to the Middle East be cut, and that our arsenal of weapons of mass destruction be dismantled, then we might all find soldiers marching at our front doors, trying to intimidate us. If we can face our soldiers, call them to quit the military and urge them to disobey orders to kill, then perhaps some of them will refuse to fight, become conscientious objectors and take up the wisdom of nonviolence. If we can look them in the eye and engage them in personal Satyagraha as Gandhi demonstrated, then we know that the transformation has begun (Military confronts civilian)

Amen, Father John.

Banned!

Without my knowledge, I've apparently joined an elite group. I couldn't be happier!

I was just up at the BYU library and tried to access your
page....congratulations, dearie, your page has been banned!

I thought it was hysterical.

Take care-
Tiff

I suspect my frequent rants on gay marriage and the prolific use of the "F" word triggered the BYU internet filters. While I'd like to think some BYU bigwig read my blog, damning me to Hell with each offensive post, I know I'm not all that important. Still, the issue of an institute of higher learning employing internet filters is bothersome. Isn't higher education about an open exchange of ideas, no matter how different they may be from our own? How can graduates of BYU claim to be well-educated if they've only been given access to a limited number of views? If you're not familiar with BYU, the school is affiliated with Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Unless I miss my guess, I suspect views that clash with LDS ideology are difficult to find.

Someday, I'm going to get all decked out in alternative garb, walk to the center of the BYU quad, and scream "Fuck!" as loud as I can. I wonder if security will chase me across campus? What a great image.

Iconoclastically yours,

D

Sacred Institution

"Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman. Today's decision of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court violates this important principle," Mr. Bush said in a brief statement released by the White House. "I will work with congressional leaders and others to do what is legally necessary to defend the sanctity of marriage."

Actually, George, marriage is a legal union between two people who commit to monogamy, financial cooperation, and, if they choose, a future family. What? You don't believe me? Take some time out of your busy schedule and stroll down to the local County Clerk and Recorder. With valid IDs, ten bucks, and the ten minutes it takes to fill out the paperwork, a couple can obtain a marriage license. To make the whole thing even less sacred, a couple doesn't need a spiritual officiant to seal the deal. In fact, here in Colorado you don't even need a witness. Just sign your names on the appropriate lines, mail the completed license to the appropriate address, and you're married! Voila! Maybe I'm confused, but I'm not sure I see the "sacred" element to the entire process. If a couple chooses to enter into a relationship by way of a spiritual ceremony of some sort, they're more than welcome to do so. However, there's nothing in the legal paperwork declaring marriage a sacred institution.

One more time, George: the American people don't need you to make the decisions regarding what we should consider sacred and secular. We'll handle that on our own, thank you very much. In case you need a refresher, let me point toward the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Does the phrase "separation of Church and State" ring a bell? How about "Freedom of Religion." When you start legislating based on your religious convictions, you cross that line. And that's exactly why we have the Constitution. Checks and balances suck, eh George? Now before you go off claiming that the "majority of people" don't support gay marriage, let me remind you that the Bill of Rights was put in place to protect the minority from the tyranny of the majority. Just because the majority of U.S. Americans don't support the idea of gay marriage, doesn't mean that homosexuals don't have civil rights. Example: at one time most U.S. citizens didn't support a woman's right to vote. We all know how that turned out. Come on, George, and everyone else who supports "protecting the sanctity of marriage," this really isn't all that difficult. Simply put, there's a difference between your religious convictions and the protection of someone's civil rights. You're more than welcome to your religious convictions. In fact, that's probably one of the few things I can almost admire about you. You have your beliefs and they seem sincere (but a bit contradictory). In this case, however, civil rights trump your religious convictions.

**Religious convictions which seem to wax and wane. You do believe in Thou Shalt Not Kill, right? Three words: "Iraq" and "Death Penalty." In both instances, George Bush seems to trump the word of God. Now THAT'S an ego. Or an inability to recognize fundamental flaws in reasoning. I'm leaning toward the latter.

You're Fucked.

Is there a better Thanksgiving movie than Planes, Trains, and Automobiles? Is there a better all-time movie quote than Neal Page's car rental flip-out?

Car Rental Agent: Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?

Neal Page: Yes.

Car Rental Agent: Well, How may I help you?

Neal Page: You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. And you can give a fucking automobile. A fucking Buick, a fucking Datson, a fucking Toyota . . four fucking wheels and a seat!

Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.

Neal Page: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement.

Neal Page: I threw it away.

Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.

Neal Page: Oh boy what?

Car Rental Agent: You're fucked!

I should add that I had a similar flip-out while at my convention. Having flown a red-eye flight to Miami (I left Denver at 9 PM and arrived in Miami at 8 AM), I arrived at the hotel and soon discovered they'd screwed up my reservation. After patiently explaining the situation three different times, I lost it and the F-word started flying. Like Neal, my choice in vocabulary didn't change the situation. I was fucked.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Lewd and Potentially Explosive Behavior

The following email just arrived in my Inbox. I'm at home on Thanksgiving break and this kind of excitement continues on campus?

Today at 7:35 a.m., a half-hour after Morgan Library opened, a
custodian at the library reported lewd behavior by a couple in the
second floor men?s room. CSU-PD responded and took into custody a
juvenile female and a 28-year-old male. The male and female, who are
not students or employees of Colorado State University, were
apprehended without incident.

A suspicious device that looked like a grenade was found in the
mens restroom where the couple had been, so police immediately
evacuated the building of 100 staff members and about six student
library patrons.

The CSU police removed the device and safely destroyed it outside
in a special container. Early indications show that the device was
non-explosive.

Nothing more was discovered after the library was checked with a
bomb-sniffing police dog. The library was reopened at 10:45 a.m.

Drug paraphernalia and drugs were found on the male suspect, who is
being questioned by CSU-PD and who may face felony charges.

Eeeewww!

Warning: while reading this piece I almost blew granola all over my monitor. Proceed with caution.

Bodysnatchers

Watch Your Mind Carefully

Don't forget to bring the good experiences of meditation into your daily activities. Instead of acting and reacting impulsively and following your thoughts and feelings here and there, watch your mind carefully, be aware, and try to deal skillfully with problems as they arise. If you can do this each day, your meditation will have been successful.

-Kathleen McDonald, "How to Meditate"

We're Liberators, Not Occupiers. Really!

Some Iraqis don't see us as liberators of their country. After a U.S. American vehicle was attacked, witnesses reported the following.

About a dozen swarming teenagers dragged the soldiers out of the wreckage and beat them with concrete blocks, the witnesses said.

"They lifted a block and hit them with it on the face," said Younis Mahmoud, 19.

Occupation

The Rhetor Returns!

I've been at the National Communication Association for a few days. Blogging will commence shortly!

BFOQs

I don't know why I keep stumbling across these workplace related articles ::shrugs:: From time to time, I teach Business and Professional Speaking. While the class isn't my favorite, I do undestand it's a necessary skills course for many people. During the course of the semester, we spend a day or two talking about legitimate interview questions or bonafide occupational questions (BFOQs). What a person is supposed to do if they're asked a non-BFOQ is always an interesting discussion. I like the answer provided by this article.

Illegal Questions

Personally, I think I'd respond with the following:

"You do realize that's an illegal question, right? You should sign up for my Business and Professional Speaking course. We cover BFOQs, which your question isn't. Here's my card. I'll be happy to sign an override if my section is full. Until that time, I believe our interview is finished. I have no intention of working for such an unprofessional dolt as yourself. I'll let myself out."

Boxers or Briefs? PC or Mac?

This year's cool Presidential debate question, PC or Mac, wasn't generated by a hip audience member. Instead, CNN planted the question.

PC or Mac

Is there anything in the media that isn't manipulated? I don't think so, either.

bang fai phaya nak

Great Balls of Fire

My Name is Derek and I'm a Bush Hater

If there is one thing you can call a truth in this world, it's the following: I despise our President. Like Molly Ivins, I can list a litany of reasons on why we should jettison the Charlatan-in-Chief. His tax cuts are a joke*, his foreign policy decisions are a mess (see Iraq), and his commitment to "saving marriage" is an insult to anyone who believes civil rights are an inalienable right. Don't even get me started on the religiosity of his discourse. Ugh.

*See Reagonimcs. Trickle down economics didn't work during the 1980s and it won't work now. Back in the late 1970s, Bush the Elder (was running against Reagan for the Republican Party nomination for the Presidency) referred to trickle-down economics as "Voodoo economics."

Dating and Work Don't Mix

This should be a must read for every person entering the workplace.

Don't Date At Work

This Nation was never intended to be a Christian Nation.

I think someone's been reading my blog. I really like the following:

This Nation was never intended to be a Christian Nation. We are, however, a Nation of people who practice their faiths without fear of religious persecution, or government interference.

Freedom of Religion

Trippin!

As a recovering alcoholic (10 years, 5 months, and 7 days), I'm always interested by new developments in the rehab/recovery field. While I didn't have the resources to attend rehab, I know that's the start many need. Most rehab programs go something like this: admit that you have a problem, uncover the reasons behind why you drank/drugged, identify specific character defects (low self-esteem, selfishness, fear of being alone, etc.), accept personal responsibility for all your problems, make right the wrongs of the past (those that you can), and pass on what you have learned. Throughout the process, most programs encourage you to develop a spiritual connection to something greater than yourself. The nature of the path--Buddhist, Taoist, Wiccan, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, etc.--doesn't really matter. The important part of embracing a spiritual path is that the person in recovery has something to turn to other than drugs & alcohol. Rather than drowning a fiery temper in a fifth of bourbon or a case of Olympia, the person in recovery uses spirituality to extinguish the painful flames. For most of us, finding the right spiritual path is not an easy task.

I suppose my struggle to find a spiritual path is why I'm so skeptical of the following article. I have difficulties understanding how a piece of rootbark could stimulate a spiritual experience and cure someone of their addictions. To take that line of thought one step further: how could a plant stimulate a similar spiritual experience among so many different people? Is there really something inherently spiritual or magickal about this root? I have my doubts.

Magic Rootbark

I've Got Bloginality

Tiffany posted a link to a Bloginality (personality) test. It comes as no surprise that I'm an ENTP.

What's an ENTP? Check out the following links--I think they describe me well. The first is particularly appropriate.

ENTP1
ENTP2

On the Lighter Side

Recent DVD purchases:

Mars Attacks
Logan's Run
The Lost Boys
The Matrix: Reloaded
The Hulk

Recent Book Purchases:

Emerson
Experiences Between Philosophy and Communication: Engaging the Philosophical Contributions of Calvin O. Schrag
The Post-Subcultures Reader
Rhetorical Bodies
Using the Force: Creativity, Community, and Star Wars Fans